If tears were alcohol, I would be drunk...
Today was not so bad...Carolina plays at 5:30 so watching that should take my mind off of things...I re-did my buddy info on my aim today..I like it...it is so cold in my room right now..my hands are freezing..but the funny thing is i could get under the blanket but i dont want to have to unmake my bed...I decided to mail jason his bank card...that is the only thing i have left from him...i feel bad throwing everything away but it had to be done...i cant keep holding on to something that isnt there..i think the hardest thing for me to throw away were all the letters and all the cards...and the scrapbook...so many memories just flushed down the fucking toilet....the sad part is that i am afraid that if he is EVER like I want you back I would run to him...I know I shouldnt do that but i just feel like he is so confused right now and maybe he might work things out in his brain and everything will be alright...well i am going to go throw myself the grandest of pity parties lol...maybe an entry later..