Mary Anne + 2 Many Babies Part 2!
Wow. This book. It's waaaay stupider than I remembered. I mean, I remember them taking their dumb egg experiment too seriously but the things they do...It just makes no damn sense. No one in their right mind would act like this. I knew the BSC was stupid and all have their heads up their asses but this is totally ridic! It goes right into the delusion territory. This is seriously some of the craziest shit I ever read.
Part 1!
Chapter 6
Kristy sitting for the Papadakis kids. Yeah, let's skip this stupidity. There's lots of stupid egg puns and Kristy talks to her 'husband' Alan on the phone for so long she loses track of her egg. So apparently rules about not tying up the phone while on a job don't apply to Kristy. Good to know. I hope she gets salmonella.
Chapter 7
MA and Logan are being so amazingly stupid I just...wow. They name their egg Samantha and paint an 'S' on it. And MA actually calls it 'Our beautiful daughter.' What? My God, these kids are insane! An egg is not beautiful! And also not a living baby! No one thinks like this! They're like little kids playing pretend! And even little kids wouldn't take things so seriously! I'm half convinced that Ann is an alien lizard person who has no idea how hoo-mans act!
Ugh, I was dreading this next part. MA goes to sit for the Salem twins again and this time they're not all sunshine lollipops and rainbows everything. They're actually acting like real pain in the ass babies. And because MA is a lunatic she actually tries to care for them while pretending her damn egg needs attention too. She actually puts her fucking egg first over two real life crying babies. Mary Anne you are a fucking moron and a horrible person! Put the fucking egg down and attend to your actual real duties! Can you imagine if Mrs. Salem found out the sitter she hired and paid for was neglecting her babies for a fucking egg!? This isn't even caring about doing the assignment properly! This is just plain insanity!
MA gets home from her sitting job of the damned and complains to Dawn about it. They stupidly say it wasn't realistic because they wouldn't be sitting for three infants at once. Yeah, I think Dee Pike would like a little word with you. With a baseball bat. And you made yourself miserable, you dolt. You could have just put the damned egg down and only have to deal with two fussy babies but no, you think your teacher will know and snipe your ass is you don't treat a fucking egg like a human baby. You know how on Pokémon the professor always knows if you're trying to use your bike indoors or something? Yeah, that's how these girls picture Mrs. B.
Chapter 8
Can you catch stupidity from a book? Because I want to still be able to tie my shoes after this. They're at a BSC meeting and have made a 'nursery' on Claudia's dresser. And these brilliant girls actually worry about their eggs falling out of their various containers so they put pillows all around. Why they fucking think this I'll never know. When you have a baby in Stoneybrook do you have to immediately drop it on it's head? When Mal asks why don't they put their eggs on the floor they say it's 'too drafty'...I don't even know what to say. Except maybe THIS WOULD NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN!! No teen would take the Goddamn egg baby assignment this fucking seriously! 'Too drafty' Jesus Herbert Christ on a unicorn.
MA starts whining because Logan keeps taking their egg and not letting her watch it. Did the author of this book lose a bet and have to write the most unrealistic thing they could think of? And that it had to get more stupid and unrealistic as it went on? The only one who shows any sense is Stacey by saying this experiment is a pain in the ass. The other girls are like 'Oh, no you didn't!' because they are insane. And after reading this, I am too.
Gaaahhhhhhh! I don't even know what I'm reading anymore! Mal makes a bacon and eggs joke because MA keeps saying Logan is 'hogging' their egg and the older girls get all bitchface. And Claudia says-'“You guys don’t understand. You aren’t parents yet.”' Ah hahahahaha! Shut the fuck up! My God! The stupidity! And excuse you, Claudia but I have a feeling Mal might know a little more about being a parent than you seeing as she practically has to raise her siblings on her own.
Chapter 9
Stacey sitting for the Gianellis and nobody cares, right? There's just more egg bullshit. Let's just take a break and look at this calming kitty. It'll help the inevitable headache you get from reading this garbage.
Chapter 10
Guys. GUYS. This is so insane. Who wrote this garbage? I think it was Ann herself. That would explain A LOT. MA and Logan decide to go out on a date and rather than do the rational thing and leave the stupid fucking egg at home, they take it with them to the movies. And of course since they couldn't just leave the damned thing at home they lose it for a while and piss off the other patrons looking for the stupid thing. This leads to a fight where Logan doesn't trust MA to look after the fucking egg. Because losing it was all her fault rather than Satan's for granting an egg the powers to escape out of a basket. It's also more evidence of Logan being a controlling, untrusting little pissant who MA should dump if she wasn't as dumb as a hamburger.
Part 1!
Chapter 6
Kristy sitting for the Papadakis kids. Yeah, let's skip this stupidity. There's lots of stupid egg puns and Kristy talks to her 'husband' Alan on the phone for so long she loses track of her egg. So apparently rules about not tying up the phone while on a job don't apply to Kristy. Good to know. I hope she gets salmonella.
Chapter 7
MA and Logan are being so amazingly stupid I just...wow. They name their egg Samantha and paint an 'S' on it. And MA actually calls it 'Our beautiful daughter.' What? My God, these kids are insane! An egg is not beautiful! And also not a living baby! No one thinks like this! They're like little kids playing pretend! And even little kids wouldn't take things so seriously! I'm half convinced that Ann is an alien lizard person who has no idea how hoo-mans act!
Ugh, I was dreading this next part. MA goes to sit for the Salem twins again and this time they're not all sunshine lollipops and rainbows everything. They're actually acting like real pain in the ass babies. And because MA is a lunatic she actually tries to care for them while pretending her damn egg needs attention too. She actually puts her fucking egg first over two real life crying babies. Mary Anne you are a fucking moron and a horrible person! Put the fucking egg down and attend to your actual real duties! Can you imagine if Mrs. Salem found out the sitter she hired and paid for was neglecting her babies for a fucking egg!? This isn't even caring about doing the assignment properly! This is just plain insanity!
MA gets home from her sitting job of the damned and complains to Dawn about it. They stupidly say it wasn't realistic because they wouldn't be sitting for three infants at once. Yeah, I think Dee Pike would like a little word with you. With a baseball bat. And you made yourself miserable, you dolt. You could have just put the damned egg down and only have to deal with two fussy babies but no, you think your teacher will know and snipe your ass is you don't treat a fucking egg like a human baby. You know how on Pokémon the professor always knows if you're trying to use your bike indoors or something? Yeah, that's how these girls picture Mrs. B.
Chapter 8
Can you catch stupidity from a book? Because I want to still be able to tie my shoes after this. They're at a BSC meeting and have made a 'nursery' on Claudia's dresser. And these brilliant girls actually worry about their eggs falling out of their various containers so they put pillows all around. Why they fucking think this I'll never know. When you have a baby in Stoneybrook do you have to immediately drop it on it's head? When Mal asks why don't they put their eggs on the floor they say it's 'too drafty'...I don't even know what to say. Except maybe THIS WOULD NEVER FUCKING HAPPEN!! No teen would take the Goddamn egg baby assignment this fucking seriously! 'Too drafty' Jesus Herbert Christ on a unicorn.
MA starts whining because Logan keeps taking their egg and not letting her watch it. Did the author of this book lose a bet and have to write the most unrealistic thing they could think of? And that it had to get more stupid and unrealistic as it went on? The only one who shows any sense is Stacey by saying this experiment is a pain in the ass. The other girls are like 'Oh, no you didn't!' because they are insane. And after reading this, I am too.
Gaaahhhhhhh! I don't even know what I'm reading anymore! Mal makes a bacon and eggs joke because MA keeps saying Logan is 'hogging' their egg and the older girls get all bitchface. And Claudia says-'“You guys don’t understand. You aren’t parents yet.”' Ah hahahahaha! Shut the fuck up! My God! The stupidity! And excuse you, Claudia but I have a feeling Mal might know a little more about being a parent than you seeing as she practically has to raise her siblings on her own.
Chapter 9
Stacey sitting for the Gianellis and nobody cares, right? There's just more egg bullshit. Let's just take a break and look at this calming kitty. It'll help the inevitable headache you get from reading this garbage.
Chapter 10
Guys. GUYS. This is so insane. Who wrote this garbage? I think it was Ann herself. That would explain A LOT. MA and Logan decide to go out on a date and rather than do the rational thing and leave the stupid fucking egg at home, they take it with them to the movies. And of course since they couldn't just leave the damned thing at home they lose it for a while and piss off the other patrons looking for the stupid thing. This leads to a fight where Logan doesn't trust MA to look after the fucking egg. Because losing it was all her fault rather than Satan's for granting an egg the powers to escape out of a basket. It's also more evidence of Logan being a controlling, untrusting little pissant who MA should dump if she wasn't as dumb as a hamburger.