2 poems
I'm trying to edit two poems for a creative writing class, but I'm not quite sure where to go. They're supposed to be at least 15 lines long, and I'm having a bit of a hard time with that. I'm looking for help in pretty much everything, especially getting it to make sense/not be boring or embarassing. I think I need the most help with the second one.
Corners
Sliding down to dust
Next to jet stream traffic.
Pushing
Against dim walls,
Sleeping against railings,
Crowded comfort
On laps and tile.
Emails,
Emoticon explanations
Lost or half deleted by invisible viruses.
Infected smiles
Maintaining lies.
Furniture,
Tables thrown back from the dance floor
To corners of the room.
Skinning Signatures
Trace along her inner amputations,
Cosmetic,
Limited,
But delay the splitting.
Claiming noninvasive,
Advocates of injections,
Force-feeders,
Pill concealers,
Proven liars diagnose her
Accurately.
Distilling personality,
Twisting her pen
Into signatures of paranoia.
Corners
Sliding down to dust
Next to jet stream traffic.
Pushing
Against dim walls,
Sleeping against railings,
Crowded comfort
On laps and tile.
Emails,
Emoticon explanations
Lost or half deleted by invisible viruses.
Infected smiles
Maintaining lies.
Furniture,
Tables thrown back from the dance floor
To corners of the room.
Skinning Signatures
Trace along her inner amputations,
Cosmetic,
Limited,
But delay the splitting.
Claiming noninvasive,
Advocates of injections,
Force-feeders,
Pill concealers,
Proven liars diagnose her
Accurately.
Distilling personality,
Twisting her pen
Into signatures of paranoia.