Hello, Mallory! Part The End!
Oh, my gosh! I am the worst! I'm sorry this is yet another late snark! I was just having this rush of creativity and doing nothing but drawing all day! But because I have a backlog of drawing that I need to Photoshop and I seem to have lost my tablet cable, I was like 'road_baby! Finish your damned snark!' so, here we are! And if you would give my art a peeksie it's minmokitty on Instagram.
Well, let's go!
Part 1! Part 2!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 11!
Mal and Jessi are at their second meeting of Kids Inc. Mal tells Jessi that at the BSC they have their own private phone, rather than having it out in the hallway. She also says they have officers and they try to decide who should be what but can't so they decide not to have officers. Since no one is calling, they just talk. Jessi says that she's going to take ballet lessons after all. Mal congratulates her and thinks that Jessi and her are getting close and it's a pretty nice moment. It's ruined of course, by some of the ape children fighting. Mal breaks up the fight and Jessi commends her on her handling the situation. Mal wists that she wished the BSC could see how well she handled it. Jessi says they don't need the BSC which is true. Nobody needs the BSC. Except maybe a psychology major working on a thesis about people with groin-grabbingly huge superiority complexes.
They get a call from Mrs. Ramsey who needs them to watch the kids while she gets her hair done. After that they get a call from Comrade Napoleon. She asks how they run their club and accuses them of copying the BSC. Mal is like 'Who cares? You were the bitches who wouldn't let me in your precious cult.' And K. Ron says they 'tried' to let her join but she failed their test. Mal says what I've been saying, that that was a doctor level test. K. Ron gets all 'Won't someone please think of the children?!' And Mal is like, 'Bitch, I have plenty of experience.' So, K. Ron is like 'Well, have fun failing.' So, Mal is like, 'Listen up, you greasy monkey nipple, we already have jobs lined up and your tying up our line, so, bye, Felicia' and it's fucking hilarious.
Chapter 12!
Mal and Jessi are sitting at the Ramsey's and Becca calls Squirt a good boy in a very 'That's my dog!' type way. I'll say, Becca and Squirt have a really idyllic relationship that kinda makes me raise my eyebrows. I'm an only child, but I had little cousins and one I tried to get kidnapped by goblins and the other I pushed down the stairs. But that might be that my being born a Capricorn and in the year of the goat, I have extra doses of Lucifer in me.
Mal asks how things are going with Jessi and she says things are getting a little better. She says that at her dance school there are some girls who won't talk to her but everyone else is so wrapped up in actually working, they can't be asshats. Mal thinks about how when Stacey first moved to Stoneybrook, a bunch of people came over with food , flowers, coupons, and advice on living there (no matter how bad you want to, you can't launch that Brewer brat into the sun). Ya know, if I didn't know Ann was one of the worst authors in the universe, I would say she did a good job at writing a peaceful little town with a dark side. You know, that's it's full of racists and fascists and where time stands still. But since I do know that Ann is an awful writer, I'll just says, shut up, Martin.
Becca gets tired of pushing Squirt around in his stroller and gets out one of those giant bubbles wands. One of my few childhood memories is playing with one of those at dusk in our backyard. I got it at KBs and now they're all gone. Anyways, Becca is playing with it when a little girl across the street comes over and asks about them. Before Becca can say anything though, the little girl's mom comes out on the porch and yells at her to come back. When that's over with, Mal spots Charlotte lurking in the bushes and tells her to come over. Char says that her mom told her to come meet the Ramseys as they have a girl her age. She also brought some banana bread and say that her parents want to invite their family to dinner. Jessi is surprised but happy.
Chapter 13!
Remember what I was saying about Ann being a horrible writer? This chapter opens with a nail in the coffin that's also made out of nails. Mary Anne write in the notebook that they have a problem in being too busy and not being able to fill jobs. And how does Mal know this? She read it in the notebook a bit later. Ann? Does the 'M' in your name stand for meth? Because as I've said before, Mal would not have read the notebook unless she joined the BSC! So, it kinda makes you sound oh...like you've smoked copious amounts of drugs and then had someone go to town on your skull with a dwarven war hammer! And don't fucking have Mal say that the solution to the BSC's problem would be hiring her when you've spoiled it for your readers that they fucking hired her later! Now I have a soft spot for shitty things. I watch B movies, I follow Cake Wreaks, I love bad MS paint art, but for the love of God, that stuff doesn't make people millionaires! Seriously, between this and Twilight and 50 Shades, I am one small paycheck away from giving it all up and writing shitty drivel about dongs or teens or teenage dongs and making me some of those millions!
Where was I? Oh, yeah, an actual moment of hilarity. At the BSC meeting, everyone is in a bad mood. Claud is mad she can't find her Ring Dings and asks if anyone took them. Of course, Dawn has to jump in and say she'd never touch that trash and Claudia is gonna rot her teeth and break out and Claudia tells her to shut her trap and stop lecturing her! Ah hahahahaha! Score! She also calls Dawn a 'skinny, pale rabbit' and almost becomes lovable to me but she's still a BSC member and was being shitty to Mal for no reason so, she's still kinda an ass.
K. Ron tells them both to shut up and you shut up K. Ron, Dawn was getting insulted. That overrides any other business. She shows them the schedule book and the next two weeks are all filled up. They get two calls that Logan and Shannon have to cover and try to think about what to do. K. Ron says they need another member and MA is a good person for a change and is the first to mention that Mal did a good job of watching the apes in Sea City. They start talking about how she is a good sitter and mention that Nicky's broken finger was a total accident. Yeah, that's what Mal told you, you clamor of harpies. Claudia admits she knew nothing about the digestive system before the test. Well, seeing as you keep calling it the 'di-ves-tive' system, I'm surprised you even know that food becomes poop.
K. Ron admits that she didn't know anything about tourniquets either...So, all that ego was just a bunch of bitchy posturing. That's good! That's real good, Ann! I love it! I love that you write the most blown up, egotistical, bullying, head up their ass, baboon ass tumor of a character! And I love that that's who you wanted to be like! I love when people hang big signs on themselves that scream, 'DO NOT TALK TO THIS PERSON! THEY ARE SATAN'S MILKY BACKWASH PERSONIFIED!' Anyways, K. Ron says they screwed up and decide to call Mal and ask her to join the cult. And Osiris strike me down, but K. Ron actually admits they were unfair. She says all she'll have to do is go on another trial job. Mal says if they ask her to join, they have to ask Jessi too. They agree on this and Mal and Jessi celebrate.
Chapter 14!
Mal and Jessi as nervous as they get ready to go to the BSC meeting. Mal mentions something interesting when she says that since the other girls are older, they probably won't be all that close friends with them. Jessi says even if they don't end up that close, she and Mal will have each other. I find that interesting since the theory here in the comm is that most of the BSC members aren't really that good of friends. They have groups of best friends, but aren't all besties. And of course the older members wouldn't be as close to Mal and Jessi. They're plebs.
At the BSC meeting, K. Ron tells them that they'll have to go on trial sitting jobs but this time the senior members will just sit back and observe, rather than butt in and act all superior. Mal says that's fair and Jessi brings up a problem. There might be some people who don't want a black girl sitting for them. K. Ron does her one good deed of her life and tells her if people are so racist they don't want Jessi to sit for them, fuck 'em. We won't sit for them either. Which did pretty much happen in Keep Out Claudia! So, good for her for keeping her word. They set up the trial sitting jobs for Mal and Jessi and Mal might not be the only one Ann hates because Jessi's first job is for Jackie. Maybe she just hates 11 year olds.
Chapter 15!
Time for Mallory's sitting job at the Newtons. Mrs. Newton shows her around and tells her the washing machine repairman will be coming over while she's sitting. I would be...hesitant about leaving the house with an 11 year old in charge when a repairman comes over. Mrs. Newton leaves and Claud settles down in the kitchen while Mal takes the kids outside. And one thing that I always loved is that Jamie is pretending to be Superman and when he yells hi to Mal, she yells back hi and calls him Superman. I just loved that she was that good with kids. That alone should qualify her to be president of the BSC but we know you can only pry the presidency out of K. Ron's claws with the jaws of life.
-'Mine! Mine! Go write in the notebook or something!'-
Things are going smoothly when a phone call comes in and it's Mimi. She's having some trouble with something and Claudia needs to go home and help her. Mal says that's fine and Claud takes off. When she leaves, the Perkins girls come over to play with Jamie. And if I would give Ann credit for anything, it would be that apart from Nicky and some antagonists, she never had a problem with boys playing with girls. While the girls are playing, the repairman comes over. Mal takes Lucy with her but leaves the other kids playing in the yard. Just as she's handling that, Jamie falls off the swings. Mal rushes outside to check on him and he's fine. Claudia came just in time to see Mal handle everything just fine and lets her know she did a good job. She tells Mal that even though the whole cult needs to make the decision, she's pretty sure she made it. Mal is ecstatic and thinks she bets Jessi made it too. The End!
Well, I'm glad that ended on a happy note. Well, kinda. Two 11 year old girls joining a cult isn't really the happiest of endings. But at least it's a cult they want to be a part of! So, next I'm thinking another Mal book. How's does Mallory and the Trouble with Twins sound? I'm also thinking of Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn because we all know how much I love her. Let me know which you'd like to see or if you have any other suggestions! Thanks for reading!
Well, let's go!
Part 1! Part 2!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 11!
Mal and Jessi are at their second meeting of Kids Inc. Mal tells Jessi that at the BSC they have their own private phone, rather than having it out in the hallway. She also says they have officers and they try to decide who should be what but can't so they decide not to have officers. Since no one is calling, they just talk. Jessi says that she's going to take ballet lessons after all. Mal congratulates her and thinks that Jessi and her are getting close and it's a pretty nice moment. It's ruined of course, by some of the ape children fighting. Mal breaks up the fight and Jessi commends her on her handling the situation. Mal wists that she wished the BSC could see how well she handled it. Jessi says they don't need the BSC which is true. Nobody needs the BSC. Except maybe a psychology major working on a thesis about people with groin-grabbingly huge superiority complexes.
They get a call from Mrs. Ramsey who needs them to watch the kids while she gets her hair done. After that they get a call from Comrade Napoleon. She asks how they run their club and accuses them of copying the BSC. Mal is like 'Who cares? You were the bitches who wouldn't let me in your precious cult.' And K. Ron says they 'tried' to let her join but she failed their test. Mal says what I've been saying, that that was a doctor level test. K. Ron gets all 'Won't someone please think of the children?!' And Mal is like, 'Bitch, I have plenty of experience.' So, K. Ron is like 'Well, have fun failing.' So, Mal is like, 'Listen up, you greasy monkey nipple, we already have jobs lined up and your tying up our line, so, bye, Felicia' and it's fucking hilarious.
Chapter 12!
Mal and Jessi are sitting at the Ramsey's and Becca calls Squirt a good boy in a very 'That's my dog!' type way. I'll say, Becca and Squirt have a really idyllic relationship that kinda makes me raise my eyebrows. I'm an only child, but I had little cousins and one I tried to get kidnapped by goblins and the other I pushed down the stairs. But that might be that my being born a Capricorn and in the year of the goat, I have extra doses of Lucifer in me.
Mal asks how things are going with Jessi and she says things are getting a little better. She says that at her dance school there are some girls who won't talk to her but everyone else is so wrapped up in actually working, they can't be asshats. Mal thinks about how when Stacey first moved to Stoneybrook, a bunch of people came over with food , flowers, coupons, and advice on living there (no matter how bad you want to, you can't launch that Brewer brat into the sun). Ya know, if I didn't know Ann was one of the worst authors in the universe, I would say she did a good job at writing a peaceful little town with a dark side. You know, that's it's full of racists and fascists and where time stands still. But since I do know that Ann is an awful writer, I'll just says, shut up, Martin.
Becca gets tired of pushing Squirt around in his stroller and gets out one of those giant bubbles wands. One of my few childhood memories is playing with one of those at dusk in our backyard. I got it at KBs and now they're all gone. Anyways, Becca is playing with it when a little girl across the street comes over and asks about them. Before Becca can say anything though, the little girl's mom comes out on the porch and yells at her to come back. When that's over with, Mal spots Charlotte lurking in the bushes and tells her to come over. Char says that her mom told her to come meet the Ramseys as they have a girl her age. She also brought some banana bread and say that her parents want to invite their family to dinner. Jessi is surprised but happy.
Chapter 13!
Remember what I was saying about Ann being a horrible writer? This chapter opens with a nail in the coffin that's also made out of nails. Mary Anne write in the notebook that they have a problem in being too busy and not being able to fill jobs. And how does Mal know this? She read it in the notebook a bit later. Ann? Does the 'M' in your name stand for meth? Because as I've said before, Mal would not have read the notebook unless she joined the BSC! So, it kinda makes you sound oh...like you've smoked copious amounts of drugs and then had someone go to town on your skull with a dwarven war hammer! And don't fucking have Mal say that the solution to the BSC's problem would be hiring her when you've spoiled it for your readers that they fucking hired her later! Now I have a soft spot for shitty things. I watch B movies, I follow Cake Wreaks, I love bad MS paint art, but for the love of God, that stuff doesn't make people millionaires! Seriously, between this and Twilight and 50 Shades, I am one small paycheck away from giving it all up and writing shitty drivel about dongs or teens or teenage dongs and making me some of those millions!
Where was I? Oh, yeah, an actual moment of hilarity. At the BSC meeting, everyone is in a bad mood. Claud is mad she can't find her Ring Dings and asks if anyone took them. Of course, Dawn has to jump in and say she'd never touch that trash and Claudia is gonna rot her teeth and break out and Claudia tells her to shut her trap and stop lecturing her! Ah hahahahaha! Score! She also calls Dawn a 'skinny, pale rabbit' and almost becomes lovable to me but she's still a BSC member and was being shitty to Mal for no reason so, she's still kinda an ass.
K. Ron tells them both to shut up and you shut up K. Ron, Dawn was getting insulted. That overrides any other business. She shows them the schedule book and the next two weeks are all filled up. They get two calls that Logan and Shannon have to cover and try to think about what to do. K. Ron says they need another member and MA is a good person for a change and is the first to mention that Mal did a good job of watching the apes in Sea City. They start talking about how she is a good sitter and mention that Nicky's broken finger was a total accident. Yeah, that's what Mal told you, you clamor of harpies. Claudia admits she knew nothing about the digestive system before the test. Well, seeing as you keep calling it the 'di-ves-tive' system, I'm surprised you even know that food becomes poop.
K. Ron admits that she didn't know anything about tourniquets either...So, all that ego was just a bunch of bitchy posturing. That's good! That's real good, Ann! I love it! I love that you write the most blown up, egotistical, bullying, head up their ass, baboon ass tumor of a character! And I love that that's who you wanted to be like! I love when people hang big signs on themselves that scream, 'DO NOT TALK TO THIS PERSON! THEY ARE SATAN'S MILKY BACKWASH PERSONIFIED!' Anyways, K. Ron says they screwed up and decide to call Mal and ask her to join the cult. And Osiris strike me down, but K. Ron actually admits they were unfair. She says all she'll have to do is go on another trial job. Mal says if they ask her to join, they have to ask Jessi too. They agree on this and Mal and Jessi celebrate.
Chapter 14!
Mal and Jessi as nervous as they get ready to go to the BSC meeting. Mal mentions something interesting when she says that since the other girls are older, they probably won't be all that close friends with them. Jessi says even if they don't end up that close, she and Mal will have each other. I find that interesting since the theory here in the comm is that most of the BSC members aren't really that good of friends. They have groups of best friends, but aren't all besties. And of course the older members wouldn't be as close to Mal and Jessi. They're plebs.
At the BSC meeting, K. Ron tells them that they'll have to go on trial sitting jobs but this time the senior members will just sit back and observe, rather than butt in and act all superior. Mal says that's fair and Jessi brings up a problem. There might be some people who don't want a black girl sitting for them. K. Ron does her one good deed of her life and tells her if people are so racist they don't want Jessi to sit for them, fuck 'em. We won't sit for them either. Which did pretty much happen in Keep Out Claudia! So, good for her for keeping her word. They set up the trial sitting jobs for Mal and Jessi and Mal might not be the only one Ann hates because Jessi's first job is for Jackie. Maybe she just hates 11 year olds.
Chapter 15!
Time for Mallory's sitting job at the Newtons. Mrs. Newton shows her around and tells her the washing machine repairman will be coming over while she's sitting. I would be...hesitant about leaving the house with an 11 year old in charge when a repairman comes over. Mrs. Newton leaves and Claud settles down in the kitchen while Mal takes the kids outside. And one thing that I always loved is that Jamie is pretending to be Superman and when he yells hi to Mal, she yells back hi and calls him Superman. I just loved that she was that good with kids. That alone should qualify her to be president of the BSC but we know you can only pry the presidency out of K. Ron's claws with the jaws of life.
-'Mine! Mine! Go write in the notebook or something!'-
Things are going smoothly when a phone call comes in and it's Mimi. She's having some trouble with something and Claudia needs to go home and help her. Mal says that's fine and Claud takes off. When she leaves, the Perkins girls come over to play with Jamie. And if I would give Ann credit for anything, it would be that apart from Nicky and some antagonists, she never had a problem with boys playing with girls. While the girls are playing, the repairman comes over. Mal takes Lucy with her but leaves the other kids playing in the yard. Just as she's handling that, Jamie falls off the swings. Mal rushes outside to check on him and he's fine. Claudia came just in time to see Mal handle everything just fine and lets her know she did a good job. She tells Mal that even though the whole cult needs to make the decision, she's pretty sure she made it. Mal is ecstatic and thinks she bets Jessi made it too. The End!
Well, I'm glad that ended on a happy note. Well, kinda. Two 11 year old girls joining a cult isn't really the happiest of endings. But at least it's a cult they want to be a part of! So, next I'm thinking another Mal book. How's does Mallory and the Trouble with Twins sound? I'm also thinking of Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn because we all know how much I love her. Let me know which you'd like to see or if you have any other suggestions! Thanks for reading!