Mallory Pike, # 1 fan Chapters 11-15
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Chapter 11
Mallory goes over to Hayes’s house. She’s angry at Hayes for lying to her through her books. Mallory, her books are fiction. Strictly speaking, fiction isn’t true. In most of the libraries and books stores I’ve been to, fiction and non fiction books are separated. There’s no law saying that authors have to reveal personal details of their lives in their books. Well, maybe for autobiographies, but people may lie in those. Also, maybe writing about her tragic life brings back painful memory for Hayes.
Hayes opens the door and picks up on Mallory’s bad mood. Instead of blurting out that Hayes is a lying liar who lies, Mallory decides to go for the passive aggressive approach. She asks about the TV movie that was supposed to be made for Alice, but plans fell through because the producers wanted her to change Alice’s character. I’m going to assume they told her Alice was an obnoxious little brat and wanted her to work for her successes, instead of demanding she be given what she wants. They probably wanted to cut down on the stalking.
Hayes asks if Mallory came up with any more ideas for the reunion book-lady, you’re the author, come up with your own ideas instead of relying on an eleven year old girl. I’d probably discuss plot with my friends, but they’re my age. It’s kind of weird for a professional author to ask an eleven year old girl what should happen in their book. Mallory says no, but their story is Hayes’s story, so shouldn’t she know? Hayes is confused. I feel as though things would have been easier if Mallory had just asked if Hayes based a character on herself, or if the events in the books were based on real ones. I’ve heard authors get asked this question sometimes.
Mallory asks if Hayes’s family life was like Alice’s and she says no. Mallory says that Alice must be based on Cassie, and Hayes tells her she doesn’t like to talk about Cassie. At that point I’d shut up, because I’m just being cruel. Mallory wonders why she’s asking these cruel questions. I know why- once you join the BSC you lose empathy for others. Mallory finally asks what part of Hayes’s life showed up in the books.
Mallory finally yells that Hayes’s isn’t being fair to her readers because her books don’t tell her readers anything about her life. Have you tried seeing if Hayes’s published an autobiography, Mallory? Those books are intended to tell about the author’s life. Fictional stories do not have to have the author’s experiences. Hayes tells Mallory with great dignity that she hasn’t lied, because her books are fiction, and Mallory should look that up. She excuses herself, instead of telling Mallory to get the fuck out of her house.
Mallory dismisses what Hayes said as untrue, because you don’t have to report every fact in fiction, but the heart of the matter still has to be true. How does Mallory know the heart of Hayes’s work isn’t true? Just because Hayes never experienced close family bonds doesn’t mean she can’t write about them. Maybe she wrote about loving families because she never had one. The books resonated with you, Mallory. It shouldn’t matter whether or not Hayes personally experienced what she wrote about. Mallory is like, “How dare Hayes write about happy families when she never had one!” This is disturbing.
Mallory quits. She says she can’t work for Hayes anymore because she’s a liar. I’d be too embarrassed about my temper tantrum to show up at Hayes’s house anymore. Mallory bikes home crying, thinking that she turned her back on one of the greatest people she’s known. You kind of did, Mallory. Let’s face it, you really don’t have a lot of positive role models in your life. You just met your idol. Hayes was very nice. She answered your questions, gave you a job, and listened to your ideas. But does that matter? No, because Hayes didn’t write about her shitty childhood, so Mallory shouldn’t feel bad for her. This is really disturbing.
Chapter 12
The Pikes are still picketing Mallory’s play. They have signs and everything. I’d be too lazy to make signs and march outside my brother’s room if he wrote an insulting play about me. Calling him a lying asshole would be easier. Also, since I view the Pikes as a bunch of zoo animals, I think Mallory’s play is being rather kind, compared to the stuff they do. Tripping over things and using a Skip-it as a lasso don’t seem too horrible. Personally I would have gone with the time one of the triplets spilled milk and didn’t know what to do. Or maybe I would have gone with the time I had to pick pizza toppings off their pizza. Mallory could have portrayed her family as a bunch of morons incapable of doing anything, and it would still ring true.
Also, I know Mallory’s gung ho about writing what she knows, but why does it have to be about her family? Why can’t it be about another incident, like when she was on vacation at Disneyworld? Maybe she should write about the BSC, and how they were hags to her at her first meeting. Best of all, their character traits have already been flanderized for Mallory. Of course if she did that, Kristy would have chucked a flaming dirty diaper through Mallory’s window with the words, “You’re going to be sleeping with the fishes, Pike,” but sometimes writers have to write the truth, even when they’re facing opposition. Maybe Mallory should become an expose journalist if she’s so obsessed with telling the truth in her writing.
Mrs. Pike comes in to ask Mallory about the play. Mallory explains that she kind of exaggerated a little bit, but not that much, when you come to think of it. But strictly speaking, Mallory is lying. Mallory invites her mom to see the play. I hope Mrs. Pike realizes that she’s being an unfair slave-driver when she sees the play and realizes that more chores could get done if she told her other children to do some work. Mrs. Pike is dismayed at the name Spikes. Mallory picked the name because it rhymed. The Likes and the Tykes sounded dumb. The Likes sound like a family who like everything and never get into disagreements, and the Tykes sound like the perfect way to describe the Pikes.
Mrs. Pike watches the play. She looks upset when Valery is made to do all the work. Is that a little bit of parental guilt, I’m sensing there? Mrs. Pike says the play was insulting. You’re just mad because someone might recognize that you’re a horrible person who treats her eldest daughter like a slave. The kids threaten to quit, so Mallory agrees to make the characters not be idiots. So I have to watch a play about the nice, normal antics of a household instead of zany comedy? I hate zany comedy, but I’d take that over a typical day of a perfectly adjusted family. Mallory is upset because she’s letting people tell her what to write. I’d be a little annoyed that I had to change my play to please people. Of course, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to perform a play like Mallory’s. I would have just written it as a way to vent.
Chapter 13
Mallory changed her play to suit her siblings. You know, you guys did a way more insulting play about Mallory first when she wasn’t there to wipe your asses, made yourselves look like angels, and Jessi laughed. Mallory doesn’t know how to write about how Hayes’s life influenced hers, because she’s still stuck on that whole, Hayes is a liar thing. She calls Jessi for advice. Jessi says life is like a science experiment. Just because your hypothesis was proven wrong doesn’t mean your experiment failed. Mallory asks how Jessi’s project is coming. Mr. Williams wants her to illustrate the story of the Nutcracker. Why? The project was a written project. There’s nothing wrong with adding in drawings if you’re good at that, but why the hell is that a requirement? Whatever happened to giving them a lot of leeway, you lying goat turd?
Mrs. Pike says that Mallory wrote a better play when she wrote about the Pikes being a loving, well-adjusted family, instead of writing about the Pikes accurately. Doesn’t that mean that Mrs. Pike thinks that Mallory was being accurate in her original portrayal? Mallory realizes that she was limiting herself by only focusing on her family life. She decides to clear the air with Hayes.
Hayes is welcoming and very glad that Mallory is there, because no one can be mad at a BSC member, even when they do something wrong. Hayes tells Mallory that fiction is made up, but the truths aren’t. No fucking shit. Why am I expecting a BSC member to have logic? Hayes admits that Alice was based on one of her foster families, and Mallory feels like an idiot because the story was true then. I’m not even going to bother explaining why you shouldn’t feel like an idiot because of that. I think I’ve already said, “Fiction doesn’t have to be true and an author is not required to write about her life,” enough times.
Hayes admits that she wrote the first Alice book after Cassie died. Mallory says Hayes doesn’t have to talk about it, but Hayes insists. She and Cassie had a rough relationship and the last time she saw Cassie, they were exchanging bitter words. That poor woman. Hayes is considering writing a book about her life, but first she has to finish the new Alice book. Mallory is rehired as her assistant.
Chapter 14
Mr. Williams says Mallory’s work is excellent. Her play is being performed in the elementary school auditorium after school. I thought the play was going to be performed in the nursing homes or hospitals? Did they just cart the patients to the school? Maybe the patients said, “Hell no, we’re not watching a crapass BSC play! Just inject poison into my IV!”
Kristy wants to know how long the play is, because the BSC is more important than supporting a friend. Stacey is anxious and asks if Mallory changed the play. I don’t see why Stacey cares. How will this affect her? Claudia is worried too. Why do you care? The Pikes actually arrive wearing fedoras and glasses with fake noses. And you want to talk about how Mallory depicted you as idiots? The play is a success. Mallory tries to write, and her siblings and parents interrupt. But now her siblings don’t praise Mallory’s character as a paragon of virtue. Mrs. Hayes came to watch the play.
Chapter 15
The KCDAC want Mallory to write an updated version of the Christmas Carol to perform in the hospitals. I am not watching kids perform. If I get stuck in the hospital, I will have armed guards outside my room so that the BSC can’t get it. Unless the kids are related to me, I have no interest in watching their plays. In high school we had to go see little kids graduate. I left and went to physics, a class I hated, because I had no interest in watching people coo over a kid because they said the pledge of Allegiance. If my little cousin or a kid I’m friends with does something like that, it’s adorable. If I have no connection to them-who gives a flying fuck?
Hayes congratulates Mallory and shows her the dedications for her book. She thanked Mallory for her input. Now that we’ve gotten over Mallory’s stupidity, I hope Mallory and Hayes can be friends. I think it’s nice to see Mallory bonding with an adult that takes an interest in her hobbies and nurtures them. I’m going to pretend that Hayes stopped writing books about an entitled brat stalking people as well.