#19, Claudia and the Bad Joke pt. 2
Part 1
Are you ready for more? Pick one:
TOO BAD! I tricked you! Here'e more:
You'll get through this. I promise. It's not as bad as Mallory's treatment in Mallory on Strike!
Chapter 6
Charlotte has a dad? I guess so, since he visited Claud in the hospital, where you can have as many visitors as you want whenever you want. It was never that way any of the many times I was there.
Claud managed to lose all my sympathy in one quick moment. Bitch snarked on her roommate.
I felt kind of bad for my roommate, Cathy, who had no visitors, but I knew why she had no visitors. Cathy was (I’m sorry, but this is the truth) a great big baby. She was fourteen, and she’d broken her elbow and had an operation on it. I guess it was a bad break, but every time a doctor or a nurse wanted to do anything to her, she’d scream and cry as if she were two years old. No one knew what to do about it. Her parents tried to spend time with her, but they couldn’t be at the hospital every second, and no friends came or called or sent flowers. I decided that this was because Cathy didn’t have any friends. I wouldn’t want to be friends with such a baby.
SHUT UP, you stupid bitch! Cathy had a BAD break and is in a lot of pain! You think a regular break is bad? Try shattering a joint bad enough to need surgery! You also don't know how the break happened. It could have been traumatizing. When I was 14, I had a handful of major surgeries. After my first one, more than the others, you bet I screamed and cried. I was scared of more PAIN. I was scard they'd find something that would require yet another procedure that would hurt me. All the downtime from those years of my life are why I love to be so active now, and why it's killing me that even walking is painful. It's hard being a kid in the hospital after surgery. It really is! So Claud can shut up.
Claud gives Cathy one of her many bouquets. This isn't altruistic.
Mr. Pike goes to get coffee with Mrs. Kishi, and leaves Mal in charge of Vanessa and Claire. Yeah. Jamie's there too. No, it makes no real sense. But since this is the BSC-verse, there's Pike-kids neglect. Claire's hungry, but has to wait until they get home to eat, even though her good-for-nothing dad went to the caf for what he wanted.
Mary Anne sneaks in with Tigger, and before you say that wouldn't happen, it can. My parents snuck my cat in several times when I was 20 (they put him in a duffel bag with the zipper open, and they held it open), and my vitals kept dipping. My awesome cat of awesomeness, who was 15 at the time and lived another almost-9 years, laid there like a stuffed cat, even when nurses came in. One of the nurses screamed when Yoda moved on visit. But since they realized my vitals stabilized when he was with me, the hospital okay'd his visits.
Since Claud gave Cathy flowers she was going to give away anyway, Cathy better not "blab" about Tigger being there.
Oh damn those morons. They lost Jamie. He was found in another kid's room. Can't blame him. He thought his role as a visitor is to visit people. Kristy failed. Yeah, she's there too. Claud gets in more jabs at Cathy. Cathy's like the Mal of this book.
Stacey calls, in a stroke of perfect timing since the BSC was all gone (and another jab at all the calls being for her and none for Cathy), and oh noez, Claud might drop out of the club since she could break an arm.
Chapter 7
I'm spared handwriting due to this being an "educational" ebook download. It's Jessi and Mary Anne though, in one of those entries where a couple girls wrestle the book back and forth. They're ticked that the Pike kids wouldn't behave, and that Mal took another sitting job, and so was unavailable to watch her own siblings, since apparently she doesn't do enough around the Pike place.
They get to the Hellhouse, and are "frightened out of their wits" by Margo yelling BOO.
Nicky shakes Mary Anne's hand with one of those totally conspicuous buzzers that never scared anyone. She, naturally, screas her head off.
For once, the Pikes tell the kids to behave, but we all know only Mal has consequences. Telling the brats to behave is like telling Niagra Falls to stop falling.
Jessi promptly falls for a massive rubber spider, and absolutely panics, and doesn't understand by Claire is laughing.
The girls fall for very single gag that never fooled anyone in the history of ever. There's no way to sum up how stupid those girls are.
Chapter 8
Claud's finally going home, and she credits DAWN with saving her life, food-wise, while she was in there. Dawn BROUGHT HER JUNK FOOD. Who is the alien being pretending to be Dawn? Can we keep it?
Seriously, for a minor break, they don't keep you in the hospital for a week. Insurance won't cover all hospital stays, such as those deemed totally unnecessary, and hospitals can't go after patients for the shortage. That's a part of accepting insurance. You have to take what they offer as payment in full. This is why some anesthesiologists, for instance, don't take insurance. They can bill the patient for the full rate, or they can take less from the insurance company as payment in full. Insurance (they decide which insurance to even take based on how much is paid--if your coverage isn't accepted somewhere, it's because your carrier doen't pay out enough) is a guaranteed payment, but if all patients paid up out of pocket, that would be more. Long story short? Claud's stay wasn't needed, the insurance can refuse to pay, and her parents won't be on the hook. I mentioned being a sick kid. I remember my parents having to fight the hospital to not release me at times when I needed to be there. One time I was in the middle of a blood transfusion when the hospital tried to trick us into a discharge. Concerns over not getting paid led a lot of hospitals to release CHILDREN who weren't entirely stable.
Guys, those memes about how insurance would let kids die is totally fucking true. And it's better now than it was then.
Claudia would NOT have been in the hospital just for traction when there are rentable and buyable traction devices for home-use for the cost of a few hours of being in the hospital.
No now she's home, and everyone but Mimi bolts. You guys, Mimi got Claudia a gift. A Nancy Drew book! Awwww, Mimi!
Claud's having serious PTSD over this, and I'm gonna snark it. She didn't fall off a house. She used bad judgement in trusting a kid who'd been pranking her and who she was warned about. The Sobaks aren't typical Stoneybrook parents since none of the others are quite criminal in this way. The chance of a repeat isn't likely. She wasn't nearly killed. It was an avoidable accident, but it's not the end of the world.
The phone rings, and it's her entire homeroom class, on speaker phone, and she get to talk to each one individually. The whole class was "dying to do this."
When I went to a private school, classes made entire art projects out of making me cards. Teachers and the principal visited. A lot of students visited. It was wonderful. It was a marked change from being in the hospital when I was in public schools. The type of connection is very different. I do not, for one second, believe kids who are in the default method of schooling were just dying to make a big class phone call, and then planned it out, and that her getting home happened to conveniently be during homeroom. A more appropriate class activity would be to write letters or cards, not to put kids on the spot to talk one-on-one with some random kid in class who had a minor injury.
Oh! Cute story-time! So when I was in 7th grade, I sprained my ankle, and so was out of school about a week and a half since my private school didn't have elevators, and my classrooms were on the second floor. When I got back to school the first day, as usual everyone was very kind, and my amazing classmates helped me get around. No one that school left anyone to their own devices when help was needed. And on the first day, I wa going up the stairs, fell, and...OMG, I still can feel the embarassment of my crush catching me. Yeah, I fell into my crush's arms. Imagine the horros I felt. He was sweet, but I was mortified.
Back to the crap that is this story.
Call ends, and Mimim brings breakfast. Waffles and bacon, OJ and tea. Well. I'm going to make some waffles now IRL. Back in a bit.
Proof:
I like to mush butter and fruit preserves together instead of using syrup. Blueberry today!
Claudia whines about how she's going to have all this physical therapy after her cast comes off in a few weeks, though she can start walking on it in one more week, and how she's scared to babysit again. I've known many people who've broken legs, from toddlers to adults, and the ONLY one who ever had to actually have an ongoing physical therapist, as in more than the doctor assigning some exercises when taking the cast off, is someone who actually had to have a rod used to set the break. Can anyone here, whose had a break needing a cast for about a month, confirm the use of ongoing physical therapy? I've never even heard of someone getting back on their feet as fast as her. Two weeks from break to walking without crutches.
Mimi reminds us why we love her. She very kindly but clearly, tells Claud to think it over and stop being a baby because she doesn't like that she can't control everything in life.
They watch Wheel of Fortune (ah, the days when you went "shopping" to pick out prizes instead of getting actual prize money), and then the obligatory I Love Lucy reference. Because of course.
Chapter 9
Yeah, Claudia's scared of injury, all right. She's not too happy that Mimi won't let her go up the stairs, using crutches, without someone with her. Mimi's concerned it could be dangerous. DAMN RIGHT it is. That's why I won't use crutches to go up the stairs, even though I'm not supposed to be walking at all! A fall down the stairs hasa much higher chance of killing you.
By the way, I haven't forgotten to mention the Sobaks. They just haven't been in the book at all. Claudia hasn't heard from them since Mrs. Sobak ran out the door on the morning of the babysitting job.
First club meeting day since she's back! The girls are drawing all over her cast, and Kristy's piece made me genuinely laugh. Out loud. HARD. Even those I'm an atheist heathen. Dawn thinks it's mean, but it's truly, seriously the funniest thing to ever be in any of these books:
God made the rivers, God made the lakes, God made Claudia … well, we all make mistakes.
And they all laugh, except Mal, who declares autographs are dumb, and I can't snark that. I felt the same way when I was about her age, at a time I was public schooled, and my biggest fear was having a cast and no one signing it, or signing it with truly mean things. Signatures on a cast were a sign of popularity. Scary thought for unpopular kids.
They start talking dues, and oh snap, Claud owes dues from when she was in the hospital. Dawn says id Claud's broke, she can pay next week. Um, if she's broke now, how will she had money next week, since she can't work?
Raise your hand if you agree with me that, since her broken leg was an on-the-job injury that's going to make her miss some weeks of work, that paying dues should be her choice. I see those hands going up, even though I haven't hit "post" yet. I's smrt!
Claudia quickly tells them that she's afraid of hurting her arm or hand, and so wants to quit the club.
“Claudia!” everyone cried. “You can’t do that!”
Of course she can't. They need her phone!
Kristy glares, then tells her the accident wasn't because of babysitting, and when Claud says that it was, Kristy counters, “No. It was caused by Betsy Sobak. And not even on purpose. You know she didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Kristy? Shut up. Claud was worried about taking the job, and yes, Betsy meant for the swing to break. That's why she told Claud to sit there, and was waiting for something to happen. I'm sure she didn't think a broken bone would happen, but she sure as hell meant for Claudia to get hurt! I agree that this isn't a reason to quit the club, but wuit trying to downplay what a little brat did! No wonder she loves Karen so much.
Claud agrees to think about it while she's down from sitting.
OH SHIT, guess who has the fucking nerve to call! Yup Mrs. Sobak. She didn't call to apologize. She wants another sitter.
“Boy!” I exclaimed. “If I were Mrs. Sobak, I wouldn’t have the nerve to call us again. Her daughter nearly killed me.”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “She didn’t nearly kill you.”
Boy, Dawn, goibg back to your usual self? Sure, the chance of death was slight, but it's called hyperbole.
Mal is the only one who's seen Betsy's room, and she tells them about how it's full of prank crap. She also confirms that Mrs. Sobak is batshit crazy. Remember, she's met the bitch once, and that was after Claud's leg had broken. Any good parent would have been mad. Sobitch?
"I sort of got the impression that she doesn’t think Betsy misbehaves. She just thinks she’s kind of … well, she called her highspirited."
Right there. Mal confirms it for us. Betsy's mom is definitely criminally neglectful. She knows her daughter does this shit, doesn't punish her, and thinks it's cute. She and her husband should divorce, and Watson and Elizabeth should divorce. Sobitch and Watson should get married, and the two of them, with their demon-daughters, should be sent away to an island where there's swingset with one swing.
Mal offers to take one for the team (it's not like Kristy would allow them to turn down the job), and try to prank Betsy back since her mother won't do shit. Kristy whines, "Aww, how mean to the poor kid!" Since, for once, talking to the parents is worthless, I agree with Mal about trying to give the brat a taste of her own medicine, and hope it clicks in. Kristy praises Claud, and....just read:
"You were certainly patient with Betsy, Claud,” she said at last.
“Yeah, and look what she did to her,” Mallory chimed in.
You GO, Mal!! I had to double-check and make sure it was Mal who stood up to Kristy!
Oh, Kristy? Hey. Listen, you little dictator. When someone's concerned about taking a job since other sitters have quit on her, and that kid injures someone who's supposed to be your friend, and the brat's mother thinks she's precious for the shit she does, even after the injury, don't you dare keep defending the kid!
Mal wins, gets the job, and it's on.
Just for some foreshadowing, we're not-so-subtly time-skipped to after dinner. Ashley calls, Claud tells her she might quit (and calls it a mistake to have told her), and Ash gets excited since she knows art is important to Claud, and tells her to think of the classes she'll be able to fit in if she does!
The thought doesn't excite Claud.
But for some reason, that didn’t cheer me up. And that should have told me something. It didn’t, though. Not then. So I let it go by.
Where's the dramatic-look chipmunk when I need him? Here: Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNN! *look*
Chapter 10
Sitting-chapter! It'll probably be a relevant omniscient first-person-narrated third-person chapter since it's for Betsy. Mal paid the triplets to borrow some of their trick stuff. If you can call sneezing powder rentable reusable When I was a kid, we called that stuff...PEPPER.
For some reason, Kristy yanked the otebook away to write:
Hey, Mallory, remind me at our next meeting that we should pay you back the $1.50 “rental fee” from the treasury.
Or maybe you just remember, Kristy?
Mal later tells Claud that she was nervous going over there. Can't say that I blame her.
Betsy behaves during snack time, and actually asks about Claud. Mal keeps her eyes open, and won't even eat another cookie since she turned her back on them for just a moment, and doesn't trust Betsy.
What follows is what appears to be a nice bit of bondng over poetry they both know. Betsy said she'll get a poetry book her teacher assigned that's in the den, and Mal, lulled into a false sense of security, agrees she can get it. The doorbell rings while Betsy's supposed to be in the den, and Betsy said she'll get it.
She heard feet running through the hallway, followed by the sound of the front door opening. Then she heard Betsy talking to someone. And then she heard the door close… Silence.
Mal tried to be "sensible," about not hearing car doors open, and now seeing anyone outside, and concludes the hellbeast is hiding inside. Betsy isn't coming when ordered. Mal does a quick search of the house. Finally Betsy jumps out of a closet. Turns out the little monster rang the doorbell herself, and staged the whole thing.
Mal hides her anger, and gets the sneezing powder, which she says is a makeup powder. Betsy falls for it, and sneezes, and then uses her fake bloody tooth to make Mal think she sneezed that hard. The rest of the afternoon, they actually have fun playing genuinely harmless pranks. And Claud?
As a baby-sitter, Mal shouldn’t have been playing them on one of her charges. But Betsy shouldn’t have been playing jokes after what had happened to me.
Shut up, Claud. Mal took one for the team, and paid to do so.
Are you ready for more? Pick one:
TOO BAD! I tricked you! Here'e more:
You'll get through this. I promise. It's not as bad as Mallory's treatment in Mallory on Strike!
Chapter 6
Charlotte has a dad? I guess so, since he visited Claud in the hospital, where you can have as many visitors as you want whenever you want. It was never that way any of the many times I was there.
Claud managed to lose all my sympathy in one quick moment. Bitch snarked on her roommate.
I felt kind of bad for my roommate, Cathy, who had no visitors, but I knew why she had no visitors. Cathy was (I’m sorry, but this is the truth) a great big baby. She was fourteen, and she’d broken her elbow and had an operation on it. I guess it was a bad break, but every time a doctor or a nurse wanted to do anything to her, she’d scream and cry as if she were two years old. No one knew what to do about it. Her parents tried to spend time with her, but they couldn’t be at the hospital every second, and no friends came or called or sent flowers. I decided that this was because Cathy didn’t have any friends. I wouldn’t want to be friends with such a baby.
SHUT UP, you stupid bitch! Cathy had a BAD break and is in a lot of pain! You think a regular break is bad? Try shattering a joint bad enough to need surgery! You also don't know how the break happened. It could have been traumatizing. When I was 14, I had a handful of major surgeries. After my first one, more than the others, you bet I screamed and cried. I was scared of more PAIN. I was scard they'd find something that would require yet another procedure that would hurt me. All the downtime from those years of my life are why I love to be so active now, and why it's killing me that even walking is painful. It's hard being a kid in the hospital after surgery. It really is! So Claud can shut up.
Claud gives Cathy one of her many bouquets. This isn't altruistic.
Mr. Pike goes to get coffee with Mrs. Kishi, and leaves Mal in charge of Vanessa and Claire. Yeah. Jamie's there too. No, it makes no real sense. But since this is the BSC-verse, there's Pike-kids neglect. Claire's hungry, but has to wait until they get home to eat, even though her good-for-nothing dad went to the caf for what he wanted.
Mary Anne sneaks in with Tigger, and before you say that wouldn't happen, it can. My parents snuck my cat in several times when I was 20 (they put him in a duffel bag with the zipper open, and they held it open), and my vitals kept dipping. My awesome cat of awesomeness, who was 15 at the time and lived another almost-9 years, laid there like a stuffed cat, even when nurses came in. One of the nurses screamed when Yoda moved on visit. But since they realized my vitals stabilized when he was with me, the hospital okay'd his visits.
Since Claud gave Cathy flowers she was going to give away anyway, Cathy better not "blab" about Tigger being there.
Oh damn those morons. They lost Jamie. He was found in another kid's room. Can't blame him. He thought his role as a visitor is to visit people. Kristy failed. Yeah, she's there too. Claud gets in more jabs at Cathy. Cathy's like the Mal of this book.
Stacey calls, in a stroke of perfect timing since the BSC was all gone (and another jab at all the calls being for her and none for Cathy), and oh noez, Claud might drop out of the club since she could break an arm.
Chapter 7
I'm spared handwriting due to this being an "educational" ebook download. It's Jessi and Mary Anne though, in one of those entries where a couple girls wrestle the book back and forth. They're ticked that the Pike kids wouldn't behave, and that Mal took another sitting job, and so was unavailable to watch her own siblings, since apparently she doesn't do enough around the Pike place.
They get to the Hellhouse, and are "frightened out of their wits" by Margo yelling BOO.
Nicky shakes Mary Anne's hand with one of those totally conspicuous buzzers that never scared anyone. She, naturally, screas her head off.
For once, the Pikes tell the kids to behave, but we all know only Mal has consequences. Telling the brats to behave is like telling Niagra Falls to stop falling.
Jessi promptly falls for a massive rubber spider, and absolutely panics, and doesn't understand by Claire is laughing.
The girls fall for very single gag that never fooled anyone in the history of ever. There's no way to sum up how stupid those girls are.
Chapter 8
Claud's finally going home, and she credits DAWN with saving her life, food-wise, while she was in there. Dawn BROUGHT HER JUNK FOOD. Who is the alien being pretending to be Dawn? Can we keep it?
Seriously, for a minor break, they don't keep you in the hospital for a week. Insurance won't cover all hospital stays, such as those deemed totally unnecessary, and hospitals can't go after patients for the shortage. That's a part of accepting insurance. You have to take what they offer as payment in full. This is why some anesthesiologists, for instance, don't take insurance. They can bill the patient for the full rate, or they can take less from the insurance company as payment in full. Insurance (they decide which insurance to even take based on how much is paid--if your coverage isn't accepted somewhere, it's because your carrier doen't pay out enough) is a guaranteed payment, but if all patients paid up out of pocket, that would be more. Long story short? Claud's stay wasn't needed, the insurance can refuse to pay, and her parents won't be on the hook. I mentioned being a sick kid. I remember my parents having to fight the hospital to not release me at times when I needed to be there. One time I was in the middle of a blood transfusion when the hospital tried to trick us into a discharge. Concerns over not getting paid led a lot of hospitals to release CHILDREN who weren't entirely stable.
Guys, those memes about how insurance would let kids die is totally fucking true. And it's better now than it was then.
Claudia would NOT have been in the hospital just for traction when there are rentable and buyable traction devices for home-use for the cost of a few hours of being in the hospital.
No now she's home, and everyone but Mimi bolts. You guys, Mimi got Claudia a gift. A Nancy Drew book! Awwww, Mimi!
Claud's having serious PTSD over this, and I'm gonna snark it. She didn't fall off a house. She used bad judgement in trusting a kid who'd been pranking her and who she was warned about. The Sobaks aren't typical Stoneybrook parents since none of the others are quite criminal in this way. The chance of a repeat isn't likely. She wasn't nearly killed. It was an avoidable accident, but it's not the end of the world.
The phone rings, and it's her entire homeroom class, on speaker phone, and she get to talk to each one individually. The whole class was "dying to do this."
When I went to a private school, classes made entire art projects out of making me cards. Teachers and the principal visited. A lot of students visited. It was wonderful. It was a marked change from being in the hospital when I was in public schools. The type of connection is very different. I do not, for one second, believe kids who are in the default method of schooling were just dying to make a big class phone call, and then planned it out, and that her getting home happened to conveniently be during homeroom. A more appropriate class activity would be to write letters or cards, not to put kids on the spot to talk one-on-one with some random kid in class who had a minor injury.
Oh! Cute story-time! So when I was in 7th grade, I sprained my ankle, and so was out of school about a week and a half since my private school didn't have elevators, and my classrooms were on the second floor. When I got back to school the first day, as usual everyone was very kind, and my amazing classmates helped me get around. No one that school left anyone to their own devices when help was needed. And on the first day, I wa going up the stairs, fell, and...OMG, I still can feel the embarassment of my crush catching me. Yeah, I fell into my crush's arms. Imagine the horros I felt. He was sweet, but I was mortified.
Back to the crap that is this story.
Call ends, and Mimim brings breakfast. Waffles and bacon, OJ and tea. Well. I'm going to make some waffles now IRL. Back in a bit.
Proof:
I like to mush butter and fruit preserves together instead of using syrup. Blueberry today!
Claudia whines about how she's going to have all this physical therapy after her cast comes off in a few weeks, though she can start walking on it in one more week, and how she's scared to babysit again. I've known many people who've broken legs, from toddlers to adults, and the ONLY one who ever had to actually have an ongoing physical therapist, as in more than the doctor assigning some exercises when taking the cast off, is someone who actually had to have a rod used to set the break. Can anyone here, whose had a break needing a cast for about a month, confirm the use of ongoing physical therapy? I've never even heard of someone getting back on their feet as fast as her. Two weeks from break to walking without crutches.
Mimi reminds us why we love her. She very kindly but clearly, tells Claud to think it over and stop being a baby because she doesn't like that she can't control everything in life.
They watch Wheel of Fortune (ah, the days when you went "shopping" to pick out prizes instead of getting actual prize money), and then the obligatory I Love Lucy reference. Because of course.
Chapter 9
Yeah, Claudia's scared of injury, all right. She's not too happy that Mimi won't let her go up the stairs, using crutches, without someone with her. Mimi's concerned it could be dangerous. DAMN RIGHT it is. That's why I won't use crutches to go up the stairs, even though I'm not supposed to be walking at all! A fall down the stairs hasa much higher chance of killing you.
By the way, I haven't forgotten to mention the Sobaks. They just haven't been in the book at all. Claudia hasn't heard from them since Mrs. Sobak ran out the door on the morning of the babysitting job.
First club meeting day since she's back! The girls are drawing all over her cast, and Kristy's piece made me genuinely laugh. Out loud. HARD. Even those I'm an atheist heathen. Dawn thinks it's mean, but it's truly, seriously the funniest thing to ever be in any of these books:
God made the rivers, God made the lakes, God made Claudia … well, we all make mistakes.
And they all laugh, except Mal, who declares autographs are dumb, and I can't snark that. I felt the same way when I was about her age, at a time I was public schooled, and my biggest fear was having a cast and no one signing it, or signing it with truly mean things. Signatures on a cast were a sign of popularity. Scary thought for unpopular kids.
They start talking dues, and oh snap, Claud owes dues from when she was in the hospital. Dawn says id Claud's broke, she can pay next week. Um, if she's broke now, how will she had money next week, since she can't work?
Raise your hand if you agree with me that, since her broken leg was an on-the-job injury that's going to make her miss some weeks of work, that paying dues should be her choice. I see those hands going up, even though I haven't hit "post" yet. I's smrt!
Claudia quickly tells them that she's afraid of hurting her arm or hand, and so wants to quit the club.
“Claudia!” everyone cried. “You can’t do that!”
Of course she can't. They need her phone!
Kristy glares, then tells her the accident wasn't because of babysitting, and when Claud says that it was, Kristy counters, “No. It was caused by Betsy Sobak. And not even on purpose. You know she didn’t mean for that to happen.”
Kristy? Shut up. Claud was worried about taking the job, and yes, Betsy meant for the swing to break. That's why she told Claud to sit there, and was waiting for something to happen. I'm sure she didn't think a broken bone would happen, but she sure as hell meant for Claudia to get hurt! I agree that this isn't a reason to quit the club, but wuit trying to downplay what a little brat did! No wonder she loves Karen so much.
Claud agrees to think about it while she's down from sitting.
OH SHIT, guess who has the fucking nerve to call! Yup Mrs. Sobak. She didn't call to apologize. She wants another sitter.
“Boy!” I exclaimed. “If I were Mrs. Sobak, I wouldn’t have the nerve to call us again. Her daughter nearly killed me.”
Dawn rolled her eyes. “She didn’t nearly kill you.”
Boy, Dawn, goibg back to your usual self? Sure, the chance of death was slight, but it's called hyperbole.
Mal is the only one who's seen Betsy's room, and she tells them about how it's full of prank crap. She also confirms that Mrs. Sobak is batshit crazy. Remember, she's met the bitch once, and that was after Claud's leg had broken. Any good parent would have been mad. Sobitch?
"I sort of got the impression that she doesn’t think Betsy misbehaves. She just thinks she’s kind of … well, she called her highspirited."
Right there. Mal confirms it for us. Betsy's mom is definitely criminally neglectful. She knows her daughter does this shit, doesn't punish her, and thinks it's cute. She and her husband should divorce, and Watson and Elizabeth should divorce. Sobitch and Watson should get married, and the two of them, with their demon-daughters, should be sent away to an island where there's swingset with one swing.
Mal offers to take one for the team (it's not like Kristy would allow them to turn down the job), and try to prank Betsy back since her mother won't do shit. Kristy whines, "Aww, how mean to the poor kid!" Since, for once, talking to the parents is worthless, I agree with Mal about trying to give the brat a taste of her own medicine, and hope it clicks in. Kristy praises Claud, and....just read:
"You were certainly patient with Betsy, Claud,” she said at last.
“Yeah, and look what she did to her,” Mallory chimed in.
You GO, Mal!! I had to double-check and make sure it was Mal who stood up to Kristy!
Oh, Kristy? Hey. Listen, you little dictator. When someone's concerned about taking a job since other sitters have quit on her, and that kid injures someone who's supposed to be your friend, and the brat's mother thinks she's precious for the shit she does, even after the injury, don't you dare keep defending the kid!
Mal wins, gets the job, and it's on.
Just for some foreshadowing, we're not-so-subtly time-skipped to after dinner. Ashley calls, Claud tells her she might quit (and calls it a mistake to have told her), and Ash gets excited since she knows art is important to Claud, and tells her to think of the classes she'll be able to fit in if she does!
The thought doesn't excite Claud.
But for some reason, that didn’t cheer me up. And that should have told me something. It didn’t, though. Not then. So I let it go by.
Where's the dramatic-look chipmunk when I need him? Here: Dun dun DUUUUUNNNNN! *look*
Chapter 10
Sitting-chapter! It'll probably be a relevant omniscient first-person-narrated third-person chapter since it's for Betsy. Mal paid the triplets to borrow some of their trick stuff. If you can call sneezing powder rentable reusable When I was a kid, we called that stuff...PEPPER.
For some reason, Kristy yanked the otebook away to write:
Hey, Mallory, remind me at our next meeting that we should pay you back the $1.50 “rental fee” from the treasury.
Or maybe you just remember, Kristy?
Mal later tells Claud that she was nervous going over there. Can't say that I blame her.
Betsy behaves during snack time, and actually asks about Claud. Mal keeps her eyes open, and won't even eat another cookie since she turned her back on them for just a moment, and doesn't trust Betsy.
What follows is what appears to be a nice bit of bondng over poetry they both know. Betsy said she'll get a poetry book her teacher assigned that's in the den, and Mal, lulled into a false sense of security, agrees she can get it. The doorbell rings while Betsy's supposed to be in the den, and Betsy said she'll get it.
She heard feet running through the hallway, followed by the sound of the front door opening. Then she heard Betsy talking to someone. And then she heard the door close… Silence.
Mal tried to be "sensible," about not hearing car doors open, and now seeing anyone outside, and concludes the hellbeast is hiding inside. Betsy isn't coming when ordered. Mal does a quick search of the house. Finally Betsy jumps out of a closet. Turns out the little monster rang the doorbell herself, and staged the whole thing.
Mal hides her anger, and gets the sneezing powder, which she says is a makeup powder. Betsy falls for it, and sneezes, and then uses her fake bloody tooth to make Mal think she sneezed that hard. The rest of the afternoon, they actually have fun playing genuinely harmless pranks. And Claud?
As a baby-sitter, Mal shouldn’t have been playing them on one of her charges. But Betsy shouldn’t have been playing jokes after what had happened to me.
Shut up, Claud. Mal took one for the team, and paid to do so.