Karen's Surprise (15-20)
Okay FINALLY guys I'm BACK. I'm gonna finish this snark now. Sorry about the long absence. I've been really busy over this summer. I'm going to finish this snark and also my Claudia and the First Thanksgiving snark, and then snark some new BSCs I got over the summer. (:
Other parts of the snark:
Chapters 1 through 6
Chapters 7 through 14
Just as a recap: Distraught over being cast as a lowly turkey in the Thanksgiving play, Karen gets her teacher to add a song and dance number for all the food parts...but since this is Karen, it's of course only the building block for her master plan to ruin her "best enemy's" night by outshining her on stage. In the meantime, the grownups have gotten into some offscreen (but mentioned in an early chapter) fight about who the kids should have Thanksgiving with, and have decided they are to have two Thanksgiving dinners with both halves of the family...on the same day.
Chapter 15
Miss Colman pulls Karen aside about the little stunt she pulled. Of course, she doesn't punish her, but simply tells her what she did was wrong, mmkay. Karen walks away from it taking in absolutely nothing, and basks in the praise and attention the audience pulls her aside to give her. Of course she does. This is Ann's Mary Sue, after all. However, though she is well received by the audience, everyone in the class is pissed off at her for hogging the stage. And Natalie, the Mallory of the LS series, AWESOMELY tells her off...in a PARAGRAPH! :D She's like "Okay, so you write a song for the food parts claiming it's so we can all feel important...then you give the biggest part to YOURSELF without even TELLING us? Screw that!" And Pamela dances around her singing a little taunting song about her being a stage hog. But of course, Karen doesn't care, and snots, "You're just mad 'cause the audience liked you better!" For crying out loud, somebody throw a pie! (sorry for potato video quality) Pamela, however, is taking no shit and being like "Fuck this, in two days I'll be at Disneyworld and completely free of your bitchy self." GO PAMELA GO! Karen leaves having taken absolutely nothing from the experience and muses about Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Chapter 16
Karen skips breakfast to prepare for the two Thanksgiving meals, but that won't save her. D: Aww, she's getting all dressed up for Thanksgiving. I remember I did that until I was around sixteen. Now I just wear regular clothes on Thanksgiving (but I'm a Claudia, so..."regular" clothes. Yeah). Andrew is fighting with Lisa about wearing his suit. Lisa doesn't stop to think that he can just wear blue jeans WITH the suit. They'll just blend in anyway and he still has his "fancy" suit top on. :\ Cut the kid some slack. I've always been allowed pants under fancy skirts for special occassions. They're watching the Thanksgiving day parade, but unfortunately this is a decade before they get to see it be Rickrolled before Santa comes out. Sometimes I wonder how Karen, Andrew, and the BSC would react to Internet meme if the BSC books were set in this decade. I see Mary Anne going nuts with lolcats and Kristy posting all the disapproving face/passive-aggressive reaction gifs in the world. Karen's grandparents have arrived from Nebraska (featured in Karen's Plane Trip and Karen's Movie. I HOPE that this grandad isn't the one who dies in Karen's Grandad. D: He was sweet). More relatives show up, and there's eight people around the Thanksgiving table (as opposed to fucking 30+ in Kristy's superspecialawesome Thanksgiving idea in Claudia and the First Thanksgiving -_-). Karen is unable to control herself from eating too much food because she is SEVEN and has no concept of that kind of self control yet. Which is why this is a bad idea. Why not just have them on different days, GEEZ.
Chapter 17
Karen and Andrew show up at the Big House and eat some more after just eating a ton. Emily is wearing a dress that is way too fancy and done-up for a girl her age. She's just going to spill things on it or take a shit in it. I never understood dressing babies and toddlers in super fancy dresses. They're inevitably going to mess it up. In her very first attempt at snark, Emily yells "Turkey!" when Karen shows up. LOL you go Emily. They can't eat yet because Karen and Andrew just ate, which irritates the other kids in the family. This is ANOTHER reason why this was a bad idea. They have to hold up the great Thanksgiving feast for everyone else in the house just because two people who really could've just come on another day had already JUST eaten a huge feast. Karen and Andrew feel bad, but they shouldn't. Watson and Lisa should feel bad. When it's finally feast time, Karen attempts to eat it all--the book makes it sound like she's doing so out of politeness--but Andrew can't eat another bite. Finally, after dessert, Karen gets a stomachache, as predicted.
Chapter 18
Watson takes Karen to the bedroom to lie down, and to add insult to injury not only is she sick but she's afraid of messing up her fancy dress by wrinkling it or barfing. ): As predicted, Emily has taken a shit on her dress and must be changed. -_- Seriously, wait another year or two for the fancy dresses. When Lisa comes to pick the kids up, Watson, in a rare moment of civility, actually allows her into the house. LE GASP! He tells her that Andrew is asleep and Karen is sick, and she can't pick the kids up yet. Karen is angry at the grownups for ruining her Thanksgiving. Well, she is the one who ate all the things, but she is a kid. She most likely felt that she would disappoint her parents by not eating their dinners. And, like I said earlier, Karen is too young to have the kind of self control that tells her "Hey. Don't eat all the things. You will get sick." I'm surprised Andrew didn't suffer the same fate, though.
Chapter 19
Lisa takes Karen and Andrew home and Karen tells her "Don't say any food words." I understand her completely there. Talking about food while I am sick WILL make me throw up. Whenever I got sick as a kid my parents used to be like "What did you eat? Was it the chicken? The watermelon? The hamburger?" etc etc etc and I was just like "STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD." Karen says that she never wants to do this again, and Elizabeth, one of the two sane parents (except in Karen's New Holiday) apologizes for the grownups' selfishness. Elizabeth is usually awesome, as is Seth. She was only an idiot in that one book, as far as I know. They head home.
Chapter 20
Karen talks to her friends about her terrible Thanksgiving. Pamela returns and reveals that she did not barf on Space Mountain. Since Karen is so fun to hate, can we think of it as karma that she was going on and on about how Pamela was going to barf...and SHE ended up being the one to barf instead? :D Of course, to one-up Pamela, Karen lies about how terrible her Thanksgiving was and goes on about OHHHH MY *TWO* THANKSGIVINGS WERE SOOOO FUN SO UP YOURS, PAMELA. Basically, Karen is always Karen. The attention is off Pamela and on Karen, and her mission is complete. The end.
The end!
Other parts of the snark:
Chapters 1 through 6
Chapters 7 through 14
Just as a recap: Distraught over being cast as a lowly turkey in the Thanksgiving play, Karen gets her teacher to add a song and dance number for all the food parts...but since this is Karen, it's of course only the building block for her master plan to ruin her "best enemy's" night by outshining her on stage. In the meantime, the grownups have gotten into some offscreen (but mentioned in an early chapter) fight about who the kids should have Thanksgiving with, and have decided they are to have two Thanksgiving dinners with both halves of the family...on the same day.
Chapter 15
Miss Colman pulls Karen aside about the little stunt she pulled. Of course, she doesn't punish her, but simply tells her what she did was wrong, mmkay. Karen walks away from it taking in absolutely nothing, and basks in the praise and attention the audience pulls her aside to give her. Of course she does. This is Ann's Mary Sue, after all. However, though she is well received by the audience, everyone in the class is pissed off at her for hogging the stage. And Natalie, the Mallory of the LS series, AWESOMELY tells her off...in a PARAGRAPH! :D She's like "Okay, so you write a song for the food parts claiming it's so we can all feel important...then you give the biggest part to YOURSELF without even TELLING us? Screw that!" And Pamela dances around her singing a little taunting song about her being a stage hog. But of course, Karen doesn't care, and snots, "You're just mad 'cause the audience liked you better!" For crying out loud, somebody throw a pie! (sorry for potato video quality) Pamela, however, is taking no shit and being like "Fuck this, in two days I'll be at Disneyworld and completely free of your bitchy self." GO PAMELA GO! Karen leaves having taken absolutely nothing from the experience and muses about Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Chapter 16
Karen skips breakfast to prepare for the two Thanksgiving meals, but that won't save her. D: Aww, she's getting all dressed up for Thanksgiving. I remember I did that until I was around sixteen. Now I just wear regular clothes on Thanksgiving (but I'm a Claudia, so..."regular" clothes. Yeah). Andrew is fighting with Lisa about wearing his suit. Lisa doesn't stop to think that he can just wear blue jeans WITH the suit. They'll just blend in anyway and he still has his "fancy" suit top on. :\ Cut the kid some slack. I've always been allowed pants under fancy skirts for special occassions. They're watching the Thanksgiving day parade, but unfortunately this is a decade before they get to see it be Rickrolled before Santa comes out. Sometimes I wonder how Karen, Andrew, and the BSC would react to Internet meme if the BSC books were set in this decade. I see Mary Anne going nuts with lolcats and Kristy posting all the disapproving face/passive-aggressive reaction gifs in the world. Karen's grandparents have arrived from Nebraska (featured in Karen's Plane Trip and Karen's Movie. I HOPE that this grandad isn't the one who dies in Karen's Grandad. D: He was sweet). More relatives show up, and there's eight people around the Thanksgiving table (as opposed to fucking 30+ in Kristy's superspecialawesome Thanksgiving idea in Claudia and the First Thanksgiving -_-). Karen is unable to control herself from eating too much food because she is SEVEN and has no concept of that kind of self control yet. Which is why this is a bad idea. Why not just have them on different days, GEEZ.
Chapter 17
Karen and Andrew show up at the Big House and eat some more after just eating a ton. Emily is wearing a dress that is way too fancy and done-up for a girl her age. She's just going to spill things on it or take a shit in it. I never understood dressing babies and toddlers in super fancy dresses. They're inevitably going to mess it up. In her very first attempt at snark, Emily yells "Turkey!" when Karen shows up. LOL you go Emily. They can't eat yet because Karen and Andrew just ate, which irritates the other kids in the family. This is ANOTHER reason why this was a bad idea. They have to hold up the great Thanksgiving feast for everyone else in the house just because two people who really could've just come on another day had already JUST eaten a huge feast. Karen and Andrew feel bad, but they shouldn't. Watson and Lisa should feel bad. When it's finally feast time, Karen attempts to eat it all--the book makes it sound like she's doing so out of politeness--but Andrew can't eat another bite. Finally, after dessert, Karen gets a stomachache, as predicted.
Chapter 18
Watson takes Karen to the bedroom to lie down, and to add insult to injury not only is she sick but she's afraid of messing up her fancy dress by wrinkling it or barfing. ): As predicted, Emily has taken a shit on her dress and must be changed. -_- Seriously, wait another year or two for the fancy dresses. When Lisa comes to pick the kids up, Watson, in a rare moment of civility, actually allows her into the house. LE GASP! He tells her that Andrew is asleep and Karen is sick, and she can't pick the kids up yet. Karen is angry at the grownups for ruining her Thanksgiving. Well, she is the one who ate all the things, but she is a kid. She most likely felt that she would disappoint her parents by not eating their dinners. And, like I said earlier, Karen is too young to have the kind of self control that tells her "Hey. Don't eat all the things. You will get sick." I'm surprised Andrew didn't suffer the same fate, though.
Chapter 19
Lisa takes Karen and Andrew home and Karen tells her "Don't say any food words." I understand her completely there. Talking about food while I am sick WILL make me throw up. Whenever I got sick as a kid my parents used to be like "What did you eat? Was it the chicken? The watermelon? The hamburger?" etc etc etc and I was just like "STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD." Karen says that she never wants to do this again, and Elizabeth, one of the two sane parents (except in Karen's New Holiday) apologizes for the grownups' selfishness. Elizabeth is usually awesome, as is Seth. She was only an idiot in that one book, as far as I know. They head home.
Chapter 20
Karen talks to her friends about her terrible Thanksgiving. Pamela returns and reveals that she did not barf on Space Mountain. Since Karen is so fun to hate, can we think of it as karma that she was going on and on about how Pamela was going to barf...and SHE ended up being the one to barf instead? :D Of course, to one-up Pamela, Karen lies about how terrible her Thanksgiving was and goes on about OHHHH MY *TWO* THANKSGIVINGS WERE SOOOO FUN SO UP YOURS, PAMELA. Basically, Karen is always Karen. The attention is off Pamela and on Karen, and her mission is complete. The end.
The end!