LS SS #4: Karen, Hannie, and Nancy: The Three Musketeers
Thanks to the what-hasn't-been-recapped post, I was able to go through my stash and pick out stuff to snark. Hooray! I was astonished to discover a Little Sister book hiding in there. Considering I was in high school when this book came out, I have no idea where it's from; perhaps it was in a book club package (hell yeah, Scholastic Funtastic). Dunno.
Now, I'm not as up on the Karen hatred as some of you, so we'll see if that changes as I read along.
First, the cover: Karen, Hannie, and Nancy are in some sort of forest, jumping with their arms up. They look thrilled to be alive. Oh, goody.
Chapter 1: Karen
It's summer vacation! Karen dumps all her crap in her mother's kitchen and--holy cow--uses a contraction on p. 2. She does a brief run-through of her family situation tells us that she, Hannie, and Nancy are best friends who made "gigundoly beautiful" bracelets for each other. And they're spending the break together, because Karen's dad is taking them on a trip to a lake! Oh boy.
Chapter 2: Karen
Karen has two families. That's the entire chapter. At least these chapters are short.
Chapter 3: Nancy
Nancy Jane--wait, nobody ever calls her that--is an only child. She thinks Hannie and Karen are lucky since they have siblings. Yes, but you don't ever have to share your crap with people if you don't want to; think of that. Oh, hey, Nancy's Jewish, or else she's a really odd child who invites non-related elderly people to her house for Jewish holidays. Nancy's house is quiet--no siblings and not even any pets, though a moth once flew in the house. What a poor, pathetic child. At least now she has a kitten! Man, she's like the seven-and-three-quarter-year-old version of Mary Anne with a mother. Of course, Nancy has names picked out for her potential siblings--Biff Bartholomew and April May. Nancy, if your parents said you could name the kid, I could see why you're still an only child.
Chapter 4: Hannie
Hannie's real name is Hannah; she has a decent-sized family; she enjoys reading: "It is too bad I cannot be a reader [when I grow up]. I do not think you can earn money just by reading." No kidding, kiddo. Though, really, if you can find a job someplace as a book reviewer, well... And her mind flits around like a butterfly. These days, we'd say she has ADHD.
Chapter 5: Karen
She gets dressed in eight seconds and invites the other girls and their dolls over.
Chapter 6: Nancy
Nancy pines over not having a sibling, then explains that the Three Musketeers have triplet dolls named Merry, Terry, and Kerry. Whee. I can see why I've never read one of these before; they're not terribly interesting. Oh, but they're making a house for their dolls out of cardboard! Wow! When do we go on vacation, girls?
Chapter 7: Hannie
Hannie describes lunch in Karen's backyard, where she had a lime popsicle that turned her tongue green. She comes up with an idea for something to do, but bossy Karen dictates that they'll go to the playground. Hannie mentions borrowing David Michael's bike, which seems odd, especially since they're at the little house. They apparently crash a day camp and play soccer and make stuff out of popsicle sticks.
Chapter 8: Karen
Karen channels Vanessa Pike and sings, "Yea! Hurray! It is time to take/all of my things to Shadow Lake!" Quick, pass me a barf bucket. Karen tries to pack but Andrew pesters her to teach him to read. She promises him he'll be able to read Hop on Pop by the end of the summer. Watson told her not to pack Emily Junior, the rat, but she can still bring her triplet doll.
Chapter 9: Nancy
Nancy's kitty alarm clock meows her awake for her trip. She doesn't want to go, partly because Shadow Lake sounds like a scary place, but in the end she still gets in the car to go to Watson's.
Chapter 10: Hannie
Because a trip with any BSC member's relatives has to include half the neighborhood, Hannie's brother Linny is coming along as a friend of David Michael's. Little Sari, however, is too young, which pains Hannie terribly. Not. She's looking forward to getting away from her little sister. She tells us that "The Brewers' van was broken, so we had to take three cars to the lake. That just shows how many people were going on the trip." Can't these people take a simple family vacation? I never went on vacation with other people. That's just weird to me. They play games in the car to pass the time.
Chapter 11: Karen
Karen shocks us by saying that yesterday she woke up in her own bed, but today she didn't! Yes, dear, that's what happens when you go on vacation. But they're not really in a cabin by a lake; it's a regular house. This made Andrew cry. I'd cry because the place has six bunk beds in each of the two kids' rooms. I hope those rooms are gigantic. The BSC members have come along, and Mary Anne is in charge of K/N/H. Each girl wants to do something different, so Mary Anne suggests they split up, but hell to the no, they're the Three Musketeers and they MUST stick together at all times. Going to the bathroom must get really interesting. Naturally, Karen decides what they're going to do, which involves a walk in the woods. The girls run ahead of MA and find a little house ("It was more like a shed") with a garden that they decide would be good for them and their dolls.
Chapter 12: Nancy
She spends the first part of the trip homesick, but after a couple of calls home she's fine. After the first week there's a rainy day and everyone--ho-crap, that's 20 people--hangs out in the living room. Nancy tries to read, but it's too damn noisy. See, kid, without siblings, you have a nice, quiet house with plenty of privacy. Soon, though, Karen's annoying voice pierces the air with a cry of "The rain has stopped!" and then tells the other girls what they're going to be doing. Sigh.
Chapter 13: Hannie
It's the day before they go back home. Hannie laments that her "Sari vacation" is almost over, but there's a big dance at a lodge that night! The girls want to get dressed up, but bullfrogs, it's casual. They also think they'll get to waltz and fox-trot like they learned in school, but it's all about the square dancing. When they take a dancing break, Hannie eats too much junk food and gets a stomachache, then thinks of how Sari comforted her the last time she felt sick. Hannie then decides she's not so sad about going home the next day.
Chapter 14: Karen
Back home. Mini-me-dictator Karen wants the girls to get together to make doll clothes, but when she calls Hannie, there's a mutiny! She's spending the day with her family! "Well, for heaven's sake. I could not believe my ears," Karen tells us. Dude, she just spent TWO WHOLE WEEKS with you--and her brother did, too--so it's no surprise they'd want some family time. Karen's all, hello, Three Musketeers; Hannie's all, tomorrow, bitch. Karen puts on her Very Cross Face and hangs with Nancy and Andrew, with Seth taking them to a carnival that night. Karen has fun, but Hannie better watch her back--Karen's still mad.
Chapter 15: Nancy
Ring, ring! Nancy, just finishing breakfast, thinks it's Karen with her mind-trap for the day...but it's Carly from Hebrew school! Carly's inviting Nancy to lunch with her and her big sister, but Nancy is a dumbass and says she already has plans because she saw how pissed Karen was at Hannie not joining them and doesn't want to be on the wrong end of a Very Cross Face. As soon as she hangs up, Karen calls and invites her swimming at Melody Korman's house, which is across from Watson's. Nancy goes but keeps thinking of Carly, which in turn makes Nancy mad. It's okay, Mary Anne Nancy, I understand.
Chapter 16: Hannie
Linny is discussing the bad spelling habits of cereal makers when the phone rings. Hannie goes, oh, no, it's Karen--"Guess what. I was sick and tired of Karen and Nancy. I had spent nearly every single day of the summer with them. I had barely seen my other friends. I had not had enough time to read my library books. ...Plus, Mommy and Daddy had bought an ice-cream maker and I had not been able to help make ice cream." In other words, something's gotta give. So when Karen said they were going to make lemonade and sell it that day, Hannie said no. Karen throws a bitch-fit: "Again?" Hannie says, "This is only the second time," then says she's doing something else with other people and slams the phone down. Hell yeah, honey. In her mini-rage, she calls Nancy, who tiredly answers the phone, "Hello, Karen," and is shocked to find it's Hannie and she's MAD. Well, Hannie, Nancy doesn't want to play with either you or Karen, so it's all a wash. Hannie tries to read Sarah, Plain and Tall, but is too distracted. She welcomes a chance to play with Sari.
Chapter 17: Karen
A week has gone by and K/N/H haven't talked to each other. "Do you know how hard that is? I just love to talk," Karen tells us. Shock. Karen's at her dad's and tries to goad Kristy into playing with her, but Kristy has a life--really?--and is going to the mall with Mary Anne to buy tapes. Oh, 1992. Karen ends up spending the day with Andrew, and surprise, he's learned how to read. Karen is so ecstatic that she goes to call her friends, then remembers they're all mad at each other. At seven-going-on-eight, she has not yet learned how to be the bigger person and make the first call.
Chapter 18: Nancy
It's been too quiet around Nancy's house this week, but her parents come and tell her that in five months, the quiet will be shattered she'll be a big sister! Hooray! They also tell her she can name the baby--oh, crap--but they get final approval. Phew. I'd hate to think of a kid named Princess Consuela Bananahammock running around Stoneybrook. Now that she's going to be a big sister, Nancy also learns how to be the bigger person--suck it, Karen--and calls up the little dictator with her good news and to apologize. She's at Watson's and invites Nancy over for a proper apology and to get together with Hannie. They all make up and it's flowers and unicorns again. That's right, you can be the Three Musketeers without spending every waking moment together and even have other friends. Amazing. They celebrate by listening to Andrew read Hop on Pop.
Chapter 19: Hannie
It's a week later, and Hannie is hosting a slumber party. They take a friendship test--they'll be "close, loyal friends for life"--and have dinner, then talk about what Nancy will name her future sibling. Biff and April are *so* last week, she says; now she's thinking of Matthew or Dana. Karen likes Roxanne; Hannie likes either Jilly or Tom. Nancy thinks Jilly Dawes might be a good name. Sari barges in, which makes Hannie mad, but it's only to blow her a good-night kiss. Hannie tells Nancy she hopes she ends up with a little sister like Sari.
Chapter 20: Karen
Uh, wait a sec, I didn't think there was supposed to be rampant lesbianism in the LS books: "I was watching Hannie's chest move up and down, up and down." I'm slightly creeped out by that. She then rolls over and looks at Nancy. Uh, Karen, is Kristy having special sleepovers with you? 'Cause that's not how my friends and I had sleepovers. The girls get up and have breakfast. The phone rings and it's a *boy*, ooh, and Hannie says she'd rather hang with Timmy Hsu (who lives down the street) than the girls. Nancy blushes and says she already has plans with Carly. Oh, no! But, phew, Karen was going to go swimming at Melody's, so it's all good. Nobody's mad! And Nancy gets to tell Carly about Amber or Brad, her future sibling. Karen wants Nancy to name the baby Karen, but Hannie wisely suggests the baby have his or her own name. Then they finish their stuff and go their separate ways...for now.
Activity Pages
The story part of the book goes to page 99. There are 140 pages in the book. I don't know if this is common for the Little Sister Super Specials or what, but the last part is chock-full of stuff to do, like what the girls had done in the book. You can make your own friendship bracelets and popsicle stick boxes! Sweet! And there's even recipes. OMG, there's even a maze. There should have been 100 pages of this and 40 pages of story. Sadly, I did not turn in my coupon for the Perfect Day Giveaway before November 30, 1992; guess I'm not winning that contest.
I now see why so many people said they read one or two Karen books before going to the BSC novels. This was really boring. Also, I'm ready to push Karen into a mud puddle. Why Hannie and Nancy put up with the insufferable twit, I'm not sure.
By the way, this appears to be the LS version of SS #8: Baby-Sitters at Shadow Lake. Who knew there were crossover books?
Now, I'm not as up on the Karen hatred as some of you, so we'll see if that changes as I read along.
First, the cover: Karen, Hannie, and Nancy are in some sort of forest, jumping with their arms up. They look thrilled to be alive. Oh, goody.
Chapter 1: Karen
It's summer vacation! Karen dumps all her crap in her mother's kitchen and--holy cow--uses a contraction on p. 2. She does a brief run-through of her family situation tells us that she, Hannie, and Nancy are best friends who made "gigundoly beautiful" bracelets for each other. And they're spending the break together, because Karen's dad is taking them on a trip to a lake! Oh boy.
Chapter 2: Karen
Karen has two families. That's the entire chapter. At least these chapters are short.
Chapter 3: Nancy
Nancy Jane--wait, nobody ever calls her that--is an only child. She thinks Hannie and Karen are lucky since they have siblings. Yes, but you don't ever have to share your crap with people if you don't want to; think of that. Oh, hey, Nancy's Jewish, or else she's a really odd child who invites non-related elderly people to her house for Jewish holidays. Nancy's house is quiet--no siblings and not even any pets, though a moth once flew in the house. What a poor, pathetic child. At least now she has a kitten! Man, she's like the seven-and-three-quarter-year-old version of Mary Anne with a mother. Of course, Nancy has names picked out for her potential siblings--Biff Bartholomew and April May. Nancy, if your parents said you could name the kid, I could see why you're still an only child.
Chapter 4: Hannie
Hannie's real name is Hannah; she has a decent-sized family; she enjoys reading: "It is too bad I cannot be a reader [when I grow up]. I do not think you can earn money just by reading." No kidding, kiddo. Though, really, if you can find a job someplace as a book reviewer, well... And her mind flits around like a butterfly. These days, we'd say she has ADHD.
Chapter 5: Karen
She gets dressed in eight seconds and invites the other girls and their dolls over.
Chapter 6: Nancy
Nancy pines over not having a sibling, then explains that the Three Musketeers have triplet dolls named Merry, Terry, and Kerry. Whee. I can see why I've never read one of these before; they're not terribly interesting. Oh, but they're making a house for their dolls out of cardboard! Wow! When do we go on vacation, girls?
Chapter 7: Hannie
Hannie describes lunch in Karen's backyard, where she had a lime popsicle that turned her tongue green. She comes up with an idea for something to do, but bossy Karen dictates that they'll go to the playground. Hannie mentions borrowing David Michael's bike, which seems odd, especially since they're at the little house. They apparently crash a day camp and play soccer and make stuff out of popsicle sticks.
Chapter 8: Karen
Karen channels Vanessa Pike and sings, "Yea! Hurray! It is time to take/all of my things to Shadow Lake!" Quick, pass me a barf bucket. Karen tries to pack but Andrew pesters her to teach him to read. She promises him he'll be able to read Hop on Pop by the end of the summer. Watson told her not to pack Emily Junior, the rat, but she can still bring her triplet doll.
Chapter 9: Nancy
Nancy's kitty alarm clock meows her awake for her trip. She doesn't want to go, partly because Shadow Lake sounds like a scary place, but in the end she still gets in the car to go to Watson's.
Chapter 10: Hannie
Because a trip with any BSC member's relatives has to include half the neighborhood, Hannie's brother Linny is coming along as a friend of David Michael's. Little Sari, however, is too young, which pains Hannie terribly. Not. She's looking forward to getting away from her little sister. She tells us that "The Brewers' van was broken, so we had to take three cars to the lake. That just shows how many people were going on the trip." Can't these people take a simple family vacation? I never went on vacation with other people. That's just weird to me. They play games in the car to pass the time.
Chapter 11: Karen
Karen shocks us by saying that yesterday she woke up in her own bed, but today she didn't! Yes, dear, that's what happens when you go on vacation. But they're not really in a cabin by a lake; it's a regular house. This made Andrew cry. I'd cry because the place has six bunk beds in each of the two kids' rooms. I hope those rooms are gigantic. The BSC members have come along, and Mary Anne is in charge of K/N/H. Each girl wants to do something different, so Mary Anne suggests they split up, but hell to the no, they're the Three Musketeers and they MUST stick together at all times. Going to the bathroom must get really interesting. Naturally, Karen decides what they're going to do, which involves a walk in the woods. The girls run ahead of MA and find a little house ("It was more like a shed") with a garden that they decide would be good for them and their dolls.
Chapter 12: Nancy
She spends the first part of the trip homesick, but after a couple of calls home she's fine. After the first week there's a rainy day and everyone--ho-crap, that's 20 people--hangs out in the living room. Nancy tries to read, but it's too damn noisy. See, kid, without siblings, you have a nice, quiet house with plenty of privacy. Soon, though, Karen's annoying voice pierces the air with a cry of "The rain has stopped!" and then tells the other girls what they're going to be doing. Sigh.
Chapter 13: Hannie
It's the day before they go back home. Hannie laments that her "Sari vacation" is almost over, but there's a big dance at a lodge that night! The girls want to get dressed up, but bullfrogs, it's casual. They also think they'll get to waltz and fox-trot like they learned in school, but it's all about the square dancing. When they take a dancing break, Hannie eats too much junk food and gets a stomachache, then thinks of how Sari comforted her the last time she felt sick. Hannie then decides she's not so sad about going home the next day.
Chapter 14: Karen
Back home. Mini-me-dictator Karen wants the girls to get together to make doll clothes, but when she calls Hannie, there's a mutiny! She's spending the day with her family! "Well, for heaven's sake. I could not believe my ears," Karen tells us. Dude, she just spent TWO WHOLE WEEKS with you--and her brother did, too--so it's no surprise they'd want some family time. Karen's all, hello, Three Musketeers; Hannie's all, tomorrow, bitch. Karen puts on her Very Cross Face and hangs with Nancy and Andrew, with Seth taking them to a carnival that night. Karen has fun, but Hannie better watch her back--Karen's still mad.
Chapter 15: Nancy
Ring, ring! Nancy, just finishing breakfast, thinks it's Karen with her mind-trap for the day...but it's Carly from Hebrew school! Carly's inviting Nancy to lunch with her and her big sister, but Nancy is a dumbass and says she already has plans because she saw how pissed Karen was at Hannie not joining them and doesn't want to be on the wrong end of a Very Cross Face. As soon as she hangs up, Karen calls and invites her swimming at Melody Korman's house, which is across from Watson's. Nancy goes but keeps thinking of Carly, which in turn makes Nancy mad. It's okay, Mary Anne Nancy, I understand.
Chapter 16: Hannie
Linny is discussing the bad spelling habits of cereal makers when the phone rings. Hannie goes, oh, no, it's Karen--"Guess what. I was sick and tired of Karen and Nancy. I had spent nearly every single day of the summer with them. I had barely seen my other friends. I had not had enough time to read my library books. ...Plus, Mommy and Daddy had bought an ice-cream maker and I had not been able to help make ice cream." In other words, something's gotta give. So when Karen said they were going to make lemonade and sell it that day, Hannie said no. Karen throws a bitch-fit: "Again?" Hannie says, "This is only the second time," then says she's doing something else with other people and slams the phone down. Hell yeah, honey. In her mini-rage, she calls Nancy, who tiredly answers the phone, "Hello, Karen," and is shocked to find it's Hannie and she's MAD. Well, Hannie, Nancy doesn't want to play with either you or Karen, so it's all a wash. Hannie tries to read Sarah, Plain and Tall, but is too distracted. She welcomes a chance to play with Sari.
Chapter 17: Karen
A week has gone by and K/N/H haven't talked to each other. "Do you know how hard that is? I just love to talk," Karen tells us. Shock. Karen's at her dad's and tries to goad Kristy into playing with her, but Kristy has a life--really?--and is going to the mall with Mary Anne to buy tapes. Oh, 1992. Karen ends up spending the day with Andrew, and surprise, he's learned how to read. Karen is so ecstatic that she goes to call her friends, then remembers they're all mad at each other. At seven-going-on-eight, she has not yet learned how to be the bigger person and make the first call.
Chapter 18: Nancy
It's been too quiet around Nancy's house this week, but her parents come and tell her that in five months, the quiet will be shattered she'll be a big sister! Hooray! They also tell her she can name the baby--oh, crap--but they get final approval. Phew. I'd hate to think of a kid named Princess Consuela Bananahammock running around Stoneybrook. Now that she's going to be a big sister, Nancy also learns how to be the bigger person--suck it, Karen--and calls up the little dictator with her good news and to apologize. She's at Watson's and invites Nancy over for a proper apology and to get together with Hannie. They all make up and it's flowers and unicorns again. That's right, you can be the Three Musketeers without spending every waking moment together and even have other friends. Amazing. They celebrate by listening to Andrew read Hop on Pop.
Chapter 19: Hannie
It's a week later, and Hannie is hosting a slumber party. They take a friendship test--they'll be "close, loyal friends for life"--and have dinner, then talk about what Nancy will name her future sibling. Biff and April are *so* last week, she says; now she's thinking of Matthew or Dana. Karen likes Roxanne; Hannie likes either Jilly or Tom. Nancy thinks Jilly Dawes might be a good name. Sari barges in, which makes Hannie mad, but it's only to blow her a good-night kiss. Hannie tells Nancy she hopes she ends up with a little sister like Sari.
Chapter 20: Karen
Uh, wait a sec, I didn't think there was supposed to be rampant lesbianism in the LS books: "I was watching Hannie's chest move up and down, up and down." I'm slightly creeped out by that. She then rolls over and looks at Nancy. Uh, Karen, is Kristy having special sleepovers with you? 'Cause that's not how my friends and I had sleepovers. The girls get up and have breakfast. The phone rings and it's a *boy*, ooh, and Hannie says she'd rather hang with Timmy Hsu (who lives down the street) than the girls. Nancy blushes and says she already has plans with Carly. Oh, no! But, phew, Karen was going to go swimming at Melody's, so it's all good. Nobody's mad! And Nancy gets to tell Carly about Amber or Brad, her future sibling. Karen wants Nancy to name the baby Karen, but Hannie wisely suggests the baby have his or her own name. Then they finish their stuff and go their separate ways...for now.
Activity Pages
The story part of the book goes to page 99. There are 140 pages in the book. I don't know if this is common for the Little Sister Super Specials or what, but the last part is chock-full of stuff to do, like what the girls had done in the book. You can make your own friendship bracelets and popsicle stick boxes! Sweet! And there's even recipes. OMG, there's even a maze. There should have been 100 pages of this and 40 pages of story. Sadly, I did not turn in my coupon for the Perfect Day Giveaway before November 30, 1992; guess I'm not winning that contest.
I now see why so many people said they read one or two Karen books before going to the BSC novels. This was really boring. Also, I'm ready to push Karen into a mud puddle. Why Hannie and Nancy put up with the insufferable twit, I'm not sure.
By the way, this appears to be the LS version of SS #8: Baby-Sitters at Shadow Lake. Who knew there were crossover books?