(no subject)
Right now, I think things are going ok. My moods have been eratic--up and down, happy, sad, angry, panic-attack--sometimes all in one day. But I feel a bit more stable now that my financial situation is more secure.
I think things are going to even out a bit now, and I can just focus on making this semster awesome.
I guess I'm in sort of a transitional period in my life right now. I'm figuring out what my absolute priorities are.
At the end of the day, I have to ask myself: am I being true to myself, and am I living a clean, honest life? I've made a point of taking most pollutants out of my body, and making my own health and mental health the priority. I am dedicated to living a life that is true, and wherever I am, and whatever I do, that question is always there: am I being fucking real? And if I'm not, am I at least aware of it?
I feel like I am connecting with myself in a way that I haven't in a long time--I'm getting to know my body in a new way. Working out, I feel all those muscles I forgot were there. I'm listening to what my body is telling me--that I need more sleep, or less sugar, or more time to just smell the roses, or more structure. Sometimes it feels like all that tissue I thought was dead is getting some new, fresh blood pumped into it, and slowly, I'm starting to get it moving.
And more and more, I'm checking off baggage that I've been holding on to, leaving it at the terminal instead of hauling it with me to yet another flight.
Discovering myself like this is perhaps the most important thing I've been through, and like all things worth achieving, it doesn't come easy.
I think things are going to even out a bit now, and I can just focus on making this semster awesome.
I guess I'm in sort of a transitional period in my life right now. I'm figuring out what my absolute priorities are.
At the end of the day, I have to ask myself: am I being true to myself, and am I living a clean, honest life? I've made a point of taking most pollutants out of my body, and making my own health and mental health the priority. I am dedicated to living a life that is true, and wherever I am, and whatever I do, that question is always there: am I being fucking real? And if I'm not, am I at least aware of it?
I feel like I am connecting with myself in a way that I haven't in a long time--I'm getting to know my body in a new way. Working out, I feel all those muscles I forgot were there. I'm listening to what my body is telling me--that I need more sleep, or less sugar, or more time to just smell the roses, or more structure. Sometimes it feels like all that tissue I thought was dead is getting some new, fresh blood pumped into it, and slowly, I'm starting to get it moving.
And more and more, I'm checking off baggage that I've been holding on to, leaving it at the terminal instead of hauling it with me to yet another flight.
Discovering myself like this is perhaps the most important thing I've been through, and like all things worth achieving, it doesn't come easy.