#76 Stacey's Lie (aka BSC and the City): Part I (Chapters 1-4)
I'm on a mission to read all the BSC books I missed the first time around and thanks to e-books and my Kindle, I got the hookup.
I've been reading a lot of Claudia's books and have come to realize that she's my favorite character, something I did not anticipate from my younger self who was more of a Kristy fan. Another intriguing turn of events was my newfound hatred for Stacey (and Dawn, but that's saved for another snark). I didn't mind her all that much initially, but reading these books again as a grown-up has made me hate her most out of all the baby-sitters.
In the spirit of this hateboner I decided to find a book where Stacey is especially bitchy so I can go nuts. Stacey's Lie seems to fit the bill, so here we go.
As I went deep into my reading of this one, I got serious parallels between Carrie Bradshaw and Stacey. Beware of tangents inspired by Sex and the City.
But first, the cover:
I chose the updated cover because the pictures are the same between the old and new versions of this book. The caption says "if her father ever finds out…" which sounds downright menacing, like he'll kick Robert's ass for defiling his precious little girl. Or at least be one of those passive-aggressive dads who make jokes about cleaning their shotguns when their daughters bring their dates over to meet the 'rents.
Stacey is wearing a rather tame, beach-appropriate outfit with her pink crop top and flowing flowery skirt. Nothing wild here. She and her beau walk along a beach at sunset with sailboats drifting by.
I suppose this accurately describes events from the book, but on my initial read-through of this one I remember them being on a boat more than walking on the beach. I guess we'll just have to find out!
Chapter 1
The book opens with a phone dialogue between Stacey and her dad. She's about to go up to NYC to see her father and he'll allow his 13-year-old daughter to take a cab in Manhattan all alone. I don't care if this is a perpetually frozen 1980s world, letting a teen girl take transit alone in a major city is an incredibly stupid idea.
Stacey's mom has got it goin' on in her beige blazer, and the two McGill ladies chat about work, school, and life after the elder arrives home. The convo derails after Stacey mentions her pops was on the phone, which is understandable for a divorced couple. For years my parents couldn't mention the other without World War III breaking out.
Stacey's visitation plans with her got switched around slightly, and all Stacey can think about is how her plans with Robert (her steady boyfriend) need to be re-arranged. She thinks about her dad enough to spend Father's Day with him in NYC.
Stacey's mom snarks about her dad, calling him a workaholic and emotionally unavailable in a passive-aggressive way, all the while donning a fabulous purple and gold striped apron to prepare dinner. I'm going to need that apron, thanks.
Stacey leaves the parental aggression behind for her pre-algebra homework. I have to say I'd rather deal with my parents and their divorce drama than do math homework, but that’s because I hate math with the fire of a thousand suns. Stacey loves it. She also has diabetes, which she reminds us over the course of about for paragraphs. Her mom made lemon tarragon chicken which sounds boss. They chat some more about work and the animal print coats that arrived at Bellair's department store. Stacey says those coats are cool, but mom disagrees. I am loath to admit I agree with Stacey on this one.
I guess there are some blessings in Stacey books: outfit descriptions! There are two (!) in this chapter alone:
Blue tights, black canvas walking shorts, a long-sleeved, blue T-shirt, and a pair of black flats
There's also a blue stretchie hair tie which may or may not be a scrunchie. Carrie Bradshaw is possibly appalled.
Everything that is old is new again, because I see girls walking around my 'hood wearing tights under shorts year round. The joys of being a townie living near a college campus.
But that look is all wrong. The darker color palette, the thicker materials, even the scrunchie. Stacey says it's summer and therefore she's in need of an outfit change:
One-piece shorts dress with gold, red, and green Aztec-style print. And a pair of light tan woven flats
The scrunchie was never heard from again.
Shorts dress? Does she mean like a romper or playsuit?
Mom also changed outfits, opting for a blouse with a bow over a black gabardine pants suit. For the career mom on the go, it's no pants, no problem!
Stacey has to remind us of the housing merry go round that resulted from her move away from Stoneybrook. Jessi got her old house. Claudia's her best friend. Mary Anne, Mallory, and Jessi walk to school with Stacey. Robert is at her locker when she arrives at school.
She describes him as "simply adorable" although not model-gorgeous like Jason Priestly, and again I hate myself for agreeing with her. Jason Priestly was my first legit crush and he got pre-teen me all hot and bothered.
Although I'm not sure about that shirt.
Robert mentions that his family has a vacay home on Fire Island and that he got a job on a ferry out there and that he'll be gone for two months. He's leaving as soon as school ends for the year and Stacey is severely bummed out. Not because her cute, young boyfriend is going out to Fire Island and might forget all about her among other cute, young boys.
Suddenly Stacey is Carrie Bradshaw. After all, she got rid of the scrunchie.
This turn of events throws a huge wrench into Stacey's summer plans with Robert and she ends the chapter wondering if she could cancel on her dad for Father's Day.
Chapter 2
Rather quickly we discover that no, Stacey didn't cancel on her dad. Of course not! She doesn't become a selfish ho until later in the book.
On the train ride up to NYC she reminisces over her recent date with Robert: ping-pong, a craft fair, bike riding, lunch, and kissing! That sounds like a good date to me, but I'm a boring old engaged lady who's just happy to get a few hours with my fiancé due to crazy ass work hours for both of us.
Stacey tells us that NYC is a million times better than Stoneybrook and I have to agree. I grew up in suburbia and now I live in an urban area in Northern California and I have to say I'll never go back to the 'burbs, for all the reasons that Stacey lists.
Stacey's dad meets her at the train station and she's all "eeeeeeewwww Daaaaaaaad" embarrassed and shit, but secretly she's digging it. Her dad is dressed causally and was working from home that day.
Dad walks her to a cab and they bicker about allowing a teen girl to hail a cab on her own. They ride to the apartment, where her dad waves money at her to get her out of the house, to buy a few hours to "catch up on work," possibly foreshadowing the bombshell he'll drop later in the book. He has a surprise in the works and that, plus the money, is enough to get Stacey moving.
She buys a new outfit at the urging of her dad: a super cute flowing pants outfit in a sunflower print against a navy blue background. It had a high waist, cap sleeves, and a scoop neck, and the pants were long and full.
Another jumpsuit? Also didn't she deign that dark colors were so over? Maybe this isn't the middle school prequel to the Carrie Diaries after all.
Back at the apartment, her dad takes a call from a client in California, which spurs Stacey to think about the other insufferable bitch in the BSC, Dawn. But only for one paragraph.
Dad and Stacey chat about Robert and Dad says what all parents tell their kids: don't get too serious about some teenage bozo. Stacey gets butthurt about it.
They order dinner (surf and turf) and Dad drops the surprise on Stacey: he's going on vacay and taking her with him! Anywhere in the world! Disney World or Europe! She needs a few days to think on it, plus the green light from Mom.
Sunday is a cute day between father and daughter: museum, shopping at a huge "CD and tape store" (lol 1980s), Chinese food dinner, and a play in the West Village.
Stacey starts thinking about the vacation destination in bed that night. She envisions herself in Paris, wearing "a giant red beret with something super stylish."
She knows how to work her angles
She's chic and cosmopolitan and fluent in French apparently, and she sees Robert next to her in Paris, not her dad. She fantasizes about a European honeymoon with Robert, and just like that, Paris is out.
Dawn comes back into Stacey's mind as she considers visiting her departed friend. She dreams about surfing with Dawn, which becomes a dream about sailing with Robert.
In the morning, Stacey tells her dad they're going to Fire Island. She really is Carrie Bradshaw.
Chapter 3
I just realized that we got through an entire Chapter 2 without the dreaded BSC background/cookie cutter characterization presentation!
That means it's in this chapter. Fuck my life.
Stacey is excited to do her big vacay reveal at the Monday BSC meeting. Her dad was understandably confused about the destination, not yet understanding that his daughter is a future fag hag, but he agrees to take her there over brunch. The great Father's Day gift Stacey picked out for her dad, the Civil War marble chess set, got way more description in earlier chapters than the two sentences here where Stacey gave it to him.
Back in Stoneybrook, Stacey enters Claudia's room while her BFF is sketching a group portrait of the BSC.
Another outfit description! This time it's Claudia:
A long black crocheted vest that fell to her knees over a pair of black shorts and a white blouse with ruffles at the collar and cuffs. Her hair was in two long braids tied with black and white ribbons at the ends. On her feet were black sandals with a thick platform sole and white ribbons which laced around her ankles.
All hail Claudia, bohemian queen
Stacey invites Claudia to Fire Island with her and Claudia is psyched! No doubt she's thinking she can hook up with some drag queens and share style notes.
Stacey begins being shady by not revealing the real reason why she chose Fire Island, especially once Claudia sniffs it out and tells her that she wouldn't want to go if Robert was there. Stacey lies by omission to get Claudia to come with her.
Kristy shows up, sees the caricature that Claudia's working on, has a Great Idea™, and we're launched into the horrible world of the Chapter 2/3 BSC background and exposition on terribly one-dimensional characters.
The only thing worth reading in that is the description of Dawn's diet versus Mary Anne's: Dawn eats "health foods like tofu, miso, and no red meat" while Mary Anne eats "regular food." I hate this insipid food shaming nonsense in every book. I eat everything, including tofu and red meat-one of my favorite dishes from our local Chinese spot is their beef with tofu and vegetables. What now, Dawn?
Oh wait, there's another rare occurrence in these chapters: Shannon shows up to the meeting! Two books I pick at random to snark and they both contain more Shannon than the passing reference to associate members. I have the magic touch. Although she is here as Dawn's replacement as alternate officer, but whatever.
Kristy's latest Great Idea™ is an advertising campaign to get new clients. That's put on ice when everyone spills their summer vacay plans, all of which conveniently line up over the first two weeks of July. Mal and Jessi are working as camp counselors, Logan is out of town, and of course Stacey and Claudia are heading up to Fire Island. Claudia diffuses the Kristy-bomb about to go off and invites everyone up to Fire Island for a long 4th of July weekend, to which Kristy really wants to go but won't show it.
Chapter 4
Stacey and Claudia are on the train up to NYC and discuss Kristy's acceptance that she can't control every aspect of her club members' lives. They're excited to have their obsessive friend come up for the 4th along with less obsessive friends Mary Anne and Shannon.
Stacey lies to Claudia again about Robert and starts feeling a twinge of guilt. Claudia admits to being a little freaked out about NYC and they shade Dawn for being a whacked out paranoid mess in Super Special #6 before wondering if the closets on the vacay home in Fire Island will be big enough for all their clothes.
Honey, it's Fire Island. Ye of little faith.
They hook up with Stacey's dad and have what sounds like a "health food" dinner: falafel, pita, baba ghanoush, and rolled grape leaves. Stacey tells us that the same stuff made in Stoneybrook doesn’t taste as good and forgets to food shame the vegetarian feast they just shoved in their faces.
Claudia and Stacey watch a Johnny Depp movie after dinner, because Johnny Depp is omg such a babe. He was pretty hot in the 80s and 90s, so I'll allow it. Although I wonder which movie they’re watching. Platoon? Edward Scissorhands?
As they settle in to sleep for the night, Claudia tells Stacey how nice it was to include her on the family vacation, especially since Stacey doesn't see her dad all that much. Claudia tells Stacey she's a great friend before falling asleep. Stacey feels more guilt but pushes it further down inside.
The next day they head out for Fire Island, taking the railroads and the ferries to get there. They're going over on a ferry named the Kiki, and at this point the gay jokes write themselves.
But Stacey doesn't have time for jokes; what if Robert is on this ferry? What if Claudia finds out about her whole grand devious plan? Why didn't she think of any of this before?
Claudia observes Stacey being jumpy while she scans the crowd for Robert, and she blows off Claudia to frantically search the dock to cover her ass.
Stacey insists they stay put on the ferry instead of walking around and both Claudia and her dad sense that she's full of shit with her excuses of seasickness. Stacey expertly deflects Claudia's suspicions with a quiz from Seventeen magazine, "Test Your Boy Appeal."
Once they arrive on Fire Island, Stacey's dad hooks up with Stu Majors, friend and impromptu realtor. He's dragging a little red wagon behind him, as the Fire Island community doesn't allow cars. There's a punny house named Bedside Manor that's rented by a doctor. Stacey's dad's house is called Sandpiper.
The girls go out exploring, looking for a pizza place and settling on a convenience store where Claudia gets a drink. The chapter ends with them running into Robert at the store!
The most interesting thing in the book happens at the break between chapter snarks for me. Damn my luck.
Stay tuned for swirling masses of turgid drama, more Sex and the City comparisons, and all the gay jokes I can force myself to write.