#17 Mary Anne and the Bad Luck Mystery (Part 2)
So I'm currently reading the saddest BSC book on my normal read-through (Claudia and the Sad Good-bye) so I need to cheer myself up. What better way to cheer myself up than by continuing the snark on Mary Anne and the Bad Luck Mystery. For those of you who missed it, here's the link to part one:
Chapters 1-5
So last time, Mary Anne broke a chain letter and got a bad luck necklace. Then, because her day sucked, she started to bitch at her friends. Because she's the sensitive one. Let's dive right in shall we?
Chapter Six.
So Saturday, the day after she got the bad luck charm, she sat for Jamie and he acted like a normal four year old. The horrors! He spilled things. He skinned his knee. But a band-aid made it all better. So really, not that bad of a day if you ask me.
Monday at school, there was a fire, an explosion in a science lab, and Miranda Shillaber (one of their former outside BSC friends) sprained her ankle in gym. Mary Anne thinks this is all her fault. Because the world revolves around Mary Anne Spier and the rest of the BSC. Kristy suggests that it may just be a coincidence (like the rest of the sane world believes) but Mary Anne doesn't think that Kristy believes her own words. Because she's not making gross comments about the hot lunch. Wouldn't that be considered a good thing in the normal world? Mary Anne hates when Kristy grosses her out. She should consider that good luck...
She ponders her necklace some more and thinks the seed is just in there planning some evil. Also she's seeing bad luck omens everywhere. Her dad opened an umbrella in the house. A black cat crossed her path (and she didn't try to take it home to be Tigger's new BFF...) She also picked up a penny on the floor that was on tails. She also saw a grim so she thinks she's going to die. Wait, this isn't Harry Potter. The grim thing didn't happen. It would've been awesome if it had.
So anyway, Mary Anne decides that the bad luck charm is a curse and that they need to do something about it. While they're talking, Mary Anne notices that Cokie, Grace, and some of their friends are staring at them. She gets embarassed and tells them to be quiet because it seems like people are listening. Dawn gives us this gem:
"Its no wonder," whispered Dawn. "This is probably the most fascinating conversation they've heard in weeks."
No, Dawn, it isn't. I work in a call center at a hotel. The calls are boring, but damn they're more fascinating than this conversation about the forces of evil in the form of a seed necklace. The girls start to giggle and Logan escapes. He's such a great boyfriend, isn't he?
They decide that the necklace is bad luck after all. Mary Anne says that maybe the bad luck is just following her. So everyone scoots away. THE BEST FRIENDS YOU'LL EVER HAVE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Mary Anne is like 'Thanks a lot!' but her friends stay far away from her like she's got the black plague. Oh middle schoolers. You're just so mature.
They decide to go the library after school to research curses. Claudia doesn't want to go but Kristy demands that she goes. She also says that Jessi and Mal (who aren't even here for this conversation because they're lowly sixth graders) will be going. No one has a choice. The president has spoken! The only one who gets out of it is Logan because he's an associate. They don't even mention inviting Shannon, because she's only an associate. I bet Claud wishes she were an associate member right now.
They go to the library and use the card catalogue to find books on Witchcraft. They're on the lowest shelf (which Mary Anne considers good luck) and they sit on the floor and look through them. I'm shocked that Stoneybrook has books on witchcraft. It seems like such a white bread town. Like the one I was raised in. That town didn't have books on witchcraft in the library, much to my chagrin. Mal says that they have to find the right spell and Mary Anne suggests asking Karen. Kristy, thankfully, puts a big old kibosh on that plan. Each girl checks out one book at five and they go to their meeting.
Chapter Seven.
Jessi is baby-sitting Jamie. He's afraid of Halloween. He's so cute. Jamie says he's afraid of ghosts and Jessi tells him not all ghosts are mean. She takes him to her house and reads him Georgie books. Because Georgie is a cute friendly ghost. But before they leave, bad luck strikes. The button falls off of Jamie's jacket. Oh, the horrors! Jessi sews it back on and they leave to Casa Ramsey.
They read. Jamie decides to go as Georgie for Halloween. Really, not much in this chapter.
Chapter Eight.
Pike sitting chapter. Its Claudia and Mal. I'm using a Kindle so I don't have to suffer through the handwritings. Thank Goodness!!! However, I still have to deal with Claudia's awful spelling.
Anyway, its a bad day at the Pike house. The Pikes left them some Daddy Stew for dinner and tells the sitters not to turn up the heat. Byron, being the fattie that he is, turns up the heat. The Daddy Stew burns. Before Byron can be properly punished for burning dinner, they hear a scream. They run into the living room and find a bird. Vanessa is being attacked by a bird. Later, she will write a 700 page poem about this event.
While they're trying to figure out how to catch the bird, Claire wonders if the bird knows Santa Claus. After all, it came down the chimney like Santa. The bird saves Claire from her siblings ridicule when the bird attacks Margo. Surprisingly, Margo doesn't puke Am I still reading the BSC? Margo moved and didn't vomit? This can't be right. Mallory figures out how to catch the bird. Open all of the windows and let the bird fly out. Why is it that the junior members are the most logical in this series? Margo ends up being bossy and orders the bird out of the house. It works. She's the future Kristy Thomas. Its proof.
Claudia turns around to start closing windows and sees a bloody Vanessa. She lost a tooth eating a piece of candy.
Finally, the Pikes and Claudia sit down to tuna fish sandwiches for dinner. The rest of the night is uneventful, except for the fact that the Pikes are late and Mal freaks out. They were stuck in traffic.
This bad day was compliments of Mary Anne Spier. The world does revolve around Mary Anne. Its a fact.
Chapter Nine.
Kristy calls an emergency meeting of the BSC. Its Mary Anne's fault.
At the meeting, they begin looking through the spell books. This chapter pisses me off so much, because I'm a Pagan. I could tell you how to rid the charm of negative energy and it doesn't include the scrapings of the underside of a sea slug or whatever. Anyway, the books were left at Claudia's house and Mary Anne asks if the books have done anything weird. Because books dance and shit like that. Wow. My head. It hurts. Kristy scolds Mary Anne for taking this too lightly. After all, its Mary Anne's fault that they're in this mess. You're just so sweet, Kristy. Go to hell.
Claudia passes around tootsie rolls to break the tension. Everyone but Dawn takes one. Dawn's a bitch. I mean, seriously, listen to this:
We each took a Tootsie Roll, except for Dawn, who said it would rot her teeth.
"The rest of you will be wearing dentures when you're ninety," she told us. "But I'll still have all my own teeth."
"If I live to be nienty," said Claudia, "I'll just be glad to be alive, teeth or no teeth. You know --"
I love Claudia. She's kind of awesome, even if she can't spell for siht. <-- did that on purpose.
Anyway, they shut up cuz Kristy is giving them a 'look'.
Jessi finds a spell using a white rose that takes two months. Mary Anne is incredibly interested in a love spell she found. Careful, Logan. Mrs. Kishi almost bursts in on their magic time and Claudia tells them all to calm down. While they're reading, a storm starts to roll in. That's probably Mary Anne's fault too. Dawn finds a possible spell, until she gets into the rest of the ingredients. Which includes hairs from an ox's tale and the scrapings from the underside of a sea snake. Mary Anne thinks she's making this up.
When they can't find anything, Mary Anne thinks they're going about it the wrong way. She thinks they need to curse the person who cursed them. Because Karma, the Law of Three, that stuff doesn't exist in Stoneybrook. God, I hate this book. Kristy gets mad at Mary Anne for throwing away the box and envelope the bad luck charm came in. They recall book 2 and the Phantom Phone Caller. Then they start talking about the Halloween Hop. We get to find out on the dates:
Claudia is going with Austin Bentley.
Jessi isn't going because she's black and that's not allowed.
Mallory isn't going because her parents need slave labor that night.
Okay they're not going cuz their parents won't let them cuz they are too young.
Kristy isn't going because she's sick of going places with the jerk, Alan Gray.
Dawn is going solo.
Mary Anne is of course going with Logan, her one true love.
Oh we also find out that Grace Blume is seriously crushing on Logan. What's that I hear? A clue? Nope, its just Mary Anne whining that even Grace liking Logan is bad luck. The hell Mary Anne. Go to therapy.
Chapter Ten.
Time for the Halloween Hop. Mary Anne and Logan are going as cats from the musical Cats. Yes, matching costumes. This is so lame. And Logan agreed to this. Just because Mary Anne is dressed like a pussy doesn't mean you're going to be able to touch hers, Logan. I'm sorry. Dressing like a tom cat isn't going to get you lucky. She's not quite in heat yet.
Mary Anne shows her costume to Tigger and he gets freaked out. I love Tigger. I don't care. He's adorable. I know, I sound like Mary Anne. Mary Anne shows her dad the costume and he asks why she's wearing the necklace. After all, it takes away from the costume. She says she likes it, but refuses to touch the necklace so she must not like it THAT much. Richard says she looks like an amazing cat and tells her to be home at ten.
Dawn didn't put on any make-up for the dance, so you can see her green face and warty nose. Wait, that is her costume? She's dressing like her personality then? I don't know. Claudia really didn't dress up and we don't get too much of a description. Just that she's wearing a wild floral outfit, gigantic hair clip, and bangle bracelets.
Cokie and Grace are of course staring, creeping out Mary Anne. She mentions it to Claudia and we get this:
"Oh they just think they're better than everyone else."
"Really?" I replied. "That's funny. I always thought that they thought that we thought we were better than everyone else."
Claudia grinned. "Well, we are."
I grinned too.
These girls really aren't self-centered at all are they? Logan and Mary Anne eat instead of dancing. Finally they dance to a slow song. Cokie interrupts a few dances later to dance with Logan. Before they make the switch, Cokie compliments Mary Anne on her cute costume and nice bad-luck charm. Mary Anne kind of freaks out, but she doesn't cry. I'm really thinking that I'm not reading the BSC now. Because I don't think that Mary Anne has cried in this book. I'm scared.
After the dance, Mary Anne finds a threatening letter attached to her house door. Its telling her and the other BSC members to meet at Old Hickory's grave at midnight the next night. Halloween. On a full moon. Yipes. I think she needs a Scooby snack!
Okay, that's the end of that. Chapters 11-15 will be up at some point. Will we ever figure out who sent her the charm? Find out in the next installment.
Chapters 1-5
So last time, Mary Anne broke a chain letter and got a bad luck necklace. Then, because her day sucked, she started to bitch at her friends. Because she's the sensitive one. Let's dive right in shall we?
Chapter Six.
So Saturday, the day after she got the bad luck charm, she sat for Jamie and he acted like a normal four year old. The horrors! He spilled things. He skinned his knee. But a band-aid made it all better. So really, not that bad of a day if you ask me.
Monday at school, there was a fire, an explosion in a science lab, and Miranda Shillaber (one of their former outside BSC friends) sprained her ankle in gym. Mary Anne thinks this is all her fault. Because the world revolves around Mary Anne Spier and the rest of the BSC. Kristy suggests that it may just be a coincidence (like the rest of the sane world believes) but Mary Anne doesn't think that Kristy believes her own words. Because she's not making gross comments about the hot lunch. Wouldn't that be considered a good thing in the normal world? Mary Anne hates when Kristy grosses her out. She should consider that good luck...
She ponders her necklace some more and thinks the seed is just in there planning some evil. Also she's seeing bad luck omens everywhere. Her dad opened an umbrella in the house. A black cat crossed her path (and she didn't try to take it home to be Tigger's new BFF...) She also picked up a penny on the floor that was on tails. She also saw a grim so she thinks she's going to die. Wait, this isn't Harry Potter. The grim thing didn't happen. It would've been awesome if it had.
So anyway, Mary Anne decides that the bad luck charm is a curse and that they need to do something about it. While they're talking, Mary Anne notices that Cokie, Grace, and some of their friends are staring at them. She gets embarassed and tells them to be quiet because it seems like people are listening. Dawn gives us this gem:
"Its no wonder," whispered Dawn. "This is probably the most fascinating conversation they've heard in weeks."
No, Dawn, it isn't. I work in a call center at a hotel. The calls are boring, but damn they're more fascinating than this conversation about the forces of evil in the form of a seed necklace. The girls start to giggle and Logan escapes. He's such a great boyfriend, isn't he?
They decide that the necklace is bad luck after all. Mary Anne says that maybe the bad luck is just following her. So everyone scoots away. THE BEST FRIENDS YOU'LL EVER HAVE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Mary Anne is like 'Thanks a lot!' but her friends stay far away from her like she's got the black plague. Oh middle schoolers. You're just so mature.
They decide to go the library after school to research curses. Claudia doesn't want to go but Kristy demands that she goes. She also says that Jessi and Mal (who aren't even here for this conversation because they're lowly sixth graders) will be going. No one has a choice. The president has spoken! The only one who gets out of it is Logan because he's an associate. They don't even mention inviting Shannon, because she's only an associate. I bet Claud wishes she were an associate member right now.
They go to the library and use the card catalogue to find books on Witchcraft. They're on the lowest shelf (which Mary Anne considers good luck) and they sit on the floor and look through them. I'm shocked that Stoneybrook has books on witchcraft. It seems like such a white bread town. Like the one I was raised in. That town didn't have books on witchcraft in the library, much to my chagrin. Mal says that they have to find the right spell and Mary Anne suggests asking Karen. Kristy, thankfully, puts a big old kibosh on that plan. Each girl checks out one book at five and they go to their meeting.
Chapter Seven.
Jessi is baby-sitting Jamie. He's afraid of Halloween. He's so cute. Jamie says he's afraid of ghosts and Jessi tells him not all ghosts are mean. She takes him to her house and reads him Georgie books. Because Georgie is a cute friendly ghost. But before they leave, bad luck strikes. The button falls off of Jamie's jacket. Oh, the horrors! Jessi sews it back on and they leave to Casa Ramsey.
They read. Jamie decides to go as Georgie for Halloween. Really, not much in this chapter.
Chapter Eight.
Pike sitting chapter. Its Claudia and Mal. I'm using a Kindle so I don't have to suffer through the handwritings. Thank Goodness!!! However, I still have to deal with Claudia's awful spelling.
Anyway, its a bad day at the Pike house. The Pikes left them some Daddy Stew for dinner and tells the sitters not to turn up the heat. Byron, being the fattie that he is, turns up the heat. The Daddy Stew burns. Before Byron can be properly punished for burning dinner, they hear a scream. They run into the living room and find a bird. Vanessa is being attacked by a bird. Later, she will write a 700 page poem about this event.
While they're trying to figure out how to catch the bird, Claire wonders if the bird knows Santa Claus. After all, it came down the chimney like Santa. The bird saves Claire from her siblings ridicule when the bird attacks Margo. Surprisingly, Margo doesn't puke Am I still reading the BSC? Margo moved and didn't vomit? This can't be right. Mallory figures out how to catch the bird. Open all of the windows and let the bird fly out. Why is it that the junior members are the most logical in this series? Margo ends up being bossy and orders the bird out of the house. It works. She's the future Kristy Thomas. Its proof.
Claudia turns around to start closing windows and sees a bloody Vanessa. She lost a tooth eating a piece of candy.
Finally, the Pikes and Claudia sit down to tuna fish sandwiches for dinner. The rest of the night is uneventful, except for the fact that the Pikes are late and Mal freaks out. They were stuck in traffic.
This bad day was compliments of Mary Anne Spier. The world does revolve around Mary Anne. Its a fact.
Chapter Nine.
Kristy calls an emergency meeting of the BSC. Its Mary Anne's fault.
At the meeting, they begin looking through the spell books. This chapter pisses me off so much, because I'm a Pagan. I could tell you how to rid the charm of negative energy and it doesn't include the scrapings of the underside of a sea slug or whatever. Anyway, the books were left at Claudia's house and Mary Anne asks if the books have done anything weird. Because books dance and shit like that. Wow. My head. It hurts. Kristy scolds Mary Anne for taking this too lightly. After all, its Mary Anne's fault that they're in this mess. You're just so sweet, Kristy. Go to hell.
Claudia passes around tootsie rolls to break the tension. Everyone but Dawn takes one. Dawn's a bitch. I mean, seriously, listen to this:
We each took a Tootsie Roll, except for Dawn, who said it would rot her teeth.
"The rest of you will be wearing dentures when you're ninety," she told us. "But I'll still have all my own teeth."
"If I live to be nienty," said Claudia, "I'll just be glad to be alive, teeth or no teeth. You know --"
I love Claudia. She's kind of awesome, even if she can't spell for siht. <-- did that on purpose.
Anyway, they shut up cuz Kristy is giving them a 'look'.
Jessi finds a spell using a white rose that takes two months. Mary Anne is incredibly interested in a love spell she found. Careful, Logan. Mrs. Kishi almost bursts in on their magic time and Claudia tells them all to calm down. While they're reading, a storm starts to roll in. That's probably Mary Anne's fault too. Dawn finds a possible spell, until she gets into the rest of the ingredients. Which includes hairs from an ox's tale and the scrapings from the underside of a sea snake. Mary Anne thinks she's making this up.
When they can't find anything, Mary Anne thinks they're going about it the wrong way. She thinks they need to curse the person who cursed them. Because Karma, the Law of Three, that stuff doesn't exist in Stoneybrook. God, I hate this book. Kristy gets mad at Mary Anne for throwing away the box and envelope the bad luck charm came in. They recall book 2 and the Phantom Phone Caller. Then they start talking about the Halloween Hop. We get to find out on the dates:
Claudia is going with Austin Bentley.
Jessi isn't going because she's black and that's not allowed.
Mallory isn't going because her parents need slave labor that night.
Okay they're not going cuz their parents won't let them cuz they are too young.
Kristy isn't going because she's sick of going places with the jerk, Alan Gray.
Dawn is going solo.
Mary Anne is of course going with Logan, her one true love.
Oh we also find out that Grace Blume is seriously crushing on Logan. What's that I hear? A clue? Nope, its just Mary Anne whining that even Grace liking Logan is bad luck. The hell Mary Anne. Go to therapy.
Chapter Ten.
Time for the Halloween Hop. Mary Anne and Logan are going as cats from the musical Cats. Yes, matching costumes. This is so lame. And Logan agreed to this. Just because Mary Anne is dressed like a pussy doesn't mean you're going to be able to touch hers, Logan. I'm sorry. Dressing like a tom cat isn't going to get you lucky. She's not quite in heat yet.
Mary Anne shows her costume to Tigger and he gets freaked out. I love Tigger. I don't care. He's adorable. I know, I sound like Mary Anne. Mary Anne shows her dad the costume and he asks why she's wearing the necklace. After all, it takes away from the costume. She says she likes it, but refuses to touch the necklace so she must not like it THAT much. Richard says she looks like an amazing cat and tells her to be home at ten.
Dawn didn't put on any make-up for the dance, so you can see her green face and warty nose. Wait, that is her costume? She's dressing like her personality then? I don't know. Claudia really didn't dress up and we don't get too much of a description. Just that she's wearing a wild floral outfit, gigantic hair clip, and bangle bracelets.
Cokie and Grace are of course staring, creeping out Mary Anne. She mentions it to Claudia and we get this:
"Oh they just think they're better than everyone else."
"Really?" I replied. "That's funny. I always thought that they thought that we thought we were better than everyone else."
Claudia grinned. "Well, we are."
I grinned too.
These girls really aren't self-centered at all are they? Logan and Mary Anne eat instead of dancing. Finally they dance to a slow song. Cokie interrupts a few dances later to dance with Logan. Before they make the switch, Cokie compliments Mary Anne on her cute costume and nice bad-luck charm. Mary Anne kind of freaks out, but she doesn't cry. I'm really thinking that I'm not reading the BSC now. Because I don't think that Mary Anne has cried in this book. I'm scared.
After the dance, Mary Anne finds a threatening letter attached to her house door. Its telling her and the other BSC members to meet at Old Hickory's grave at midnight the next night. Halloween. On a full moon. Yipes. I think she needs a Scooby snack!
Okay, that's the end of that. Chapters 11-15 will be up at some point. Will we ever figure out who sent her the charm? Find out in the next installment.