Boy Crazy Stacey! Part The End!
So, my sleep schedule has been totally whack (regular type, not wiggedy whack) and I got up early today. Because I'm anxiously awaiting the new Steven Universe and needed to kill time, I thought I'd better finish this bad boy up. Sorry it's a bit late, I was working on some stuff. And my tablet seems to have crapped out on me so, no more Photoshop for a while, sadly. But I've just been getting more aquainted with my watercolours. Well, all aboard the Stacey hate train! Toot toot!
Part 1! Part 2!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 11!
Stacey? I hate you. I hate you so much. You're a horrible person. Ann? I hate you too. You're a horrible person. How can you write people so awful and expect anyone to feel for them? Even when I was a kid, I thought Stacey was being really awful. And the thing is, she keeps doing things like this. When you write for anyone, especially kids, you're supposed to have lessons. People are supposed to learn and grow. But that never happens! Stacey never learns to stop putting her crushes above everything else! She never learns that you shouldn't treat people like shit because you think a boy is cute! She just does it again and again and again! Why does Ann think writing selfish, mean protagonists is the way to go?! Why does no one have any morals?! They should be changing for the better, not getting progressively worse! How can anyone be such a shitty writer yet have made millions off of their writing?! I'm infuriated!
Anyways, Stacey decides she's too precious to face Scott, like he did something wrong, and tells Dee and Mary Anne that she wants to skip the beach because she has a headache. Boo fucking hoo. When Mary Anne and Stacey are alone, Mary Anne reads her the riot act about sticking her with all the kids again and pretending to have a headache so she can weep. Mary Anne actually stands up for herself pretty nicely, because when Stacey says what does she care if that guy is helping her anyways, she tells her not to change the subject. I sincerely wish Mary Anne had said 'Yeah, helping me do your job.' Stacey also says that he, Alex, looks like a nerd. Hsssst. Are we really going to go through this again? Are we really gonna be totally judgmental over a person you know nothing about? Again I ask, what exactly has he done to constitute calling him a nerd?! Not a Goddamn thing! It's just Stacey being a judgey little bitch again! Why the fuck do they always try to convince us that Stacey isn't a 'New York snob' when they constantly give us evidence to the contrary?! I hate these books so much!
Stacey just keeps saying she's sorry but you know she's only doing it to shut Mary Anne up. Her emotions don't include other people! And if she was really sorry, she'd give Mary Anne and Alex her pay. If I was Mary Anne I'd say, 'What are you gonna use that money for anyways? You don't have a boyfriend to buy candy for.' I know everyone says Mary Anne is a passive-aggressive, but I wish she'd been even worse. The BSC fucking deserves it. Everyone but Stacey heads to the beach and Lord Byron asks if he can stay behind too. Stacey says yeah, as long as he doesn't irritate her 'headache'. I wish he had bit her on the ovary. He asks if they can take a walk and she acts like a cancer patient but says okay. They go to the bay and I really do not give a shit about Lord Byron overcoming his fear of the ocean or Stacey thinking that Scott liked her as a friend. No, you dim light bulb, he just saw you as a mule to get him free food and shit. She actually says they had 'fun'. Yes, girls! Running errands for a guy who gives you shit in return is so much fun! Tee hee! If I didn't know better, I'd say Malibu Stacey was named after this dumb broad.
Chapter 12!
Stacey writes Claudia saying she's in luv again. Jesus Christ, what a fucking flake. How does anyone not point this out to her? I would have been like, 'Jesus, again? Give your panties a fucking break. They can only take so much soaking. Just buy some Depends already.' The next day, they split up the kids and Mary Anne takes some into town and Stacey takes the rest to the beach. And her stupid ass wanted to take them to town because boo hoo! I don't want to look at Scott! Poor widdle me! Talk to Dawn Stacey, I'm sure she'd happily lend you a cross to bear. Wait, no she wouldn't. She doesn't know how to share.
Claire gets into a fight with a kid (so silly!) and Stacey has to find Alex to hand the crying boy over. They talk a little and Stacey notices he 'has a nice smile'. Yes, Stacey, that's good. That's real good the way you notice there's absolutely nothing wrong with this guy that you've been judging the moment you saw him simply because he was your age and doing your job. You earned a cookie. *whispers* I'm trying to kill her. Alex introduces her to the kids and his magically appearing cousin Toby who hasn't been there any other day. Stacey is all smitten even though boy is a hot mess. I mean, look at this-'His brown hair was sort of waved back from his face. It was held out of his eyes with a blue headband. He was wearing plain white swimming trunks, but his shirt was amazing - tan with silly pictures of cowboy boots and cactuses all over it. And his sunglasses - black bands with narrow slits from side to side to see through. Totally cool.' A headband, a Western theme shirt and ladder shades? But Alex is a nerd?
They herp a derp a bit then Stacey remembers she left Claire in the oven and leaves, all forlorn. Toby comes chasing after her and teaches Claire to make poopy drippy sandcastles. Since one kid is occupied, Stacey figures she can ignore the rest and talks to Toby. His favourite food is peanut butter (?) and his favourite band is Smash which is horribly close to Smash Mouth which is hilarious and horrible all at once. He also tells retarded jokes that he then explains because that's what you should look for in a guy. Stacey finds his brand of Laffy Taffy humor funny though, and declares she's in love. Again. Frankly, if my kid thought she fell in love more often than she blinks, I'd lock her in a suitcase.
Chapter 13!
On their last full day, the Pikes give Mary Anne and Stacey the night off. Stacey suggests that they talk to Alex and Toby and ask if they want to go on a double date. Emboldened by her earlier calling Stacey a skank, Mary Anne does just that. That night, they meet up with the boys and it's a total snore fest. Also, Mary Anne wore nail polish? Scandalous! Oh, my dear sweet God. I remember this part and thinking it was the single most idiotic thing I ever read. After dinner, they split up and Stacey and Toby go to the midway and Toby wins her a bear which she says 'It must have been beginner's luck (or maybe beginner's love)'. Seriously, have you ever read a stupider line?! Okay, so some of the stuff from 50 Shades beats it but good God. My face from reading that line hasn't changed in 20+ years.
Chapter 14!
Early the next morning, Stacey wakes up and daydreams about Toby. Claire comes in completely starkers because she's one step away from being a literal baboon. Stacey helps her get dressed and they go to the beach. Keeping her eyes off the baby, Stacey writes-'Stacey + Toby = luv' in the sand. She says she watches it but the waves never wash it away. Well, it must be true love! The sand said so! Or you know, tides. How do they work? She takes Claire back inside and everyone starts packing up. After that, they take the kids to the beach a final time and one thing I find interesting, is that Mary Anne is all dreamy about Alex and they went through the tunnel of love. I wonder whether Alex was her real first kiss and she never told Logan. I hope so because anyone is better than that rat bag.
Alex and Toby come to say their goodbyes and exchange addresses. When they leave, Stacey goes over to Scott and he's like 'Oh, you're leaving? Too bad' and Stacey wonders what he'll miss about her. Um, your free soda and sandwiches, obviously. She again says they had fun and it's a good thing I have a mouth guard because grinding my teeth like this can't be good for me. Stacey continues to be delusional by saying Scott was the first boy she fell in love with. 1) You're fucking 13 and don't have a clue what love is. 2) He's not a fucking boy. 3) You are fucking crazy. Anyways, it's time to head home.
Chapter 15!
Not much happens in this chapter. Everyone gets home and Stacey calls MA and actually apologises for being a total slut. I would take her apology more serious if she didn't keep doing this shit every time a boy looks at her. She also says she can think back to the box of chocolates and laugh which I don't buy for a second. There's no way in Hell Stacey is that humble and able to laugh at herself. None of these nutty bitches have a sense of self detrimental humor. When their egos are bruised, they stay bruised. After that she calls Claudia to dish ( that means gossip) and if there's one thing I love more than reading about some dumb kid's 'love' life, it's reading about it twice! And so ends our tale on no moral theatre. I don't know what's up for me next, so if you have any requests, pray tell. As always, thanks for reading!
Part 1! Part 2!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 11!
Stacey? I hate you. I hate you so much. You're a horrible person. Ann? I hate you too. You're a horrible person. How can you write people so awful and expect anyone to feel for them? Even when I was a kid, I thought Stacey was being really awful. And the thing is, she keeps doing things like this. When you write for anyone, especially kids, you're supposed to have lessons. People are supposed to learn and grow. But that never happens! Stacey never learns to stop putting her crushes above everything else! She never learns that you shouldn't treat people like shit because you think a boy is cute! She just does it again and again and again! Why does Ann think writing selfish, mean protagonists is the way to go?! Why does no one have any morals?! They should be changing for the better, not getting progressively worse! How can anyone be such a shitty writer yet have made millions off of their writing?! I'm infuriated!
Anyways, Stacey decides she's too precious to face Scott, like he did something wrong, and tells Dee and Mary Anne that she wants to skip the beach because she has a headache. Boo fucking hoo. When Mary Anne and Stacey are alone, Mary Anne reads her the riot act about sticking her with all the kids again and pretending to have a headache so she can weep. Mary Anne actually stands up for herself pretty nicely, because when Stacey says what does she care if that guy is helping her anyways, she tells her not to change the subject. I sincerely wish Mary Anne had said 'Yeah, helping me do your job.' Stacey also says that he, Alex, looks like a nerd. Hsssst. Are we really going to go through this again? Are we really gonna be totally judgmental over a person you know nothing about? Again I ask, what exactly has he done to constitute calling him a nerd?! Not a Goddamn thing! It's just Stacey being a judgey little bitch again! Why the fuck do they always try to convince us that Stacey isn't a 'New York snob' when they constantly give us evidence to the contrary?! I hate these books so much!
Stacey just keeps saying she's sorry but you know she's only doing it to shut Mary Anne up. Her emotions don't include other people! And if she was really sorry, she'd give Mary Anne and Alex her pay. If I was Mary Anne I'd say, 'What are you gonna use that money for anyways? You don't have a boyfriend to buy candy for.' I know everyone says Mary Anne is a passive-aggressive, but I wish she'd been even worse. The BSC fucking deserves it. Everyone but Stacey heads to the beach and Lord Byron asks if he can stay behind too. Stacey says yeah, as long as he doesn't irritate her 'headache'. I wish he had bit her on the ovary. He asks if they can take a walk and she acts like a cancer patient but says okay. They go to the bay and I really do not give a shit about Lord Byron overcoming his fear of the ocean or Stacey thinking that Scott liked her as a friend. No, you dim light bulb, he just saw you as a mule to get him free food and shit. She actually says they had 'fun'. Yes, girls! Running errands for a guy who gives you shit in return is so much fun! Tee hee! If I didn't know better, I'd say Malibu Stacey was named after this dumb broad.
Chapter 12!
Stacey writes Claudia saying she's in luv again. Jesus Christ, what a fucking flake. How does anyone not point this out to her? I would have been like, 'Jesus, again? Give your panties a fucking break. They can only take so much soaking. Just buy some Depends already.' The next day, they split up the kids and Mary Anne takes some into town and Stacey takes the rest to the beach. And her stupid ass wanted to take them to town because boo hoo! I don't want to look at Scott! Poor widdle me! Talk to Dawn Stacey, I'm sure she'd happily lend you a cross to bear. Wait, no she wouldn't. She doesn't know how to share.
Claire gets into a fight with a kid (so silly!) and Stacey has to find Alex to hand the crying boy over. They talk a little and Stacey notices he 'has a nice smile'. Yes, Stacey, that's good. That's real good the way you notice there's absolutely nothing wrong with this guy that you've been judging the moment you saw him simply because he was your age and doing your job. You earned a cookie. *whispers* I'm trying to kill her. Alex introduces her to the kids and his magically appearing cousin Toby who hasn't been there any other day. Stacey is all smitten even though boy is a hot mess. I mean, look at this-'His brown hair was sort of waved back from his face. It was held out of his eyes with a blue headband. He was wearing plain white swimming trunks, but his shirt was amazing - tan with silly pictures of cowboy boots and cactuses all over it. And his sunglasses - black bands with narrow slits from side to side to see through. Totally cool.' A headband, a Western theme shirt and ladder shades? But Alex is a nerd?
They herp a derp a bit then Stacey remembers she left Claire in the oven and leaves, all forlorn. Toby comes chasing after her and teaches Claire to make poopy drippy sandcastles. Since one kid is occupied, Stacey figures she can ignore the rest and talks to Toby. His favourite food is peanut butter (?) and his favourite band is Smash which is horribly close to Smash Mouth which is hilarious and horrible all at once. He also tells retarded jokes that he then explains because that's what you should look for in a guy. Stacey finds his brand of Laffy Taffy humor funny though, and declares she's in love. Again. Frankly, if my kid thought she fell in love more often than she blinks, I'd lock her in a suitcase.
Chapter 13!
On their last full day, the Pikes give Mary Anne and Stacey the night off. Stacey suggests that they talk to Alex and Toby and ask if they want to go on a double date. Emboldened by her earlier calling Stacey a skank, Mary Anne does just that. That night, they meet up with the boys and it's a total snore fest. Also, Mary Anne wore nail polish? Scandalous! Oh, my dear sweet God. I remember this part and thinking it was the single most idiotic thing I ever read. After dinner, they split up and Stacey and Toby go to the midway and Toby wins her a bear which she says 'It must have been beginner's luck (or maybe beginner's love)'. Seriously, have you ever read a stupider line?! Okay, so some of the stuff from 50 Shades beats it but good God. My face from reading that line hasn't changed in 20+ years.
Chapter 14!
Early the next morning, Stacey wakes up and daydreams about Toby. Claire comes in completely starkers because she's one step away from being a literal baboon. Stacey helps her get dressed and they go to the beach. Keeping her eyes off the baby, Stacey writes-'Stacey + Toby = luv' in the sand. She says she watches it but the waves never wash it away. Well, it must be true love! The sand said so! Or you know, tides. How do they work? She takes Claire back inside and everyone starts packing up. After that, they take the kids to the beach a final time and one thing I find interesting, is that Mary Anne is all dreamy about Alex and they went through the tunnel of love. I wonder whether Alex was her real first kiss and she never told Logan. I hope so because anyone is better than that rat bag.
Alex and Toby come to say their goodbyes and exchange addresses. When they leave, Stacey goes over to Scott and he's like 'Oh, you're leaving? Too bad' and Stacey wonders what he'll miss about her. Um, your free soda and sandwiches, obviously. She again says they had fun and it's a good thing I have a mouth guard because grinding my teeth like this can't be good for me. Stacey continues to be delusional by saying Scott was the first boy she fell in love with. 1) You're fucking 13 and don't have a clue what love is. 2) He's not a fucking boy. 3) You are fucking crazy. Anyways, it's time to head home.
Chapter 15!
Not much happens in this chapter. Everyone gets home and Stacey calls MA and actually apologises for being a total slut. I would take her apology more serious if she didn't keep doing this shit every time a boy looks at her. She also says she can think back to the box of chocolates and laugh which I don't buy for a second. There's no way in Hell Stacey is that humble and able to laugh at herself. None of these nutty bitches have a sense of self detrimental humor. When their egos are bruised, they stay bruised. After that she calls Claudia to dish ( that means gossip) and if there's one thing I love more than reading about some dumb kid's 'love' life, it's reading about it twice! And so ends our tale on no moral theatre. I don't know what's up for me next, so if you have any requests, pray tell. As always, thanks for reading!