42 Karen's Pizza Party ch 1-3
Okay I cannot sleep so I have decided to start a snark of Karen’s Pizza Party by demand (it was this one or Mary Anne’s Secret Life) because we all love Karen’s brattiness. Karen being a brat comes from the fact that Karen always seems to get what she wants, this book being no exception. Somehow everything works out for Karen. I don’t know how much I will get done tonight, but we shall start
This book starts off in Karen’s school, one of three main locations for Karen. Hannie is complaining about her sister, while Karen agrees that little sisters and brothers are pests and Nancy denies this claim for she loves her baby brother Danny. Karen, the brat, tells Nancy to wait until Danny is older. Incidentally, Karen does not seem to be aware that she is a time vortex where time stands still and Nancy will never experience an older Daniel. Karen also seems to forget that she, too, is a little sister and by virtue that all little sisters and brothers are pests is acknowledging that she is a pest. Karen also gets in an insult about Bobby, the class bully, who we have learned is not actually a bully. He is apparently the only unlucky thing about Ms Colman’s class, I suspect that Karen has forgotten about her long-standing feud with one Ms Pamela Harding (It’s the obvious subliminal messaging here that Ann tells us whose side she was on in Kerrigan v. Harding, neverminding the fact that LS 7 happened way before that), for I am certain Karen would deem Pamela to be additionally unlucky. Karen graces our presence by introducing herself to us, pointless facts that have no bearing on the story- if it is not going to impact the telling of the story we don’t need to know it. And the fact that you are fake married is not an important element to this story. In another shocking turn of event Ms Colman has a surprising announcement, raise your hand if you’re surprised. This book apparently happens in September because Ms C talks about repairs that were happening over the summer and not yet finished. The classrooms were supposed to be painted but were not finished, and the teachers decided at a meeting “yesterday” (whatever that means in this time vortex) to do the work now, as opposed to next summer. Is this actually a faculty decision? Because of this the class will be relocated to the auditorium and Hootie & the Blowfish need to be taken home for a month while the classroom is painted. Of course, Karen volunteers without asking her parents if they want another rodent in their house. Given the fact that Karen has two cats, two dogs, two goldfish, and a rat, Ms Colman should allow petless children the experience of taking care of a pet. But this is Karen’s universe where everything works out for Karen.
Chapter 2
In another surprising turn of an event Karen decides to tell us what it means to be a two-two, as though we’re too incompetent to consider the possibility that her parents are divorced, because that never happens. Although, I suppose the ‘brook does have a surprisingly low divorce rate since hardly anyone is divorced in the ‘brook. Karen asks Lisa about the rodent and Lisa says she will have to talk to Watson- oh the terror. I don’t know why they don’t just tell Karen no, she has 7 pets between two houses, let someone like Natalie who has nothing but droopy socks in her life have a chance. Although I suppose she’d probably turn Hootie into Droopy…
Chapter 3
Lisa & Watson agree to allow Karen the chance to take Hootie & the Blowfish, because that is how it works in Karen’s world. Karen goes to school and tells Ms Colman she can take the rodent, but then Hank, the Twins, Leslie, and Addie from Australia also all have permission to take the rodent. Ms. Colman is unsure what to do about this- it’s simple to me there are 4 weeks in a month, let Hank do one week, Twins one, Leslie one, and Addie the Australian one and Karen none because she has SEVEN pets and TWO houses, unlike the rest. After school Hannie the Greek’s mother is waiting for them to take them all shopping, along with Linny, I am sure he loves that. They pass the Pizza Express and Karen demands they go in because there is a sign that says “You could be the next Pizza King or Queen enter now”- Karen wants to go in so she can be the next Queen and so do Hannie the Greek and Nancy the Redhead. Karen learns that the Queen will be in ads, on a tv commercial, on a billboard and receive 1000$, this is too good to be true for Karen-her face all over the news, god help the Brook. And of course Karen enters because in addition to 7 pets, 2 houses, and being the daughter of a “real live” millionaire, Karen needs to take 1000$ away from someone like Natalie who has nothing but droopy socks.
Okay the next chapter is entitled Karen’s Lucky Day where the extreme brattiness begins, so I will leave that for rested soul… Good Night All!