#48 Jessi's Wish
Tagline: "Do wishes really come true?"
If your wish was to read about a child with cancer, then congrats! Here you go!
Without having re-read all the books up until this point, it's hard to say for sure if this book is the proverbial shark-jumper (what, your version of the Bible doesn't have jumping the shark in its proverbs?), but it's a contender. To wit:
--Virtually no baby-sitting!
--A child with a life-threatening condition!
--Preteen and teenage baby-sitters taking the place of adults!
Wait, that last one happens in every book.
This book just...is exasperating in some ways. And in other ways, it's hard to snark. Two others have come before me and failed. I salute you, Chester Copperpots I and II, and hand you coins with the head of Martin Sheen on them for your troubles. Also, I took piano lessons recently. Andi is good to go. :)
This appears to be an Ann book, and the inscription reads, "This book is for the real Danielle, whose courage, strength, and optimism make lots of wishes come true. Thank you, Danielle." Danielle, my dear, I hope you made it through your ordeal. Now, to make it through mine...
Chapter 1
Jessi and Squirt are going "Whing, whing" in the yard. That's swinging for those of you who don't speak Ackaminnie. They're waiting for Becca to come home from her Kids-Can-Do-Anything Club meeting. Jessi blathers on and on about how wonderful Becca is that she joined an activity that helps others instead of, say, learning a skill like a sport or a musical instrument. Says the gal who spends all her time dancing. Mm-hmm. Squirt wants out of his "whing," so Jessi tries to get him to toddle to her, saying she's glad "he wears about nineteen diapers" in case he falls. Uh, you know you're supposed to remove them as they get dirty, not slap a fresh one atop the old ones, right? And this is right after not-bragging about how wonderful she is at baby-sitting. Mm-hmm.
Becca returns home and seems downtrodden. She tells Jessi that Ms. Simon, one of the Kids Club advisers, is joining her husband "on a really long trip"--what spouse of a teacher plans a really long trip during the school year?--and pussy Mr. Katz apparently can't handle it by himself. Maybe the school has a rule about having two advisers for everything, but seriously? You can't handle it by yourself for a month or two? There's like a dozen to two dozen kids in this club, which should be fewer to about the same amount of kids you have in your classroom, and you can't handle them alone? Hell, in my semester stint as a band director, I had to deal with 70 kids single-handedly and all of them had instruments--and this took place after school. Your do-gooder kids can't be that bad. Seriously.
While this has me all up in arms, Becca actually has another reason to be sad. Turns out the toy drive the kids are planning will probably deliver a toy to someone who'd been in the club the year before. Her name is Danielle Roberts, she's nine like Vanessa Pike (also in the club), and she has leukemia. Becca worries that she might get cancer; Jessi tries to comfort her. She brightens at the thought of something from the toy drive cheering up Danielle.
As Becca pushes Squirt in the whing, Jessi begins pondering. How can the club keep going? And WWTBSCD? (I'm surprised Kristy hasn't made bracelets with that on them yet. Screw Jesus.)
(I'm so going to hell, aren't I?)
Chapter 2
Before finding out what the BSC would do, we have to meet them first.
Highlights:
--"Mary Anne is as accepting as Dawn is." But wait, I thought Dawn was a heinous bitch. Hmm.
--Stacey "dresses in really chilly clothes." Apparently cowboy boots are considered "chilly."
--Dawn has double-pierced ears, and Claudia has one ear single-pierced and the other ear double-pierced. I bet she sings "Faith" a lot, too.
Chapter 3 (or, baby-sitters who don't baby-sit? What is this nonsense?)
Jessi has called Mallory, her fellow infant junior officer, to get her opinion on the Kids Club. Why, just bring it up at the next BSC meeting, silly! Oh, you. I mean, come on, their president is Kristy, "the Queen of Good Ideas." Jessi, have some more Kool-Aid; you clearly aren't drinking enough. The only thing worth mentioning out of the standard Chapter 3 blather is that Jessi and Mal are "the unfortunate product of overprotective parents." How dare these parents forbid them to baby-sit at night as well as forbid Mallory, who probably hasn't even hit puberty, to get a nose job. Hello, they're baby-sitters which means they're practically adults! What they hell are they thinking? (I mean, after all, the Ramseys are the ones who recreated Home Alone for their family.)
It's meetin' time, and as soon as Kristy bangs her gavel, Jessi brings up the Kids Club. Mal says that Nicky and Vanessa are upset over the possible demise of the club as well. But Jessi, having guzzled the Kool-Aid, has a brilliant idea: *She* could take over for Ms. Simon! Because she loves to do drawrings! But wait--there's more! Maybe, for the next month, they could all do volunteer work instead of baby-sitting! What the hell, Jessi. That's crazy talk. Except...they go for it. Hook, line, and sinker. A shadow falls upon the room, shaped like the Fonz on a motorcycle.
Everybody suddenly has ideas. Apparently there's a new diabeetus clinic opening in Stoneybrook, so Stacey wants to help there. Claud thinks she can teach art. Kristy thinks maybe she can help special needs children, because that time she baby-sat for Susan went so well. I mean, heck, Jenny McCarthy was calling her after that one. Dawn says what the rest of us surely are thinking: Kristy, you dumbass, we're already practically volunteering our time here, what with the pittance we get paid. Okay, she actually says, "What about the club, though? We can't run the BSC and volunteer, can we?" Um, how about Jessi steps away from baby-sitting for a short time and everyone else covers for her? Just pretend she's Swanilda again or something. Oh, no. That's not how it works in the 'Brook. This calls for a special Saturday meeting! Oh, geez. The chapter ends with Jessi saying, "Wow! I had sent us on a mission!" Yeah, but this isn't a mission from God. You can't even drive.
Chapter 4
In their song "How to Save a Life," I don't believe the Fray ever mentioned stepping in for your sister's club adviser, and yet Becca believes that Jessi's her lord and savior. Chill, Becca. It's not like she's curing cancer here. So Jessi goes and talks to Mr. Katz. He's actually heard of her, as she's not just Becca's sister, but she's also the baby-sitter to several other club members. These kids really must not have lives if they talk about a sitter enough that their adviser recognizes her name. I find that a tad disturbing, to be honest. After telling Jessi that the club is strictly volunteer work, he agrees to giving her a two-week trial--that's four total sessions.
Time for the emergency meeting! Everyone's so excited that they all arrive a half-hour early. Kristy could have done *so* many different things because she's just so wonderful--um, doesn't she already have her softball team? I'd think that would count--but she opts for working at a day-care center David Michael used to attend. Dawn will be at the Baker Institute in Stamford working with...special-needs kids. Way to take Kristy's cast-off ideas. Stacey will work with the Brimley Center, even though it hasn't opened yet; she'll be sort of like a diabetic solicitor, cold-calling some newly-diagnosed kids. Claud will help out with an art class at the community center and--ha, ha!--Margo's signed up for that! "Great!" exclaimed Claud. And then Kristy says Karen's signed up, too. "I'll be prepared," said Claud. I love the difference in her reactions. Mary Anne will be working with the son of family friends; little Frankie has brain damage. And Mallory will help out at what sounds like a drop-in program at the park.
Kristy brings up the Fonz on the motorcycle elephant in the room--what will they do about the club for the next month? "What if we put ourselves out of business?" Claudia of all people is the voice of reason--"I know we're going to be busy, but the club doesn't have to stop. We have associate members, you know. Plus, we won't all be working seven days a week." Claudia, I'm so impressed. Kristy, I am disappoint. For being the Queen of Every Idea Ever, how did you not realize that? Anyway, they decide that whoever's available can come to Claud's room during regular meeting times and answer the phone.
Chapter 5
It's Jessi's first day with the Kids Club. Did you know that sixteen kids can make a lot of noise? Shock. Wait...sixteen. Sixteen. Seriously, Katz couldn't handle this by himself two days a week? That was the size of my clarinet section. Grr. The kids are screwing around and basically blowing off steam when Jessi walks in, and after a few more minutes Katz claps his hands and the kids take a seat on the floor. He introduces Jessi and says she'll be helping out while Ms. Simon is gone, though she hopes to return in about a month. (I wonder what sort of "trip" this is.) Katz makes a funny when he tells them Jessi can do everything Ms. Simon can do "except drive our van." Or old cop cars. He has the kids introduce themselves to her; Becca simply says, "I'm your sister. I think you know me." I wanted her to say something like, "My name is Rebecca Ramsey and I live down the hall from you." One of the Pikes probably would have done that.
Down to business. The kids have gotten mail--thank-yous from kids in the hospital who received toys via the toy drive. It sounds like the toys are communal, which is a little worrisome in a hospital, but this is Stoneybrook, where they keep unicorn urine on hand to sprinkle on everything to make the germs go away. Katz gets to a long-ish letter where the writer describes wanting to come back to school, enjoying an art supply kit, and how they're now bald from chemo. The letter ends, "I can't wait to see you." It must be from...Danielle. The kids are quiet for a minute, and then Becca says, "Those kids sound like they need pen pals." Katz wonders if that will be the next group project; others mention picking up litter or making gifts for Meals on Wheels recipients, since they'd talked about them before. They decide to at least answer the letters they've received, eleven in all. Since Katz has a Polaroid, they decide to include pictures as well.
Chapter 6
Wait, there's no baby-sitting in this book; why do I see handwriting? Because apparently Kristy wants to document this dark period in the BSC's history. I suppose it counts since they're working with children, but still. The day-care center sounds a lot like the one I attended, with rooms for different age groups and the older, school-aged children separated. Kristy figures she'll get assigned somewhere, but the director has her wander around to see where she'd really like to help. In the study hall, she helps a few older kids with their homework. In a nod to timeliness, one boy is writing about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Holy crap. I'll bet Ann assigned herself the task of watching five I Love Lucy episodes and a Hail Mary after that. Then Kristy gets asked to join the three-year-olds, who haven't napped and are finger-painting. This is a bad combination. Inexplicably, Kristy starts singing "Rock Around the Clock" to them. She helps out with a few other groups then gets called to the infant room. One woman is dealing with a crier; the other woman is attempting to feed the other seven babies. One little girl named Joy is done, and the feeding woman asks Kristy to change her diaper. Joy cries but eventually falls asleep; this apparently is miraculous. That's it. Kristy will work with the babies.
Chapter 7
We're back with Jessi and Katz and the Kids Club. It's her third session. She's watching the kids enter the room when a frail little girl with a scarf on her head peeks in. Her shirt reads "Bald is Beautiful." Is she an unknown Telly Savalas love child? No, silly! She must be Danielle! According to Jessi, she's odd-looking, almost like a little old man in a little girl's body. She's bruised and tired-looking and thin. None of the other kids want to approach her. Danielle takes the initiative and assures them they won't catch cancer from her, and maybe do they have questions? That breaks the ice a little and the kids ask if she still has cancer and wonder what's under her scarf; Danielle's reply of "Not much!" gets a laugh. Jessi at first thinks the kids are afraid *of* her; she soon realizes they're afraid *for* her, since the older kids remember what she used to look like when she was healthy. That can't be snarked--that has to be hard for kids to see one of their peers so obviously ill. Danielle discusses a bit of what she's been through. After a few more minutes, though, Mr. Katz gets the club thinking about their letters to the kids in the hospital, and the group gets to work. Jessi explains what they're doing to Danielle and asks if she'd like to join someone, but Danielle mentions that two kids went into the hospital as she was being discharged, and she wants to write to one of them because he also has leukemia. She then confides her two wishes to Jessi: To finish fifth grade and to go to Disney World. Jessi silently wishes Danielle will get better.
Chapter 8
The BSC may not be able to find the time to gather together during the week, but apparently none of them have anything going on on Saturday afternoons. Maybe the moms of Stoneybrook discovered Peapod. We find the girls in Dawn's barn, hangin' in the hayloft. Jessi asks Dawn and MA why they don't live in the barn. Give them about ninety books, dear. Once everyone gathers, they start talking about their volunteer work. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's frustrating. That's how it works, guys. Jessi brings up Danielle and how one of her wishes is to graduate from elementary school; naturally, Mary Anne cries. However, once she stops she mentions the Make-a-Wish Foundation Your Wish is My Command, a Stamford-based organization granting the wishes of sick children. Wow, maybe they can help Danielle! She calls the group when she gets home and is told to have Mr. and Mrs. Roberts call them. Jessi calls Danielle's parents to give them the news.
Chapter 9
Time to hang with Claudia and the art kids. Normally I'd get annoyed by a handwritten Claudia entry, but the girl just spent an afternoon with Karen. I simply feel pity. There's a dozen seven-year-olds total, including Margo "Is Vomit a Medium?" Pike and Jackie "I Majored in Mosaics" Rodowsky. They're working on pottery and ceramics, as in actually creating their own pieces and then having them fired in the kiln. Let me tell you, I am totes jealous, as the ceramics classes I took around the age of 11 had us cleaning pre-made pieces and then painting them. That's it. And despite minoring in art, I never got into ceramics in college. Grr. Claudia spends her time running between all the kids--Margo makes a blob, Jackie makes a mess, Karen makes me want to shove clay in her mouth. She creates a wacky jungle and tries to convince people it's alive. Claudia finally puts an end to the nonsense by saying they can't fire an actual jungle with living elephants and snakes, and Karen, who wants to keep her creation forever and ever, relents. False alarm, people! It's not actually alive!
Chapter 10
At the Ramseys', Becca is complaining to Jessi how the other kids treat Danielle. They think she's weird, they talk about her behind her back. Don't they know she's normal? A few days later, Danielle and Charlotte are invited over to play. They play Barbies in Becca's room while Jessi watches Squirt, then play a rousing game of "Squirt Tag," which basically consists of chasing Squirt around. After a while Jessi calls them over for lemonade and Danielle, looking paler than normal, collapses on a couch. The girls are alarmed, but Danielle tries to assure them she just overtaxed herself. She does look better after a bit, and Becca and Char bring the Barbies downstairs for a quiet afternoon of playing. When the Robertses come to pick her up, they confirm that Danielle tires easily and it just happens. She can't play like she used to. Also, someone from YWIMC called--Danielle's on their waiting list! Once enough donations come in, she can go to Disney World!
Chapter 11
Danielle and her family invite Charlotte, Becca, and Jessi over for a cookout. I could see Char and Becca, but Jessi too? She's, like, an old person. Okay, I guess I had a few older friends, but those people also didn't have siblings my own age that I also hung around with. Why not invite Mr. Katz along, too? Also, every time we see Danielle, she's wearing her "Bald is Beautiful" shirt. Jessi mentions that Becca loves it, but really. It's like this child has no other clothes. Jessi gets to meet Danielle's little brother, Greg, as well as their cat, Mr. Toes. I know I haven't included the cover (one of the other snarks still had it up as of this writing), but the scene comes from this chapter, to some degree--it involves Jessi, Becca, and Danielle playing with the cat. Let me tell you, Hodges did not paint Danielle as painfully thin. She actually looks bigger than Becca.
The cookout commences, and everyone eats; afterward, the kids play in the yard. As they're in the middle of a treasure hunt, Mrs. Roberts makes Danielle stop to take her pills. Sucks for her, but it interrupts Jessi waxing poetic on what the Robertses must be feeling as they watch all the kids running around. As the night ends, Jessi thinks they must really need a vacation and she hope the WDW wish comes true soon.
The following afternoon is another casual BSC meeting--in Jessi's room! OMG! First time ever! Cherry cordials, anyone? She describes cleaning her room and how the dust bunnies under her bed "must have been as old as I was." Um, for that to be possible, they'd have to have existed through at least two other owners, including Stacey's family, and Mrs. McGill isn't Sharon; I'm sure she cleaned that house top to bottom when they left. The girls convene and start talking about their volunteer work and who their not-to-play-favorites-but-we-really-really-like-these-kids are. Dawn is the last one mentioned...
Chapter 12
...And, conveniently, we segue into a Dawn chapter! You so smooth, AMM! Dawn is impressed just by the bus driver, who gives her and four students rides to Baker after school. The driver treats them like normal human beings! Who knew that was possible! She jokes with them and everything! What, has Matt Braddock never cracked a joke? These girls totally don't get out much. Maybe this book was necessary for them to experience the lives of others.
Dawn's favorite Baker student is Kendra, who has cerebral palsy and uses a motorized wheelchair. She wants to be a writer and she's just nine. That's right, she's already putting Mallory to shame. Of course, she probably doesn't have chestnut red hair or braces, so she's already ahead of Mal. That day, she presented Dawn with a story on her hatred of tomatoes. They eventually go to a writing class, where one child has to use a voice synthesizer and another, who currently is the group's best typist, has muscular dystrophy and eventually may lose the use of his arms and hands. Jessi wonders what might have happened had these kids gotten cancer instead of what they have--how would their lives be different? Would they be better in some ways than others? They'd be able to use their legs, but they'd be tired... Eventually she realizes that everyone just deals with what they've been given. That's all you really can do.
Chapter 13
Jessi has made it through the trial period and is the permanent sub until Ms. Simon returns in a few weeks. For some reason I picture her and her husband in Amsterdam or something. Maybe Thailand. Today's project: Making popcorn to take to the old people's home as part of a larger goody basket. Katz warns that the kids will probably be crazier than usual--not only did they have an assembly, it was also eye test day. Jessi hears shrieking out in the hallway; Danielle comes in and says it was someone else reacting to her news...that YWIMC is granting her wish and they're going to WDW! Wow! Danielle knows it was Jessi who initiated the request, so she thanks her profusely. The kids crowd around Danielle to congratulate her, and Jessi notices they're touching her, like she's a normal kid again. They even notice that her hair's growing back, and it's reddish. They convince her to take her scarf all the way off--it had slipped--and some of the girls start styling her hair. The others tell her where to go and what to do on her three-day trip. Some seem a tad jealous that she gets to go during school. Eventually Mr. Katz gets them to stop fawning all over Danielle and get to work popping corn. They also try to figure out what else old people might like in their goody bags, and someone brings up the Polaroid again. Most of the kids abandon their poppers during the discussion and remember them only when one popper explodes, sending popcorn all over.
Chapter 14 (or, you've won the Super Bowl! What are you going to do next?)
It's the following week, and Charlotte, Becca, and Jessi have been invited to help Danielle pack for her trip. They get to Danielle's room and it's a mess--clothes are everywhere, including a shirt on top of a lamp, where it starts smoldering. Nice. Danielle figures she should chill, and the girls convince her that she doesn't need to bring all her toys. Her mother also puts the kibosh on a second suitcase, reminding her it's only a three-day trip. They get her packed and start thinking about what she might do, starting with what sort of meal she might get on the plane. This was back when a meal was more than a package of pretzels and a cup of soda. Danielle wishes Jessi could go with. Again, I find that weird, seeing how two of her peers are in the room with them. Sure, Jessi helped grant the wish, but...odd. Danielle promises to write postcards; the rest of the chapter consists of said cards and letters. The breakfast meal on the flight down? Pancakes and sausage. Greg stole Margo's trait and uses his barf bag. YWIMC fixes it so the Robertses get to jump the line; Danielle rides Space Mountain twice. Upon her return to the Kids Club, everyone gets gifts. The general members get stickers, but the special people--Charlotte, Becca, Mr. Katz, Jessi--get actual souvenirs: a WDW book, a Donald Duck shirt, Mickey Mouse ears, and, for Jessi, a wishing star necklace. Aw.
Chapter 15
It's Jessi's last time with the Kids Club, and she'll be indulging in her inner Martha Stewart and teaching them how to make wreaths using tissue paper and metal hangers. I confess some curiosity on how that might work. A Karen book would have included directions on how to make your own. (Did...did I just invoke the name of Karen on purpose? I feel dirty.) The kids trickle into the room, with one notable exception: Danielle. Katz and Jessi discover she also hadn't been in school that day, and one girl says she's back in the hospital. Oh, dear. Becca and Char start crying, so Jessi takes them to the bathroom for a few minutes. Becca cries, "It isn't fair. It isn't fair at all. Danielle is too nice." Jessi explains that life isn't fair, and maybe she's in the hospital for a reason unrelated to her cancer. Maybe she met up with Betsy Sobak and took a ride on her Swingset of Terror. The younger girls still fear for Danielle; they want her to be healthy. Jessi says they can help her by continuing to be her friends and to send her things so she won't be bored in the hospital. As they were leaving the club room, Katz had mentioned writing letters to Danielle instead of making wreaths; if they went back right then, Char and Becca could go and write letters, too. So they do.
Later that evening, Jessi talks with Mama Ramsey about the situation; she really wants to call Danielle. Mama suggests a letter might be better at this time. Jessi then thinks to call the Roberts' home, but she gets Greg, who isn't very chatty. He confirms that Danielle is back in the hospital for some tests, though. After hanging up, Jessi writes her letter, telling Danielle how much everyone misses her. The book ends with a return letter from Danielle, saying replying to the Kids Club members and keeping up with her homework are occupying her time, preventing her from being bored. She's also hopeful, because even though she'll probably be in the hospital for a while, at least one of her wishes got fulfilled. If one could happen, maybe the other could too.
Just after the final chapter is a note about how us BSC readers are making wishes come true--for each copy of this book sold, four cents will get donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Ten-year-old Joyce, who also has leukemia, got to go to WDW with her family because of Scholastic and AMM's donations. Four cents seems kind of chintzy to me, to be honest, but it's better than nothing--either that, or how many of these books were they expecting to be selling? I didn't pay attention to how well these books sold in their heyday, but dang. Maybe it was worthwhile. I still think they should have rounded up to a nickel or a dime, though. AMM, you didn't need to be all Scrooge McDuck-y and roll around in all your dough. Also, I'm not sure why they couldn't just use the Make-a-Wish Foundation by name within the book itself--why make up an organization? Even if it does exist, it's nowhere near as well known as Make-a-Wish. I just have to tell myself that their hearts are in the right places.
Bonus! This book came with a free Jessi bookmark!
Full name: Jessica Davis Ramsey
Age: 11 years old
Birthdate: June 30 (unless, of course, you read book #16)
Birthplace: Oakley, New Jersey
Club Position: Junior officer
Siblings: Becca and Squirt
Best friend: Mallory (and Keisha--did her birthday change, too?)
All-time favorite pastime: Ballet
Likes: Languages, telling jokes, and horse stories
Dislikes: Letter-writing and catty dancers (bet she hates Cats)
Greatest moment: Being chosen to play Princess Aurora in The Sleeping Beauty
Goal in life: "Maybe I will go to a dance school in New York City. Maybe I will even become a professional dancer." (Cookies to anyone who can find that exact quote anywhere.)
And with that, I bid you adieu for now, as I have finished off all the not-yet-snarked and incompletely-snarked books I have. I might go through some of the other books I have, or maybe tackle a super special, but no promises. I might take requests, though.
If your wish was to read about a child with cancer, then congrats! Here you go!
Without having re-read all the books up until this point, it's hard to say for sure if this book is the proverbial shark-jumper (what, your version of the Bible doesn't have jumping the shark in its proverbs?), but it's a contender. To wit:
--Virtually no baby-sitting!
--A child with a life-threatening condition!
--Preteen and teenage baby-sitters taking the place of adults!
Wait, that last one happens in every book.
This book just...is exasperating in some ways. And in other ways, it's hard to snark. Two others have come before me and failed. I salute you, Chester Copperpots I and II, and hand you coins with the head of Martin Sheen on them for your troubles. Also, I took piano lessons recently. Andi is good to go. :)
This appears to be an Ann book, and the inscription reads, "This book is for the real Danielle, whose courage, strength, and optimism make lots of wishes come true. Thank you, Danielle." Danielle, my dear, I hope you made it through your ordeal. Now, to make it through mine...
Chapter 1
Jessi and Squirt are going "Whing, whing" in the yard. That's swinging for those of you who don't speak Ackaminnie. They're waiting for Becca to come home from her Kids-Can-Do-Anything Club meeting. Jessi blathers on and on about how wonderful Becca is that she joined an activity that helps others instead of, say, learning a skill like a sport or a musical instrument. Says the gal who spends all her time dancing. Mm-hmm. Squirt wants out of his "whing," so Jessi tries to get him to toddle to her, saying she's glad "he wears about nineteen diapers" in case he falls. Uh, you know you're supposed to remove them as they get dirty, not slap a fresh one atop the old ones, right? And this is right after not-bragging about how wonderful she is at baby-sitting. Mm-hmm.
Becca returns home and seems downtrodden. She tells Jessi that Ms. Simon, one of the Kids Club advisers, is joining her husband "on a really long trip"--what spouse of a teacher plans a really long trip during the school year?--and pussy Mr. Katz apparently can't handle it by himself. Maybe the school has a rule about having two advisers for everything, but seriously? You can't handle it by yourself for a month or two? There's like a dozen to two dozen kids in this club, which should be fewer to about the same amount of kids you have in your classroom, and you can't handle them alone? Hell, in my semester stint as a band director, I had to deal with 70 kids single-handedly and all of them had instruments--and this took place after school. Your do-gooder kids can't be that bad. Seriously.
While this has me all up in arms, Becca actually has another reason to be sad. Turns out the toy drive the kids are planning will probably deliver a toy to someone who'd been in the club the year before. Her name is Danielle Roberts, she's nine like Vanessa Pike (also in the club), and she has leukemia. Becca worries that she might get cancer; Jessi tries to comfort her. She brightens at the thought of something from the toy drive cheering up Danielle.
As Becca pushes Squirt in the whing, Jessi begins pondering. How can the club keep going? And WWTBSCD? (I'm surprised Kristy hasn't made bracelets with that on them yet. Screw Jesus.)
(I'm so going to hell, aren't I?)
Chapter 2
Before finding out what the BSC would do, we have to meet them first.
Highlights:
--"Mary Anne is as accepting as Dawn is." But wait, I thought Dawn was a heinous bitch. Hmm.
--Stacey "dresses in really chilly clothes." Apparently cowboy boots are considered "chilly."
--Dawn has double-pierced ears, and Claudia has one ear single-pierced and the other ear double-pierced. I bet she sings "Faith" a lot, too.
Chapter 3 (or, baby-sitters who don't baby-sit? What is this nonsense?)
Jessi has called Mallory, her fellow infant junior officer, to get her opinion on the Kids Club. Why, just bring it up at the next BSC meeting, silly! Oh, you. I mean, come on, their president is Kristy, "the Queen of Good Ideas." Jessi, have some more Kool-Aid; you clearly aren't drinking enough. The only thing worth mentioning out of the standard Chapter 3 blather is that Jessi and Mal are "the unfortunate product of overprotective parents." How dare these parents forbid them to baby-sit at night as well as forbid Mallory, who probably hasn't even hit puberty, to get a nose job. Hello, they're baby-sitters which means they're practically adults! What they hell are they thinking? (I mean, after all, the Ramseys are the ones who recreated Home Alone for their family.)
It's meetin' time, and as soon as Kristy bangs her gavel, Jessi brings up the Kids Club. Mal says that Nicky and Vanessa are upset over the possible demise of the club as well. But Jessi, having guzzled the Kool-Aid, has a brilliant idea: *She* could take over for Ms. Simon! Because she loves to do drawrings! But wait--there's more! Maybe, for the next month, they could all do volunteer work instead of baby-sitting! What the hell, Jessi. That's crazy talk. Except...they go for it. Hook, line, and sinker. A shadow falls upon the room, shaped like the Fonz on a motorcycle.
Everybody suddenly has ideas. Apparently there's a new diabeetus clinic opening in Stoneybrook, so Stacey wants to help there. Claud thinks she can teach art. Kristy thinks maybe she can help special needs children, because that time she baby-sat for Susan went so well. I mean, heck, Jenny McCarthy was calling her after that one. Dawn says what the rest of us surely are thinking: Kristy, you dumbass, we're already practically volunteering our time here, what with the pittance we get paid. Okay, she actually says, "What about the club, though? We can't run the BSC and volunteer, can we?" Um, how about Jessi steps away from baby-sitting for a short time and everyone else covers for her? Just pretend she's Swanilda again or something. Oh, no. That's not how it works in the 'Brook. This calls for a special Saturday meeting! Oh, geez. The chapter ends with Jessi saying, "Wow! I had sent us on a mission!" Yeah, but this isn't a mission from God. You can't even drive.
Chapter 4
In their song "How to Save a Life," I don't believe the Fray ever mentioned stepping in for your sister's club adviser, and yet Becca believes that Jessi's her lord and savior. Chill, Becca. It's not like she's curing cancer here. So Jessi goes and talks to Mr. Katz. He's actually heard of her, as she's not just Becca's sister, but she's also the baby-sitter to several other club members. These kids really must not have lives if they talk about a sitter enough that their adviser recognizes her name. I find that a tad disturbing, to be honest. After telling Jessi that the club is strictly volunteer work, he agrees to giving her a two-week trial--that's four total sessions.
Time for the emergency meeting! Everyone's so excited that they all arrive a half-hour early. Kristy could have done *so* many different things because she's just so wonderful--um, doesn't she already have her softball team? I'd think that would count--but she opts for working at a day-care center David Michael used to attend. Dawn will be at the Baker Institute in Stamford working with...special-needs kids. Way to take Kristy's cast-off ideas. Stacey will work with the Brimley Center, even though it hasn't opened yet; she'll be sort of like a diabetic solicitor, cold-calling some newly-diagnosed kids. Claud will help out with an art class at the community center and--ha, ha!--Margo's signed up for that! "Great!" exclaimed Claud. And then Kristy says Karen's signed up, too. "I'll be prepared," said Claud. I love the difference in her reactions. Mary Anne will be working with the son of family friends; little Frankie has brain damage. And Mallory will help out at what sounds like a drop-in program at the park.
Kristy brings up the Fonz on the motorcycle elephant in the room--what will they do about the club for the next month? "What if we put ourselves out of business?" Claudia of all people is the voice of reason--"I know we're going to be busy, but the club doesn't have to stop. We have associate members, you know. Plus, we won't all be working seven days a week." Claudia, I'm so impressed. Kristy, I am disappoint. For being the Queen of Every Idea Ever, how did you not realize that? Anyway, they decide that whoever's available can come to Claud's room during regular meeting times and answer the phone.
Chapter 5
It's Jessi's first day with the Kids Club. Did you know that sixteen kids can make a lot of noise? Shock. Wait...sixteen. Sixteen. Seriously, Katz couldn't handle this by himself two days a week? That was the size of my clarinet section. Grr. The kids are screwing around and basically blowing off steam when Jessi walks in, and after a few more minutes Katz claps his hands and the kids take a seat on the floor. He introduces Jessi and says she'll be helping out while Ms. Simon is gone, though she hopes to return in about a month. (I wonder what sort of "trip" this is.) Katz makes a funny when he tells them Jessi can do everything Ms. Simon can do "except drive our van." Or old cop cars. He has the kids introduce themselves to her; Becca simply says, "I'm your sister. I think you know me." I wanted her to say something like, "My name is Rebecca Ramsey and I live down the hall from you." One of the Pikes probably would have done that.
Down to business. The kids have gotten mail--thank-yous from kids in the hospital who received toys via the toy drive. It sounds like the toys are communal, which is a little worrisome in a hospital, but this is Stoneybrook, where they keep unicorn urine on hand to sprinkle on everything to make the germs go away. Katz gets to a long-ish letter where the writer describes wanting to come back to school, enjoying an art supply kit, and how they're now bald from chemo. The letter ends, "I can't wait to see you." It must be from...Danielle. The kids are quiet for a minute, and then Becca says, "Those kids sound like they need pen pals." Katz wonders if that will be the next group project; others mention picking up litter or making gifts for Meals on Wheels recipients, since they'd talked about them before. They decide to at least answer the letters they've received, eleven in all. Since Katz has a Polaroid, they decide to include pictures as well.
Chapter 6
Wait, there's no baby-sitting in this book; why do I see handwriting? Because apparently Kristy wants to document this dark period in the BSC's history. I suppose it counts since they're working with children, but still. The day-care center sounds a lot like the one I attended, with rooms for different age groups and the older, school-aged children separated. Kristy figures she'll get assigned somewhere, but the director has her wander around to see where she'd really like to help. In the study hall, she helps a few older kids with their homework. In a nod to timeliness, one boy is writing about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Holy crap. I'll bet Ann assigned herself the task of watching five I Love Lucy episodes and a Hail Mary after that. Then Kristy gets asked to join the three-year-olds, who haven't napped and are finger-painting. This is a bad combination. Inexplicably, Kristy starts singing "Rock Around the Clock" to them. She helps out with a few other groups then gets called to the infant room. One woman is dealing with a crier; the other woman is attempting to feed the other seven babies. One little girl named Joy is done, and the feeding woman asks Kristy to change her diaper. Joy cries but eventually falls asleep; this apparently is miraculous. That's it. Kristy will work with the babies.
Chapter 7
We're back with Jessi and Katz and the Kids Club. It's her third session. She's watching the kids enter the room when a frail little girl with a scarf on her head peeks in. Her shirt reads "Bald is Beautiful." Is she an unknown Telly Savalas love child? No, silly! She must be Danielle! According to Jessi, she's odd-looking, almost like a little old man in a little girl's body. She's bruised and tired-looking and thin. None of the other kids want to approach her. Danielle takes the initiative and assures them they won't catch cancer from her, and maybe do they have questions? That breaks the ice a little and the kids ask if she still has cancer and wonder what's under her scarf; Danielle's reply of "Not much!" gets a laugh. Jessi at first thinks the kids are afraid *of* her; she soon realizes they're afraid *for* her, since the older kids remember what she used to look like when she was healthy. That can't be snarked--that has to be hard for kids to see one of their peers so obviously ill. Danielle discusses a bit of what she's been through. After a few more minutes, though, Mr. Katz gets the club thinking about their letters to the kids in the hospital, and the group gets to work. Jessi explains what they're doing to Danielle and asks if she'd like to join someone, but Danielle mentions that two kids went into the hospital as she was being discharged, and she wants to write to one of them because he also has leukemia. She then confides her two wishes to Jessi: To finish fifth grade and to go to Disney World. Jessi silently wishes Danielle will get better.
Chapter 8
The BSC may not be able to find the time to gather together during the week, but apparently none of them have anything going on on Saturday afternoons. Maybe the moms of Stoneybrook discovered Peapod. We find the girls in Dawn's barn, hangin' in the hayloft. Jessi asks Dawn and MA why they don't live in the barn. Give them about ninety books, dear. Once everyone gathers, they start talking about their volunteer work. Sometimes it's great, sometimes it's frustrating. That's how it works, guys. Jessi brings up Danielle and how one of her wishes is to graduate from elementary school; naturally, Mary Anne cries. However, once she stops she mentions the Make-a-Wish Foundation Your Wish is My Command, a Stamford-based organization granting the wishes of sick children. Wow, maybe they can help Danielle! She calls the group when she gets home and is told to have Mr. and Mrs. Roberts call them. Jessi calls Danielle's parents to give them the news.
Chapter 9
Time to hang with Claudia and the art kids. Normally I'd get annoyed by a handwritten Claudia entry, but the girl just spent an afternoon with Karen. I simply feel pity. There's a dozen seven-year-olds total, including Margo "Is Vomit a Medium?" Pike and Jackie "I Majored in Mosaics" Rodowsky. They're working on pottery and ceramics, as in actually creating their own pieces and then having them fired in the kiln. Let me tell you, I am totes jealous, as the ceramics classes I took around the age of 11 had us cleaning pre-made pieces and then painting them. That's it. And despite minoring in art, I never got into ceramics in college. Grr. Claudia spends her time running between all the kids--Margo makes a blob, Jackie makes a mess, Karen makes me want to shove clay in her mouth. She creates a wacky jungle and tries to convince people it's alive. Claudia finally puts an end to the nonsense by saying they can't fire an actual jungle with living elephants and snakes, and Karen, who wants to keep her creation forever and ever, relents. False alarm, people! It's not actually alive!
Chapter 10
At the Ramseys', Becca is complaining to Jessi how the other kids treat Danielle. They think she's weird, they talk about her behind her back. Don't they know she's normal? A few days later, Danielle and Charlotte are invited over to play. They play Barbies in Becca's room while Jessi watches Squirt, then play a rousing game of "Squirt Tag," which basically consists of chasing Squirt around. After a while Jessi calls them over for lemonade and Danielle, looking paler than normal, collapses on a couch. The girls are alarmed, but Danielle tries to assure them she just overtaxed herself. She does look better after a bit, and Becca and Char bring the Barbies downstairs for a quiet afternoon of playing. When the Robertses come to pick her up, they confirm that Danielle tires easily and it just happens. She can't play like she used to. Also, someone from YWIMC called--Danielle's on their waiting list! Once enough donations come in, she can go to Disney World!
Chapter 11
Danielle and her family invite Charlotte, Becca, and Jessi over for a cookout. I could see Char and Becca, but Jessi too? She's, like, an old person. Okay, I guess I had a few older friends, but those people also didn't have siblings my own age that I also hung around with. Why not invite Mr. Katz along, too? Also, every time we see Danielle, she's wearing her "Bald is Beautiful" shirt. Jessi mentions that Becca loves it, but really. It's like this child has no other clothes. Jessi gets to meet Danielle's little brother, Greg, as well as their cat, Mr. Toes. I know I haven't included the cover (one of the other snarks still had it up as of this writing), but the scene comes from this chapter, to some degree--it involves Jessi, Becca, and Danielle playing with the cat. Let me tell you, Hodges did not paint Danielle as painfully thin. She actually looks bigger than Becca.
The cookout commences, and everyone eats; afterward, the kids play in the yard. As they're in the middle of a treasure hunt, Mrs. Roberts makes Danielle stop to take her pills. Sucks for her, but it interrupts Jessi waxing poetic on what the Robertses must be feeling as they watch all the kids running around. As the night ends, Jessi thinks they must really need a vacation and she hope the WDW wish comes true soon.
The following afternoon is another casual BSC meeting--in Jessi's room! OMG! First time ever! Cherry cordials, anyone? She describes cleaning her room and how the dust bunnies under her bed "must have been as old as I was." Um, for that to be possible, they'd have to have existed through at least two other owners, including Stacey's family, and Mrs. McGill isn't Sharon; I'm sure she cleaned that house top to bottom when they left. The girls convene and start talking about their volunteer work and who their not-to-play-favorites-but-we-really-really-like-these-kids are. Dawn is the last one mentioned...
Chapter 12
...And, conveniently, we segue into a Dawn chapter! You so smooth, AMM! Dawn is impressed just by the bus driver, who gives her and four students rides to Baker after school. The driver treats them like normal human beings! Who knew that was possible! She jokes with them and everything! What, has Matt Braddock never cracked a joke? These girls totally don't get out much. Maybe this book was necessary for them to experience the lives of others.
Dawn's favorite Baker student is Kendra, who has cerebral palsy and uses a motorized wheelchair. She wants to be a writer and she's just nine. That's right, she's already putting Mallory to shame. Of course, she probably doesn't have chestnut red hair or braces, so she's already ahead of Mal. That day, she presented Dawn with a story on her hatred of tomatoes. They eventually go to a writing class, where one child has to use a voice synthesizer and another, who currently is the group's best typist, has muscular dystrophy and eventually may lose the use of his arms and hands. Jessi wonders what might have happened had these kids gotten cancer instead of what they have--how would their lives be different? Would they be better in some ways than others? They'd be able to use their legs, but they'd be tired... Eventually she realizes that everyone just deals with what they've been given. That's all you really can do.
Chapter 13
Jessi has made it through the trial period and is the permanent sub until Ms. Simon returns in a few weeks. For some reason I picture her and her husband in Amsterdam or something. Maybe Thailand. Today's project: Making popcorn to take to the old people's home as part of a larger goody basket. Katz warns that the kids will probably be crazier than usual--not only did they have an assembly, it was also eye test day. Jessi hears shrieking out in the hallway; Danielle comes in and says it was someone else reacting to her news...that YWIMC is granting her wish and they're going to WDW! Wow! Danielle knows it was Jessi who initiated the request, so she thanks her profusely. The kids crowd around Danielle to congratulate her, and Jessi notices they're touching her, like she's a normal kid again. They even notice that her hair's growing back, and it's reddish. They convince her to take her scarf all the way off--it had slipped--and some of the girls start styling her hair. The others tell her where to go and what to do on her three-day trip. Some seem a tad jealous that she gets to go during school. Eventually Mr. Katz gets them to stop fawning all over Danielle and get to work popping corn. They also try to figure out what else old people might like in their goody bags, and someone brings up the Polaroid again. Most of the kids abandon their poppers during the discussion and remember them only when one popper explodes, sending popcorn all over.
Chapter 14 (or, you've won the Super Bowl! What are you going to do next?)
It's the following week, and Charlotte, Becca, and Jessi have been invited to help Danielle pack for her trip. They get to Danielle's room and it's a mess--clothes are everywhere, including a shirt on top of a lamp, where it starts smoldering. Nice. Danielle figures she should chill, and the girls convince her that she doesn't need to bring all her toys. Her mother also puts the kibosh on a second suitcase, reminding her it's only a three-day trip. They get her packed and start thinking about what she might do, starting with what sort of meal she might get on the plane. This was back when a meal was more than a package of pretzels and a cup of soda. Danielle wishes Jessi could go with. Again, I find that weird, seeing how two of her peers are in the room with them. Sure, Jessi helped grant the wish, but...odd. Danielle promises to write postcards; the rest of the chapter consists of said cards and letters. The breakfast meal on the flight down? Pancakes and sausage. Greg stole Margo's trait and uses his barf bag. YWIMC fixes it so the Robertses get to jump the line; Danielle rides Space Mountain twice. Upon her return to the Kids Club, everyone gets gifts. The general members get stickers, but the special people--Charlotte, Becca, Mr. Katz, Jessi--get actual souvenirs: a WDW book, a Donald Duck shirt, Mickey Mouse ears, and, for Jessi, a wishing star necklace. Aw.
Chapter 15
It's Jessi's last time with the Kids Club, and she'll be indulging in her inner Martha Stewart and teaching them how to make wreaths using tissue paper and metal hangers. I confess some curiosity on how that might work. A Karen book would have included directions on how to make your own. (Did...did I just invoke the name of Karen on purpose? I feel dirty.) The kids trickle into the room, with one notable exception: Danielle. Katz and Jessi discover she also hadn't been in school that day, and one girl says she's back in the hospital. Oh, dear. Becca and Char start crying, so Jessi takes them to the bathroom for a few minutes. Becca cries, "It isn't fair. It isn't fair at all. Danielle is too nice." Jessi explains that life isn't fair, and maybe she's in the hospital for a reason unrelated to her cancer. Maybe she met up with Betsy Sobak and took a ride on her Swingset of Terror. The younger girls still fear for Danielle; they want her to be healthy. Jessi says they can help her by continuing to be her friends and to send her things so she won't be bored in the hospital. As they were leaving the club room, Katz had mentioned writing letters to Danielle instead of making wreaths; if they went back right then, Char and Becca could go and write letters, too. So they do.
Later that evening, Jessi talks with Mama Ramsey about the situation; she really wants to call Danielle. Mama suggests a letter might be better at this time. Jessi then thinks to call the Roberts' home, but she gets Greg, who isn't very chatty. He confirms that Danielle is back in the hospital for some tests, though. After hanging up, Jessi writes her letter, telling Danielle how much everyone misses her. The book ends with a return letter from Danielle, saying replying to the Kids Club members and keeping up with her homework are occupying her time, preventing her from being bored. She's also hopeful, because even though she'll probably be in the hospital for a while, at least one of her wishes got fulfilled. If one could happen, maybe the other could too.
Just after the final chapter is a note about how us BSC readers are making wishes come true--for each copy of this book sold, four cents will get donated to the Make-a-Wish Foundation. Ten-year-old Joyce, who also has leukemia, got to go to WDW with her family because of Scholastic and AMM's donations. Four cents seems kind of chintzy to me, to be honest, but it's better than nothing--either that, or how many of these books were they expecting to be selling? I didn't pay attention to how well these books sold in their heyday, but dang. Maybe it was worthwhile. I still think they should have rounded up to a nickel or a dime, though. AMM, you didn't need to be all Scrooge McDuck-y and roll around in all your dough. Also, I'm not sure why they couldn't just use the Make-a-Wish Foundation by name within the book itself--why make up an organization? Even if it does exist, it's nowhere near as well known as Make-a-Wish. I just have to tell myself that their hearts are in the right places.
Bonus! This book came with a free Jessi bookmark!
Full name: Jessica Davis Ramsey
Age: 11 years old
Birthdate: June 30 (unless, of course, you read book #16)
Birthplace: Oakley, New Jersey
Club Position: Junior officer
Siblings: Becca and Squirt
Best friend: Mallory (and Keisha--did her birthday change, too?)
All-time favorite pastime: Ballet
Likes: Languages, telling jokes, and horse stories
Dislikes: Letter-writing and catty dancers (bet she hates Cats)
Greatest moment: Being chosen to play Princess Aurora in The Sleeping Beauty
Goal in life: "Maybe I will go to a dance school in New York City. Maybe I will even become a professional dancer." (Cookies to anyone who can find that exact quote anywhere.)
And with that, I bid you adieu for now, as I have finished off all the not-yet-snarked and incompletely-snarked books I have. I might go through some of the other books I have, or maybe tackle a super special, but no promises. I might take requests, though.