Stacey's Movie Chapters 1-5
Chapter 1
Stacey is pretending that it’s the opening night of the New York film festival and she’s the hottest new filmmaker. I used to do to the same thing when I was thirteen. I would write interviews in my journal for when I became a bestselling author and was interviewed on TV. I would also write that I had red highlights in my hair because I wanted red highlights as a child. I’m kind of surprised Stacey is doing this in public. I thought she would think that this behavior wasn’t sophisticated enough. Sometimes I think that Stacey secretly does dorky things, but would never admit it.
Abby points out that everyone is staring at Stacey and Stacey realizes that she was speaking louder than she thought. I think the BSC are the type of people who basically have to shout everything even if the person is only a foot away from them. Abby tells Stacey that she has to get used to being in the public eye if she’s going to be in film. Stacey wants to direct. I never got the impression that Stacey minded being in the public eye. I always thought she liked it. I don’t know how much directors are in the public eye.
There’s supposed to be some film class at the school and Stacey is excited. She’s never displayed any interest in directing as far as I can remember. Stacey describes herself as a movie nut. Aside from Mary Poppins, I don’t know any of Stacey’s opinions on movies. Stacey apparently likes to look at movies and figure out how they could have been improved. When was this ever established? Since when do any of the BSC give a shit about movies? I think they may like old movies, but I don’t know if I’m just assuming that because of Ann’s obsession with old things.
Apparently Stacey’s love for movies comes from the fact that she’s a New Yorker. She gets to see a bunch of movies because they are usually released in Manhattan. She also watched a movie being filmed. Now I’m wondering if it’s okay for the charges to watch movies. I know TV is out unless it’s a last resort, but is it okay for kids to watch movies on the TV? Stacey mentions her boyfriend Ethan. Stacey wants to direct a movie starring Ethan. I’m imagining Stacey directing a certain kind of movie starring her and Ethan that won’t be released to the general public. Or maybe it might be. I’m not sure how Stacey feels about public displays of affection. I just remembered the phrase, “Sleeping with the director.” Why do I get the feeling this might occur if Stacey pursues directing when she’s an adult? I guess right now Stacey could just make out with someone in exchange for a part in the movie.
Stacey is asked what she’ll do if she doesn’t get into the class she wants. My mind jumps straight to the gutter for a way Stacey can get into the class. It never occurred to Stacey that she might not get into film class. Of course she’s going to get into film class. The BSC usually gets their way, and if they don’t, it ends up working out for the best.
Chapter 2
Claudia is complaining about Alan Gray at the BSC meeting. He wrote, “I love Alan Gray,” on her shirt in permanent marker when her back was turned. This makes me smile. I think the BSC takes themselves so seriously that it’s really funny when someone decides to mess with them. It is nice that Alan has gone back to the harmless practical joker instead of the bully he was thanks to character derailment. Stacey and Claudia are planning to go to Manhattan together. Stacey likes to share her other life with Claudia as much as possible because they’re best friends. I just imagined Stacey introducing Claudia to some sort of fetish scene for some reason. There’s the usual stuff about how gorgeous Claudia is and how it’s so amazing she has such great skin because she lives on junk food. I’m pretty sure Mallory is the only BSC member that would ever get acne because all bad things must happen to her. I wonder if the ghost writers ever wake up from a nightmare mumbling, “Have to make character descriptions last a whole chapter. It’s been 130 books. How many more ways can I describe the main characters? The readers should know this by now.”
Kristy and Abby arrive. Abby stretches out to take a catnap because she’s feeling tired and she has homework and a babysitting job to do. Kristy commands Abby to wake up. If I were in Abby’s shoes, I’d be thinking, “I would so flip you off if I had the energy.” The damn meeting hasn’t even started. I think Abby can take a five minute nap. I would love it if Abby said, “Nothing of importance goes on during these meetings anyway.” Kristy has no patience for fatigue. I have no patience for controlling loudmouths with no manners. Stacey says she doubts Kristy has ever experienced fatigue. Of course she hasn’t. Being tired is for lazy slackers. There’s no excuse not to be running marathons, organizing parades, and curing world hunger every day. People who need to sleep more because they’re sick, have a medical condition, or like to sleep in are pathetic whiners.
I wonder what would have happened if Kristy had gotten mono instead of Mallory. Maybe the BSC would have disbanded for a time because the cult can’t do anything without Kristy’s permission. I’m pretty sure they’ll eventually ask her if it’s okay to go to the bathroom during a BSC meeting. If she did get mono, I’m sure Kristy would have managed to get a bunch of stuff accomplished and everyone would have been fawning over her and how she didn’t let a silly thing like mono get her down. Laying in bed and taking it easy when you’re sick is for the weak. It amuses me to think of Kristy not being around because she’s on vacation or sick and freaking out because she thinks the BSC will fall apart without her iron fist and then the other members telling her, “We are capable of running the BSC without you. It’s just not worth putting up with your tantrum-throwing when we point out that we have ideas and opinions as well.”
Abby’s mom is a workaholic. She says that her mom only became a workaholic because her dad died. I haven’t read any Abby books, so I don’t know how Abby feels about her mom working a lot. I’ve realized that workaholic parents being portrayed as uncaring and bad annoys me. Maybe it’s because I’m more aware of the fact that my parents need to work so we can have a house, groceries, pay college tuition, and buy me presents. Abby has an identical twin named Anna, but they’re nothing alike. Is it a law that identical twins have to be exactly alike? I don’t look at the twins I know and think that they like and dislike the same things. Abby and Anna are yin and yang.
I have a hard time believing that Mary Anne doesn’t expect life to hand her tidy little answers. I always thought Mary Anne freaked out when there was the slightest inconvenience. This is the girl that labeled her worst day as falling out of bed, spilling orange juice, getting her locker stuck, snapping at her boyfriend, and having a library book not be in the library. I can’t really see Mary Anne being all go with the flow.
When did the Ramseys stand up to their prejudiced neighbors? Jessi is feeling a little down because she misses Mallory. Mallory finally said, “Fuck being the BSC punching bag. I’m out of here.” I like to imagine her having a great life at Riverbend. Mrs. Rodowsky calls for a sitter. I don’t see the point of reading the club notebook. These girls have been babysitting some of these kids for ages. I’m pretty sure they don’t need to keep reading the notebook. It’s not like there’ll be a ton of new information on the kids.
Chapter 3
Stacey is really hoping to get into that film class. Mary Anne wants to take Egyptology or Contemporary Political Campaigns. I have a hard time seeing Mary Anne being into Political Campaigns. I’m sure she’d think that debating is mean. She’d probably freeze up if someone asked her a question about her policies and she’d totally freak out if she heard news coverage of the event. I also think that she would find some of the campaign ads mean.
Stacey and Kristy both get into the film class. Claudia is taking a class on architecture. I wonder if Claudia knows that architecture has math involved. She knows this, but figures Stacey can help her. Not even math will dampen her enthusiasm. I wonder if she’ll still feel that way after she takes the class and has to do math. Maybe she’ll be like, “I don’t see why I need to use math for this,” and the instructor will say something about making sure the building is steady or something related to safety reasons. For some reason I want to look up why the Leaning Tower of Pisa is the way is tilted. I can kind of imagine Claudia throwing out all the mathematics she needed and just focusing on designing a cool building. I guess someone else could take care of the mathematics part. Mary Anne got into her Egyptology class. She thinks tombs and mummies are cool. I never would have figured her for the type. Abby and Jessi are taking the Athletic Physiology class.
Carrie White is awesome, according to Stacey. She has a flowing black dress and exotic jewelry. Whenever I see the words black and flowing to describe clothes, I’m going to think of Professor Snape. She specializes in documentaries. The class isn’t limited to just documentaries. However, they can document things if they want because they are completely open in this class. I’m just imagining some of the students documenting themselves doing really stupid shit. There are a bunch of reoccurring characters in this class, but I don’t really care about them, aside from Pete Black because he rules.
Carrie passes out papers asking what video equipment the students have. What if the students don’t have video equipment? What if their parents won’t allow them to use it? Is the school going to supply video cameras to a bunch of middle schoolers? I’m sure there’d be some sort of liability issue. Carrie also wants them to describe what part of movie making interests them the most. Stacey can’t figure out what to write aside from the fact that she might want to be a producer because she’s good at math, but she’s really interested in directing. It’s so amusing that these girls can write a bunch of stuff about their life stories, their friends’ life stories, and the history of the BSC, but the second anyone asks them to write something other than that, they have no idea what to write.
Emily is writing a lot on her sheet of paper. Stacey wonders how she has so much to say. Maybe she’s passionate about the subject? You were just going on about how you were such a movie buff. Why don’t you write about how you’ve loved movies since you were a little girl and how you get to see movies a lot since you live in New York? Why don’t you write about how you always think about how movies can be improved?
Carrie assigns them groups. Stacey is with Erica, Emily, and Pete. Kristy is with Alan, Logan and Anna. They have to make a ten minute film. One person will be the screenwriter, one person will be the cinematographer, one person will be the producer/editor, and another person will be the director. Stacey gets to be the director, Emily is the screenwriter, Pete is the producer, and Erica is the cinematographer. Of course, this doesn’t matter, because Carrie just reassigns them anyway. She wants to move them out of their comfort zones. She wants them to be challenged. Their brains have been sleeping all this time. She sounds really pompous. I would probably be irritated with the fact that I’m being pushed out of my comfort zone because someone thinks I’m too comfortable and I need to be challenged.
There are a few things I’d like to point out. First of all, if you were going to assign them roles anyway, why the hell did you waste five minutes having them assign their own roles? What’s wrong with the kids choosing roles that they’re interested in? This is a 3 week class. It’s not a film school or anything like that. If it were a longer class, they might be able to have a rotating system so that everybody could get a chance to experience different aspects of filmmaking. Suppose Carrie assigned a person to be the cinematographer and they don’t know how to work a camera or doesn’t have access to one? Suppose the producer is bad at math? Does this go on in the film world? Does someone say to a director, “You aren’t being challenged enough? It’s time to move you out of your comfort zone?” Also, film making isn’t typically taught at middle school, so I don’t think that the kids have had the chance to firmly establish comfort zones. They probably just have areas of interest.
Stacey is the screenwriter, Pete is the cinematographer, and Erica and Emily are the producer and the director, but my e-book says Erica twice, so I don’t know who is doing what. They get together to start brainstorming ideas. I was (and still am) into story retelling, so I probably would have suggested something like that. Of course, I probably wouldn’t have minded whatever anyone suggested, as long as it wasn’t a Western. Stacey wants to write about something closer to real life. They suggest horror movies and thriller movies. An idea about a movie about a ghost is mentioned. Stacey gets excited about writing a script.
Chapter 4
They haven’t started filming in class as yet. First they have to watch Carrie’s film and learn about the film process. Carrie says learning about the trade will make their movies better. I think it’s a good idea to learn how making a movie works. It seems kind of stupid to give a bunch of middle schoolers a camera and tell them to go nuts. I would take this as an opportunity to learn, especially if I got assigned a role that I wasn’t comfortable with. Stacey is having writer’s block. She rents a bunch of thrillers to get inspiration. I guess little Miss Movie Buff isn’t a fan of thrillers. I’m just imagining her asking Jessi if she wants to be in the horror movie and saying, “You do know that since you’re black you’ll die first, right? I just wanted to make that clear.”
At the BSC meeting, Kristy tells everyone that they’re doing a project on Stoneybrook’s funniest kids. Stacey says that Kristy probably thought that up. Of course she did. The other members in her group are capable of thinking about things besides children. I’d be pretty irritated if I was in that group. I don’t like children that much, so I would have no desire filming them saying “funny things.” I would totally get them to do a Pokemon reenactment though. It would be really amusing seeing those kids dressed up as Pokemon and having them battle each other. Stacey says that it’s not fair that Kristy’s group has her, the Human Idea Machine. I wouldn’t call Kristy an idea machine. I’d call her someone who is still coddled and throws tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. I’m pretty sure the rest of the group didn’t feel like going along with her tantrum so they just said, “Yeah, we can film a bunch of kids.” It’ll be a miracle if Kristy doesn’t try to use this as advertisement for the BSC or send in the movie to Hollywood and demand they show it on the big screen. Why do I get the feeling that Kristy’s film will involve Jackie being a klutz?
Stacey has an idea for a film. A geeky unpopular girl wishes everyone will leave her alone. Then everyone disappears, but there’s writing on the board, singing over the PA, and food being cooked. Then when the bell rings, zombie kids burst out of their locker and chase her. Emily tells Stacey she likes the script. She volunteers to play the geek because she has a geeky side. Stacey denies this with an uncomfortable laugh. In some parts of the world, being a geek is looked at as a good thing, instead of a source of great shame. Thankfully, Emily isn’t an actual geek, but she could be believable in that role. Thank goodness. I was worried someone Stacey associated with would be a geek. I wonder if Stacey’s head would explode if she met a geek that dressed really sophisticated. Pete brought his video camera to school today, so they’re going to try and film the end scene with the zombies.
It turns out to be really easy to recruit kids to be in the movie. Stacey is impressed with the students’ creativity. The girls have used eyeliner to make circles under their eyes. That seems pretty basic to me. They’ve used lipstick for blood and used hair gel to make weird hairstyles. Claudia has designed Abby and Jessi’s costumes, so they obviously look the best. Some of the lockers have been left open. The zombies are to go into the lockers and not touch anyone’s stuff? How big are these lockers? Also, asking them not to touch other peoples’ stuff seems like a lot to ask given the maturity level of some middle schoolers. Emily’s geek costume includes her putting her hair in braids, yanking her jeans up really high, and walking with bad posture. Some geeks are perfectly capable of walking with good posture and wearing their jeans lower than chest level. I wonder if Stacey will make a cameo as the mean girl who bullies the geek. You know she’d totally be perfect for that role.
The zombies go into the lockers. Pete is worried about using the camera because it’s harder than it looks. I’m worried about them using a video camera without supervision. I’d be paranoid they’d break the camera or film over an important event. They start the scene, but the zombies have managed to lock themselves inside. I just remembered the joke about how zombies would starve in Stoneybrook. Now I think it would be funny to have a story about zombies coming to Stoneybrook and starving because the people are morons. Emily says not to panic because she has the master key. Stacey says it’s a good thing Emily is so organized. I would call that common sense. If you’re going to have kids stuff themselves into lockers, you had better make sure you have a key on hand. I’m pretty sure that if Kristy had been involved, everyone would have been totally useless until Kristy had the brilliant idea to get the key so we could see how organized Kristy is.
Some of the zombies leave, but Pete figures he can use filming tricks to make it look like there are more zombies. Filming ends and they go to watch the film. It sucks. I think this is understandable seeing as they are middle school students and have no prior experience. Were they seriously expecting Hollywood quality stuff on their first try? I would just market this as a cheesy horror movie that’s so bad it’s good. They watch Carrie’s film about eating disorders. Stacey thinks that their movie seems dumb in comparison and they might need to switch gears. There’s no law saying you have to create a super serious movie. There’s nothing wrong with a zombie movie.
Chapter 5
I think there may be some problems with Kristy’s film. She is planning to use the Rodowskies. I’m pretty sure that she just wants Jackie to have a klutzy moment because that’ll be hilarious. Kristy’s the camera person. Alan is the director. Kristy asks Shea to tell her what’s so interesting about puzzles. Shea shrugs and says that they’re fun. Alan tries to point out that he’s the director, but Kristy isn’t passing up the chance to take over something, especially if it involves including kids. I’d be pretty pissed. Kristy isn’t even the damn screenwriter. I wish someone would have said, “We’re not doing a movie about kids just because you want to, Kristy.” Seriously, it’s quite fine if Kristy can’t think of anything besides kids, but why does she have to force her kid-centric view on the whole group? Why should the group have to do things Kristy’s way?
Kristy tells Jackie to walk up the stairs. She’s clearly hoping that he’ll trip. Archie tries to get Kristy’s attention by making funny faces, but Kristy is too busy hoping that Jackie will injure himself to pay attention. Logan asks Kristy if there’s anything they’d like them to do. This isn’t the BSC, Logan. Kristy has no authority here. Alan points out that he’s the director. Logan says that it doesn’t make him the boss. I thought the director did have some degree of authority. Kristy tells Alan to grow up because how dare he be upset that Kristy is using this project as an opportunity to further her own ends. I personally think Alan’s right. Why the hell should the entire group have to do what Kristy wants? I would love it if Alan said, “This isn’t the BSC, Kristy. Maybe you’re used to everyone giving you your way there, but I’m the director and I’m getting sick of you trying to take over.”
Jackie storms off and Mary Anne goes after him. Jackie rightfully points out that Kristy is just waiting for him to have a klutz attack. Mary Anne thinks that Jackie is right. I love how it never occurred to Kristy that Jackie might not like having his klutzy moments videotaped. Or maybe she did consider it, but she didn’t care. Mary Anne tells Jackie that he doesn’t have to be in the movie. Kristy agrees. Alan is busy fuming because Kristy has totally taken over and is doing whatever she wants. I guess it doesn’t matter if anyone else had good ideas because nothing will get in the way of Kristy making everything about kids.
Jackie finally has a klutz attack and despite Kristy agreeing that Jackie didn’t have to be in the film and she didn’t want him to feel bad, Kristy begins filming. Mary Anne tries to stop her because she seems to have some respect for Jackie’s feelings. Kristy pushes Mary Anne’s hand away from the camera. I really wanted Mary Anne to punch Kristy here. Jackie said he didn’t want to be filmed. Why are you so hellbent on filming him being a klutz? If it hurts his feelings, shouldn’t she respect that? It’s also slightly irritating that the girls bitch about Jackie any other day, but once they realize they can use him to their advantage, they can’t wait for him to have an accident. Jackie’s klutz moment is over by the time Kristy returns to filming. She snaps at Mary Anne that Mary Anne made her miss it. Then Kristy tells everyone that they’ve got what they needed. Alan is upset. I would be as well. Who the hell does Kristy think she is? She’s not in charge. Someone should just sit Kristy down and tell her that she can’t be in charge all the time and that sometimes she has to do what others say. She can’t always have things her way.
Logan thinks today is just a bumpy start. No, it isn’t. I read ahead and Kristy won’t be over trying to get everyone to do the film the way she wants. If Kristy wants to film kids so badly, why the hell can’t she do it on her own time? I’m sure Watson has (or can get a video camera) and Kristy can film kids to her heart’s content and host a film festival. But she should stop trying to force everyone to do what she wants for the group project. I just realized that Logan has nothing to do (he’s the screenwriter) because Kristy is trying film the kids acting naturally. Alan has nothing to do because Kristy seems to think that she’s the director. I’m not sure what Anna can do. I would totally just be like, “Fine. Let Kristy do whatever she wants on her own. I’ll take an F.”