Irony
Title: Irony
Author: dephi
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The plot is mine.. :D
Summary: Fate is sometimes just so cruel. When I want to meet and see your face, I couldn't find you, but when I don't want to see your face at all, your face seems to appear everywhere. When I miss you so much, I couldn't seem to get in touch with you at all, but when I am sick of your cliché words, your messages always reach me. When we're finally being able to walk together on the same path, our relationship has already reached the end. Because love, doesn't always mean that we will be together. So this is the end...
A/N: Beta by my dearest annatanhe
Fate is sometimes just so cruel...
When I want to meet and see your face, I couldn't find you,
but when I don't want to see your face at all, your face seems to appear everywhere.
####
The bright sunlight shone inside the room through the big glass window. Birds chirping were heard outside, although it was blocked by the glass.
A few droplets of water fell from the green leaves, falling from the top of trees till it reached the grey road. The sign of last night’s rain was seen despite how bright the sun was. A few pedestrians were walking along the quiet street while avoiding the water puddles everywhere.
The clock hanging on the wall showed that it was still 7 in the morning, an unusual time for Ueda to wake up, moreover becoming so restless. It was already his 5th time walking around his apartment and he was not satisfied yet. The 6th round had just been started, yet his heart was not in peace at all.
He kept on walking and walking, while taking a few peeks between his cell phone and the round big clock on the wall. His heart was racing hard as he couldn't bring himself to calm down.
It was the day Ryo would return back to Tokyo after spending a while working in Osaka. Ueda missed his boyfriend so much, even with his infamous poisonous tongue. He had been waiting for this day since a few days ago. And because of his anxiety, he had woken up much earlier than he usually did.
A few things were scattered around the room. The kitchen was the messiest part of the room. Ueda knew that he had never been good in cooking, yet he insisted in baking a cake. He started making a big round one at first, which turned up to be a big failure, and when the flour was used up, he only managed to make a small round cake in the size of a tea cup, which was not too perfect either as he baked it a bit longer than the normal baking time, and it would turn out to be a failure too if only Ueda had left it in the oven for another minute. It might not be the best cake he could have presented, not even with a good taste, but he had put all of his feelings inside, so he was feeling satisfied by it.
Ueda took a long gaze on the small cake and chuckled when remembering the hard work he had put just to create such a tiny-but-not-so-cute cake. But the smile faded away as panic invaded his heart again.
It didn't take long before a calming tune was heard, the favourite tune he had set for signaling the texts he received. With a panicky heart, he took his phone and flipped it carefully. His hands were a bit shaky, feeling anxious of what kind of text he would get.
But the anxiousness dropped down when he finally read the whole message. The heart became calm all of a sudden, as his panicky expression disappeared.
"Next week, huh?"
Slowly, he reached the messy kitchen and took the small round cake, observing it for a while, before he threw it to the wastebasket and proceeded back to his sleeping slumber again.
~~~~
It was one of the uncountable fights which happened between them. At first each of their band mates were worried about them, especially because they could harm each other, like real harming. But then, as the fights started reaching an unbelievable amount, especially when they could fight over even a trivial matter such as candies, and it didn't seem like they were going to stop fighting in the near future, they grew tired of it and watched it like it was one of the dramas airing in television.
Ueda hated how the poisonous tongue worked. It always hurt his heart, and Ryo didn't seem to be tired of throwing sharp retorts at him, even after they started dating each other.
But then, no matter how much they fight, how much Ueda cried and declared that he hated the black haired man, they always made up in the end with the risk of having another fight sooner or later. He didn't mind that. The fight was hurting, yet they knew that it was what made their relationship happened, so they just couldn't stop it.
Sometimes the fight was just so trivial. Might be because Ryo ate Ueda's favorite candy without permission, and that would turn into a big argument. Ueda would always end up crying with Ryo trying to console him. But sometimes, when the fight was too difficult to be settled and both of them had already reached their limits, they would decide to take a short break between them. It was for the better, they thought.
During those times, Ueda would find it annoying to see his lover's face and it was the same for Ryo, as they knew that their meeting would only end up with another tiring fight. During those times, when they bumped into each other, they would just send death glares. But fate seemed to work in funny ways. As when Ueda went to the cafeteria, he would see Ryo sitting there leisurely, and when Ryo wanted to take a break at the roof top, Ueda would have claimed the place by the time he arrived. No words were exchanged. Sharp retorts disappeared, as it was replaced by a cold silence.
The worst case was when they were forced to be together in the same room. Both didn't want to look at each other, and the room became so scary due to the tension they had between them.
"I'm leaving." Ryo said in a cold tone, as he stood up from his bench and took his bag immediately, reaching the door.
"Good bye." Ueda replied immediately without even looking at his lover. There was a loud 'bang' after that, because of Ryo closing the door harshly, but he didn't care.
####
When I miss you so much, I couldn't seem to get in touch with you at all,
but when I am sick of your cliché words, your messages always reach me
####
It was not a usual sight to see Ueda not being lazy and enjoying his relaxing time, at least it was until he declared that he started dating with Ryo.
The reactions each of the KAT-TUN members gave were different. The mature Kame simply gave a smile while praying that Ueda would be happy. Jin, being the bakanishi he was, congratulated him in a real loud voice while muttering how he couldn't believe it. Junno was being his usual self, saying that he would pray for his Uepi and giving yet another silly pun, which ended up in him being smacked by the annoyed Koki who said that Ueda should tell him when the prideful Nishikido Ryo hurt him in any way. Nakamaru seemed rather shocked by it, but he claimed that he had quite expected it.
Alright, that was not the normal congratulations people usually gave, but Ueda was happy because of that.
The rest of KAT-TUN, except for Jin, quickly noticed how Ueda's mood could be easily manipulated by his boyfriend. Whenever they had a fight, Ueda would be pouting all the time, sending his deathliest glare to whoever who dared to mess around with him. Junno had become the victim once, and since then he knew perfectly how to behave around the pissed off Ueda. But when they were going to have a date, it was as if flowers had started blooming inside the dressing room, even on the coldest day of winter, and Ueda's sweet smile looked even sweeter than ever, unless Jin decided to say something stupid, spoiling the entire mood.
That was just how things worked, and seeing the current restless Ueda, it was easy for his band mates to notice that it is definitely something to do with Ryo. Kame was the first one to notice that Ryo had been away for almost a week. The rest, excluded Jin, nodded understandingly and worried faces started appearing one by one.
Ueda just could not stop pacing up and down. Even when the manager called them, he didn't seem to realize it. His mind was away, as if he had lost it somewhere.
His band mate could only let out a few sighs seeing how the sad man kept on looking at his cell phone, the clock, and the calendar hanging on the wall. They would really love to help but they did not know what exactly happened although they had had their deductions.
Nishikido Ryo. The name immediately popped up as the first suspicion, or actually he was the only one who was able to turn Ueda into this state. Most probably, Ueda was just missing his boyfriend.
Nakamaru was the one who decided to approach him, patting his shoulder once he was beside him. Ueda was startled and the phone he held fell to the floor. Ueda got panicky again and quickly picked it up. Nakamaru could only shake his head several times seeing how his best friend kept on gazing at the phone with a hopeful look.
"Waiting for a call?" Nakamaru asked.
Ueda didn't immediately give his reply as he slowly moved his head a bit, until he faced his fellow band mate.
"Not really."
Nakamaru could clearly see through the lie. "Oh, then would you mind lending your phone to me?"
Ueda’s frown was clearly seen, and he became rather protective to his yellow cell phone. Nakamaru let out another sigh because of that.
"You know... It's time to start our practice." Kame suddenly said from behind Nakamaru. "Just try calling him later, Ueda." he added with a small smile before pulling Nakamaru away. Ueda, although he didn't want to, put his cell phone back in his bag unwillingly and kept on looking at it, before he exited the dressing room.
~~~~
Many said that he should be grateful for having a hot and popular boyfriend like Ryo. But for Ueda, Ryo was actually far from being the perfect boyfriend.
He might look romantic in the dramas he starred in, but the reality was harsher. Indeed, the romantic side was there, but his poisonous tongue always managed to ruin everything perfectly.
Ueda had tried to be patient every time, but his sensitive self was another issue, and when he couldn't take it anymore, the fight would be started. Tears would start falling from his eyes and there were two options left for Ryo, whether to console him and ask for forgiveness, or when Ryo was also angry, he would just leave.
It seemed like there were only two kinds of ending, while actually there was another kind of scenario which might happen in some rare times.
When Ueda was too mad to think clearly, or when the scar was too deep, he wouldn't give forgiveness to his lover at all. Ueda would just shove Ryo away from his apartment while Ryo could only groan in frustration.
Ueda would simply enjoy his day normally; well there was a slight abnormality which everyone could clearly see as he would purposely ignore Ryo. Whenever Ryo's name was mentioned, he would make it seem as if the name hadn't been mentioned, and the people who mentioned it wouldn't dare to say it again when the dark princess sent his deathliest intimidating glare to him. Who would dare to act against the furious Ueda anyway? And this didn't exclude Jin.
But Ryo was not a guy who gave up easily. It might be rare, but that didn't mean that he hadn't experienced it before. But then, Ueda's mind was rather complex, and it was hard to please him during these times. When Ryo had reached the peak of his frustration, he would shower Ueda with a huge amount of calls, texts, flowers, everything would be done just for forgiveness.
People might call him as a stalker, but Ryo didn't care. Only during these times that his romantic self was exposed bluntly, although unfortunately, Ueda was too blinded by his own anger to see it.
Ryo would force himself to wake up earlier and shower Ueda with morning calls full of sorry. Texts were sent over and over again. Money would be thrown easily just to buy things he thought would please his angry princess.
He did everything just for Ueda's sake.
Ueda might be blinded by his anger, but that didn't mean that he didn't notice Ryo's efforts to get his heart back again. Moreover, he sometimes took pity on his boyfriend.
But that didn't really mean that he would easily be forgiven, right?
####
When we're finally being able to walk together on the same path, our relationship has already reached the end.
####
A relationship could only be built when both parties were able to support it.
They loved each other but they kept fighting with each other. The same thing happened over and over again. Fighting, making up, fighting, making up. It was not a healthy relationship, they understood.
It was tiring.
Unstoppable tears always came out whenever the fight was over. Ueda knew that. Harsh words, sometimes even the inappropriate ones, kept coming out from each others’ mouth. It was endless. Although they knew that they would make up in the end, it still hurt.
Both realized that this kind of relationship would easily crumble. And at some point it should be ended for good, whether in a nice happy ending, or a bad sad one.
"I am tired." Ryo said one day. "Let's just end this."
Ueda looked at Ryo immediately. There was a tiny hint of shock in his face which faded away fast. A small nod was the only answer, and that was the end.
####
Because love, doesn't always mean that we will be together.
So this is the end...
E/N: No happy ending? Oh well. To fillefranzine, this is actually the fic I wanted to write for your present, but then I found out that this was too gloomy to be one.. :)
Author: dephi
Pairing: RyoDa
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The plot is mine.. :D
Summary: Fate is sometimes just so cruel. When I want to meet and see your face, I couldn't find you, but when I don't want to see your face at all, your face seems to appear everywhere. When I miss you so much, I couldn't seem to get in touch with you at all, but when I am sick of your cliché words, your messages always reach me. When we're finally being able to walk together on the same path, our relationship has already reached the end. Because love, doesn't always mean that we will be together. So this is the end...
A/N: Beta by my dearest annatanhe
Fate is sometimes just so cruel...
When I want to meet and see your face, I couldn't find you,
but when I don't want to see your face at all, your face seems to appear everywhere.
####
The bright sunlight shone inside the room through the big glass window. Birds chirping were heard outside, although it was blocked by the glass.
A few droplets of water fell from the green leaves, falling from the top of trees till it reached the grey road. The sign of last night’s rain was seen despite how bright the sun was. A few pedestrians were walking along the quiet street while avoiding the water puddles everywhere.
The clock hanging on the wall showed that it was still 7 in the morning, an unusual time for Ueda to wake up, moreover becoming so restless. It was already his 5th time walking around his apartment and he was not satisfied yet. The 6th round had just been started, yet his heart was not in peace at all.
He kept on walking and walking, while taking a few peeks between his cell phone and the round big clock on the wall. His heart was racing hard as he couldn't bring himself to calm down.
It was the day Ryo would return back to Tokyo after spending a while working in Osaka. Ueda missed his boyfriend so much, even with his infamous poisonous tongue. He had been waiting for this day since a few days ago. And because of his anxiety, he had woken up much earlier than he usually did.
A few things were scattered around the room. The kitchen was the messiest part of the room. Ueda knew that he had never been good in cooking, yet he insisted in baking a cake. He started making a big round one at first, which turned up to be a big failure, and when the flour was used up, he only managed to make a small round cake in the size of a tea cup, which was not too perfect either as he baked it a bit longer than the normal baking time, and it would turn out to be a failure too if only Ueda had left it in the oven for another minute. It might not be the best cake he could have presented, not even with a good taste, but he had put all of his feelings inside, so he was feeling satisfied by it.
Ueda took a long gaze on the small cake and chuckled when remembering the hard work he had put just to create such a tiny-but-not-so-cute cake. But the smile faded away as panic invaded his heart again.
It didn't take long before a calming tune was heard, the favourite tune he had set for signaling the texts he received. With a panicky heart, he took his phone and flipped it carefully. His hands were a bit shaky, feeling anxious of what kind of text he would get.
But the anxiousness dropped down when he finally read the whole message. The heart became calm all of a sudden, as his panicky expression disappeared.
"Next week, huh?"
Slowly, he reached the messy kitchen and took the small round cake, observing it for a while, before he threw it to the wastebasket and proceeded back to his sleeping slumber again.
~~~~
It was one of the uncountable fights which happened between them. At first each of their band mates were worried about them, especially because they could harm each other, like real harming. But then, as the fights started reaching an unbelievable amount, especially when they could fight over even a trivial matter such as candies, and it didn't seem like they were going to stop fighting in the near future, they grew tired of it and watched it like it was one of the dramas airing in television.
Ueda hated how the poisonous tongue worked. It always hurt his heart, and Ryo didn't seem to be tired of throwing sharp retorts at him, even after they started dating each other.
But then, no matter how much they fight, how much Ueda cried and declared that he hated the black haired man, they always made up in the end with the risk of having another fight sooner or later. He didn't mind that. The fight was hurting, yet they knew that it was what made their relationship happened, so they just couldn't stop it.
Sometimes the fight was just so trivial. Might be because Ryo ate Ueda's favorite candy without permission, and that would turn into a big argument. Ueda would always end up crying with Ryo trying to console him. But sometimes, when the fight was too difficult to be settled and both of them had already reached their limits, they would decide to take a short break between them. It was for the better, they thought.
During those times, Ueda would find it annoying to see his lover's face and it was the same for Ryo, as they knew that their meeting would only end up with another tiring fight. During those times, when they bumped into each other, they would just send death glares. But fate seemed to work in funny ways. As when Ueda went to the cafeteria, he would see Ryo sitting there leisurely, and when Ryo wanted to take a break at the roof top, Ueda would have claimed the place by the time he arrived. No words were exchanged. Sharp retorts disappeared, as it was replaced by a cold silence.
The worst case was when they were forced to be together in the same room. Both didn't want to look at each other, and the room became so scary due to the tension they had between them.
"I'm leaving." Ryo said in a cold tone, as he stood up from his bench and took his bag immediately, reaching the door.
"Good bye." Ueda replied immediately without even looking at his lover. There was a loud 'bang' after that, because of Ryo closing the door harshly, but he didn't care.
####
When I miss you so much, I couldn't seem to get in touch with you at all,
but when I am sick of your cliché words, your messages always reach me
####
It was not a usual sight to see Ueda not being lazy and enjoying his relaxing time, at least it was until he declared that he started dating with Ryo.
The reactions each of the KAT-TUN members gave were different. The mature Kame simply gave a smile while praying that Ueda would be happy. Jin, being the bakanishi he was, congratulated him in a real loud voice while muttering how he couldn't believe it. Junno was being his usual self, saying that he would pray for his Uepi and giving yet another silly pun, which ended up in him being smacked by the annoyed Koki who said that Ueda should tell him when the prideful Nishikido Ryo hurt him in any way. Nakamaru seemed rather shocked by it, but he claimed that he had quite expected it.
Alright, that was not the normal congratulations people usually gave, but Ueda was happy because of that.
The rest of KAT-TUN, except for Jin, quickly noticed how Ueda's mood could be easily manipulated by his boyfriend. Whenever they had a fight, Ueda would be pouting all the time, sending his deathliest glare to whoever who dared to mess around with him. Junno had become the victim once, and since then he knew perfectly how to behave around the pissed off Ueda. But when they were going to have a date, it was as if flowers had started blooming inside the dressing room, even on the coldest day of winter, and Ueda's sweet smile looked even sweeter than ever, unless Jin decided to say something stupid, spoiling the entire mood.
That was just how things worked, and seeing the current restless Ueda, it was easy for his band mates to notice that it is definitely something to do with Ryo. Kame was the first one to notice that Ryo had been away for almost a week. The rest, excluded Jin, nodded understandingly and worried faces started appearing one by one.
Ueda just could not stop pacing up and down. Even when the manager called them, he didn't seem to realize it. His mind was away, as if he had lost it somewhere.
His band mate could only let out a few sighs seeing how the sad man kept on looking at his cell phone, the clock, and the calendar hanging on the wall. They would really love to help but they did not know what exactly happened although they had had their deductions.
Nishikido Ryo. The name immediately popped up as the first suspicion, or actually he was the only one who was able to turn Ueda into this state. Most probably, Ueda was just missing his boyfriend.
Nakamaru was the one who decided to approach him, patting his shoulder once he was beside him. Ueda was startled and the phone he held fell to the floor. Ueda got panicky again and quickly picked it up. Nakamaru could only shake his head several times seeing how his best friend kept on gazing at the phone with a hopeful look.
"Waiting for a call?" Nakamaru asked.
Ueda didn't immediately give his reply as he slowly moved his head a bit, until he faced his fellow band mate.
"Not really."
Nakamaru could clearly see through the lie. "Oh, then would you mind lending your phone to me?"
Ueda’s frown was clearly seen, and he became rather protective to his yellow cell phone. Nakamaru let out another sigh because of that.
"You know... It's time to start our practice." Kame suddenly said from behind Nakamaru. "Just try calling him later, Ueda." he added with a small smile before pulling Nakamaru away. Ueda, although he didn't want to, put his cell phone back in his bag unwillingly and kept on looking at it, before he exited the dressing room.
~~~~
Many said that he should be grateful for having a hot and popular boyfriend like Ryo. But for Ueda, Ryo was actually far from being the perfect boyfriend.
He might look romantic in the dramas he starred in, but the reality was harsher. Indeed, the romantic side was there, but his poisonous tongue always managed to ruin everything perfectly.
Ueda had tried to be patient every time, but his sensitive self was another issue, and when he couldn't take it anymore, the fight would be started. Tears would start falling from his eyes and there were two options left for Ryo, whether to console him and ask for forgiveness, or when Ryo was also angry, he would just leave.
It seemed like there were only two kinds of ending, while actually there was another kind of scenario which might happen in some rare times.
When Ueda was too mad to think clearly, or when the scar was too deep, he wouldn't give forgiveness to his lover at all. Ueda would just shove Ryo away from his apartment while Ryo could only groan in frustration.
Ueda would simply enjoy his day normally; well there was a slight abnormality which everyone could clearly see as he would purposely ignore Ryo. Whenever Ryo's name was mentioned, he would make it seem as if the name hadn't been mentioned, and the people who mentioned it wouldn't dare to say it again when the dark princess sent his deathliest intimidating glare to him. Who would dare to act against the furious Ueda anyway? And this didn't exclude Jin.
But Ryo was not a guy who gave up easily. It might be rare, but that didn't mean that he hadn't experienced it before. But then, Ueda's mind was rather complex, and it was hard to please him during these times. When Ryo had reached the peak of his frustration, he would shower Ueda with a huge amount of calls, texts, flowers, everything would be done just for forgiveness.
People might call him as a stalker, but Ryo didn't care. Only during these times that his romantic self was exposed bluntly, although unfortunately, Ueda was too blinded by his own anger to see it.
Ryo would force himself to wake up earlier and shower Ueda with morning calls full of sorry. Texts were sent over and over again. Money would be thrown easily just to buy things he thought would please his angry princess.
He did everything just for Ueda's sake.
Ueda might be blinded by his anger, but that didn't mean that he didn't notice Ryo's efforts to get his heart back again. Moreover, he sometimes took pity on his boyfriend.
But that didn't really mean that he would easily be forgiven, right?
####
When we're finally being able to walk together on the same path, our relationship has already reached the end.
####
A relationship could only be built when both parties were able to support it.
They loved each other but they kept fighting with each other. The same thing happened over and over again. Fighting, making up, fighting, making up. It was not a healthy relationship, they understood.
It was tiring.
Unstoppable tears always came out whenever the fight was over. Ueda knew that. Harsh words, sometimes even the inappropriate ones, kept coming out from each others’ mouth. It was endless. Although they knew that they would make up in the end, it still hurt.
Both realized that this kind of relationship would easily crumble. And at some point it should be ended for good, whether in a nice happy ending, or a bad sad one.
"I am tired." Ryo said one day. "Let's just end this."
Ueda looked at Ryo immediately. There was a tiny hint of shock in his face which faded away fast. A small nod was the only answer, and that was the end.
####
Because love, doesn't always mean that we will be together.
So this is the end...
E/N: No happy ending? Oh well. To fillefranzine, this is actually the fic I wanted to write for your present, but then I found out that this was too gloomy to be one.. :)