Kids in Ms. Colman's Class #2 - Author Day
In which Ricky Torres is treated like crap by the "super-nice" "fair" Ms. Colman.
This is another Ann-written book (unsurprisingly; that woman fucking loves victim-blaming), and is dedicated to her sister and brother-in-law:
This book is in honor of Jane Martin and Doug McGrath, my sister and my brand-new brother-in-law. Congratulations!
I sincerely hope she got them a real wedding present, because this book is absolute garbage.
Hey, before I start, does anyone know offhand if Charles Tang did the regular LS series illustrations as well? The style is similar, but at the same time, the drawings in these books are MUCH LESS HORRIBLE, and things tend to be complete. I mean, they're still not good, but they're not horrific. Did he just finally take some drawing lessons?
Anyway, let's get to know the poor little boy who will one day be Karen's pretend husband.
The book opens with some onomatopoeia:
Drip, drip, drip. Drip-drop, drip.
and I'm momentarily bewildered because Peter Lerangis didn't write this one! Ricky is bored and looking out the window instead of paying attention in class. It's raining pretty hard, and he finds this more interesting than Ms. Colman. I'm sympathetic to that feeling. I also wonder now if this is why pretty much every classroom I've ever been in has either had very few windows, or been arranged so that the desks faced away from them. I never had anything to stare aimlessly at during class. Not that it ever made me pay attention.
Hannie the busybody scolds him to pay attention and oh my fucking god I hate when people do that. If you're my peer and not my superior, don't fucking tell me what to do! Even if you're old enough to be my grandmother, you don't get to tell me not to doodle during CBT group! (I...have some issues with this. It's only in the last couple of years that I've started looking my age; for most of my 20s I've been taken to be in my late teens, which I guess makes people think I need to be told what to do.)
We get another glowing description of Ms. C:
Ricky looked at his teacher. Mr. Colman was standing patiently at the front of her second-grade classroom. Mr. Colman was almost always patient. And friendly. She was not a yeller. She listened to kids. Ricky liked her very much. So did Hannie and the rest of her students. Ricky did not want to disappoint her.
It's cute that he likes her so much, but she isn't so much patient and a listener as she is a total pushover with her favorites and kind of a passive-aggressive bitch to the rest of the kids.
Also, Ms. Colman isn't actually saying anything, just standing at the front of the class silently. Then she opens her mouth to say...it's almost lunchtime so they can put their stuff away. WOW. Glad Hannie was a snotty bitch over something THAT important. Oh, and no recess because it's raining. While I want to slap Karen for loudly shouting "Boo and bullfrogs!" without being told to shove it, I have to agree. Indoor recess sucks. They can't send the kids to the gym to run around instead? SDA has its own gymnasium, right, not in a separate building? Let them run around aimlessly and throw some balls around in there if no one's using it.
After lunch, Ricky hilariously notes how Karen is basically treated like a queen:
When lunch was over, the kids in Ms. Colman’s class formed a line in the cafeteria. Rocky noticed that Karen was at the head of it. She usually was.
When you're seven, heading the line is a coveted position. My school always alternated, as did the day care/preschool prep place I used to work at. Also, at my school, line leader was also expected to hold the schoolyard doors for the entire rest of the class. With great power comes great responsibility. I'm sure Karen just lets them swing shut in everyone's face.
Ms. Colman has set out "math games" for everyone. The fuck? Also board games and art supplies.
Karen orders her friends around, because of course she does:
Karen dove for the markers. “Hannie! Nancy!” she called to her best friends. “Come here! We can make paper jewelry.” (Karen was so bossy.)
Heeeeeeee. I love how in the rest of these books, everyone just...hates Karen. I wonder if AMM included that stuff in response to readers commenting on how horrible Karen was.
Jannie and Leslie are loudly pissed because they were going to do that, but Ms. Colman "quietly" informs them that there's enough paper for everyone. Ugh, she's totally that teacher who lets the loud kids just bellow away and ignores the quiet ones because they're not constantly in her face, isn't she?
Sara and the twins are trying to play hopscotch in the classroom. I assumes this means they've been drawing on the floor. Hank and Bobby are drawing a picture of Natalie on the chalkboard. They don't go into detail, but I think we can all assume it's an unaffectionate caricature. Audrey is throwing erasers at people (people throw erasers a lot in Ms. Colman's class), and Chris is drawing on his sneakers with a marker.
Ms. Colman declares this an unacceptable level of pandemonium. Okay, I'm with her on the kids playing hopscotch inside, but here's the thing: the whole point of recess is for kids to burn off some energy and give them a chance to refocus. Of course they're antsy and rowdy. And none of the rest of the behavior sounds that crazy to me. OMG, drawing a picture of someone on the chalkboard! Drawing on your own sneakers! What the hell kind of world is this where shouting in class is just fine, but wanting to move around or goof off during recess is chaos?
Anyway, she declares mandatory storytime, which...seems really unfair to the kids who were actually behaving. It seems like Karen and company actually shut up and got down to business, and most of these kids aren't doing anything wrong! Tell the ones playing hopscotch to use their indoor legs or something, tell Audrey to quit throwing shit at people, tell the boys to quit drawing people they know if they are in fact making fun of her (again, it doesn't say, or even really imply anything; I just assumed so) and let everyone else have fun! Telling the kids to sit down and concentrate during the time of day allotted for them to be allowed to reset and refocus seems really unfair.
She sends Ricky to pick out a book and he comes back with Sloppy Sam by Robert Bennett. I have no idea if this is a real author or if this guy's a Megan Rinehart. I don't care enough to look it up.
Everyone is super-happy with the choice and we get a really, really weird ending line for the chapter:
And the kids settled down to listen to one of Mr. Bennett’s giggle books.
Wut.
Chapter two: Author Day
“Good morning, boys and girls,” said Ms. Colman.
Sara hurried to her seat. So did the other kids in Ms. Colman’s room. Another Monday was about to begin.
Wait, what the fuck just happened? Suddenly it's another day? Suddenly we're focusing on Sara instead of Ricky? I'm so confused.
I get even more confused when Ms. Colman has an announcement and suddenly, it's Karen's POV:
Oh, goody, thought Karen. One of Ms. Colman’s Surprising Announcements.
Did AMM just completely forget that this book is from Ricky's POV?
The announcement isn't as surprising to those of us who read the title of the chapter: A month from now will be Author Day.
I take back what I said about the art being better in these books. Apparently someone scrawled the day's PE schedule directly onto the wall, the kids are in school at 6:00, somehow a drawing was taped behind the wall clock, and there is something very wrong with these childrens' hands.
Anyway. Different authors will be visiting with the different classes. Ms. Colman asks the class to guess who will be visiting their class, and Natalie guesses Babar. Everyone laughs at her and Ms. Colman is basically like "No, you idiot, Robert Bennett." Everyone spazzes out. Audrey is bummed to learn that there will be no autographs allowed, because she was hoping to get her copy of Awful Alligators signed. This Bennett guy sure likes alliteration, huh?
The class will also be writing their own stories, one of which will be turned into a skit performed in front of Mr. Bennett. Ricky is excited and begins to anticipate the best day of his life. Since he's not Karen, we all know this is going to go south quickly. Let's see how!
Chapter 3: The Farting Puppy
We get another random omniscient moment at the opening of the chapter:
Every morning, the kids in Ms. Colman’s class had reading activities. Sometimes Ms. Colman read to the class. She would choose a good book and read a chapter from it each day. (Omar’s favorite had been James and the Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl.)
(AMM really loves pimping that book out, doesn't she?) THIS BOOK IS FROM RICKY'S POINT OF VIEW. JUST BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN IN THE THIRD PERSON DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN MAGICALLY SEE INTO OTHER PEOPLES' HEADS!
Anyway, now they're reading a story about a puppy who wants to be adopted.
Jannie liked the sound of that. So did the other kids.
JUST STOP IT! *sobs*
Anyway, when it's Ricky's turn to read, the line is "the dog darted across the lawn." However, Ricky accidentally reads it as "the dog farted across the lawn." He doesn't catch himself and doesn't get why everyone else, including Ms. Colman, is giggling. Then he realizes what he said, then wants to die because he just said "farted" in front of the teacher. WHO IS NOT STOPPING ANYONE FROM LAUGHING AT HIM AND IS IN FACT BARELY KEEPING HERSELF FROM JOINING IN.
Is this the first time the word "farted" has been used in these books? I know people have DONE IT in embarrassing situations (at least, in Dawn and Too Many Sitters), but I feel like this is the first time the actual word has been used. It's kind of weird to see it in print in an AMM book. Like, vulgar or something.
“Okay, class. That is enough,” said Ms. Colman. (Ricky noticed she was still smiling, though.) “Class,” Mr. Colman had to say again. And then, “Boys and girls, please. Please settle down.”
Poor Ricky. Nothing pisses me off more than when teachers laugh at kids when they're embarrassed or worse, being picked on. It would be different if Ricky was also laughing, but he's clearly embarrassed. Ms. Colman says he "may" continue. Ricky has the understandable response of OH HELL NO.
Ms. Colman at least has the sense to let it go and tells Natalie to pick up. I thought Natalie wasn't supposed to read out loud in class because her lisp embarrassed her. Ricky also refuses to read a math problem aloud. In fact, he is never going to read anything out loud ever again, as he feels this will "show them." I would think that it would keep reminding the kids of the incident and make them laugh even more, but it's seven-year-old logic; I won't argue with it.
Also, we get a possibly unintentional display of character continuity:
Ricky was mad at everybody he was especially mad at Hannie, Karen, Hank, Bobby and Leslie. All the kids had laughed at him that morning. But they had laughed the loudest of all.
It seems that Leslie's sole character trait is kicking people when they're down. Hank and Bobby are obnoxious little boys throughout the series, though not horrible kids. Hannie is generally a decent kid, but can be a bit obnoxious (which is awesome when it's aimed at Karen; at the other kids not so much). And it seems that again, from someone else's perspective, Karen is a loudmouth and a bully.
Chapter 4: Dear Mr. Bennett
It's yet another Monday morning, and, as usual, the kids aren't doing fuck-all but dicking around. In a surprisingly timely pop culture reference, Audrey is hoarding POGs in her desk. I liked POGs. I miss POGs. I think I still have some in here somewhere. Leslie is watching Omar draw a superhero. Jannie is spying on the class next door.
Ms. Colman, of course, says nothing except it's time to start writing letters to Mr. Bennett.
Terri raised her hand. “What are we supposed to say?” she asked.
“We could tell Mr. Bennett about ourselves,” suggested Sara.
“Like who’s in our family,” added Chris.
“And if we have pets,” said Jannie.
“If you have farting puppies,” added Leslie.
Ricky stuck his tongue out at Leslie. And Ms. Colman said “Now, now.”
Ms. Colman sucks. (And I don't think Mr. Bennett really gives a fuck about your families and pets. I always liked how Maurice Sendak openly was not into the letters teachers forced students to write to him, because it was clear that they were being pressed into it and basically being told what to write.)
Chris Lamar stared at the blank paper. He wrote DEAR MR. Then he stopped. He raised his hand. “How do you spell ‘Bennett’?” he asked. He could hear a “B” sound and an “N” sound and a “T” sound. But he was pretty sure Bennett was not spelled BNT.
Should we just start a random POV switch count now? This is getting annoying. Chris and Audrey have nothing to say. Karen, unfortunately, does not have that problem.
Karen's letter reads as follows:
DEAR MR. BENNETT,
1. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
2. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
3. ARE YOU MARRIED?
4. DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?
5. DO YOU LIKE PETS?
6. HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU WRITTEN?
7. WHEN DID YOU WRITE YOUR FIRST BOOK?
8. DID YOU LIKE TO WRITE WHEN YOU WERE IN SECOND GRADE?
9. WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
11. ARE YOU FAMOUS?
LOVE, KAREN BREWER
At least she's actually asking questions about him instead of telling him about being a Two-Two, and her questions are mostly relevant. I remember one blogger I used to read before she became as insufferable as Karen herself went to a screening of some movie with a Q&A with Johnny Depp after. Melissa Gilbert was also there, and she kept calling on little kids to ask questions, and they kept coming up with stupid shit like asking JD if he liked eggs. I guess it was sweet of her, but it must have been really goddamn annoying to people with an actual interest in film and filmmaking.
Ricky's letter is delightfully passive-aggressive:
DEar Mr. BEnnett,
I am Ricky TORRES. I am 7. I go to Stnebruk Akadme. Everone here is mean. They laff at You and make fun if you make a mistake do not mak a mistak when you visit here.
Your freind,
Ricky Torres
P.S. I LIKE YouR Books.
(The random caps are, I'm assuming, the software the uploader used not knowing WTF to do with Ricky's handwriting font.)
Ms. Colman makes him start over, but he doesn't care, because what he really wanted was for her to know how mad he was. And of course, she doesn't say anything to him. She doesn't apologize or offer to help him come up with ways to stop feeling embarrassed or god forbid tell the other kids to stop being dicks and apologize.
I really don't understand why the kids who AREN'T loudmouthed little bullies like Ms. Colman. She sucks.
This is another Ann-written book (unsurprisingly; that woman fucking loves victim-blaming), and is dedicated to her sister and brother-in-law:
This book is in honor of Jane Martin and Doug McGrath, my sister and my brand-new brother-in-law. Congratulations!
I sincerely hope she got them a real wedding present, because this book is absolute garbage.
Hey, before I start, does anyone know offhand if Charles Tang did the regular LS series illustrations as well? The style is similar, but at the same time, the drawings in these books are MUCH LESS HORRIBLE, and things tend to be complete. I mean, they're still not good, but they're not horrific. Did he just finally take some drawing lessons?
Anyway, let's get to know the poor little boy who will one day be Karen's pretend husband.
The book opens with some onomatopoeia:
Drip, drip, drip. Drip-drop, drip.
and I'm momentarily bewildered because Peter Lerangis didn't write this one! Ricky is bored and looking out the window instead of paying attention in class. It's raining pretty hard, and he finds this more interesting than Ms. Colman. I'm sympathetic to that feeling. I also wonder now if this is why pretty much every classroom I've ever been in has either had very few windows, or been arranged so that the desks faced away from them. I never had anything to stare aimlessly at during class. Not that it ever made me pay attention.
Hannie the busybody scolds him to pay attention and oh my fucking god I hate when people do that. If you're my peer and not my superior, don't fucking tell me what to do! Even if you're old enough to be my grandmother, you don't get to tell me not to doodle during CBT group! (I...have some issues with this. It's only in the last couple of years that I've started looking my age; for most of my 20s I've been taken to be in my late teens, which I guess makes people think I need to be told what to do.)
We get another glowing description of Ms. C:
Ricky looked at his teacher. Mr. Colman was standing patiently at the front of her second-grade classroom. Mr. Colman was almost always patient. And friendly. She was not a yeller. She listened to kids. Ricky liked her very much. So did Hannie and the rest of her students. Ricky did not want to disappoint her.
It's cute that he likes her so much, but she isn't so much patient and a listener as she is a total pushover with her favorites and kind of a passive-aggressive bitch to the rest of the kids.
Also, Ms. Colman isn't actually saying anything, just standing at the front of the class silently. Then she opens her mouth to say...it's almost lunchtime so they can put their stuff away. WOW. Glad Hannie was a snotty bitch over something THAT important. Oh, and no recess because it's raining. While I want to slap Karen for loudly shouting "Boo and bullfrogs!" without being told to shove it, I have to agree. Indoor recess sucks. They can't send the kids to the gym to run around instead? SDA has its own gymnasium, right, not in a separate building? Let them run around aimlessly and throw some balls around in there if no one's using it.
After lunch, Ricky hilariously notes how Karen is basically treated like a queen:
When lunch was over, the kids in Ms. Colman’s class formed a line in the cafeteria. Rocky noticed that Karen was at the head of it. She usually was.
When you're seven, heading the line is a coveted position. My school always alternated, as did the day care/preschool prep place I used to work at. Also, at my school, line leader was also expected to hold the schoolyard doors for the entire rest of the class. With great power comes great responsibility. I'm sure Karen just lets them swing shut in everyone's face.
Ms. Colman has set out "math games" for everyone. The fuck? Also board games and art supplies.
Karen orders her friends around, because of course she does:
Karen dove for the markers. “Hannie! Nancy!” she called to her best friends. “Come here! We can make paper jewelry.” (Karen was so bossy.)
Heeeeeeee. I love how in the rest of these books, everyone just...hates Karen. I wonder if AMM included that stuff in response to readers commenting on how horrible Karen was.
Jannie and Leslie are loudly pissed because they were going to do that, but Ms. Colman "quietly" informs them that there's enough paper for everyone. Ugh, she's totally that teacher who lets the loud kids just bellow away and ignores the quiet ones because they're not constantly in her face, isn't she?
Sara and the twins are trying to play hopscotch in the classroom. I assumes this means they've been drawing on the floor. Hank and Bobby are drawing a picture of Natalie on the chalkboard. They don't go into detail, but I think we can all assume it's an unaffectionate caricature. Audrey is throwing erasers at people (people throw erasers a lot in Ms. Colman's class), and Chris is drawing on his sneakers with a marker.
Ms. Colman declares this an unacceptable level of pandemonium. Okay, I'm with her on the kids playing hopscotch inside, but here's the thing: the whole point of recess is for kids to burn off some energy and give them a chance to refocus. Of course they're antsy and rowdy. And none of the rest of the behavior sounds that crazy to me. OMG, drawing a picture of someone on the chalkboard! Drawing on your own sneakers! What the hell kind of world is this where shouting in class is just fine, but wanting to move around or goof off during recess is chaos?
Anyway, she declares mandatory storytime, which...seems really unfair to the kids who were actually behaving. It seems like Karen and company actually shut up and got down to business, and most of these kids aren't doing anything wrong! Tell the ones playing hopscotch to use their indoor legs or something, tell Audrey to quit throwing shit at people, tell the boys to quit drawing people they know if they are in fact making fun of her (again, it doesn't say, or even really imply anything; I just assumed so) and let everyone else have fun! Telling the kids to sit down and concentrate during the time of day allotted for them to be allowed to reset and refocus seems really unfair.
She sends Ricky to pick out a book and he comes back with Sloppy Sam by Robert Bennett. I have no idea if this is a real author or if this guy's a Megan Rinehart. I don't care enough to look it up.
Everyone is super-happy with the choice and we get a really, really weird ending line for the chapter:
And the kids settled down to listen to one of Mr. Bennett’s giggle books.
Wut.
Chapter two: Author Day
“Good morning, boys and girls,” said Ms. Colman.
Sara hurried to her seat. So did the other kids in Ms. Colman’s room. Another Monday was about to begin.
Wait, what the fuck just happened? Suddenly it's another day? Suddenly we're focusing on Sara instead of Ricky? I'm so confused.
I get even more confused when Ms. Colman has an announcement and suddenly, it's Karen's POV:
Oh, goody, thought Karen. One of Ms. Colman’s Surprising Announcements.
Did AMM just completely forget that this book is from Ricky's POV?
The announcement isn't as surprising to those of us who read the title of the chapter: A month from now will be Author Day.
I take back what I said about the art being better in these books. Apparently someone scrawled the day's PE schedule directly onto the wall, the kids are in school at 6:00, somehow a drawing was taped behind the wall clock, and there is something very wrong with these childrens' hands.
Anyway. Different authors will be visiting with the different classes. Ms. Colman asks the class to guess who will be visiting their class, and Natalie guesses Babar. Everyone laughs at her and Ms. Colman is basically like "No, you idiot, Robert Bennett." Everyone spazzes out. Audrey is bummed to learn that there will be no autographs allowed, because she was hoping to get her copy of Awful Alligators signed. This Bennett guy sure likes alliteration, huh?
The class will also be writing their own stories, one of which will be turned into a skit performed in front of Mr. Bennett. Ricky is excited and begins to anticipate the best day of his life. Since he's not Karen, we all know this is going to go south quickly. Let's see how!
Chapter 3: The Farting Puppy
We get another random omniscient moment at the opening of the chapter:
Every morning, the kids in Ms. Colman’s class had reading activities. Sometimes Ms. Colman read to the class. She would choose a good book and read a chapter from it each day. (Omar’s favorite had been James and the Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl.)
(AMM really loves pimping that book out, doesn't she?) THIS BOOK IS FROM RICKY'S POINT OF VIEW. JUST BECAUSE IT'S WRITTEN IN THE THIRD PERSON DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN MAGICALLY SEE INTO OTHER PEOPLES' HEADS!
Anyway, now they're reading a story about a puppy who wants to be adopted.
Jannie liked the sound of that. So did the other kids.
JUST STOP IT! *sobs*
Anyway, when it's Ricky's turn to read, the line is "the dog darted across the lawn." However, Ricky accidentally reads it as "the dog farted across the lawn." He doesn't catch himself and doesn't get why everyone else, including Ms. Colman, is giggling. Then he realizes what he said, then wants to die because he just said "farted" in front of the teacher. WHO IS NOT STOPPING ANYONE FROM LAUGHING AT HIM AND IS IN FACT BARELY KEEPING HERSELF FROM JOINING IN.
Is this the first time the word "farted" has been used in these books? I know people have DONE IT in embarrassing situations (at least, in Dawn and Too Many Sitters), but I feel like this is the first time the actual word has been used. It's kind of weird to see it in print in an AMM book. Like, vulgar or something.
“Okay, class. That is enough,” said Ms. Colman. (Ricky noticed she was still smiling, though.) “Class,” Mr. Colman had to say again. And then, “Boys and girls, please. Please settle down.”
Poor Ricky. Nothing pisses me off more than when teachers laugh at kids when they're embarrassed or worse, being picked on. It would be different if Ricky was also laughing, but he's clearly embarrassed. Ms. Colman says he "may" continue. Ricky has the understandable response of OH HELL NO.
Ms. Colman at least has the sense to let it go and tells Natalie to pick up. I thought Natalie wasn't supposed to read out loud in class because her lisp embarrassed her. Ricky also refuses to read a math problem aloud. In fact, he is never going to read anything out loud ever again, as he feels this will "show them." I would think that it would keep reminding the kids of the incident and make them laugh even more, but it's seven-year-old logic; I won't argue with it.
Also, we get a possibly unintentional display of character continuity:
Ricky was mad at everybody he was especially mad at Hannie, Karen, Hank, Bobby and Leslie. All the kids had laughed at him that morning. But they had laughed the loudest of all.
It seems that Leslie's sole character trait is kicking people when they're down. Hank and Bobby are obnoxious little boys throughout the series, though not horrible kids. Hannie is generally a decent kid, but can be a bit obnoxious (which is awesome when it's aimed at Karen; at the other kids not so much). And it seems that again, from someone else's perspective, Karen is a loudmouth and a bully.
Chapter 4: Dear Mr. Bennett
It's yet another Monday morning, and, as usual, the kids aren't doing fuck-all but dicking around. In a surprisingly timely pop culture reference, Audrey is hoarding POGs in her desk. I liked POGs. I miss POGs. I think I still have some in here somewhere. Leslie is watching Omar draw a superhero. Jannie is spying on the class next door.
Ms. Colman, of course, says nothing except it's time to start writing letters to Mr. Bennett.
Terri raised her hand. “What are we supposed to say?” she asked.
“We could tell Mr. Bennett about ourselves,” suggested Sara.
“Like who’s in our family,” added Chris.
“And if we have pets,” said Jannie.
“If you have farting puppies,” added Leslie.
Ricky stuck his tongue out at Leslie. And Ms. Colman said “Now, now.”
Ms. Colman sucks. (And I don't think Mr. Bennett really gives a fuck about your families and pets. I always liked how Maurice Sendak openly was not into the letters teachers forced students to write to him, because it was clear that they were being pressed into it and basically being told what to write.)
Chris Lamar stared at the blank paper. He wrote DEAR MR. Then he stopped. He raised his hand. “How do you spell ‘Bennett’?” he asked. He could hear a “B” sound and an “N” sound and a “T” sound. But he was pretty sure Bennett was not spelled BNT.
Should we just start a random POV switch count now? This is getting annoying. Chris and Audrey have nothing to say. Karen, unfortunately, does not have that problem.
Karen's letter reads as follows:
DEAR MR. BENNETT,
1. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
2. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
3. ARE YOU MARRIED?
4. DO YOU HAVE ANY KIDS?
5. DO YOU LIKE PETS?
6. HOW MANY BOOKS HAVE YOU WRITTEN?
7. WHEN DID YOU WRITE YOUR FIRST BOOK?
8. DID YOU LIKE TO WRITE WHEN YOU WERE IN SECOND GRADE?
9. WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER?
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
11. ARE YOU FAMOUS?
LOVE, KAREN BREWER
At least she's actually asking questions about him instead of telling him about being a Two-Two, and her questions are mostly relevant. I remember one blogger I used to read before she became as insufferable as Karen herself went to a screening of some movie with a Q&A with Johnny Depp after. Melissa Gilbert was also there, and she kept calling on little kids to ask questions, and they kept coming up with stupid shit like asking JD if he liked eggs. I guess it was sweet of her, but it must have been really goddamn annoying to people with an actual interest in film and filmmaking.
Ricky's letter is delightfully passive-aggressive:
DEar Mr. BEnnett,
I am Ricky TORRES. I am 7. I go to Stnebruk Akadme. Everone here is mean. They laff at You and make fun if you make a mistake do not mak a mistak when you visit here.
Your freind,
Ricky Torres
P.S. I LIKE YouR Books.
(The random caps are, I'm assuming, the software the uploader used not knowing WTF to do with Ricky's handwriting font.)
Ms. Colman makes him start over, but he doesn't care, because what he really wanted was for her to know how mad he was. And of course, she doesn't say anything to him. She doesn't apologize or offer to help him come up with ways to stop feeling embarrassed or god forbid tell the other kids to stop being dicks and apologize.
I really don't understand why the kids who AREN'T loudmouthed little bullies like Ms. Colman. She sucks.