Abby's Lucky Thirteen-Conclusion
Chapter ten-Abby's dreading the showdown at the SMS Corral between Mrs. Frost and her mother. Until she sees Mary Anne buying a study guide from the same guy. In slow motion, she dives toward MA. She leaps in front of Mary Anne, catching the bullet before it can hit her. Abby drops to the floor. Kristy runs in and shoots the bad guy. He gasps and falls into the fountain, as MA kneels over Abby's body, shaking her...
No wait. I'm thinking of the ending to 'First Kid.'
MA tells Abby that Study Guide boy is actually Brad Simon. Abby tells MA the whole sob story, and gets this classic Mary Anne reaction:
"Oh, Abby. Oh, how awful for you."
No, what's awful is Abby's response: I would have gotten a little choked up over her concern for me... Uh, wha? You would've cried? For that? Whenever I play it in my mind, MA's voice sounds weepy and whiny and irritating as hell. Previous knowelege about Mary Anne Spier indicates I am correct.
At the end of the day, MA and Abby S. go to Mrs. Frost and show her the study guide. Frosty hesitates and Abby gets pissed: How could anyone ever doubt pure, perfect Mary Anne? She yells that MA would never lie, getting the jaw drop reaction from both.
Then I get pissed: Mrs. Frost apologizes and Abby actually accepts it. This be-yotch calls her a liar, suspends her without justification (after Abby told the truth), and now she's in a corner and the only way out is an apology. In real life, this kind of thing would get her fired or at least a stern reprimand with only one more chance. Then again, maybe not. I had a nasty teacher in junior high who regularly insulted his students ("You don't get this? You must be stupid! I'll be glad to fail all of you, because I don't like a single one of you!" Unaltered quotes, people.), and he stayed until retirement, despite numerous complaints, some of them from my mother.
Anyway, Ms. Stevenson walks in, Abby tells her not to bother and all is right with the world. BO-gus!
Chapter eleven-The less said, the better. Karen and crew put on their own show, and it's painful. In fact, my stomach already hurts, so I'm not going to go into it.
Chapter twelve-Attack of the Stevensons clan. They swarm into Stoneybrook for the Bat Mitzvah. Actually, this chapter is pretty much all about family and food. Not much to snark on, except that the BSC think Karen's play was wonderful. Oh barfola.
Chapter thirteen-Mitzvah time! After the Torah reading, both girls are required to make a speech; Anna does the cool thing and allows her violin to "speak" for her. Neat.
Abby talks about what she's gone through in the past week. Snoreeeee.
Anna and Abby's Hebrew names are Hannah and Avigail. Hannah? Why not just Anna? There's an Anna as well as a Hannah in the Bible (Anna may have been in the New Testament, but she was Jewish.)
And Avigail? Is this a Jewish spelling of Abigail? The only Abigail I remember is one of David's wives (Though this site says David also had a sister named Abigail.).
They go home and dance the Horah. Abby's favorite artist is Aretha Franklin. They light the candles on the cake.
Chapter fourteen-Sleep over! In addition to the usual BSC crowd, Shannon sleeps over because she's Anna's friend.
Last paragraph in the book:
"Ms. Abigail Stevenson," I said aloud in the dark. "Ms. Abigail Avigail Stevenson." Then I grinned. "But you can call me Abby."
Um, Ms. Abigail Stevenson, who are you talking to? Crazy person!
That's all she...(checks ghostwriter credit) Yep. That's all she wrote! Good thing, or my brain might explode.