Portrait Collection: Dawn's Book Chapters 6-10
Chapter 6
Dawn’s life is going swimmingly right now. She has great friends and a great family. She says that we shouldn’t consider her and her best friends to be one of those obnoxious cliques. I don’t consider Dawn and her California friends to be an obnoxious clique. I sure as hell consider the BSC to be an obnoxious clique. Just because a person likes to hang out with their friends doesn’t mean that they’re an obnoxious clique. Some people like hanging out with their friends. I consider people obnoxious cliques when they look down on anyone that isn’t a member of their group.
Sunny and Dawn’s families are friends. I like to imagine the parents getting high and then engaging in orgies. The Winslows aren’t as weird as they were before. They didn’t paint their new car and they didn’t arrange flowers in the shape of a peace symbol. It’s a good thing Dawn pointed out that the Winslows weren’t as weird anymore. If she hadn’t pointed that out I would have thought that she’d continued to be friends with the weird hippie neighbors. I wonder if Dawn secretly breathed a sigh of relief that the Winslows were acting normal so she wouldn’t be judged for being friends with that weird hippie chick. A cynical part of me thinks that once Sunny’s fifteen minutes of fame ended and Dawn couldn’t milk being her friend anymore she’d go right back to avoiding Sunny.
Right now Sunny and Dawn’s families are on a picnic at the beach. Sunny asks Dawn what she thinks is pouring out of the Big Dipper. Jeff thinks it’s green slime. This makes me think of Nickelodeon and how I wanted to go on Legends of the Hidden Temple, even though the Temple Guards scared me. Dawn thinks that the Big Dipper is pouring out meteors and Sunny thinks it’s pouring out love. My mind jumps to the gutter when I see the phrase pouring out love, especially since I was about to abbreviate the Big Dipper as BD or Big D and remembered what those could stand for.
When they’re leaving to go home Sharon says that Dawn’s grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Dawn’s family wants to do something special for the 50th wedding anniversary. Jack suggests planning a dinner, but Sharon says it would be difficult to plan a party on the phone. Difficult, maybe, but not impossible. I’ve seen it happen. My family planned my mom’s 50th birthday celebration on the phone. Every weekend my mom and my aunts would talk all day about the party for almost a year. The party was being held in Trinidad during winter break and we had to discuss decorations, food, who was coming down when, who was rooming with who, who was being invited to the party, etc. I liked to tease my mom about how long it took them to plan the party. Of course there were a few people in attendance- my mom, dad, brother, and me, my granny and grandpa, my Auntie K and Uncle R, my Auntie A and Uncle M, my cousins A, T, and S and my cousin in law, my cousin also named A and his wife, my Uncle D, my other Uncle D, my cousin J, and that’s just immediate family I’ve seen all my life. Then we invited a bunch of family friends which is a lot because according to my mom Trinidad is such a small island that lots of people know each other. So planning a party on the phone may have been difficult, but it is possible. Of course the party was planned in a year so there was lots of time to discuss details.
Sharon suggests treating her parents to a special vacation that would be extra special because they’d go as well. There are some people that might think it’d be more romantic to send the couple on an extra special vacation by themselves. Jeff suggests taking Granny and Pop-Pop to a dude ranch in Colorado. Sharon points out that her parents are old and aren’t into horseback riding. Dawn wants to take her grandparents to a Caribbean resort. This amuses me because both my parents are from the Caribbean. We always just go to my grandparents’ house in Trinidad and do nothing. Well, we go to the beach sometimes, but most of the time we just hang around the house. We went to Jamaica once for my dad’s 50th birthday. We climbed a waterfall and pet dolphins. Then I took a Caribbean history course in college and there was a video about Jamaica. I was just thinking, “That shit never happened to us when we went there. We never got to ride in limos or had drinks delivered to us on the beach.” Of course the people in the video could probably afford it.
Sharon vetoes this idea as well. Dawn suggests New York and Sharon says they live so close to New York that they spend all their special occasions there. Yeah, sometimes it gets boring going to only one place for vacation every year. Dawn wants to make sure that her grandparents don’t have plans for their 50th anniversary, so Sharon calls them to make sure they don’t have any plans. Sharon tells her parents to keep their 50th anniversary weekend free. Sharon and her family haven’t decided how to celebrate as yet. Inspiration hits when Sharon sings a song mentioning San Francisco and Jack gets the idea to celebrate Granny and Pop-Pop’s golden anniversary in the city of the Golden Gate.
Dawn goes to a bookstore to get a book on San Francisco and she and Jeff write down all the things they want to do.
Cable car tour
Hike along Golden Gate Promenade (3 miles)
Hike over Golden Gate Bridge (2 miles)
Steinhart Aquarium
San Francisco Zoo
Filbert steps (with 377 steps to climb)
City of 42 hills (count them!)
Fort Funston 9walk down cliff to beach)
Fisherman’s Wharf
Chinatown
Sharon points out that Granny and Pop-Pop are elderly and might have a hard time with the hiking. Dawn plaintively asks if they can do anything. I’d like to point out that this trip is to treat Granny and Pop-Pop, not a piggy-back vacation for Dawn and Jeff. Maybe they could ask Granny and Pop-Pop if there’s anything particular in San Francisco that they want to do. How long are they staying in San Francisco anyway? I thought they were celebrating on the weekend. Do they have enough time to do all those activities in just one weekend? I don’t mind taking walks, but I really don’t feel like climbing 377 steps. I like the beach as well, but I’d be afraid I’d fall down the cliff to the beach.
Dawn and Jeff fly to San Franciso and Granny and Pop-Pop’s plane lands an hour after. Everyone’s busy crying and Jeff wants to know why. I guess it’s because they haven’t seen each other in a while. My mom always gets teary-eyed when she’s saying hello to her parents or leaving them because she doesn’t know how much time she has left with them. I’m the type of person that gets embarrassed with a bunch of hugging, kissing, and crying, so I probably would have just hugged my grandparents and hung back awkwardly. It turns out that Granny and Pop-Pop want to do some of the activities that Dawn and Jeff originally wanted to do.
Chapter 7
Sharon wants her parents to go to the hotel and rest, but they want to go to Chinatown. Dawn notices that her parents are holding hands, but her grandparents aren’t. Her grandparents aren’t even walking together. Granny is walking with Jeff and Pop-Pop is walking with Dawn. Maybe Granny and Pop-Pop aren’t into public displays of affection. Some couples aren’t. My parents don’t hold hands when they walk and I’m not worried that they’ll get a divorce. Maybe Granny and Pop-Pop also wanted to spend some quality time with their grandkids. I guess this is supposed to start off Dawn worrying that her grandparents don’t love each other because she worries that their marriage is a sham whenever her grandparents tease each other or aren’t acting lovey-dovey.
Dawn wakes up and goes downstairs. Her grandparents are already up and discussing what to do. Granny wants to split up because there’s so much to do. Sharon agrees and tells them that they’ll meet for dinner tonight. Jeff says it’s going to be a special dinner and Dawn kicks him because it was supposed to be a surprise. I think Granny and Pop-Pop have enough years under their belt to figure out the others might be planning a special dinner since it’s their golden anniversary. There was this one time we tried to surprise my Grandpa. I forgot what it was, but it was a secret, so it was all cloak and dagger. But then Grandpa figured out what was going on, so the plan was canceled. I remember that was the first time I had chicken on pizza. And I remember we had to go to church for some reason, but all the guys stayed outside, so my mom and aunts were really pissed off.
They do some stuff in San Francisco and decide to split up. Pop Pop doesn’t want to eat at a vegetarian restaurant because he doesn’t want to each broccoli and carrots. I’m sure the restaurant will have more of a variety than just carrots and broccoli. I like carrots and broccoli. I just require that the carrots be raw or have some sort of crunch if they’re cooked. I despise soft carrots. Pop Pop wants to eat fish at one of the outdoor places and he doesn’t want to go shopping when it’s such a nice day out. Granny says that they’ll have to split up again in a huff. I’m quite sure couples have lasted despite wanting to do different activities at the same time. Dawn’s parents kiss each other good-bye, but Granny and Pop-Pop don’t. It could be possible that Jack and Sharon are more into public displays of affection than Granny and Pop-Pop. I’m not much of a touchy-feely person, so I can’t see myself kissing my boyfriend good-bye. Dawn is upset because her grandparents are sniping at each other. First of all, couples argue. I’m pretty sure a couple would argue after 50 years of being married. It doesn’t have to be screaming matches, either. My mom has expressed annoyance with my father for not cleaning up after himself when he comes in with muddy shoes. Couples will disagree from time to time. It’s also possible that Granny and Pop-Pop are just teasing each other and there’s no malicious intent in their words. I’m a sarcastic person and once I get to know a person, my sarcasm tends to come out and I tease them. However, I don’t mean anything bad by it and my friends know I’m teasing. Maybe Dawn doesn’t see her grandparents enough to realize that they’re teasing each other without malicious intent.
Dawn, Sharon, and Granny go out to eat. Granny is stunned that she’s eating outside in March. Is the weather that horrible in Connecticut? I know it’s colder in Connecticut in March, but would it be possible to eat outside if a person is wearing jacket or a sweater? Is it snowing in Connecticut in March? They go shopping after and Granny buys a really nice blue dress and say it’ll be her anniversary present to herself because after 50 years of being married to her husband she deserves something. Dawn is sad because she still doesn’t realize that her grandmother is joking. Some couples express their affection by teasing. But Dawn admits that she doesn’t see her grandparents very often, so she probably doesn’t realize that they are in love; they’re just not sappy about it. Maybe Dawn is also too young to realize that couples don’t have to be all mushy every second of the day for them to be in love. Dawn knows that her parents will be madly in love when they celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Chapter 8
Dawn, Sharon, and Granny go back to the hotel to freshen up for dinner. Pop-Pop is going to meet them at the restaurant because he wants to walk around some more before meeting them at the hotel. He likes wandering around in strange cities. Dawn is disappointed that Pop-Pop isn’t going to dress up for his special anniversary dinner but Sharon reminds her that he doesn’t know that. There are some people that wouldn’t dress up even if they knew it was a special anniversary dinner or other special occasion. I have a feeling Kristy would wear jeans and a turtleneck to a formal dinner unless her mother told her to put on something decent, or clean clothes at the very least. I can also imagine her not knowing appropriate dinner table conversation and making really gross jokes. After all, table manners and etiquette are for losers that aren’t named Kristin Amanda Thomas.
Granny says Pop-Pop is probably waiting for them at the restaurant because he’s always so punctual. He isn’t at the restaurant. Well, he was walking. It might take someone longer to arrive at a destination when they’re walking versus when they’re driving. They wait for ten minutes and Pop-Pop hasn’t shown up. Granny asks Jack how many oysters Pop-Pop ate ad Jack says Pop-Pop ate twelve. Granny immediately thinks that Pop-Pop is sick from the oysters. Sharon is more logical and says that Pop-Pop is probably fine and just got a little lost or caught up in a tourist attraction. That’s very true. Pop-Pop is wandering by himself in a strange city. People could get lost in strange cities. It would also take a longer time for him to arrive at the restaurant because he’s walking and could have gotten lost. It’s also possible that he lost track of time because he got caught up in something. My parents are both punctual, but there have been times when they were late picking me up or coming home. I just assumed there was a perfectly logical explanation. One of my aunts could have called when they were leaving, there could have been a traffic jam, they could have had to stop to get gas, my dad could have gotten held up at work, etc. If my parents are running ten minutes late, I don’t automatically think that they’ve been murdered or had a car accident. I would just assume that there’s a simple, logical explanation.
There was this one time when I was getting irrationally annoyed at my mom for not answering her phone. She had dropped me off at school and she didn’t want to go back home then come pick me up again, so she was going to hang out at the shoe store a few minutes away. I got out of class early and called her more than once, but she didn’t answer. Instead of thinking that she probably couldn’t hear her phone (which is usually the case- she never hears it ringing so I don’t know why she even has the phone) or her phone was dead, I was just thinking, “Why isn’t she answering the phone? Suppose I’d been kidnapped and was calling to tell Mom my last good-bye before I was killed?” But then I went and got a coffee, realized I was being ridiculous, laughed at myself, and read until Mom called.
Granny refuses to accept Sharon’s logic because she and Pop-Pop have always split up when they travel and meet at the restaurant and Pop-Pop has always gotten there earlier because he doesn’t want Granny to worry. So after 50 years of traveling, Pop-Pop has never gotten lost, lost track of time, forgotten about the dinner, or experienced any completely logical delays? I would still just assume that there was a logical explanation for my husband being late before I thought he had been stabbed or gotten sick from oysters and was now on the ground and unable to move. Dawn checks to see if there’s another restaurant called the Equinox, but there isn’t. They also call the hotel and Pop-Pop hasn’t been there as well.
Granny wants to call the police and hospitals at 8:00. Pop-Pop has only been absent for thirty minutes. I don’t know if police will file a missing persons report because a grown-man is thirty minutes late to dinner. Thankfully, Pop-Pop comes in and everyone rushes to hug him. Granny is crying, so Pop-Pop goes to comfort her. I wouldn’t be crying because my husband was thirty minutes late to a dinner. Maybe if he was a few hours late, but not thirty minutes. I would just think he had a very logical explanation. Pop-Pop says he thought dinner was at eight because that’s what Jeff told him. Dawn says that they were also meeting at 7:30. Why were they meeting at 7:30 if dinner was at eight? Were they planning to take pictures or something before they ate? Were they going to a dinner show? I went to a dinner show with my family on Christmas and the dinner started around eight, but we got there earlier because we had to hand in our tickets and visit the gift shop and get our photos taken.
I don’t understand why you would meet at the restaurant half-an-hour earlier than when dinner was supposed to be. What am I supposed to do for 30 minutes until it’s time for dinner? Did they want to explore the restaurant or something? What were they going to do for thirty minutes? Take pictures, explore the restaurant, exchange gifts-what? The Schafers have also made a reservation. The restaurant is really nice. Dawn orders chicken. So when did Dawn become a vegetarian? I can never remember Dawn’s deal with food. Is she a vegetarian or does she just not eat meat very much? Does she not eat meat for health reasons, ethical reasons, or both? Did she grow up in a house that liked to eat healthy? Was there a specific instance that made her want to stop eating meat and junk food? Did she decide to try being a vegetarian for a time? I just can’t keep up with Dawn’s eating habits.
Dawn and Jeff give their grandparents school photos in gold frames and say when they send school photos again they can take the old photos out and put in new ones. I’m imagining the grandparents throwing away the old photos now. Dawn is finally realizing that her grandparents are playfully teasing each other as well. Granny gives Pop-Pop a gold watch engraved with their initials and the words, “Our love endures.”
Pop-Pop has recreated his proposal by dropping a ring in Granny’s water glass when she wasn’t looking and asking her to take a drink. I was wondering how Granny got the ring out of the glass but the book says she used a spoon. Before I saw that line I was just wondering if Granny poured the water out or if she stuck her hand in the glass and tried to fish the ring out. Then I also wondered, “Suppose Granny didn’t see the ring?” I wonder if Pop-Pop yelling out that he put a ring in her glass of water would have dampened the romance. Then I wondered what would have happened if Granny was drinking Coke or Pepsi or a drink that wasn’t clear, so she wouldn’t be able to see the ring. Maybe Pop-Pop would have figured out a different was to propose if there was a danger Granny couldn’t see the ring and could accidentally swallow it.
Dawn wishes she could have a marriage like her grandparents. Her grandparents wish Sharon and Jack luck with their marriage and Dawn knows her parents can make it.
Chapter 9
It turns out Dawn’s parents aren’t going to make it. Their marriage isn’t going to last 50 years. Dawn is twelve now and her parents’ marriage is in big trouble. Dawn tries to ignore this. One of the ways she ignores this is spending time out of the house. Dawn isn’t afraid of her parents getting a divorce. She’s afraid of fire. She’s always had a fear of fire. Why don’t you just use your super-special water powers to douse any fires? The way Dawn was going on about how she was so connected to the ocean you’d think she became the Planeter that could control water or a water-bender. Dawn is afraid when people lights candles. I guess that means she didn’t blow out any candles on her birthday cake. She also worries that her house is on fire whenever she hears a fire truck. I’m going to assume that’s when she can’t see her house. If Dawn is in her house when there’s a fire, it could be possible that she would know there was a fire. If she was at Sunny’s but could still see her house, she could see whether or not her house was on fire as well. Then an incident happens that justifies Dawn’s fear of fire.
Dawn’s family and the Winslows are having a barbeque. I guess Dawn is going to eat barbeque because I see no mention of an alternative for her. Was there a specific incident where Dawn decided she was going to try to eat more healthy foods? Anyway, her dad is manning the grill when a coal pops out and lands on a pile of newspapers. The situation is handled relatively quickly and no one is hurt, but Dawn is freaking out because their house could have burned down or the whole neighborhood could have been destroyed. Yes, but everything is fine, so Dawn can calm down. When I trip and nearly fall I don’t think, “I could have broken my neck!” I just think, “That was embarrassing/ what a close call.”
Dawn comes up with a plan to ensure her family’s safety against fire. Here’s a list.
Check batteries in smoke alarm
Put fire extinguisher in the kitchen and in the backyard (near barbecue grill)
Plan and post evacuation routes
Conduct fire drills
Practice opening and climbing out bedroom windows with eyes closed
Put important papers and family photos in a fireproof box
Jeff wants to try opening the window with his eyes closed, but his father tells him to wait after dinner. Jeff asks what if there’s a fire and he doesn’t know how to get out. Jeff is nine now, right? Shouldn’t he have learned by now to just run out the nearest exit? We had fire safety education in first grade. If there’s a fire in my house, I’m just running out the front door or whichever route is the closest and isn’t blocked by fire. When I was in eighth grade and we were practicing fire drills I was just thinking, “Yeah, I’m just going to climb out the window. I can open it, I can fit through it, and we’re on the first floor. I’m not going down this corridor, then making a left, then going past the gym, then stopping at the old oak tree.”
Jack says that Jeff could go out the back door, but Jeff says the back door is on fire. Jack says to go out the front door instead of climbing through windows with his eyes closed. Dawn says they’ll plan escape routes later. I wonder if Dawn’s parents have ever talked to her about her fear or fire and proper fire safety. I can see Dawn learning what to do in the event of a fire and then panicking because the instructions weren’t clear on a point.
Dawn asks Jeff what he’ll save if there’s a fire. Jeff says he’ll save his model airplanes, video games, and bank. No, you fool. Saving model airplanes and video games makes you look like a heartless, materialistic asshole. You also can’t save your family members because that means you’ve been brainwashed by evil pageants. No, wait, Jeff is a boy. He wouldn’t have been exposed to evil pageants. Jeff is supposed to be creative and save a lucky (or was it magic) penny so he could wish everything back to normal or a photo album so he could always have the memories.
Hilariously, Dawn says that the safest thing to do is to take nothing and just get out of the house. I would have been amused if one of the kids in LMS said this.
Dawn waits until her family is asleep before making a bunch of racket and screaming that the house is on fire. I wonder if Dawn did this just to be obnoxious. I know fires can occur at night, but they can also occur during the day. Didn’t the almost-fire at the barbeque happen during the day? Dawn’s parents ask her what she’s doing because it’s a school night. I would have scolded her for waking me up and pretending there was a fire when there wasn’t one. Dawn says this is a fire drill and to go out the front door. Sharon protests because she can’t go outside in her nightgown. I don’t know if people would stop to consider the fact that they’re in a nightgown if there was a fire. Maybe if the fire was mild they might be able to grab a robe, but if there’s a fire, I’m just running outside in whatever I’m wearing. I just hope I’m not in the shower if there’s a fire.
Dawn insists that this is necessary because Jeff slept through the fire drill. I like to think that Jeff woke up, realized that there wasn’t a fire and it was just Dawn taking fire safety too seriously, and went back to sleep. I’m sure Dawn is the type of person to pull the school fire alarm to access whether her school is properly equipped to handle a fire. She would also do that at work. When she got called on it she would just self-righteously say that fire safety was very important and that the school or her workplace obviously didn’t care about fire safety. Maybe she would also pull the fire alarm to see what people would save in a fire.
The doorbell rings. Jack thinks that Dawn woke up the neighbors. Dawn thinks she’ll extend her fire safety program to the entire block. I hope the neighbors are coming to yell at Dawn for making a giant racket. It’s not the neighbors. Jeff crawled out the window like Jeff said, but he kept hold of his Gameboy. Dawn doesn’t yell at Jeff because he was the only one that responded to her fire drill. Yeah, if my twelve-year-old woke me up in the middle of the night and it was just a fire drill I would have told her to go back to bed.
On Saturday Dawn is still acting like she’s the only one who knows anything about fire safety and her parents don’t know how to operate a fire extinguisher or plan escape routes. She’s going to babysit for Clover and Daffodil later that day.
Chapter 10
Dawn walks over to their house. The girls disagree on what to play. One of them wants to play school and the other wants to play with her colored pencils. Dawn solves the problem by suggesting they combine the games. Mrs. Austin says that Dawn is a master of negotiation and should run for public office. I can’t form words to express my horror at Dawn Schafer holding a public office position. Or Kristy Thomas, for that matter. Dawn likes babysitting because it’s so creative. She can think of fun games to play with the kids. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it might be a nice idea to give the kids a chance to come up with a game. They might just sit around with their thumbs up their butts waiting for you to think of what to do. Or they might get annoyed that you’re always telling them what to play and call you bossy. It’s a miracle Dawn hasn’t tried any of her fire safety stuff on Clover and Daffodil. Daffodil wants the class to draw a picture that illustrated their first names. Clover and Daffodil can draw their first names and so can Dawn. My real name’s Dakota. Should I just draw the state North Dakota or South Dakota to represent my name? No, wait, it can be abstract. In that case I’m drawing a purple book because I like to read and purple is my favorite color. And I’m pretty sure I can draw a book. My brother and cousin are better artists than I am.
The girls start to eat their snacks when Dawn smells smoke. She checks electrical appliances and notes that everything is fine. She can still smell smoke and can see it now. The girls’ eyes start to water. Dawn calmly tells the girls that they’re leaving the house and goes through the nearest exit. I wonder if Dawn mapped out fire escape routes in other houses. Did she question Sunny’s family about their fire safety habits? Did she worry what would happen if she slept over at Sunny’s house and there was a fire? If there was a fire at Dawn’s house, would she just go out the nearest exit or follow a preplanned escape route? Mrs. Austin is a weaver, so her work might be destroyed.
Dawn takes Clover and Daffodil to her house and calls the fire department.
Dawn’s life is going swimmingly right now. She has great friends and a great family. She says that we shouldn’t consider her and her best friends to be one of those obnoxious cliques. I don’t consider Dawn and her California friends to be an obnoxious clique. I sure as hell consider the BSC to be an obnoxious clique. Just because a person likes to hang out with their friends doesn’t mean that they’re an obnoxious clique. Some people like hanging out with their friends. I consider people obnoxious cliques when they look down on anyone that isn’t a member of their group.
Sunny and Dawn’s families are friends. I like to imagine the parents getting high and then engaging in orgies. The Winslows aren’t as weird as they were before. They didn’t paint their new car and they didn’t arrange flowers in the shape of a peace symbol. It’s a good thing Dawn pointed out that the Winslows weren’t as weird anymore. If she hadn’t pointed that out I would have thought that she’d continued to be friends with the weird hippie neighbors. I wonder if Dawn secretly breathed a sigh of relief that the Winslows were acting normal so she wouldn’t be judged for being friends with that weird hippie chick. A cynical part of me thinks that once Sunny’s fifteen minutes of fame ended and Dawn couldn’t milk being her friend anymore she’d go right back to avoiding Sunny.
Right now Sunny and Dawn’s families are on a picnic at the beach. Sunny asks Dawn what she thinks is pouring out of the Big Dipper. Jeff thinks it’s green slime. This makes me think of Nickelodeon and how I wanted to go on Legends of the Hidden Temple, even though the Temple Guards scared me. Dawn thinks that the Big Dipper is pouring out meteors and Sunny thinks it’s pouring out love. My mind jumps to the gutter when I see the phrase pouring out love, especially since I was about to abbreviate the Big Dipper as BD or Big D and remembered what those could stand for.
When they’re leaving to go home Sharon says that Dawn’s grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Dawn’s family wants to do something special for the 50th wedding anniversary. Jack suggests planning a dinner, but Sharon says it would be difficult to plan a party on the phone. Difficult, maybe, but not impossible. I’ve seen it happen. My family planned my mom’s 50th birthday celebration on the phone. Every weekend my mom and my aunts would talk all day about the party for almost a year. The party was being held in Trinidad during winter break and we had to discuss decorations, food, who was coming down when, who was rooming with who, who was being invited to the party, etc. I liked to tease my mom about how long it took them to plan the party. Of course there were a few people in attendance- my mom, dad, brother, and me, my granny and grandpa, my Auntie K and Uncle R, my Auntie A and Uncle M, my cousins A, T, and S and my cousin in law, my cousin also named A and his wife, my Uncle D, my other Uncle D, my cousin J, and that’s just immediate family I’ve seen all my life. Then we invited a bunch of family friends which is a lot because according to my mom Trinidad is such a small island that lots of people know each other. So planning a party on the phone may have been difficult, but it is possible. Of course the party was planned in a year so there was lots of time to discuss details.
Sharon suggests treating her parents to a special vacation that would be extra special because they’d go as well. There are some people that might think it’d be more romantic to send the couple on an extra special vacation by themselves. Jeff suggests taking Granny and Pop-Pop to a dude ranch in Colorado. Sharon points out that her parents are old and aren’t into horseback riding. Dawn wants to take her grandparents to a Caribbean resort. This amuses me because both my parents are from the Caribbean. We always just go to my grandparents’ house in Trinidad and do nothing. Well, we go to the beach sometimes, but most of the time we just hang around the house. We went to Jamaica once for my dad’s 50th birthday. We climbed a waterfall and pet dolphins. Then I took a Caribbean history course in college and there was a video about Jamaica. I was just thinking, “That shit never happened to us when we went there. We never got to ride in limos or had drinks delivered to us on the beach.” Of course the people in the video could probably afford it.
Sharon vetoes this idea as well. Dawn suggests New York and Sharon says they live so close to New York that they spend all their special occasions there. Yeah, sometimes it gets boring going to only one place for vacation every year. Dawn wants to make sure that her grandparents don’t have plans for their 50th anniversary, so Sharon calls them to make sure they don’t have any plans. Sharon tells her parents to keep their 50th anniversary weekend free. Sharon and her family haven’t decided how to celebrate as yet. Inspiration hits when Sharon sings a song mentioning San Francisco and Jack gets the idea to celebrate Granny and Pop-Pop’s golden anniversary in the city of the Golden Gate.
Dawn goes to a bookstore to get a book on San Francisco and she and Jeff write down all the things they want to do.
Cable car tour
Hike along Golden Gate Promenade (3 miles)
Hike over Golden Gate Bridge (2 miles)
Steinhart Aquarium
San Francisco Zoo
Filbert steps (with 377 steps to climb)
City of 42 hills (count them!)
Fort Funston 9walk down cliff to beach)
Fisherman’s Wharf
Chinatown
Sharon points out that Granny and Pop-Pop are elderly and might have a hard time with the hiking. Dawn plaintively asks if they can do anything. I’d like to point out that this trip is to treat Granny and Pop-Pop, not a piggy-back vacation for Dawn and Jeff. Maybe they could ask Granny and Pop-Pop if there’s anything particular in San Francisco that they want to do. How long are they staying in San Francisco anyway? I thought they were celebrating on the weekend. Do they have enough time to do all those activities in just one weekend? I don’t mind taking walks, but I really don’t feel like climbing 377 steps. I like the beach as well, but I’d be afraid I’d fall down the cliff to the beach.
Dawn and Jeff fly to San Franciso and Granny and Pop-Pop’s plane lands an hour after. Everyone’s busy crying and Jeff wants to know why. I guess it’s because they haven’t seen each other in a while. My mom always gets teary-eyed when she’s saying hello to her parents or leaving them because she doesn’t know how much time she has left with them. I’m the type of person that gets embarrassed with a bunch of hugging, kissing, and crying, so I probably would have just hugged my grandparents and hung back awkwardly. It turns out that Granny and Pop-Pop want to do some of the activities that Dawn and Jeff originally wanted to do.
Chapter 7
Sharon wants her parents to go to the hotel and rest, but they want to go to Chinatown. Dawn notices that her parents are holding hands, but her grandparents aren’t. Her grandparents aren’t even walking together. Granny is walking with Jeff and Pop-Pop is walking with Dawn. Maybe Granny and Pop-Pop aren’t into public displays of affection. Some couples aren’t. My parents don’t hold hands when they walk and I’m not worried that they’ll get a divorce. Maybe Granny and Pop-Pop also wanted to spend some quality time with their grandkids. I guess this is supposed to start off Dawn worrying that her grandparents don’t love each other because she worries that their marriage is a sham whenever her grandparents tease each other or aren’t acting lovey-dovey.
Dawn wakes up and goes downstairs. Her grandparents are already up and discussing what to do. Granny wants to split up because there’s so much to do. Sharon agrees and tells them that they’ll meet for dinner tonight. Jeff says it’s going to be a special dinner and Dawn kicks him because it was supposed to be a surprise. I think Granny and Pop-Pop have enough years under their belt to figure out the others might be planning a special dinner since it’s their golden anniversary. There was this one time we tried to surprise my Grandpa. I forgot what it was, but it was a secret, so it was all cloak and dagger. But then Grandpa figured out what was going on, so the plan was canceled. I remember that was the first time I had chicken on pizza. And I remember we had to go to church for some reason, but all the guys stayed outside, so my mom and aunts were really pissed off.
They do some stuff in San Francisco and decide to split up. Pop Pop doesn’t want to eat at a vegetarian restaurant because he doesn’t want to each broccoli and carrots. I’m sure the restaurant will have more of a variety than just carrots and broccoli. I like carrots and broccoli. I just require that the carrots be raw or have some sort of crunch if they’re cooked. I despise soft carrots. Pop Pop wants to eat fish at one of the outdoor places and he doesn’t want to go shopping when it’s such a nice day out. Granny says that they’ll have to split up again in a huff. I’m quite sure couples have lasted despite wanting to do different activities at the same time. Dawn’s parents kiss each other good-bye, but Granny and Pop-Pop don’t. It could be possible that Jack and Sharon are more into public displays of affection than Granny and Pop-Pop. I’m not much of a touchy-feely person, so I can’t see myself kissing my boyfriend good-bye. Dawn is upset because her grandparents are sniping at each other. First of all, couples argue. I’m pretty sure a couple would argue after 50 years of being married. It doesn’t have to be screaming matches, either. My mom has expressed annoyance with my father for not cleaning up after himself when he comes in with muddy shoes. Couples will disagree from time to time. It’s also possible that Granny and Pop-Pop are just teasing each other and there’s no malicious intent in their words. I’m a sarcastic person and once I get to know a person, my sarcasm tends to come out and I tease them. However, I don’t mean anything bad by it and my friends know I’m teasing. Maybe Dawn doesn’t see her grandparents enough to realize that they’re teasing each other without malicious intent.
Dawn, Sharon, and Granny go out to eat. Granny is stunned that she’s eating outside in March. Is the weather that horrible in Connecticut? I know it’s colder in Connecticut in March, but would it be possible to eat outside if a person is wearing jacket or a sweater? Is it snowing in Connecticut in March? They go shopping after and Granny buys a really nice blue dress and say it’ll be her anniversary present to herself because after 50 years of being married to her husband she deserves something. Dawn is sad because she still doesn’t realize that her grandmother is joking. Some couples express their affection by teasing. But Dawn admits that she doesn’t see her grandparents very often, so she probably doesn’t realize that they are in love; they’re just not sappy about it. Maybe Dawn is also too young to realize that couples don’t have to be all mushy every second of the day for them to be in love. Dawn knows that her parents will be madly in love when they celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Chapter 8
Dawn, Sharon, and Granny go back to the hotel to freshen up for dinner. Pop-Pop is going to meet them at the restaurant because he wants to walk around some more before meeting them at the hotel. He likes wandering around in strange cities. Dawn is disappointed that Pop-Pop isn’t going to dress up for his special anniversary dinner but Sharon reminds her that he doesn’t know that. There are some people that wouldn’t dress up even if they knew it was a special anniversary dinner or other special occasion. I have a feeling Kristy would wear jeans and a turtleneck to a formal dinner unless her mother told her to put on something decent, or clean clothes at the very least. I can also imagine her not knowing appropriate dinner table conversation and making really gross jokes. After all, table manners and etiquette are for losers that aren’t named Kristin Amanda Thomas.
Granny says Pop-Pop is probably waiting for them at the restaurant because he’s always so punctual. He isn’t at the restaurant. Well, he was walking. It might take someone longer to arrive at a destination when they’re walking versus when they’re driving. They wait for ten minutes and Pop-Pop hasn’t shown up. Granny asks Jack how many oysters Pop-Pop ate ad Jack says Pop-Pop ate twelve. Granny immediately thinks that Pop-Pop is sick from the oysters. Sharon is more logical and says that Pop-Pop is probably fine and just got a little lost or caught up in a tourist attraction. That’s very true. Pop-Pop is wandering by himself in a strange city. People could get lost in strange cities. It would also take a longer time for him to arrive at the restaurant because he’s walking and could have gotten lost. It’s also possible that he lost track of time because he got caught up in something. My parents are both punctual, but there have been times when they were late picking me up or coming home. I just assumed there was a perfectly logical explanation. One of my aunts could have called when they were leaving, there could have been a traffic jam, they could have had to stop to get gas, my dad could have gotten held up at work, etc. If my parents are running ten minutes late, I don’t automatically think that they’ve been murdered or had a car accident. I would just assume that there’s a simple, logical explanation.
There was this one time when I was getting irrationally annoyed at my mom for not answering her phone. She had dropped me off at school and she didn’t want to go back home then come pick me up again, so she was going to hang out at the shoe store a few minutes away. I got out of class early and called her more than once, but she didn’t answer. Instead of thinking that she probably couldn’t hear her phone (which is usually the case- she never hears it ringing so I don’t know why she even has the phone) or her phone was dead, I was just thinking, “Why isn’t she answering the phone? Suppose I’d been kidnapped and was calling to tell Mom my last good-bye before I was killed?” But then I went and got a coffee, realized I was being ridiculous, laughed at myself, and read until Mom called.
Granny refuses to accept Sharon’s logic because she and Pop-Pop have always split up when they travel and meet at the restaurant and Pop-Pop has always gotten there earlier because he doesn’t want Granny to worry. So after 50 years of traveling, Pop-Pop has never gotten lost, lost track of time, forgotten about the dinner, or experienced any completely logical delays? I would still just assume that there was a logical explanation for my husband being late before I thought he had been stabbed or gotten sick from oysters and was now on the ground and unable to move. Dawn checks to see if there’s another restaurant called the Equinox, but there isn’t. They also call the hotel and Pop-Pop hasn’t been there as well.
Granny wants to call the police and hospitals at 8:00. Pop-Pop has only been absent for thirty minutes. I don’t know if police will file a missing persons report because a grown-man is thirty minutes late to dinner. Thankfully, Pop-Pop comes in and everyone rushes to hug him. Granny is crying, so Pop-Pop goes to comfort her. I wouldn’t be crying because my husband was thirty minutes late to a dinner. Maybe if he was a few hours late, but not thirty minutes. I would just think he had a very logical explanation. Pop-Pop says he thought dinner was at eight because that’s what Jeff told him. Dawn says that they were also meeting at 7:30. Why were they meeting at 7:30 if dinner was at eight? Were they planning to take pictures or something before they ate? Were they going to a dinner show? I went to a dinner show with my family on Christmas and the dinner started around eight, but we got there earlier because we had to hand in our tickets and visit the gift shop and get our photos taken.
I don’t understand why you would meet at the restaurant half-an-hour earlier than when dinner was supposed to be. What am I supposed to do for 30 minutes until it’s time for dinner? Did they want to explore the restaurant or something? What were they going to do for thirty minutes? Take pictures, explore the restaurant, exchange gifts-what? The Schafers have also made a reservation. The restaurant is really nice. Dawn orders chicken. So when did Dawn become a vegetarian? I can never remember Dawn’s deal with food. Is she a vegetarian or does she just not eat meat very much? Does she not eat meat for health reasons, ethical reasons, or both? Did she grow up in a house that liked to eat healthy? Was there a specific instance that made her want to stop eating meat and junk food? Did she decide to try being a vegetarian for a time? I just can’t keep up with Dawn’s eating habits.
Dawn and Jeff give their grandparents school photos in gold frames and say when they send school photos again they can take the old photos out and put in new ones. I’m imagining the grandparents throwing away the old photos now. Dawn is finally realizing that her grandparents are playfully teasing each other as well. Granny gives Pop-Pop a gold watch engraved with their initials and the words, “Our love endures.”
Pop-Pop has recreated his proposal by dropping a ring in Granny’s water glass when she wasn’t looking and asking her to take a drink. I was wondering how Granny got the ring out of the glass but the book says she used a spoon. Before I saw that line I was just wondering if Granny poured the water out or if she stuck her hand in the glass and tried to fish the ring out. Then I also wondered, “Suppose Granny didn’t see the ring?” I wonder if Pop-Pop yelling out that he put a ring in her glass of water would have dampened the romance. Then I wondered what would have happened if Granny was drinking Coke or Pepsi or a drink that wasn’t clear, so she wouldn’t be able to see the ring. Maybe Pop-Pop would have figured out a different was to propose if there was a danger Granny couldn’t see the ring and could accidentally swallow it.
Dawn wishes she could have a marriage like her grandparents. Her grandparents wish Sharon and Jack luck with their marriage and Dawn knows her parents can make it.
Chapter 9
It turns out Dawn’s parents aren’t going to make it. Their marriage isn’t going to last 50 years. Dawn is twelve now and her parents’ marriage is in big trouble. Dawn tries to ignore this. One of the ways she ignores this is spending time out of the house. Dawn isn’t afraid of her parents getting a divorce. She’s afraid of fire. She’s always had a fear of fire. Why don’t you just use your super-special water powers to douse any fires? The way Dawn was going on about how she was so connected to the ocean you’d think she became the Planeter that could control water or a water-bender. Dawn is afraid when people lights candles. I guess that means she didn’t blow out any candles on her birthday cake. She also worries that her house is on fire whenever she hears a fire truck. I’m going to assume that’s when she can’t see her house. If Dawn is in her house when there’s a fire, it could be possible that she would know there was a fire. If she was at Sunny’s but could still see her house, she could see whether or not her house was on fire as well. Then an incident happens that justifies Dawn’s fear of fire.
Dawn’s family and the Winslows are having a barbeque. I guess Dawn is going to eat barbeque because I see no mention of an alternative for her. Was there a specific incident where Dawn decided she was going to try to eat more healthy foods? Anyway, her dad is manning the grill when a coal pops out and lands on a pile of newspapers. The situation is handled relatively quickly and no one is hurt, but Dawn is freaking out because their house could have burned down or the whole neighborhood could have been destroyed. Yes, but everything is fine, so Dawn can calm down. When I trip and nearly fall I don’t think, “I could have broken my neck!” I just think, “That was embarrassing/ what a close call.”
Dawn comes up with a plan to ensure her family’s safety against fire. Here’s a list.
Check batteries in smoke alarm
Put fire extinguisher in the kitchen and in the backyard (near barbecue grill)
Plan and post evacuation routes
Conduct fire drills
Practice opening and climbing out bedroom windows with eyes closed
Put important papers and family photos in a fireproof box
Jeff wants to try opening the window with his eyes closed, but his father tells him to wait after dinner. Jeff asks what if there’s a fire and he doesn’t know how to get out. Jeff is nine now, right? Shouldn’t he have learned by now to just run out the nearest exit? We had fire safety education in first grade. If there’s a fire in my house, I’m just running out the front door or whichever route is the closest and isn’t blocked by fire. When I was in eighth grade and we were practicing fire drills I was just thinking, “Yeah, I’m just going to climb out the window. I can open it, I can fit through it, and we’re on the first floor. I’m not going down this corridor, then making a left, then going past the gym, then stopping at the old oak tree.”
Jack says that Jeff could go out the back door, but Jeff says the back door is on fire. Jack says to go out the front door instead of climbing through windows with his eyes closed. Dawn says they’ll plan escape routes later. I wonder if Dawn’s parents have ever talked to her about her fear or fire and proper fire safety. I can see Dawn learning what to do in the event of a fire and then panicking because the instructions weren’t clear on a point.
Dawn asks Jeff what he’ll save if there’s a fire. Jeff says he’ll save his model airplanes, video games, and bank. No, you fool. Saving model airplanes and video games makes you look like a heartless, materialistic asshole. You also can’t save your family members because that means you’ve been brainwashed by evil pageants. No, wait, Jeff is a boy. He wouldn’t have been exposed to evil pageants. Jeff is supposed to be creative and save a lucky (or was it magic) penny so he could wish everything back to normal or a photo album so he could always have the memories.
Hilariously, Dawn says that the safest thing to do is to take nothing and just get out of the house. I would have been amused if one of the kids in LMS said this.
Dawn waits until her family is asleep before making a bunch of racket and screaming that the house is on fire. I wonder if Dawn did this just to be obnoxious. I know fires can occur at night, but they can also occur during the day. Didn’t the almost-fire at the barbeque happen during the day? Dawn’s parents ask her what she’s doing because it’s a school night. I would have scolded her for waking me up and pretending there was a fire when there wasn’t one. Dawn says this is a fire drill and to go out the front door. Sharon protests because she can’t go outside in her nightgown. I don’t know if people would stop to consider the fact that they’re in a nightgown if there was a fire. Maybe if the fire was mild they might be able to grab a robe, but if there’s a fire, I’m just running outside in whatever I’m wearing. I just hope I’m not in the shower if there’s a fire.
Dawn insists that this is necessary because Jeff slept through the fire drill. I like to think that Jeff woke up, realized that there wasn’t a fire and it was just Dawn taking fire safety too seriously, and went back to sleep. I’m sure Dawn is the type of person to pull the school fire alarm to access whether her school is properly equipped to handle a fire. She would also do that at work. When she got called on it she would just self-righteously say that fire safety was very important and that the school or her workplace obviously didn’t care about fire safety. Maybe she would also pull the fire alarm to see what people would save in a fire.
The doorbell rings. Jack thinks that Dawn woke up the neighbors. Dawn thinks she’ll extend her fire safety program to the entire block. I hope the neighbors are coming to yell at Dawn for making a giant racket. It’s not the neighbors. Jeff crawled out the window like Jeff said, but he kept hold of his Gameboy. Dawn doesn’t yell at Jeff because he was the only one that responded to her fire drill. Yeah, if my twelve-year-old woke me up in the middle of the night and it was just a fire drill I would have told her to go back to bed.
On Saturday Dawn is still acting like she’s the only one who knows anything about fire safety and her parents don’t know how to operate a fire extinguisher or plan escape routes. She’s going to babysit for Clover and Daffodil later that day.
Chapter 10
Dawn walks over to their house. The girls disagree on what to play. One of them wants to play school and the other wants to play with her colored pencils. Dawn solves the problem by suggesting they combine the games. Mrs. Austin says that Dawn is a master of negotiation and should run for public office. I can’t form words to express my horror at Dawn Schafer holding a public office position. Or Kristy Thomas, for that matter. Dawn likes babysitting because it’s so creative. She can think of fun games to play with the kids. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it might be a nice idea to give the kids a chance to come up with a game. They might just sit around with their thumbs up their butts waiting for you to think of what to do. Or they might get annoyed that you’re always telling them what to play and call you bossy. It’s a miracle Dawn hasn’t tried any of her fire safety stuff on Clover and Daffodil. Daffodil wants the class to draw a picture that illustrated their first names. Clover and Daffodil can draw their first names and so can Dawn. My real name’s Dakota. Should I just draw the state North Dakota or South Dakota to represent my name? No, wait, it can be abstract. In that case I’m drawing a purple book because I like to read and purple is my favorite color. And I’m pretty sure I can draw a book. My brother and cousin are better artists than I am.
The girls start to eat their snacks when Dawn smells smoke. She checks electrical appliances and notes that everything is fine. She can still smell smoke and can see it now. The girls’ eyes start to water. Dawn calmly tells the girls that they’re leaving the house and goes through the nearest exit. I wonder if Dawn mapped out fire escape routes in other houses. Did she question Sunny’s family about their fire safety habits? Did she worry what would happen if she slept over at Sunny’s house and there was a fire? If there was a fire at Dawn’s house, would she just go out the nearest exit or follow a preplanned escape route? Mrs. Austin is a weaver, so her work might be destroyed.
Dawn takes Clover and Daffodil to her house and calls the fire department.