It's a METAPHOR. For a RING OF FIRE.
So! belmanoir and zabira and Z's awesome friend jillbertini and I went to see some of those American Idol people the other night! I liked them okay!
First, a disclaimer of sorts: it was very crowded and the floor is flat so it was kind of difficult to see, especially Allison-at least Adam is tall, but Alli is, as Jill put it, the size of a Little Mermaid, so. That was a little frustrating. However, despite the degree of fervor involved-which was EXTREMELY high-the crowd was actually a lot more polite than I'd feared; almost everybody seemed content to be REALLY REALLY enthusiastic pretty much in their own space, so yay for that. Fighting off pushy fans totally harshes my concert buzz, so I was really relieved that that was not necessary.
As for the show itself:
- ALLISON. YOU GUYS. I LOVE HER. So high energy, and she sounded AMAZING, and her cover of "Heartbreaker" made me weak at the knees. Ngggh. It is NOT RIGHT, how hot that girl is. And her vibe with her band is completely delightful-they just all seem like they're having so much FUN, and they seem to adore each other. Also I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Liz, her bassist, who is hot like burning and was just beaming this gleeful rockstar smile for pretty much their entire set. Also David Immerman is even more adorable in person than I expected. (Also I am shipping him and Alli a little bit, in a milkshake-with-two-straws, holding-hands-at-the-movies sort of way. SHUT UP. THEY'RE SO CUTE.) And the crowd adored her, too-there were more than a few "We love you Allison!"s (okay, one of them was mine, but still), and she seemed totally thrilled. "You guys kick ASS!" she told us, though, translated through Allison!speak, in her head it was probably more like, "You guyzzz kick aaaaaaaayyyssssss!" Oh Alli. Thank god that your Twitter reminds me regularly that you are, in fact, only 18, because otherwise my feelings for you tend to get VERY INAPPROPRIATE, VERY FAST, considering that I am damn near twice your age.
- I LOVE HER. IS MY POINT. And I keep listening to her album and it is SO GOOD and it makes me really happy.
- Spoiler: Adam Lambert's voice is extraordinary. I mean, I know that, but somehow I keep re-realizing it all the time, and seeing him live, and realizing that that is actually coming out of an actual person who is jut MAKING THOSE NOISES with his vocal cords without any apparent supernatural/divine/infernal assistance… like, that is RIDICULOUS, what he can do. And his set is just over an hour, which feels kind of short to me, but between the dancing and the strutting and the vocal gymnastics, I was exhausted just watching him, so I have no idea how he gets through that night after night, even at that set length. And his dancers are awesome and his band is really good-I had no idea that Monte was such a great guitarist-and the whole thing was just fucking IMPRESSIVE. (Though the lighting choices were hilariously cheesy, but Adam is just so COMMITTED to the drama that he can make that shit work, in total defiance of the odds. Though the actual RING OF FIRE projected behind him during "Ring of Fire"… Oh Adam. As Belmanoir said, "It's a METAPHOR. For a RING OF FIRE. Get it?" Heee heeee heee. That song was fucking AMAZING, though-gave me shuddery chills of wow, one of the highlights of the night for me.)
- Has anyone ever in the history of stairs descended stairs in a more dramatic fashion than Adam Lambert? I really think not.
- Adam Shankman has a habit of telling people on SYTYCD, "It's your world, and we're all just living in it," which is basically EXACTLY how I felt about Adam (Lambert)'s show, like here he is, this otherworldly S&M mad hatter leading you down the rabbit hole and into his rainbow sparkly forest orgy dance party, and who would not want to go to Adam's rainbow sparkly forest orgy dance party? Especially when the man himself is clearly SO THRILLED to be there. (Seriously, looking at him up there, with a new fabulous outfit every three songs, surrounded by hot undulating people, wailing his heart out in front of a desperately adoring crowd: Adam's life is AWESOME right now, and I love that for him.)
- I have never really smelled what Tommy was cooking in the past. After this show? YUM. I gave up on seeing Adam during one song and started watching Tommy instead, since he was right in our sight-line, and damn. He is SUCH a kitten, but he can also PROWL in a very (to me) unexpected manner, all sly and sidelong and shy-but-not, and that? Is quite an enjoyable combination. Mmmmm. (Plus his habit of singing along is fucking ADORABLE, omg.)
- My one bit of woe about the whole thing was that it was so entirely scripted from beginning to end that Adam didn't get to break character much, which was too bad because when he did, it was really adorable. (Adam is FUNNY and he's so sharp and so quick that keeping him to a script seems like a shame to me, even though I understand that there's a fair amount of complexity to the structure of the show, so a lot of it has to be scripted, but still. Then again, I am a banter whore, we all know this.) Most of the ad-libbing is captured in this (surprisingly good-quality) video, wherein Adam remarks on how "fucking hot" it is (which it WAS, my god I really kind of hate that venue), and comments on Tommy's chord-changing motion (which I noticed, but I didn't realize that Adam had noticed-in the noise I completely missed him saying that), and then, as he is introducing his choreographer/dancer (I don't know her name, the one with the longer, curly hair?), they sort of start gyrating together-as you do-only at the very end he zigs and she zags and he ends up racking himself in the groin. On her ass. As you do. And he doubles over, both laughing and cradling the much-sought-after glitterpeen, and he's like, "There you go, the Nutcracker Suite, right here in Seattle! It's fine, I'll just be singing a little bit higher now…" Heeeee hee heeee. NICELY RECOVERED, SIR.
- Possibly relatedly, we had to wait FOREVER for them to come back out for the encore-I wasn't timing it, obviously, but I swear it was at LEAST five minutes, longer than I've ever waited for an encore. And I was wondering, after seeing exactly how the groin-racking went down (which I could not see at the actual show), if Adam was tending to his injured parts during all that time. Which made me think, of course, that maybe Tommy was tending to Adam's injured parts. And then I remembered that when they came back out for the encore, Adam-against all expectation-had NOT changed outfits… but Tommy had. WHAT WAS TOMMY DOING THAT REQUIRED HIM TO CHANGE HIS CLOTHES, HMM? I'm just saying.
So, yeah. Adam Lambert's Rainbow Sparkly Forest Orgy Dance Party, with special guest Allison Iraheta The Most Awesome! I recommend it! And I am looking forward to attending it again in a month or so, and maybe even to being able to SEE this time. A girl can hope!
First, a disclaimer of sorts: it was very crowded and the floor is flat so it was kind of difficult to see, especially Allison-at least Adam is tall, but Alli is, as Jill put it, the size of a Little Mermaid, so. That was a little frustrating. However, despite the degree of fervor involved-which was EXTREMELY high-the crowd was actually a lot more polite than I'd feared; almost everybody seemed content to be REALLY REALLY enthusiastic pretty much in their own space, so yay for that. Fighting off pushy fans totally harshes my concert buzz, so I was really relieved that that was not necessary.
As for the show itself:
- ALLISON. YOU GUYS. I LOVE HER. So high energy, and she sounded AMAZING, and her cover of "Heartbreaker" made me weak at the knees. Ngggh. It is NOT RIGHT, how hot that girl is. And her vibe with her band is completely delightful-they just all seem like they're having so much FUN, and they seem to adore each other. Also I'm pretty sure I'm in love with Liz, her bassist, who is hot like burning and was just beaming this gleeful rockstar smile for pretty much their entire set. Also David Immerman is even more adorable in person than I expected. (Also I am shipping him and Alli a little bit, in a milkshake-with-two-straws, holding-hands-at-the-movies sort of way. SHUT UP. THEY'RE SO CUTE.) And the crowd adored her, too-there were more than a few "We love you Allison!"s (okay, one of them was mine, but still), and she seemed totally thrilled. "You guys kick ASS!" she told us, though, translated through Allison!speak, in her head it was probably more like, "You guyzzz kick aaaaaaaayyyssssss!" Oh Alli. Thank god that your Twitter reminds me regularly that you are, in fact, only 18, because otherwise my feelings for you tend to get VERY INAPPROPRIATE, VERY FAST, considering that I am damn near twice your age.
- I LOVE HER. IS MY POINT. And I keep listening to her album and it is SO GOOD and it makes me really happy.
- Spoiler: Adam Lambert's voice is extraordinary. I mean, I know that, but somehow I keep re-realizing it all the time, and seeing him live, and realizing that that is actually coming out of an actual person who is jut MAKING THOSE NOISES with his vocal cords without any apparent supernatural/divine/infernal assistance… like, that is RIDICULOUS, what he can do. And his set is just over an hour, which feels kind of short to me, but between the dancing and the strutting and the vocal gymnastics, I was exhausted just watching him, so I have no idea how he gets through that night after night, even at that set length. And his dancers are awesome and his band is really good-I had no idea that Monte was such a great guitarist-and the whole thing was just fucking IMPRESSIVE. (Though the lighting choices were hilariously cheesy, but Adam is just so COMMITTED to the drama that he can make that shit work, in total defiance of the odds. Though the actual RING OF FIRE projected behind him during "Ring of Fire"… Oh Adam. As Belmanoir said, "It's a METAPHOR. For a RING OF FIRE. Get it?" Heee heeee heee. That song was fucking AMAZING, though-gave me shuddery chills of wow, one of the highlights of the night for me.)
- Has anyone ever in the history of stairs descended stairs in a more dramatic fashion than Adam Lambert? I really think not.
- Adam Shankman has a habit of telling people on SYTYCD, "It's your world, and we're all just living in it," which is basically EXACTLY how I felt about Adam (Lambert)'s show, like here he is, this otherworldly S&M mad hatter leading you down the rabbit hole and into his rainbow sparkly forest orgy dance party, and who would not want to go to Adam's rainbow sparkly forest orgy dance party? Especially when the man himself is clearly SO THRILLED to be there. (Seriously, looking at him up there, with a new fabulous outfit every three songs, surrounded by hot undulating people, wailing his heart out in front of a desperately adoring crowd: Adam's life is AWESOME right now, and I love that for him.)
- I have never really smelled what Tommy was cooking in the past. After this show? YUM. I gave up on seeing Adam during one song and started watching Tommy instead, since he was right in our sight-line, and damn. He is SUCH a kitten, but he can also PROWL in a very (to me) unexpected manner, all sly and sidelong and shy-but-not, and that? Is quite an enjoyable combination. Mmmmm. (Plus his habit of singing along is fucking ADORABLE, omg.)
- My one bit of woe about the whole thing was that it was so entirely scripted from beginning to end that Adam didn't get to break character much, which was too bad because when he did, it was really adorable. (Adam is FUNNY and he's so sharp and so quick that keeping him to a script seems like a shame to me, even though I understand that there's a fair amount of complexity to the structure of the show, so a lot of it has to be scripted, but still. Then again, I am a banter whore, we all know this.) Most of the ad-libbing is captured in this (surprisingly good-quality) video, wherein Adam remarks on how "fucking hot" it is (which it WAS, my god I really kind of hate that venue), and comments on Tommy's chord-changing motion (which I noticed, but I didn't realize that Adam had noticed-in the noise I completely missed him saying that), and then, as he is introducing his choreographer/dancer (I don't know her name, the one with the longer, curly hair?), they sort of start gyrating together-as you do-only at the very end he zigs and she zags and he ends up racking himself in the groin. On her ass. As you do. And he doubles over, both laughing and cradling the much-sought-after glitterpeen, and he's like, "There you go, the Nutcracker Suite, right here in Seattle! It's fine, I'll just be singing a little bit higher now…" Heeeee hee heeee. NICELY RECOVERED, SIR.
- Possibly relatedly, we had to wait FOREVER for them to come back out for the encore-I wasn't timing it, obviously, but I swear it was at LEAST five minutes, longer than I've ever waited for an encore. And I was wondering, after seeing exactly how the groin-racking went down (which I could not see at the actual show), if Adam was tending to his injured parts during all that time. Which made me think, of course, that maybe Tommy was tending to Adam's injured parts. And then I remembered that when they came back out for the encore, Adam-against all expectation-had NOT changed outfits… but Tommy had. WHAT WAS TOMMY DOING THAT REQUIRED HIM TO CHANGE HIS CLOTHES, HMM? I'm just saying.
So, yeah. Adam Lambert's Rainbow Sparkly Forest Orgy Dance Party, with special guest Allison Iraheta The Most Awesome! I recommend it! And I am looking forward to attending it again in a month or so, and maybe even to being able to SEE this time. A girl can hope!