BSC Mystery #15: Kristy and the Vampires
Hey! So! How're you? Good? Yeah me, too. Me, too. I know I haven't posted anything lately. Been... been busy with my new blog. Nothin' big. Just you know, just some stuff from my brain on some virtual paper. It's located here by the way. (It's nerdy and stuff and I'm going to link this snark there as well because I really wanted to snark and not write a hard hitting piece about... okay, I don't write those but still.)
Anyway, back to the snark! I started reading this one at work today so I'm not done but it follows the basic plot of the two types of mysteries the BSC solve. The first is "Crummy person steals a thing, is foiled by the BSC" and the second is "Ancillary character is threatened constantly, is saved by the BSC." This one is the latter.
Cover time!
Um, yeah, so considering this book is about Kristy solving Claire's fear of vampires I'm going to assume that's Claire. Mary Anne is looking slammin' in that fuchsia vest-mustard shirt combo with the black mini skirt. Meanwhile Kristy kind of looks like a man in Never Nude shorts. And then the vampire is there and is an adult even though the vampires in the story are kids so. There's that.
This book was also ghostwritten by Ellen Miles (so expect some of this [except not really {except there is actually some}]).
Here is also the UK cover. Just... what?
Chapter 1 or OMG Stoneybrook is like Sooo Boring lol
It is summer and Kristy is outside eating sandwiches with DM and Emily Michelle. Which summer? Who is to say, but it is summer. According to Kristy, summer is long, boring, and hot. She misses school, you guys. Stoneybrook is so boring because nothing ever happens ever so my gosh you kids would you just eat your boring sandwiches on this boring day? Thanks, you're dolls.
Kristy rambles about the BSC and her family because this is a mystery and we do not have time to wait for Chapter 2. We learn that DM is clumsy when it comes to sports. But it's only sports so he's not a walking disaster like Jackie. We'll go back to that issue soon enough but first! Did you know Kristy's house is like a mansion? She actually says that. Girl lives in Millionaire Row in a real-live mansion but says the house is just sort of akin to one. She is a lying liar because she also says Nannie, her grandmother, is always leaving in her pink landyacht. Oh, Kristy. We know Nannie is never allowed to leave because who else will watch Karen? (Who thankfully is not scheduled to appear. Look at me, I'm Ellen Miles.)
Emily Michelle wants to play Candyland but Kristy informs us that everyone else in the house literally cannot stand it. No one will play. No one. Sorry Emily. This is America, not your homeland. We do not play such games here. We attempt to read the funny page from the newspaper that our older stepsister brought outside for plot devicery.
Turns out that "Stoneybrookites" (sure!) are in for a treat. A moviefilm is going to be crafted right there in boring Stoneybrook where no famous artists ever lived or dancers from NYC come to the Stoneybrook Civic Center or giant snowstorms occur. DM knows all about this already because he and his fabulous friend Linny P. already discussed it (he's sooo up on this kind of stuff). I was hoping that Linny read all the trade rags but it turns out his dad heard about it at the hardware store where people who buy things such as hammers and nails to build boring things gossip about movie news.
Kristy then has everyone clean up their mess and goes to play trolls with Emily (Troll dolls! 90s reference!) as DM digs up Watson's yard looking for gold. That gold-digger. Linny P. is not pleased. Neither is Watson I assume since we know he loves his garden and yet here DM is digging up part of the lawn for fun. Kristy doesn't stop him because she's a pro-babysitter.
Mmhm.
Mary Anne comes by and the two freak out that a movie is going to be filmed in Stoneybrook. Some of the movie is to be shot at a house near MA's. This is big news. A TV movie is being shot at a house near hers and she might see Cam Geary omg he is 2 cute. Kristy also tells us that she and Mary Anne are very different. They used to be similar because they were short. Now MA likes Cam Geary, haircuts, and clothes while Kristy has one outfit and is still short. MA and Kristy are the GameGrumps.
Kristy is Egoraptor.
Kristy then states, "In fact, I knew right then that we'd be talking about nothing else that afternoon at our BSC meeting." Who is this girl and what did she do to Kristy? Is Kristy a vampire now? No. Kristy is merely involved in this plot.
Chapter 2 or That is Totally How Movies Work
Kristy thinks she is going to be late to the meeting. They threw MA's bike into the Junk Bucket and zipped on down the golden road to Claud's house as fast as they could though! But rest assured- it is only 5:20. And almost everyone has already arrived because did you know a movie is going to be filmed in Stoneybrook? Oh and Shannon is here. From the same street as Kristy. Hm.
They get an early phone call from Mrs. Masters. As in Derek Master's mother. Derek Master's from P.S. 162 which is a hit show that everyone is watching. Are you? No, because you are not cool enough. She needs someome to watch Derek on the set of the very movie everyone is a twitter about. She and Mr. Masters can't be there every day but Derek, and his brother Todd, need someone there at all times. Why not another child?
Masters also got the production company to film in Stonybrook because Derek is from there and it is the perfect small town setting. Obviously everyone listens to the parent of the child star. Always.
Exactly, Ramona.
Kristy tells everyone as such and Claudia shouts that she knew that was going to be the case. Stacey asks if she really knew that and Claudia says no. Shot down, Kishi. By your best friend. The Real Housesitters of Stoneybrook.
Because this is a Kristy book, she gets the job. The rest of Chapter 2 is just the usual Chapter 2 mess about the club with nothing fun. No Claudia outfits, no weird Mal-isms, no diabetic comas. Moving on.
Chapter 3 or Gosh, Derek, Must You Spoil the Movie?
Kristy arrives at the elementary school where most of the shoot will take place. There are trucks everywhere and also a meeting of the Cult of K. Ron as all of the crew are wearing ratty t-shirts, jeans or shorts, and tennis shoes. You may think I'm making this up but even Kristy says she fits right in with the crew in a later chapter.
Charlie is also on set as he has a job as a gofer for the assistant-assistant stage manager. Charlie Thomas-Brewer has obviously made up this job in order to sneak on set and talk to people who can make him a star. Sam, meanwhile, goes to take a nap. He is missing, "...the most thrilling thing that had ever happened in our town." Not unlike that time a bunch of kids got stranded on a desert island off Connecticut. That happens all the time.
Derek comes out of a chauffeured car and speaks as if he is 35 years old for the rest of the book. This boy is 8. He takes Kristy to the makeup trailer where he is to be done up. Kristy manages to tell us all about the things on the movie set with Derek filling in the specifics. Ellen Miles is teaching me about movie production. We also learn about the plot of the movie. A guy named Laddie Alducar comes to America and is a vampire who must recruit other vampires but is then thwarted by the power of love and also magic so he becomes normal. Thank you, Derek, I didn't want to watch your Hallmark Original Movie Little Vampires anyway.
We also learn a one Carson Fraser from the show Miami Beach, USA (not to be confused with Miami Beach, Belgium) is the co-star. Kristy doesn't watch that show because she has no taste, obviously. Carson's manager is a short, bald man in a "shiny" black tracksuit who is named Frank Bottoms. That, my friends, just sounds gross. Of course there is also the lovely, too-dressed up Sheila Mayberry the publicist and Cliff Chase the producer. Ellen, turn off TV Land.
MA, Stacy, Logan, and Mal show up with the kids they're supposed to be watching and Kristy notices Claire isn't looking at her like everyone else. Gosh, Claire. Cokie is also there because why not. A girl with stringy blond hair is also standing off with the group and is totally not going to be a character.
Kristy gets shivers from the director yelling action. Do what you will with that.
Chapter 4 or Ellen Miles Does Not Know How PR Works
At the end of chapter 3 Kristy says this is the most exciting sitting job ever. At the start of chapter 4 she says that being on a movie set is boring because you do your one job and then sit there. Well, stand there. She is watching them film a scene that is not the first scene because movies shoot out of order. This is true, thankfully. This one is where ole Laddie tries to get Derek's character to drink blood. According to Kristy this is the first sign one will become a vampire. Blood in a jar: gateway drug.
Carson isn't really trying very hard while Derek is apparently the best actor in the world according to Kristy. There is so much gushing over Derek in this book it's nuts. We also learn that Derek is apparently gangly at 8 years old. He is sooo clumsy for this plot you guys. He tore his clothes when he fell out of the car. He's like Jackie except no one makes that connection at all.
After the clumsy talk of being clumsy, Derek takes Kristy to the prop van. They look at some of them and Derek puts a lamp on his head, telling Kristy it's a prop so it should be plastic. Except it falls off of his head and shatters on the ground showing that omg it wasn't fake! The prop master, Zeke, comes by and is freaking out. That was a TIFFANY lamp. A Tiffany lamp as a prop. You. How. Why do you have a Tiffany lamp as a prop? Seriously, Ellen?
Sheila the PR shark who is famous for planting stories, aka her job, tells Kristy and David that she's planting this story. It's a great human interest piece. "Boy Celeb Breaks Tiffany Lamp - He's Just Like Us!" Someone get this woman an award.
By the way, this chapter was highly boring. Hence the lack of anything.
Chapter 5 or Ellen Miles Does Not Know How Movies Work
We get a notebook entry from Mal this time. She is watching the girl Pikes and Claire has vampire-phobia. The boys told her that vampires are real so she doesn't want to go to the set to watch everyone make a moving picture. Vanessa, meanwhile, is suffering from being a Rude Gus by asking, "What's her problem?" So loving, those Pikes. Where are they now?
Margo is also rude, but not like Karen who is full of whimsy, of course. She says Claire is ruining everything. Vanessa asks if she and Margo can go alone to see the movie. Mal says no and talks to Claire about how vampires are not real so she should be brave and go with everyone. It works.
They arrive at the movie set and the perspective fully shifts back to Kristy even though we're still in Mal's chapter because Ann hates Mal. The scene currently is set in the gym because it is pouring rain. You ever start to mimic a book's weather based on your own weather? This book says it's sooo hot but today it was super overcast and raining so I just automatically thought it was rainy. Then it does rain. Odd.
The other reason for it is because the scene is one at a party in the school gym where Vladdie's cousins come to turn the children into the undead. We ignore Mal to focus on Kristy watching Derek be a professional actor Except he slips and falls, ruining the scene. Clumsy, clumsy Derek. Jackie who? No, no Jackie here.
The director is incredibly pissed off and said they'll have to redo the entire scene which they can't do because everyone is in makeup for the next scene and scheduling is too tight. Except that the vampires are already in vampire makeup for this scene which they should be in the next scene which is still in the same gym at the same party. Right.
Derek tells Kristy he slipped on something. This was not just his gangly 8-year-old body. Kristy believes him and thus begins our mystery. But that is overshadowed because some strange man dressed as a vampire swoops into the gym and asks Claire for a dance. This causes Claire to scream in terror and flee from the building so Mal and her other sisters have to go run after her, thus kicking her out of her own sitting chapter.
Vanessa and Margo sulk because of their sister's legitimate phobia. Mal calls Kristy to update her and Kristy tells us she needs to help Claire get over her phobia. Because obviously her own sister cannot do that. Or can't let it run its course. There is no time for such things.
Chapter 6 or Danger and Kristy Never Leaves
Mrs. Masters is on set today. Kristy said she would not be needed when the parents are around, she is still in attendance. She cannot leave. She has to watch Derek at all times. We even learn that Claudia is here as she must watch Todd. Because Mother Masters is here to watch Derek do his fancy stunt that she wishes he wouldn't do. He is to fall through prop glass after being thrown by a vampire.
The dialogue in this scene is particularly awful. It all sounds like it was ripped right out of a sitcom. I don't care for it and Claudia pretending that she will ask the makeup artist how she should train to become a makeup artist for movies. No matter though as the whole scene is just to distract us from Todd kicking a rock around and shattering the glass that was to be used for the scene. However it was not movie glass. No. It is real glass.
Cliff, the producer, fires Zeke the prop man for ordering the wrong glass even though he swears that he did not. He also shuts down the entire production for the day because of it. What happened to the tight schedule? What happened to being unable to reshoot because there was no time? It does not matter. Cliff has spoken. He is angry and Mrs. Masters says, "I heard there was a feud between him and Zeke okay gotta go because Derek wants to play Nintendo, bye." (Nintendo!) She also blames herself for telling Todd to go off and get a soda without supervision when Claudia feels bad that she wasn't watching him. But, hey, he saved Derek by destroying a pane of glass! That's cool.
Kristy stays behind and harasses a woman about prop receipts. She wants to protect Derek. Mama Bear don't let no one hurt her babychild. The woman actually lets her look through receipts and she finds many from a local business, commenting that this movie is great for those. Just like hers. She is a small businesswoman who don't need no man. Sheila comes by and tells her this new story will be perfect. She's going to go plant it now. She is at the top of her career covering this TV movie after all.
Chapter 7 or This Movie Will Not Make Your Career
Bottoms complains that Sheila is ruining Carson's reputation. Now everyone loves this punk kid who is a total klutz instead of the actor who likely does not even know where he currently is. Carson says he cannot stand for that. This movie will make his career! He will go from hit TV show to hit TV movie to film! Or Match Game. Probably Match Game. Who doesn't love Match Game?
Derek comes out and sees Kristy spying on the two men. He asks if there are chocolate chip cookies out and she says yes but that he must wait until after lunch. Derek then says the truest words ever spoken, "What good is being a movie star if you can't eat cookies whenever you want to?" He is self aware and working it. DM and Linny P., please take note. This is how you become fabulous.
The stringy hair girl is back as well, begging to have a role. The director tells her she isn't needed but she can give her name and they'll call if they need her. Suspect. But the stuntwoman who will be taking Derek's place is also there. She must be rigged to fly around the gym with a vampire and Kristy comments that she "looks" like a "total professional". Perhaps because she is one?
But not professional enough it seems. As she's lifted up the line breaks and she goes tumbling to the ground. Only bruised of course, but still. That harness was originally meant for Derek. This cannot be a coincidence as all of these things come back around to Derek. Someone is out to get him. Though time is money so they'll finish the shot after lunch because of that tight schedule and all.
Derek asks Kristy to get him some mints from his dressing room as his burger at lunch had onions and he doesn't want onion breath for his scene with Red Headed Girl With No Name. She obliges and gets them from his dressing room but hark. There is a note upon his counter. She tells us she normall doesn't open letters not addressed to her and that she thought twice about doing it but all this craziness... It is opened. She pulls out a card that is written in something that looks like blood. It asks if Derek is scared yet and is signed ?.
Kristy does not alert Derek to this but does call his mother once she gets home. That's right. Kristy told an adult about what's going on. Then she calls an emergency meeting. No time for summer shenanigans, girls and Logan. It's time to crack this case.
Anyway, back to the snark! I started reading this one at work today so I'm not done but it follows the basic plot of the two types of mysteries the BSC solve. The first is "Crummy person steals a thing, is foiled by the BSC" and the second is "Ancillary character is threatened constantly, is saved by the BSC." This one is the latter.
Cover time!
Um, yeah, so considering this book is about Kristy solving Claire's fear of vampires I'm going to assume that's Claire. Mary Anne is looking slammin' in that fuchsia vest-mustard shirt combo with the black mini skirt. Meanwhile Kristy kind of looks like a man in Never Nude shorts. And then the vampire is there and is an adult even though the vampires in the story are kids so. There's that.
This book was also ghostwritten by Ellen Miles (so expect some of this [except not really {except there is actually some}]).
Here is also the UK cover. Just... what?
Chapter 1 or OMG Stoneybrook is like Sooo Boring lol
It is summer and Kristy is outside eating sandwiches with DM and Emily Michelle. Which summer? Who is to say, but it is summer. According to Kristy, summer is long, boring, and hot. She misses school, you guys. Stoneybrook is so boring because nothing ever happens ever so my gosh you kids would you just eat your boring sandwiches on this boring day? Thanks, you're dolls.
Kristy rambles about the BSC and her family because this is a mystery and we do not have time to wait for Chapter 2. We learn that DM is clumsy when it comes to sports. But it's only sports so he's not a walking disaster like Jackie. We'll go back to that issue soon enough but first! Did you know Kristy's house is like a mansion? She actually says that. Girl lives in Millionaire Row in a real-live mansion but says the house is just sort of akin to one. She is a lying liar because she also says Nannie, her grandmother, is always leaving in her pink landyacht. Oh, Kristy. We know Nannie is never allowed to leave because who else will watch Karen? (Who thankfully is not scheduled to appear. Look at me, I'm Ellen Miles.)
Emily Michelle wants to play Candyland but Kristy informs us that everyone else in the house literally cannot stand it. No one will play. No one. Sorry Emily. This is America, not your homeland. We do not play such games here. We attempt to read the funny page from the newspaper that our older stepsister brought outside for plot devicery.
Turns out that "Stoneybrookites" (sure!) are in for a treat. A moviefilm is going to be crafted right there in boring Stoneybrook where no famous artists ever lived or dancers from NYC come to the Stoneybrook Civic Center or giant snowstorms occur. DM knows all about this already because he and his fabulous friend Linny P. already discussed it (he's sooo up on this kind of stuff). I was hoping that Linny read all the trade rags but it turns out his dad heard about it at the hardware store where people who buy things such as hammers and nails to build boring things gossip about movie news.
Kristy then has everyone clean up their mess and goes to play trolls with Emily (Troll dolls! 90s reference!) as DM digs up Watson's yard looking for gold. That gold-digger. Linny P. is not pleased. Neither is Watson I assume since we know he loves his garden and yet here DM is digging up part of the lawn for fun. Kristy doesn't stop him because she's a pro-babysitter.
Mmhm.
Mary Anne comes by and the two freak out that a movie is going to be filmed in Stoneybrook. Some of the movie is to be shot at a house near MA's. This is big news. A TV movie is being shot at a house near hers and she might see Cam Geary omg he is 2 cute. Kristy also tells us that she and Mary Anne are very different. They used to be similar because they were short. Now MA likes Cam Geary, haircuts, and clothes while Kristy has one outfit and is still short. MA and Kristy are the GameGrumps.
Kristy is Egoraptor.
Kristy then states, "In fact, I knew right then that we'd be talking about nothing else that afternoon at our BSC meeting." Who is this girl and what did she do to Kristy? Is Kristy a vampire now? No. Kristy is merely involved in this plot.
Chapter 2 or That is Totally How Movies Work
Kristy thinks she is going to be late to the meeting. They threw MA's bike into the Junk Bucket and zipped on down the golden road to Claud's house as fast as they could though! But rest assured- it is only 5:20. And almost everyone has already arrived because did you know a movie is going to be filmed in Stoneybrook? Oh and Shannon is here. From the same street as Kristy. Hm.
They get an early phone call from Mrs. Masters. As in Derek Master's mother. Derek Master's from P.S. 162 which is a hit show that everyone is watching. Are you? No, because you are not cool enough. She needs someome to watch Derek on the set of the very movie everyone is a twitter about. She and Mr. Masters can't be there every day but Derek, and his brother Todd, need someone there at all times. Why not another child?
Masters also got the production company to film in Stonybrook because Derek is from there and it is the perfect small town setting. Obviously everyone listens to the parent of the child star. Always.
Exactly, Ramona.
Kristy tells everyone as such and Claudia shouts that she knew that was going to be the case. Stacey asks if she really knew that and Claudia says no. Shot down, Kishi. By your best friend. The Real Housesitters of Stoneybrook.
Because this is a Kristy book, she gets the job. The rest of Chapter 2 is just the usual Chapter 2 mess about the club with nothing fun. No Claudia outfits, no weird Mal-isms, no diabetic comas. Moving on.
Chapter 3 or Gosh, Derek, Must You Spoil the Movie?
Kristy arrives at the elementary school where most of the shoot will take place. There are trucks everywhere and also a meeting of the Cult of K. Ron as all of the crew are wearing ratty t-shirts, jeans or shorts, and tennis shoes. You may think I'm making this up but even Kristy says she fits right in with the crew in a later chapter.
Charlie is also on set as he has a job as a gofer for the assistant-assistant stage manager. Charlie Thomas-Brewer has obviously made up this job in order to sneak on set and talk to people who can make him a star. Sam, meanwhile, goes to take a nap. He is missing, "...the most thrilling thing that had ever happened in our town." Not unlike that time a bunch of kids got stranded on a desert island off Connecticut. That happens all the time.
Derek comes out of a chauffeured car and speaks as if he is 35 years old for the rest of the book. This boy is 8. He takes Kristy to the makeup trailer where he is to be done up. Kristy manages to tell us all about the things on the movie set with Derek filling in the specifics. Ellen Miles is teaching me about movie production. We also learn about the plot of the movie. A guy named Laddie Alducar comes to America and is a vampire who must recruit other vampires but is then thwarted by the power of love and also magic so he becomes normal. Thank you, Derek, I didn't want to watch your Hallmark Original Movie Little Vampires anyway.
We also learn a one Carson Fraser from the show Miami Beach, USA (not to be confused with Miami Beach, Belgium) is the co-star. Kristy doesn't watch that show because she has no taste, obviously. Carson's manager is a short, bald man in a "shiny" black tracksuit who is named Frank Bottoms. That, my friends, just sounds gross. Of course there is also the lovely, too-dressed up Sheila Mayberry the publicist and Cliff Chase the producer. Ellen, turn off TV Land.
MA, Stacy, Logan, and Mal show up with the kids they're supposed to be watching and Kristy notices Claire isn't looking at her like everyone else. Gosh, Claire. Cokie is also there because why not. A girl with stringy blond hair is also standing off with the group and is totally not going to be a character.
Kristy gets shivers from the director yelling action. Do what you will with that.
Chapter 4 or Ellen Miles Does Not Know How PR Works
At the end of chapter 3 Kristy says this is the most exciting sitting job ever. At the start of chapter 4 she says that being on a movie set is boring because you do your one job and then sit there. Well, stand there. She is watching them film a scene that is not the first scene because movies shoot out of order. This is true, thankfully. This one is where ole Laddie tries to get Derek's character to drink blood. According to Kristy this is the first sign one will become a vampire. Blood in a jar: gateway drug.
Carson isn't really trying very hard while Derek is apparently the best actor in the world according to Kristy. There is so much gushing over Derek in this book it's nuts. We also learn that Derek is apparently gangly at 8 years old. He is sooo clumsy for this plot you guys. He tore his clothes when he fell out of the car. He's like Jackie except no one makes that connection at all.
After the clumsy talk of being clumsy, Derek takes Kristy to the prop van. They look at some of them and Derek puts a lamp on his head, telling Kristy it's a prop so it should be plastic. Except it falls off of his head and shatters on the ground showing that omg it wasn't fake! The prop master, Zeke, comes by and is freaking out. That was a TIFFANY lamp. A Tiffany lamp as a prop. You. How. Why do you have a Tiffany lamp as a prop? Seriously, Ellen?
Sheila the PR shark who is famous for planting stories, aka her job, tells Kristy and David that she's planting this story. It's a great human interest piece. "Boy Celeb Breaks Tiffany Lamp - He's Just Like Us!" Someone get this woman an award.
By the way, this chapter was highly boring. Hence the lack of anything.
Chapter 5 or Ellen Miles Does Not Know How Movies Work
We get a notebook entry from Mal this time. She is watching the girl Pikes and Claire has vampire-phobia. The boys told her that vampires are real so she doesn't want to go to the set to watch everyone make a moving picture. Vanessa, meanwhile, is suffering from being a Rude Gus by asking, "What's her problem?" So loving, those Pikes. Where are they now?
Margo is also rude, but not like Karen who is full of whimsy, of course. She says Claire is ruining everything. Vanessa asks if she and Margo can go alone to see the movie. Mal says no and talks to Claire about how vampires are not real so she should be brave and go with everyone. It works.
They arrive at the movie set and the perspective fully shifts back to Kristy even though we're still in Mal's chapter because Ann hates Mal. The scene currently is set in the gym because it is pouring rain. You ever start to mimic a book's weather based on your own weather? This book says it's sooo hot but today it was super overcast and raining so I just automatically thought it was rainy. Then it does rain. Odd.
The other reason for it is because the scene is one at a party in the school gym where Vladdie's cousins come to turn the children into the undead. We ignore Mal to focus on Kristy watching Derek be a professional actor Except he slips and falls, ruining the scene. Clumsy, clumsy Derek. Jackie who? No, no Jackie here.
The director is incredibly pissed off and said they'll have to redo the entire scene which they can't do because everyone is in makeup for the next scene and scheduling is too tight. Except that the vampires are already in vampire makeup for this scene which they should be in the next scene which is still in the same gym at the same party. Right.
Derek tells Kristy he slipped on something. This was not just his gangly 8-year-old body. Kristy believes him and thus begins our mystery. But that is overshadowed because some strange man dressed as a vampire swoops into the gym and asks Claire for a dance. This causes Claire to scream in terror and flee from the building so Mal and her other sisters have to go run after her, thus kicking her out of her own sitting chapter.
Vanessa and Margo sulk because of their sister's legitimate phobia. Mal calls Kristy to update her and Kristy tells us she needs to help Claire get over her phobia. Because obviously her own sister cannot do that. Or can't let it run its course. There is no time for such things.
Chapter 6 or Danger and Kristy Never Leaves
Mrs. Masters is on set today. Kristy said she would not be needed when the parents are around, she is still in attendance. She cannot leave. She has to watch Derek at all times. We even learn that Claudia is here as she must watch Todd. Because Mother Masters is here to watch Derek do his fancy stunt that she wishes he wouldn't do. He is to fall through prop glass after being thrown by a vampire.
The dialogue in this scene is particularly awful. It all sounds like it was ripped right out of a sitcom. I don't care for it and Claudia pretending that she will ask the makeup artist how she should train to become a makeup artist for movies. No matter though as the whole scene is just to distract us from Todd kicking a rock around and shattering the glass that was to be used for the scene. However it was not movie glass. No. It is real glass.
Cliff, the producer, fires Zeke the prop man for ordering the wrong glass even though he swears that he did not. He also shuts down the entire production for the day because of it. What happened to the tight schedule? What happened to being unable to reshoot because there was no time? It does not matter. Cliff has spoken. He is angry and Mrs. Masters says, "I heard there was a feud between him and Zeke okay gotta go because Derek wants to play Nintendo, bye." (Nintendo!) She also blames herself for telling Todd to go off and get a soda without supervision when Claudia feels bad that she wasn't watching him. But, hey, he saved Derek by destroying a pane of glass! That's cool.
Kristy stays behind and harasses a woman about prop receipts. She wants to protect Derek. Mama Bear don't let no one hurt her babychild. The woman actually lets her look through receipts and she finds many from a local business, commenting that this movie is great for those. Just like hers. She is a small businesswoman who don't need no man. Sheila comes by and tells her this new story will be perfect. She's going to go plant it now. She is at the top of her career covering this TV movie after all.
Chapter 7 or This Movie Will Not Make Your Career
Bottoms complains that Sheila is ruining Carson's reputation. Now everyone loves this punk kid who is a total klutz instead of the actor who likely does not even know where he currently is. Carson says he cannot stand for that. This movie will make his career! He will go from hit TV show to hit TV movie to film! Or Match Game. Probably Match Game. Who doesn't love Match Game?
Derek comes out and sees Kristy spying on the two men. He asks if there are chocolate chip cookies out and she says yes but that he must wait until after lunch. Derek then says the truest words ever spoken, "What good is being a movie star if you can't eat cookies whenever you want to?" He is self aware and working it. DM and Linny P., please take note. This is how you become fabulous.
The stringy hair girl is back as well, begging to have a role. The director tells her she isn't needed but she can give her name and they'll call if they need her. Suspect. But the stuntwoman who will be taking Derek's place is also there. She must be rigged to fly around the gym with a vampire and Kristy comments that she "looks" like a "total professional". Perhaps because she is one?
But not professional enough it seems. As she's lifted up the line breaks and she goes tumbling to the ground. Only bruised of course, but still. That harness was originally meant for Derek. This cannot be a coincidence as all of these things come back around to Derek. Someone is out to get him. Though time is money so they'll finish the shot after lunch because of that tight schedule and all.
Derek asks Kristy to get him some mints from his dressing room as his burger at lunch had onions and he doesn't want onion breath for his scene with Red Headed Girl With No Name. She obliges and gets them from his dressing room but hark. There is a note upon his counter. She tells us she normall doesn't open letters not addressed to her and that she thought twice about doing it but all this craziness... It is opened. She pulls out a card that is written in something that looks like blood. It asks if Derek is scared yet and is signed ?.
Kristy does not alert Derek to this but does call his mother once she gets home. That's right. Kristy told an adult about what's going on. Then she calls an emergency meeting. No time for summer shenanigans, girls and Logan. It's time to crack this case.