#39 Karen's Wedding ch 15-20
And the exciting conclusion I know you’ve all been waiting for
Chapter 15
Karen channels her inner KRon and has a good idea, not a great idea like her best big sister KRon, just a good idea. It’s the night before the wedding and Ms Cs family, close friends and Karen’s LH family were invited to dinner. Karen’s knot was gone and Mrs H helped us with the gift problem- again I don’t see how this was a fixable problem unless Mrs H bought a new cup and had it engraved or she suggested they give it to Ms C as is as symbolism for her marriage- that mistakes will be made but that doesn’t make the marriage/cup any less special and you need to look past the mistake and look at the person… but I doubt Ann is that creative… Karen feels it necessary to tell us that Seth parked the car on the road, I figured he parked it on the dock of the bay, but good to know he parked it on the road. Although, I suppose if she lives in the country he could have parked it on the lawn. Ms. C has a pizza for the three kids, with no anchovies. Ms C locks the three kids in the den with the tv so the adults can have their adult party with the bongs and booze- I imagine that mushrooms are involved in the adult food… (which reminds of the time I ate ‘shrooms. I’d never eaten a mushroom before in my life, it was Halloween and I was 17 in residence for the first time, the dons called to tell us to be careful of our mushrooms. I wanted to try one- best food ever. Ha!)….. Anyways I digress, Andrew is kicked out of the tv room because Karen needs to talk to Caroline in private. Karen actually shows an ounce of decency and maturity when she tells Caroline to be the flower girl, stating that she is Ms Cs niece and deserves it. But Caroline is much too shy to walk down the aisle and tries to explain to Karen that not everyone wants to be the centre of the universe. And then Karen becomes Kristy by having a Great Idea, no longer a good idea, but a great one. She thinks they should be co-flower girls so that way Caroline doesn’t have to walk alone. Karen offers to give Caroline her dress, but Caroline says she has her own dress. And then they realize they should tell Ms C they’ve changed her wedding plans. I don’t suggest doing this now as they are probably drunk and high… but I suppose that is the best time to tell someone something…
Chapter 16
It’s the day of the wedding; Ms C is probably so hung-over that she is probably still drunk from the night before as she realized what she has done in asking Karen to be in her wedding… It’s a sunny day, of course it is- this is BSC world where everything magically works out. I wish my life was like that, just working out the way I want. Karen doesn’t want to eat, but Seth tells her to eat since it’s a long time until lunch. I don’t see why you’re forcing her to eat, if she isn’t hungry she isn’t hungry, why not give her a snack later, before lunch… She gets dressed and puts on her underwear, I am kind of curious why she had to put this on presumably she was wearing it before and there is no mention of her showering or bathing. I also don’t know why AMM wants to tell us this factoid. Karen apparently did her own hair- seriously? This wedding is just oh so classy, allowing a 7 year old to do her own hair… Andrew comes in wearing a suit and tool belt, Karentator demands he get dressed and he says he is- based on the drawing I’d say he was. Andrew refuses to take off the belt- good for him, he got the raw deal this book. He enters the church wearing the tool belt- who cares? Its not like he’s in the wedding, let him wear the damn belt. And in big sister awesomness Karen pretends Andrew is from another family- oh Karen, I imagine he was doing the same to you… Karen’s class starts to arrive at the church and Karen notices the camera, not realizing that there would be photographers. Caroline shows up wearing a straw hat and gloves like Karen- that is all, no dress, no shoes- just a straw hat and gloves-that’s one way to get noticed… The photographer calls upon the girls for a portrait with the entire wedding party- um, isn’t the groom supposed to see the bride for the first time when she comes down the aisle- why are you doing your wedding photos before the actually wedding? I have a lot to learn about wedding apparently. And then cue the music- it’s probably Pachelbel’s Canon in D
Chapter 17
Oh apparently it was the hear comes the bride song, canon in D is much nicer. The organ was playing- no Karen, the organ was not- the organist was playing the organ, but the organ was not. After the bridesmaids Karen and Caroline walk down the aisle and Karen forgets to drop the rose petals until Nancy nudges her from her seat. Ms C is walking down the aisle with Brother in Law- but its also weird because she’s described as walking down the aisle before Karen reaches the minister- unless it’s a large church doesn’t the bride wait until everyone else is at the front? The organist usually does a whole introduction piece everyone turns around, stands up and watches as the bride comes in- would she really be walking down the aisle the same time as others in the wedding party? Ms C is at the front and everyone is looking at her- well, duh. Karen feels it necessary to remind us that Andrew is still wearing his tool-belt- WHY IS THIS EVEN AN ISSUE… A lot of people were crying, including two men. Oddly enough it is mentioned that Ms Cs mother is here- where in the heck did she come from?? Karen does not realize it is because they are unable to get married. The minister starts to talk and Karen says “I think he likes to talk”, no Karen, this is what ministers do- I should know I am one. There are a lot of things we have to do at weddings that involve us talking, just because you are not listening to what he says do not mean he likes to talk- he is DOING HIS JOB. Karen wonders who else was married in this church- probably your mom and her sugar daddy, that’s probably why Lisa was crying… The minister does the vows and says they can kiss- Karen says “I did not think teachers kissed in public”- seriously Karen, they are real people too you buttfan. The seven year olds are all laughing and their parents are frowning of embarrassment, yeah that’s why you don’t invite 7 year olds to your wedding. And with that the wedding is over.
Chapter 18
The guests were given birdseed to throw instead of rice, good for you since rice is bad. But I imagine the minister and church will be unamused to have birdseed over their lawn… Ms C and Mr S get in a car that says just married and are going to a restaurant- nobody is invited except a couple important people to Ms C and Mr S, which of course includes Karen and nobody else in the class. Hannie is still in shock over seeing their teacher kiss in public, it’s really not that big of a deal it’s a freakin’ wedding. And Karen you are the wedding expert, didn’t you realize this? The food is a buffet, which Andrew likes because it reminds him of Chuckie’s Happy House, he wonders if they will get free sundae coupons, the innocence of a four year old is precious. Karen is a jerk by rudely telling him they are not at Chuckie’s Happy House, ugh. Why can you not just be nice, he didn’t say it was he was curious if he’d get a free sundae… There is room for dancing which is exciting for Karen because first she saw her teacher kiss and now she will see her dance… Karen is going to be a stalker when she is older I think. The serving staff offer the guests drinks, I imagine its because they saw Karen and knew they would need drinks. Karen eats and then decides to dance. Her first dance is with Seth, she also dances with Mommy and Mr S (who has clearly used the bong), and tries to dance with Andrew, which fails. Then they do their toast just as Karen is getting bored, they got the cake and Ms C throws the bouquet, which Karen cannot participate in since she is married. Seriously- it almost says that- Karen didn’t try to catch it because she is already married to Ricky… oh my, I would love book 200 “Karen’s Divorce” which follows “Ricky’s Mistress”…
Chapter 19
Caroline and Karen decide to be penpals, oh jeez do we really need a rehash of what happens when Karen has a penpal? Two weeks later, Ms C is pregnant after having fun on her honeymoon, logically she has to be since she has a baby while Karen is in grade two, right?... The class is waiting for her; Natalie is worried she won’t come back. Ms C apparently went to Niagara Falls for her honeymoon. As someone who grew up a few hours away from Niagara Falls I always forget that this is actually a tourist destination. When I moved out east to Halifax all the kids I worked with at the church were amazed that I had seen Niagara Falls and even more when they asked if I’d seen the CN Tower and I told them my apartment actually had a direct view of the tower. It’s funny to me to meet people who have never seen the CN Tower or Niagara Falls. Natalie gives Ms C the gift, Ms C loves it and then turns it around and sees the engraving. Natalie takes responsibility for everything and apologizes, tells her that they raised the money and did not have enough for a new cup. Ms C doesn’t care and loves the cup anyways-how exactly did Mrs H help solve the problem??? They tell Ms C how they raised the money, it’s a precious moment
Chapter 20- is boring.
This just Caroline and Karen writing each other, nothing interesting to note; Karen tells Caroline about people going over the Falls in barrels and doesn’t understand why. I wonder what Karen would think now if she knew about Nik Wallenda… And Karen cannot spell Congratulations, except unlike Claudia after realizing she cannot spell it she changes the word to something she knows- Good for you…
And with that Karen’s Wedding is done… I may start another one today as it is cold out and I on bed rest…