oversensitive...as usual.
I am terrified. No one has ever had such complete and total control over my emotions before. The slightest thing can upset me, or make me the happiest person in the entire world. When did I let go so completely? When did I start blending my happiness in with your exsistence?....I know you love me, and I have never trusted anyone so much, but that doesn't change how terrified I feel... do I tell you? That kind of power would scare me, but would it scare you away... to hold something so significant in your hands. The very thought of having given over my soul brings me to tears, its such a confusingly refreshing, and yet empty feeling at all the same time. to have lost control over my own happiness is probabaly the scariest thought...What a whirlwind of feelings, I'm so overwhelmed and scared all at the same time... I am so much needier than I have ever wanted to be in my life...is it the distance? is it the fact that I have never loved someone with such shattering intensity before? is it both...or is it something else? I look into your eyes and you love me for all the things that I have always hated myself for...I look at you as the missing pieces of my puzzle in the most breathtakingly beautiful way...and I hope I am the same to you, I hope that when you look into my eyes you can see, feel, how much I love you for the pure intensity of conviction, and raw honest emotion that eminates from your very being. But do I need you more than you need me...am I clinging too much too soon? Am I setting myself up to get thrown through the blender yet again....99.9% I believe not... but that .1% scares the living shit out of me... I know that I wouldn't recover for a long time... I would be destroyed... and I know the ridiculousness that comes from a statement so utterly dramatic after only so few months of even knowing you, but something in me let go, something in me opened up so entirely and trusted you with my rawest and purest emotions and feelings...you let me in the same and I cling to you, I trust you, and I need you... I have never in my life felt like I needed anyone, not in this way...my life is forever changed because of you, and I am terrified and amazed at that simultaneously....don't break me.