Maid Mary Anne Chapters 1-4

Jun 04, 2013 03:10

This book has never been snarked all the way through, most likely because it sucks. I'll see if I can make it all the way through.

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california, mary anne, kristy's bitch face, nola thacker, #66 maid mary anne

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kakeochi_umai June 4 2013, 10:09:24 UTC
First, thanks for snarking a book that hasn't been completely snarked before! I always like when people do that.

"Happy families are all alike."
Then how come they always go on about how OMGCAHRAZY Kristy's family is? I mean, WE know that any household with Karen in it is a very unhappy one, but that's not what these girls think.

Mary Anne agonizes that her family isn't like others so maybe they aren't happy
...And here we go. Again, the reason your family is unhappy isn't because it's a blended family, it's because you live with Dawn. Don't worry, that problem's going to be solved in the next book.

Wtf Mary Anne is running late for a job with the Arnolds as Dawn offers to wash her plate and MA fawns for 2 paragraphs about how amazing that is and she hopes she would have done the same.
Why are they washing their dishes individually instead of taking it in turns to wash the lot like a normal family? Does Dawn gag if she has to WASH a plate that's touched meat? Is this why Mary Anne is swooning over her incredible act of generosity?

"Hello, Mrs. Pike. No, I'm sorry, I don't know if Mal is free then
1. Why the hell didn't she just ASK Mal before she left? Or was she hiding in her and the Sperminator's bedroom while Mal did all the parenting again?
2. I'm totally picturing Mal frantically making "NO!!!" gestures. Or she would if these girls were allowed to express anything but adoration for every child except Jenny Prezzioso and Jackie Rodowsky.

She goes to tell Dawn the news and hears the Beach Boys playing, which leads to hint dropping about Dawn missing California.
Yes, I know I only play Gin Wigmore songs if I'm crazy homesick for New Zealand, and not, say, because Gin Wigmore is awesome. And if I'm playing all the Eurovision songs, that means I want to move to...40 or so countries in Europe? For that matter, these girls all say that Dawn's health food snobbery is a California thing, so if doing things from where you come from equals homesickness, doesn't that mean she was homesick from the start? (And that Sharon has smoked so much pot that she's forgotten the entire first 18 years of her life?)

I love you for christening Mrs Towne Mavis.

Hmm maybe if Hermione popped up and taught MA to make elf hats this story would get more interesting.
Yes! And Dawn would get her nose out of joint because somebody else thought of a crusade instead of her.

then her badass super workroom, which MA practically orgasms at the sight of.
I know that's a figure of speech. I know that I use that particular figure of speech all the damn time. But my mind still went to Mary Anne and Mavis having sex in there. Come to that, since Mary Anne was the one who called 911 after Mavis busted her ankle and there were no witnesses...
I'm just saying, falling off a sewing table mid-coitus could easily break an old lady's ankle.

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egadthearchaeo June 4 2013, 12:50:54 UTC
Yeah, I was wondering about why Mrs. Pike was asking if her own daughter was free. Shouldn't that be something Mrs. Pike should already know?

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wildmagelet June 4 2013, 22:19:19 UTC
Especially considering that Mal is ELEVEN. If you don't know where your eleven-year-old will be on Thursday afternoon, I think there are some issues. I'll give her the small benefit of the doubt and assume that she was asking if Mal had already booked another sitting job during that meeting. Then again, this is the Pikes and Stoneybrooke, where parents probably wouldn't notice if their kids stole the Junk Bucket and hopped it to Vegas for a week, so maybe not.

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xand_so_it_isx June 4 2013, 19:23:09 UTC
Oh goodness now I am thinking about how Mavis broke her ankle. It was obviously a sewing orgy.

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sgrfrostedflake June 6 2013, 23:02:35 UTC
"Hello, Mrs. Pike. No, I'm sorry, I don't know if Mal is free then
1. Why the hell didn't she just ASK Mal before she left? Or was she hiding in her and the Sperminator's bedroom while Mal did all the parenting again?
Yeah, I was wondering about why Mrs. Pike was asking if her own daughter was free. Shouldn't that be something Mrs. Pike should already know?
I'll give her the small benefit of the doubt and assume that she was asking if Mal had already booked another sitting job during that meeting.
Mal actually did accept another job for Thursday at the meeting before her mom called but she still gets scheuled to sit for her own sibs with MA, also on Thursday. *shrug*

Does Dawn gag if she has to WASH a plate that's touched meat?
MA wasn't even eating meat. She had a bagel with butter and raspberry jam.

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