BSC video: Kristy and the Great Campaign (Part 1)
Greetings from a newbie/former lurker! Hey, did you know that it really sucks when you throw your back out? I always assumed that was the case and this morning, I found out firsthand when I innocently bent over to pick something up off the floor and an invisible man shanked my lower back. Sadist. Anyway, since I'm confined to my bed, might as well snark right? I couldn't find this particular video on the tag list so I'm going to assume I'm the first to attempt it. Also this is my first re-cap and I'm on painkillers so go easy on me.
Some language beyond the cut, so I'll say NSFW.
We open to a scene where the BSC are playing dodgeball/keep away (not sure which) with their charges outside, in the snow that will disappear and re-appear throughout the episode at random. It seems to me these Babysitters should widen their playing circle before someone gets hit in the head with a ball at close range, but what do I know? Sure enough, Jackie Rodowsky, or He-Who-Must-Be-Shat-Upon, is creamed in the back of the head by one of his brothers. Jackie is spaced out, then calls out to a girl named Courtney on the other side of playground. We find out that she is shy and Jackie's bro announces to everyone that Jackie has a crush on her. The BSC start teasing him because they're mature like that, and Jackie, like any boy his age would do, denies it and says that "girls are totally gross!" To which the BSC cry but what about us? Um, I think the statement stands for itself. Jackie responds with "You're... you're not girls... you're... you're babysitters!" This is the funniest thing in the history of ever, and the Cult shrieks with laughter. Okay then.
Cue the theme song that is so sugary sweet, I'm surprised it never sent Stacey into a diabetic coma. Moving on!
Next scene is a Cult meeting and it's freaking boring. Kristy chides Claudia for not writing in The Notebook to which I ask: krsti y wood u waunt her too? Also it turns out Claudia ate an entire large bag of M&M's from the junk food stash because she was stressed out over math. That's it, 20 lashes at the post! But wait! Before the corporal punishment can began a Mrs. Weston calls and she's... Courtney's mother! Kristy says she'll babysit for Courtney, which apparently involves picking her up after school and heading over to the video store to meet a bunch of other kids. The Cult then obsesses over Jackie's "crush" some more and I really want to slap them all. Seriously? He said hi to her. That does not necessarily mean he has a crush on the girl, maybe he's just being nice. Even if he does why do you care so much? Stop being such creepers. Stacey laments the time he apparently liked her and so do I, because Little Pete- I mean, Jackie is adorable and so much better than these emotionally stunted teenaged girls.
I'd like to think Petunia is his main squeeze anyhow.
The next day (or whatever) Kristy goes to pick up Courtney and she's wearing a birthday cone hat and singing to the class pets. She speaks! They go to the video store and everyone is sitting in a circle, videos scattered everywhere as they try to pick out which one to rent. You know the minimum-wage employees are annoyed by these shenanigans, luckily Courtney suggests a video that is both funny and scary, to everyone's satisfaction. Except for mine, because the funny/scary movie in question is not the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Oh Rocky!
Kristy shouts "You're a genius!" while knocking over a cardboard display to prove that she is not and I enjoy the contrast. Next we meet a really douche-tastic eight year old named Jeremy running for student council. Wait... what? I think in elementary school we only had mock "elections" that usually took place around actual election times. But it's not like the kids had to actually do anything once elected, and everyone just voted for their friends anyway. Jeremy is taking this third grade election way too seriously, which is the theme of the rest of the episode. In case the political title didn't tip you off. Kristy snots about Jeremy because she's secretly jealous that someone else can be so domineering and be a bigger attention whore than her can for a change. Turns out she also hates his older brother Justin, who has the same personality as Jeremy- and dared to beat Kristy in a science fair! I knew it was rooted in jealousy. Oh K. Ron, you're so transparent, I love it.
Back at... Courtney's house? There's a butt ton of kids and sitters playing Simon Says. In the next room we find out that Jeremy is running unopposed in the upcoming student council race which gives Kristy a Great Idea! Courtney should run against Jeremy! Courtney, of course, is against the idea because she's shy remember? If you thought even for a minute that K. Ron would respect Courtney's wishes to not draw attention to herself well then shame on you. No really, just go home. Why would she consider the feelings of her charges when she can live vicariously through them, and in her mind vanquish her old science fair foe....'s little brother? Seek professional help, Kristy!
This has nothing to do with anything except that I like psych jokes.
Next is a library scene, where the girls are cutting up and acting annoying. It's a library, shush already. Kristy slams a pile of thick political books down on the table and declares that Courtney will run for student council!!!!!!!!!!!1ELEVENTY
...despite the fact that she doesn't want to, because Courtney has some "got some great ideas". Wait a minute, I thought only K. Ron was allowed to have Great Ideas? Also, she keeps going on about how Courtney has a self confidence problem because she's moved around a lot and she's shy. Um, hello? Not wanting to run in a student election does not equal having a self confidence problem! Dawn tries to relate by saying how tough the move from California was for her, and really I think it's just a way to get the word "California" into the episode, because that's Dawn's most important character trait. Or something. Anyway, K. Ron rallies up the rest of the BSC into becoming Courtney's campaign managers. Everyone is all gung-ho about it except for Mary Anne, who is hesitant. She questions "maybe we should find out how she feels about it?" Oh, Mary Anne. This is K. Ron we're talking about here. How many times do we have to tell you the KID'S feelings on the matter don't count. Your basic human decency sensitivity is unwanted here!
Tonight the role of Mary Anne will be played by a Papillon.
Parts 2 and 3 coming soon!