FF#1 Kristy's Big News Chapters 10-15
Back again. Oh, Lord. I’ll start off with Sherlock just to lower all our blood pressures. An accurate recap of Patrick's demeanor:
1) If you even slightly allude to the fact that Patrick did something bad, he throws a hissy fit.
2) If you aren’t quick to meet his standards, even if you are a six-year-old girl who happens to be his daughter, he throws a hissy fit.
3) If you are even thinking about being critical of him…well, you get the idea.
YOU”RE SO RIGHT YOU’RE WRONG
The next chapter begins with a picnic, at Zoey’s suggestion. But wouldn’t you know it, Patrick actually tries to pawn the kids off on Zoey instead of letting her go to her restaurant, insisting that she “show them around Sausalito” and he’ll go windsurfing. I just…no words.He hasn’t seen the kids in over six years, and tries to pawn them off on his fiancée to go windsurfing instead of spending time with them. When they'll only be in town for a week. We could make a drinking game out of this, but considering how many times Patrick is a douche, we would all pass out after five minutes. It takes Zoey promising to prepare a first class lunch for the picnic to convince Patrick to take the kids on one. The picnic is, of course, awkward as Zoey is absent. Patrick finally asks what’s been going on in his children’s lives, but he makes the fatal mistake of calling Charlie “Chuck.” “Chuck” is displeased and reminds Patrick that he was in fifth grade when he abandoned the family, is planning to head off to college, and that Watson is going to help pay for it. Patrick’s response? “I don’t think I like your tone.” Wow. Way to commit, Patrick. I think he's just jealous of the rich stepfather. Again, nothing to comfort his son or be sorry that he left. No congratulations about heading off to college. No offer to help. No advice. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Sam and Kristy run away and play Frisbee to get away from the drama. On the way home, Patrick focuses all his attention on Kristy despite Sam trying to get his attention. Is there any area of life in which Patrick Thomas does not fail? Except for the art of being Worst Father and Biggest Asshole, of course. Um, and since they're on a ferry right now, I kind of want this to happen...
"Zoey, Patrick...ran off again. Yeah, that's right...just like last time."
Kristy and Charlie, in a private moment, have a chat. Kristy says that they can’t leave because it would ruin the wedding and even Charlie doesn’t want to wreck it for Zoey. Charlie can’t believe she’s defending Patrick and insists she’s obviously his favorite child. Kristy doesn’t know how to respond, especially when he asks how he and Sam are supposed to feel about that. It’s a really sad moment and "preferential treatment" should go right on the list of Patrick's douchbaggery, right below his forgetting DM. I suspect we shall soon have enough pages to make up the width of an encyclopedia. Charlie asks that Kristy not get “taken in” by their father and Kristy has to wonder if that’s what happened to Zoey and her own mother. I’m afraid so, and praying that this book will end with the wedding being canceled and Zoey finding someone who deserves her, but I’m almost positive that’s not going to happen.
Oh noes, there’s a message on the answering machine when they return! Turns out that Zoey’s side of the family is bringing more people than expected, including her father’s new bride and two ex-wives, not including Zoey's mother. She asks that Patrick do the hotel arrangements and keep them all separate, particularly her parents. So she knows family drama, which explains why she’s so good at mediating. It turns out that Zoey’s mother and grandmother are going to stay with a woman named Jessica Sara Klein, Zoey’s best friend and bridesmaid. What an awfully specific name. There’s also specific mention of which towns and hotels all the people are staying at. Yawn.
And yes snarkers, you are all correct in presuming that the only family members of Patrick’s at this wedding will be Kristy, Sam, and Charlie. His own brother refused to come. I expect hearing about how popular his bride-to-be is, even among estranged and former family members, is making him pissy. After the seat arrangement discussion, Patrick plops down to watch baseball, but he actually invites Sam to watch with him. I'm shocked. Zoey, meanwhile, asks Kristy for wedding dress advice and is simply pleasant to listen to. But she drops a bomb that she and Patrick are planning on children. I feel almost as sick as Kristy thinking about it. She goes from upset to angry, wondering why he didn’t even try to work things out before leaving. “Were we the experimental model?” It really seems that way. Zoey tries to comfort her that them having kids doesn’t mean he’ll love them any less. “Of course not,” Kristy says. “How could he?” I want to cry. Especially when Kristy says, “I realized my father was gone forever” just like when she was a little girl.
After that sadness, the kids pick up Zoey’s family and they’re pretty nice. But it’s tense again with just the father and kids. Patrick actually suggests hanging out and playing catch like they used to, but Charlie refuses. Everyone else goes and Sam, to his credit, tries to keep things nice and light-hearted. They end up having a pretty good time, but of course, there’s been a six year gap since the last time they played. Afterwards, they all get dressed for the rehearsal and then the drama really hits the fan. Charlie makes a joke about a tie being a noose, but Patrick takes it the wrong way and lashes out at him. “I’ve had about enough of your negativity, your putdowns, your nasty tone. Can’t you at least, for just a little while, behave like a good son?” EXCUSE ME? After walking out on his children, he has the nerve to say that Charlie’s not being a good son? Charlie awesomely retorts, “Why should I? It’s not as if you ever behaved like a good father.” Patrick, not to be outdone, whines, “Well, I didn’t have the chance, did I? You didn’t exactly try to stay in touch.”
…
...
...
...
Excuse me for a moment.
Because Patrick is too stupid to exist even in print.
That’s right, Patrick just accused his children, ages 10,8, and 6 OF NOT KEEPING IN TOUCH. All the fault was with them! And this is before cell phones, so what the hell were they supposed to do?! Let’s say even if Charlie the eldest got a hold of him, was Patrick really going to be a good father? He didn’t try to keep in touch with the kids at all! Basically, he is blaming his children for his utter shittiness at being a father. ALL WHILE IGNORING THE FACT THAT HE HAS A FOURTH CHILD.
I’m a bad father? Thanks, Obama/ anyone else in the world but me!
You're not reading it wrong. This is actually in the book. Patrick actually says this. Yes. He does. Dear God.
This book should come with this warning label.
Charlie, rightfully, calls him out on his shit. They were children and didn’t know where he was half the time, but Patrick whines that he had to go and had no choice. But when Charlie isn’t having any of that, Patrick makes an excuse that Elizabeth wouldn’t have taken it well. Uh, and this is your children’s fault in what way? Charlie gets a medal for not being surprised that his father is trying to blame his mother. Patrick gets angry and calls Charlie immature and spoiled with no right to judge him. Patrick is never wrong in Patrick's world! Then Kristy snaps. What she says is so right, I will just put it here. “How dare you call him spoiled? When he took care of all of us after you left? When he quit the baseball team so he could come home after school with us? How spoiled is that? You left us. You left us. You never even said good-bye, or that you were sorry, or anything. You haven’t even bothered to talk to David Michael. And don’t you dare blame Mom.”
Tell him, girl.
I’m so happy that they’re calling him out for trying to blame everyone else. Patrick finally shuts up. Sam tries to stop the fighting, but Charlie now refuses to go to the rehearsal dinner at all. “I’m not going to the dinner. Why should I go watch someone as nice as Zoey marry a family-ditching loser like our father?” You can say what you want about how children should respect their parents, but I 100% stand by Charlie here. Patrick has done nothing to deserve their respect. Kristy defies her father and stays with Charlie. Sam finally gives up his role as mediator and joins his siblings. Patrick is then forced to go to the dinner alone. Good riddance. The siblings, understandably, have a spat of their own. Charlie tells Sam he can still catch Patrick, but Sam insists that they’re his family, while their father isn’t, at least not like that. But he forces Charlie to listen to him. “You think I’m some kind of wimp because I want to get along with Dad? Because I want to forgive him and put it behind me? Well, I’m not. I was there too when he left, remember? You think I didn’t miss him? You think I didn’t wonder why he left? You think I didn’t hate him? That I didn’t wonder whether maybe, if I’d been a better kid, he wouldn’t have left?” This is really heartbreaking stuff. Kristy agrees and also thought it may have been her fault. We learn that Charlie and Patrick actually would get up early and play baseball. Then they taught Kristy to play. All of them would play together. They even had a lovely family outing to a baseball game before the abandonment and I’m thinking a BSC book is actually going to make me cry while I’m in my 20s. This is really tough stuff. I can't even imagine being close to your father and him just leaving out of the blue without a word. To keep the peace, Sam asks Charlie to lower his expectations and Charlie, tragically, says that maybe he should have zero expectations. Sam sadly agrees and then we get this really heartbreaking line no child should ever have to say: "I think it was at that moment I gave up, finally and forever, the idea of Patrick as my dad."
I’m so upset reading this. Kristy, on the verge of tears says, “After all, we’ve got a great family. Without Patrick.”But Charlie, after all of this, says that he does not hate his father and that they should go support him at the dinner. They all express a desire to be there for him. Give this kid a medal and all the beer he wants. Give him anything he wants, give all of them a mountain of presents. They have more integrity and maturity at their ages than their own father. At the dinner, Patrick shakes his sons’ hands, but hugs Kristy. Sigh. There’s a little moment and Charlie calmly states that he will not serve as best man, but Sam will. Patrick takes it reasonably well. We then have a corny moment of Kristy standing in for Zoey at the rehearsal, since it’s apparently bad luck for the bride to do so. We then find out that Zoey is so nice, so thoughtful, that she postponed her own wedding to the summertime so that the three of them, whom she had never met before, could attend. But it also took Patrick until the last minute to contact them! Zoey postponed the wedding, meaning it had been planned and anticipated for a while, but the kids don't get invited until right before. PATRICK. The random typos in the ebook are keeping me calm though. Charlie is apparently a woman now.
Zoey spends the night with Kristy (I will refrain from using the tag we all know and love, seeing as this book has some heavy stuff going on) and Kristy confesses that Patrick abandoned the family and hasn’t been a good father. Zoey already knows. I’m shocked that Patrick actually had the cajones to confess it or didn’t try to pin it on Elizabeth, all “I tried to see them, but she wouldn’t let me!” Kristy brings up the valid point that he might leave Zoey in the lurch. Turns out that Patrick didn’t fully explain, but Zoey is smart enough to fill in the blanks. Zoey also forced Patrick to tell on threat of leaving him. DAYUM. Then Zoey justifies why she thinks it's ok to marry Patrick and have children with him. She says that Patrick has grown up "somewhat" and then says, "I suspect he’ll always be one of those guys who’s a bit of a kid. He’ll be an especially great father when our kids are young. And then, I believe, he’ll stay to watch them grow up. How could he not, after realizing what he missed with you guys? He’s finally learned, I think, that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of that fence.” Sadly, I think Zoey gives Patrick far too much credit. There's really nothing to imply that the process won't repeat itself :( Please reconsider!!!
Zoey, Kristy concludes, is much cooler than her father. UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY. But of course, even algae on a rock or rotten strawberries in the fridge are cooler than Patrick. After a bunch of shenanigans I don’t care to recap, the couple walks down the aisle to “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”
You must be mistaken.
Charlie makes a brief toast and wishes them a wonderful life; Patrick dances with Kristy and thanks her. Then they’re back in Stoneybrook and Kristy is having a heart-to-heart with Elizabeth over lemonade. She recaps everything and the latter simply says she wishes the couple well. “Life gave our family some lemons and we made lemonade." Ugh, no comment. "I wasn’t calling Patrick a lemon, not exactly." Good, because he’s worse than a lemon. Apparently, Kristy can now teleport because suddenly she is with the BSC. Um, my ebook may have skipped a few lines. If this is how the real book transitions, Nola Thacker, then I suggest firing the editor. Oh, here we go. Several lines later, Nola tells us, “We were in Claudia’s room. We had just finished our BSC meeting.” This isn’t the start of a chapter, it’s in the middle. Nola, I’ve been rather nice since I’ve been snarking the heavy stuff, but your transitions in this book are AWFUL. You don’t just do that in the middle of a chapter without at least adding a "***" or something in-between. That was ridiculous.
Claudia, very wisely, compares Patrick to Peter Pan and Kristy sadly affirms, "If something doesn’t work out right away, he gets mad. Or he quits. Or leaves.” True that, which is why I think Zoey is in danger of being left. Kristy then claims, “I still don’t know how I feel about him. I mean, I love him, because he’s my father. But I don’t know if I’ll ever like him very much.” And the book ends with them consoling her that he might change. But wait a second…DAVID MICHAEL. That’s right, Patrick never said one word about his youngest child, even to the end. I just…I don’t even. The rage is building up…Are we supposed to be satisfied that he never said anything? Seriously?
NO!
PATRICK NEVER MENTIONED HIS YOUNGEST CHILD AND THEY LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT. I just hope Zoey comes to her senses one day, before getting pregnant and letting him have more children he won't take good care of.
Bitch, I’m out of here.