BSC SUPER SPECIAL: #5 CALIFORNIA GIRLS!!! OR WHAT THE BSC DID ON THEIR VACATION!!! PART 1!!!
BSC SUPER SPECIAL: #5 CALIFORNIA GIRLS!!! OR WHAT THE BSC DID ON THEIR VACATION!!! PART 1!!!
Good afternoon, my fellow snarkers!! First off, Happy St. Patty’s day to those that celebrate it!! Be safe and have fun today and tonight!! Second, thank you all for the anniversary wishes to me and my husband!! We both thank you so much for them!!!!
Thankfully, the snow is melting in front of my house and it turns out not only do I now have a lawn, but flowerpots as well!! Can’t wait for spring!!!
That being said, let’s not waste only more time, and dive right into this craziness!!
Cover:
The Cult is on the beach, chillaxing in the sun. Dawn and K-Ron are playing with a beach ball, Dawn wearing a black and yellow bathing suit, looking like the goddamn bee girl in that Blind Melon video.
K-Ron is in a blue suit, ho hum.
Mary Anne’s got her body armor on, because she burns like a fucking lobster. At least this time, it looks like she’s putting on sunscreen, stupid bitch didn’t last time and burned her ass up. Mal and Jessi actually look cute, especially Mal in her red suit. They don’t even look eleven OR dorky here, was Ann on vacation or something?
Then we have Stacey, in a small ass pink bikini. That she fails to fill out nicely on top. Which proves she’s a dirty liar.
Prologue:
Dawn gets the first chapter, because she is the REAL California Girl. Best not forget that shit. She says that the Cult chipped in and bought tickets for the ‘Jack-O’-Lottery’, because it’s now TWENTY-THREE MILLION DOLLARS!!! OMG!!! Remember when that was considered a huge amount of money, now the lotto can go up to like five hundred million and then everyone loses their shit. Then somebody wins that already has a great job and owns two homes and is out of debt. You never see someone win that lives in a one room apartment in the Bronx with ten other people?
The Cult has a sleepover the night of the drawing and after K-Ron beasting at the new anchor some, we get the numbers. Apparently the Cult doesn’t win the twenty-three million, however they do win TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! Of course they do, they have better fucking luck than the bitches do in ‘Sex and the City’.
They decide to use the money to take a vacay to California, because SMS is having ANOTHER two week break. Whatever, I don’t care. And of course they get to go, because of course.
So to recap so far:
1. Five thirteen year olds and two eleven year olds are not only allowed to send their money on lotto,
2. They not only win ten thousand dollars,
3. They are not only able to keep all of their money and not have to put ANY OF IT AWAY FOR COLLEGE,
4. They get to go to California by themselves. And stay with Dawn’s dad. For two weeks. And have 1,428.57 each. Because taxes don’t exist here.
Bullshit.
If that had happened to me at that age, you can bet your snarky asses I would have to put most, if not ALL in the bank or something. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH, YOU GIVE FOURTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS TO TEENAGERS AND PRETEENS!!! YOU ASSHOLE PARENTS DESERVE WHAT YOU FUCKING GET, ESPECAILLY MAL’S!!! LET HER BLEACHED BLONDE ASS BE ON YOUR HEAD!!! DICKS!
Chapter 1:
Unfortunely, we have to continue with Dawn’s narration. Swell. Dawn and Mary Anne are going to the Cult meeting, but Mary Anne almost makes them late because she was packing already. With a week to go. On the one hand, that seems stupid because you’re eventually going to need the crap you packed already, and on the other that’s smart to be prepared. I’m kind of in the middle myself, lazy to a point and prepared when I need to be.
That leads us into the usual bullshit about the Cult history and Cult biographies. And I don’t care. It’s the goddamn, motherfucking FIFTH SUPER SPECIAL!!! YOUR READERS KNOW THIS ALREADY ANN!!! THIS IS NOT THE BOOK THAT KICKSTARTED THE SERIES!!! I SWEAR ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THIS:
Because Dawn just had to have a freakin Doug Funnie moment, they arrive late to the meeting. K-Ron greases the flog and administers the beating and afterwards Dawn talks about all the shit they can do in California. Which must send Stacey into a tizzy, because NY IS THE MECCA OF EVERYTHING!!! But, alas nothing is mentioned about NY. L Dawn just mentions that they can go to Hollywood and Mary Anne is described as ‘absolutely gooey over big cities and movie stars’. EWWWWWWWWWW…. WHAT KINDA SICK TWISTED FUCK IS ANN, WRITING ABOUT A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL BEING ‘GOOEY’? WHO EVEN SAYS THE WORD ‘GOOEY’? EWWWW…. I NEED A SHOWER. A HOT ONE. AND A STRONG DRINK.
KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME CHIVAS REGAL.
Chapter 2:
We get a postcard from Jessi to Becca and Squirt. Jessi’s on the plane and YOU JUST LEFT BITCH! WHAT POSSIBLE THINGS HAVE YOU SEEN ON THE PLANE THAT THE WEE ONES NEED TO KNOW? DID MARY ANNE GET ‘GOOEY’ AGAIN? AND AFTER HEARING ABOUT MARY ANNE’S ‘GOOEYNESS’, THE NAME SQUIRT SENDS MY MIND RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING GUTTER, YOU SICK FUCK WRITER!!!
Anyway, they get on the plane and it’s a huge fucker; nine seats across. The Cult gets to take over almost all nine seats, with Claudia at the window, vowing to let everyone take a turn so they can see. And see what, I have no fucking clue. You can’t see shit from a window seat, except clouds mostly. And I’m sure the flight attendants fucking LOVED that; constant seat switching from seven twats. No, make that six twats, Mary Anne is too scared to sit by the window. Fuck you wuss, I am freaking TERRIFIED of heights, ESPECIALLY flying and I STILL want to sit by the window so if the fucker starts to go down, I’m the first one to fucking know. Because you the pilot’s not going to tell you until the last minute.
Mary Anne is so paranoid, she makes everyone buckle up right away, and shit, I do that too. I also cross myself when the plane takes off and again when it lands. I’m paranoid that way. The girls busy themselves taking out their jackets and things. Dawn grabs a blanket and fucking EWWW… but then again it’s fucking DAWN here people. That would be funny as fuck for her ass to find something freakin nasty on her blankie. Mary Anne and Claudia get nasty pillows and Stacey for SOME REASON wants her boarding pass and YOU DON’T FUCKING NEED IT ON THE PLANE, BLONDE NIMROD!!!
Everyone finally settles down, to the fucking joy of everyone else in the plane. I swear traveling anywhere with these cunts must be like this:please shut up indeed. Mal asks if anyone wants to play Hangman and Good God, didn’t anyone bring anything to fucking do on the plane? This is a fucking SIX, SEVEN hour flight, bring some books or card games, for fuck’s sake. Stacey gets happy that they get to see a movie on the flight, and wonders which one. The flight attendant tells them, ‘Vertigo’ by Hitchcock. WHAT THE FUCK? WHY NOT HOME ALONE OR THE RESCUERS OR VIRTUALLY ANYTHING ELSE? DOES ANN THINK THIS IS FUCKING ‘PLEASENTVILLE’ OR SOMETHING? I flew to Florida with my family in like ’95 and they showed us ‘D2: The Mighty Ducks’ on the way there and ‘The Flintstones Movie’ on the way back. Now we got airlines with personal TV’s in the seats. Last time I went to Florida, me and my husband spent both plane rides watching like three hours of ‘Married…with Children’. Best.Flight.Ever.
The plane finally gets its wings in the air and Mary Anne grips the seat rest and fuck, I do that too. I can’t snark that. What I can is Mary Anne exclaiming that she’s afraid of the plane crashing and if she pulled that shit today, the motherfucking air marshals would have her face down on the floor so fast, Stacey’s slutty ass would be jealous. Mal asks Jessi AGAIN to play Hangman and in further proof that Ann hates her, Jessi turns her down. Because it’s not like one of the sitters KNOWN for fucking reading would bring books on a flight, that’s crazy talk.
The flight attendant comes around with lunch, and damn I never got fucking meals on a plane. I think once I got sandwiches. The other times, like cookies and soda. These bitches get a choice between chicken and spaghetti and I bet you that spaghetti tasted like ass. Probably egg noodles and ketchup. And I think Ann and the editors must have been smoking the good shit again, because Dawn, the vegetarian, animal rights activist and all ‘round bitcher, gets the fucking chicken. EHHH,…..BULLSHIT!!! THIS BITCH DOESN’T EAT FUCKING MEAT, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF HER DAMN CHARACTER!! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DIDN’T HAVE A WHOLE SERIES OF BOOKS, MOVIES, TVSHOWS, AND GAMES AT THIS POINT, ANN!!! AND THE GODDAMN ‘BSC BIBLE’ YOU MENTIONED AS HOLDING ALL THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE BSC, TO KEEP ALL THE INFO AT YOUR FINGERTIPS WHEN YOU OR THE GHOSTWRITERS SHIT OUT ONE OF THESE FUCKING BOOKS!!! GODDAMN WOMAN, GET IT TOGETHER!!!
The girls are in wonderment on how everything is packaged and Jessi says that the First Class people get real plates, silverware and napkins and the girls wish they had enough money to splurge for First Class Seats and thank fuck they didn’t, because there’s only so much bullshit a snarker can take. As the girls eat, they start shouting back and forth to each other and once again, air marshals would be all up their asses today for that shit. I dunno what’s worse; them, the dumbass daughters on ‘Full House’ going to Auckland as stowaways, or the Conners doing the same thing as the BSC on ‘Roseanne.’ I have no patience for assholes like this and I would have probably been in a fight for telling them to shut the fuck up.
The club talk about what they want to do, and Claudia wants to go to Knott’s Berry Farm which dumbass Jessi thinks is a berry farm, but jokes on her. It’s an amusement park. Jessi says she wants to go to Hollywood and the wax museum, Mal wants to go to star’s homes and K-Ron wants a sports hall of fame. We also get the requisite ‘I Love Lucy’ mention when they bring up Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. Jessi asks to go to the San Diego Zoo, but Dawn shuts that shit down saying that it’s too fucking far. Dunno why they couldn’t go to another zoo, but whatever.
Mary Anne is all, ‘We’re going to Hollywood, right?’ because she’ll straight cut a bitch if the answers no. She also has pamphlets and shit about all the attractions; and starts praising Hollywood. There’s the Universal Studios tour, Walk of Fame, Beverly Hills, gardens, museums and more. As much as I like to be prepared, bitch needs to be cool.
After many hours, they land and since the mini-fashionistas packed so many goddamn clothes, they have to wait almost an hour. When they get to Dawn’s, Jessi says that she has to call Derek Masters, the child star that they all know and I really don’t care about. Dawn meets her father’s girlfriend, Carol and Carol doesn’t run for her life as she should. Jessi is allowed to visit Derek on set and fuck you, you ain’t special bitch. I love how these twats act like complete assholes when they met someone remotely famous and I can name more famous people that I myself and others have met, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL!! UNLESS HE’S PERMENTLY PART OF YOUR LIFE, IT’S NOTHING!!! DUMBASS!!!
Chapter 3:
K-Ron writes a postcard to her ENTIRE family, dunno why she didn’t just put ‘To All’ or something but whatever. I don’t care.
The Cult sleeps late to account for all the hours of travel time, and I don’t blame them. It’s a bitch traveling. Dawn asks what they want to do, and they rather hang out at home. Well, holy shit. They’re actually acting like real fucking teenagers.
During bunch, Sunny calls and invites the Cult to meet the California Casual version of the Cult and everyone agree
s.
The girls go over after lunch and K-Ron’s fucking attack mode gets flipped up and she bitches that she invented babysitting clubs and that she fucking knows best. AND YOU DIDN’T INVENT SHIT, YOU DUMB COW!!! AND YOU KNOW NOTHING, K-RON!!
They get to Sunny’s house and met the girls who I don’t care about, but if you do; there’s the Hot Topic one, Maggie; the Hippie one, Sunny; and Jill, who has no defining characteristics at all. K-Ron wants to know why the President doesn’t have a throne made out of the bones of the fallen members of the Babysitters Agency. Sunny tells her that they don’t use officers, everyone there is equal, a concept unknown to K-Ron. Jill tells her that they also don’t have a club notebook, because they actually TALK about their jobs and they commit to memory anything unusual. Another baffling notion for K-Ron. The California Casual Cult DOES have a record book and Kid-Kits, but no flogging or laced Kool-Aid.
K-Ron’s about ready to cut a bitch when Maggie asks what happens when they can’t take a job and K-Ron mentions the other tokens; Shannon the other blonde, and Logan the unlikely. The CCult gets a call from Mr. Robertson to sit for his daughter Stephie and unfourtnely none of the other members can take it. Sunny asks if any of the BSC can take the job and I would have been so pissed to be asked to babysit on my vacation, but we all know every Super Special has to involve babysitting at some fucking point. Mary Anne takes the job and K-Ron shits a fucking brick at the disrespect shown to the first BSC. She’s pissed that the CCult have no set meeting times and that there a sorry excuse for a club and since we already that’s going to bite the CCult in the ass late, K-Ron can kiss my ass too.
Sunny tells Mary Anne that Stephie has asthma and takes pills, plus uses n inhalator. And if you think Mary Anne won’t react over the top over this, you obviously don’t belong here. Before the meeting is over, they get another call for two boys Erick and Ryan and everyone moans and groans because the boys are such evil bastards. Yea, but Karen’s a fucking gem?
K-Ron takes the job and vows to show those California bitches how babysitting is done, while they laugh their fucking asses off at what’s going to happen.
And since is long enough, I’m gonna stop here. Thank you all for reading and commenting! More will be up soon, I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for the anniversary comments again!!
P.S. Fellow snarker design_star_21 says that Dancing with the Stars is having a thing where you can tweet a song choice that the winning song will be danced too next week. We both chose ‘Top That’ from Teen Witch, because we’re both HUGE fans of the movie. Please help us make the dream a reality, just tweet the song title to #My JamMonday on the DWTS page on Twitter and thank you!!
PPS. - I also now have a Twitter: Tweet me https://twitter.com/bleeding_thorn2 Thank you!!
Good afternoon, my fellow snarkers!! First off, Happy St. Patty’s day to those that celebrate it!! Be safe and have fun today and tonight!! Second, thank you all for the anniversary wishes to me and my husband!! We both thank you so much for them!!!!
Thankfully, the snow is melting in front of my house and it turns out not only do I now have a lawn, but flowerpots as well!! Can’t wait for spring!!!
That being said, let’s not waste only more time, and dive right into this craziness!!
Cover:
The Cult is on the beach, chillaxing in the sun. Dawn and K-Ron are playing with a beach ball, Dawn wearing a black and yellow bathing suit, looking like the goddamn bee girl in that Blind Melon video.
K-Ron is in a blue suit, ho hum.
Mary Anne’s got her body armor on, because she burns like a fucking lobster. At least this time, it looks like she’s putting on sunscreen, stupid bitch didn’t last time and burned her ass up. Mal and Jessi actually look cute, especially Mal in her red suit. They don’t even look eleven OR dorky here, was Ann on vacation or something?
Then we have Stacey, in a small ass pink bikini. That she fails to fill out nicely on top. Which proves she’s a dirty liar.
Prologue:
Dawn gets the first chapter, because she is the REAL California Girl. Best not forget that shit. She says that the Cult chipped in and bought tickets for the ‘Jack-O’-Lottery’, because it’s now TWENTY-THREE MILLION DOLLARS!!! OMG!!! Remember when that was considered a huge amount of money, now the lotto can go up to like five hundred million and then everyone loses their shit. Then somebody wins that already has a great job and owns two homes and is out of debt. You never see someone win that lives in a one room apartment in the Bronx with ten other people?
The Cult has a sleepover the night of the drawing and after K-Ron beasting at the new anchor some, we get the numbers. Apparently the Cult doesn’t win the twenty-three million, however they do win TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! Of course they do, they have better fucking luck than the bitches do in ‘Sex and the City’.
They decide to use the money to take a vacay to California, because SMS is having ANOTHER two week break. Whatever, I don’t care. And of course they get to go, because of course.
So to recap so far:
1. Five thirteen year olds and two eleven year olds are not only allowed to send their money on lotto,
2. They not only win ten thousand dollars,
3. They are not only able to keep all of their money and not have to put ANY OF IT AWAY FOR COLLEGE,
4. They get to go to California by themselves. And stay with Dawn’s dad. For two weeks. And have 1,428.57 each. Because taxes don’t exist here.
Bullshit.
If that had happened to me at that age, you can bet your snarky asses I would have to put most, if not ALL in the bank or something. THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY ON GOD’S GREEN EARTH, YOU GIVE FOURTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS TO TEENAGERS AND PRETEENS!!! YOU ASSHOLE PARENTS DESERVE WHAT YOU FUCKING GET, ESPECAILLY MAL’S!!! LET HER BLEACHED BLONDE ASS BE ON YOUR HEAD!!! DICKS!
Chapter 1:
Unfortunely, we have to continue with Dawn’s narration. Swell. Dawn and Mary Anne are going to the Cult meeting, but Mary Anne almost makes them late because she was packing already. With a week to go. On the one hand, that seems stupid because you’re eventually going to need the crap you packed already, and on the other that’s smart to be prepared. I’m kind of in the middle myself, lazy to a point and prepared when I need to be.
That leads us into the usual bullshit about the Cult history and Cult biographies. And I don’t care. It’s the goddamn, motherfucking FIFTH SUPER SPECIAL!!! YOUR READERS KNOW THIS ALREADY ANN!!! THIS IS NOT THE BOOK THAT KICKSTARTED THE SERIES!!! I SWEAR ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THIS:
Click to viewBecause Dawn just had to have a freakin Doug Funnie moment, they arrive late to the meeting. K-Ron greases the flog and administers the beating and afterwards Dawn talks about all the shit they can do in California. Which must send Stacey into a tizzy, because NY IS THE MECCA OF EVERYTHING!!! But, alas nothing is mentioned about NY. L Dawn just mentions that they can go to Hollywood and Mary Anne is described as ‘absolutely gooey over big cities and movie stars’. EWWWWWWWWWW…. WHAT KINDA SICK TWISTED FUCK IS ANN, WRITING ABOUT A THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL BEING ‘GOOEY’? WHO EVEN SAYS THE WORD ‘GOOEY’? EWWWW…. I NEED A SHOWER. A HOT ONE. AND A STRONG DRINK.
KNEW I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SOME CHIVAS REGAL.
Chapter 2:
We get a postcard from Jessi to Becca and Squirt. Jessi’s on the plane and YOU JUST LEFT BITCH! WHAT POSSIBLE THINGS HAVE YOU SEEN ON THE PLANE THAT THE WEE ONES NEED TO KNOW? DID MARY ANNE GET ‘GOOEY’ AGAIN? AND AFTER HEARING ABOUT MARY ANNE’S ‘GOOEYNESS’, THE NAME SQUIRT SENDS MY MIND RIGHT INTO THE FUCKING GUTTER, YOU SICK FUCK WRITER!!!
Anyway, they get on the plane and it’s a huge fucker; nine seats across. The Cult gets to take over almost all nine seats, with Claudia at the window, vowing to let everyone take a turn so they can see. And see what, I have no fucking clue. You can’t see shit from a window seat, except clouds mostly. And I’m sure the flight attendants fucking LOVED that; constant seat switching from seven twats. No, make that six twats, Mary Anne is too scared to sit by the window. Fuck you wuss, I am freaking TERRIFIED of heights, ESPECIALLY flying and I STILL want to sit by the window so if the fucker starts to go down, I’m the first one to fucking know. Because you the pilot’s not going to tell you until the last minute.
Mary Anne is so paranoid, she makes everyone buckle up right away, and shit, I do that too. I also cross myself when the plane takes off and again when it lands. I’m paranoid that way. The girls busy themselves taking out their jackets and things. Dawn grabs a blanket and fucking EWWW… but then again it’s fucking DAWN here people. That would be funny as fuck for her ass to find something freakin nasty on her blankie. Mary Anne and Claudia get nasty pillows and Stacey for SOME REASON wants her boarding pass and YOU DON’T FUCKING NEED IT ON THE PLANE, BLONDE NIMROD!!!
Everyone finally settles down, to the fucking joy of everyone else in the plane. I swear traveling anywhere with these cunts must be like this:please shut up indeed. Mal asks if anyone wants to play Hangman and Good God, didn’t anyone bring anything to fucking do on the plane? This is a fucking SIX, SEVEN hour flight, bring some books or card games, for fuck’s sake. Stacey gets happy that they get to see a movie on the flight, and wonders which one. The flight attendant tells them, ‘Vertigo’ by Hitchcock. WHAT THE FUCK? WHY NOT HOME ALONE OR THE RESCUERS OR VIRTUALLY ANYTHING ELSE? DOES ANN THINK THIS IS FUCKING ‘PLEASENTVILLE’ OR SOMETHING? I flew to Florida with my family in like ’95 and they showed us ‘D2: The Mighty Ducks’ on the way there and ‘The Flintstones Movie’ on the way back. Now we got airlines with personal TV’s in the seats. Last time I went to Florida, me and my husband spent both plane rides watching like three hours of ‘Married…with Children’. Best.Flight.Ever.
The plane finally gets its wings in the air and Mary Anne grips the seat rest and fuck, I do that too. I can’t snark that. What I can is Mary Anne exclaiming that she’s afraid of the plane crashing and if she pulled that shit today, the motherfucking air marshals would have her face down on the floor so fast, Stacey’s slutty ass would be jealous. Mal asks Jessi AGAIN to play Hangman and in further proof that Ann hates her, Jessi turns her down. Because it’s not like one of the sitters KNOWN for fucking reading would bring books on a flight, that’s crazy talk.
The flight attendant comes around with lunch, and damn I never got fucking meals on a plane. I think once I got sandwiches. The other times, like cookies and soda. These bitches get a choice between chicken and spaghetti and I bet you that spaghetti tasted like ass. Probably egg noodles and ketchup. And I think Ann and the editors must have been smoking the good shit again, because Dawn, the vegetarian, animal rights activist and all ‘round bitcher, gets the fucking chicken. EHHH,…..BULLSHIT!!! THIS BITCH DOESN’T EAT FUCKING MEAT, THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF HER DAMN CHARACTER!! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU DIDN’T HAVE A WHOLE SERIES OF BOOKS, MOVIES, TVSHOWS, AND GAMES AT THIS POINT, ANN!!! AND THE GODDAMN ‘BSC BIBLE’ YOU MENTIONED AS HOLDING ALL THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE BSC, TO KEEP ALL THE INFO AT YOUR FINGERTIPS WHEN YOU OR THE GHOSTWRITERS SHIT OUT ONE OF THESE FUCKING BOOKS!!! GODDAMN WOMAN, GET IT TOGETHER!!!
The girls are in wonderment on how everything is packaged and Jessi says that the First Class people get real plates, silverware and napkins and the girls wish they had enough money to splurge for First Class Seats and thank fuck they didn’t, because there’s only so much bullshit a snarker can take. As the girls eat, they start shouting back and forth to each other and once again, air marshals would be all up their asses today for that shit. I dunno what’s worse; them, the dumbass daughters on ‘Full House’ going to Auckland as stowaways, or the Conners doing the same thing as the BSC on ‘Roseanne.’ I have no patience for assholes like this and I would have probably been in a fight for telling them to shut the fuck up.
The club talk about what they want to do, and Claudia wants to go to Knott’s Berry Farm which dumbass Jessi thinks is a berry farm, but jokes on her. It’s an amusement park. Jessi says she wants to go to Hollywood and the wax museum, Mal wants to go to star’s homes and K-Ron wants a sports hall of fame. We also get the requisite ‘I Love Lucy’ mention when they bring up Grauman’s Chinese Theatre. Jessi asks to go to the San Diego Zoo, but Dawn shuts that shit down saying that it’s too fucking far. Dunno why they couldn’t go to another zoo, but whatever.
Mary Anne is all, ‘We’re going to Hollywood, right?’ because she’ll straight cut a bitch if the answers no. She also has pamphlets and shit about all the attractions; and starts praising Hollywood. There’s the Universal Studios tour, Walk of Fame, Beverly Hills, gardens, museums and more. As much as I like to be prepared, bitch needs to be cool.
After many hours, they land and since the mini-fashionistas packed so many goddamn clothes, they have to wait almost an hour. When they get to Dawn’s, Jessi says that she has to call Derek Masters, the child star that they all know and I really don’t care about. Dawn meets her father’s girlfriend, Carol and Carol doesn’t run for her life as she should. Jessi is allowed to visit Derek on set and fuck you, you ain’t special bitch. I love how these twats act like complete assholes when they met someone remotely famous and I can name more famous people that I myself and others have met, IT’S NOT A BIG DEAL!! UNLESS HE’S PERMENTLY PART OF YOUR LIFE, IT’S NOTHING!!! DUMBASS!!!
Chapter 3:
K-Ron writes a postcard to her ENTIRE family, dunno why she didn’t just put ‘To All’ or something but whatever. I don’t care.
The Cult sleeps late to account for all the hours of travel time, and I don’t blame them. It’s a bitch traveling. Dawn asks what they want to do, and they rather hang out at home. Well, holy shit. They’re actually acting like real fucking teenagers.
During bunch, Sunny calls and invites the Cult to meet the California Casual version of the Cult and everyone agree
s.
The girls go over after lunch and K-Ron’s fucking attack mode gets flipped up and she bitches that she invented babysitting clubs and that she fucking knows best. AND YOU DIDN’T INVENT SHIT, YOU DUMB COW!!! AND YOU KNOW NOTHING, K-RON!!
They get to Sunny’s house and met the girls who I don’t care about, but if you do; there’s the Hot Topic one, Maggie; the Hippie one, Sunny; and Jill, who has no defining characteristics at all. K-Ron wants to know why the President doesn’t have a throne made out of the bones of the fallen members of the Babysitters Agency. Sunny tells her that they don’t use officers, everyone there is equal, a concept unknown to K-Ron. Jill tells her that they also don’t have a club notebook, because they actually TALK about their jobs and they commit to memory anything unusual. Another baffling notion for K-Ron. The California Casual Cult DOES have a record book and Kid-Kits, but no flogging or laced Kool-Aid.
K-Ron’s about ready to cut a bitch when Maggie asks what happens when they can’t take a job and K-Ron mentions the other tokens; Shannon the other blonde, and Logan the unlikely. The CCult gets a call from Mr. Robertson to sit for his daughter Stephie and unfourtnely none of the other members can take it. Sunny asks if any of the BSC can take the job and I would have been so pissed to be asked to babysit on my vacation, but we all know every Super Special has to involve babysitting at some fucking point. Mary Anne takes the job and K-Ron shits a fucking brick at the disrespect shown to the first BSC. She’s pissed that the CCult have no set meeting times and that there a sorry excuse for a club and since we already that’s going to bite the CCult in the ass late, K-Ron can kiss my ass too.
Sunny tells Mary Anne that Stephie has asthma and takes pills, plus uses n inhalator. And if you think Mary Anne won’t react over the top over this, you obviously don’t belong here. Before the meeting is over, they get another call for two boys Erick and Ryan and everyone moans and groans because the boys are such evil bastards. Yea, but Karen’s a fucking gem?
K-Ron takes the job and vows to show those California bitches how babysitting is done, while they laugh their fucking asses off at what’s going to happen.
And since is long enough, I’m gonna stop here. Thank you all for reading and commenting! More will be up soon, I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for the anniversary comments again!!
P.S. Fellow snarker design_star_21 says that Dancing with the Stars is having a thing where you can tweet a song choice that the winning song will be danced too next week. We both chose ‘Top That’ from Teen Witch, because we’re both HUGE fans of the movie. Please help us make the dream a reality, just tweet the song title to #My JamMonday on the DWTS page on Twitter and thank you!!
PPS. - I also now have a Twitter: Tweet me https://twitter.com/bleeding_thorn2 Thank you!!