The snowball effect...
Well, things are gathering speed here. I met up with Jameel for what I suspect will be the last time this Monday. Actually, that's a funny story.
I'd spent all day Saturday (the last time I wrote) fussing over Solomon (he really is gorgeous) and watching videos at K's house. Came home at around seven and decided to attack (read: clean) the kitchen and living room. Well, I got the kitchen pretty much scrubbed as thoroughly as it could be, and tidied up in the living room. I was zonked, but it wasn't even 10:30. I read till eleven, still exhausted, and collapsed into bed.
I woke up to the phone ringing. I felt as if I'd had a good, long sleep and was therefore sure that it was 4 or 5 a.m., so I was a bit disoriented when I picked up the phone and Jameel apologised for calling so late. It was a rather strange phone call (he told me after he was a bit drunk) but he basically wanted to get together for coffee. "What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked. "Er... tomorrow?" I replied, struggling to make my brain function. Tomorrow. Sunday. Church. Then nothing. Free afternoon. Watching Solomon. Possibly go for a run. "Nothing much." "OK, tomorrow, 7:30, at the Sleepless Goat?" "OK," I responded, wanting nothing much more now than my bed. After I got off the phone I peered vaguely around the study and said, "How am I going to remember?" I looked at some scraps of paper, then at my watch, saw that it was twenty to two, replied "Eh, I'll remember," and toddled off back to bed.
Luckily, the next morning I did remember (I'm inclined to do things in my sleep and then forget all about them -- rather inconvenient on occasion) but I more than half suspected that it was all a dream. When I walked down to the Goat the next evening, I was adding up evidence in my head. Weirdness factor: Very random phone call. Meeting at the Goat, which I wasn't aware was a hang out of his. Wants to take me out for coffee, not beer! Genuine of Jameel: Said "Hey," only, expecting me to recognise his voice. Called late at night, assuming I'd be up, then apologised anyway. Also, it didn't seem like a dream. Everything in my study was where it should be, there were no dream-like aspects, and I'm not inclined to have entirely realistic, could-really-happen-in-real-life type dreams.
Jameel was very late. He finally showed up at 8, and I might have given up and left by that time if Jeremy wasn't sitting outside, so that I decided to hang out with him for a bit. Lucky for Jameel. Turns out he just wanted to have coffee (and yes, later, beer... he's mildly alcoholic, I suspect), and a walk, and tell me how much he would have liked to have a relationship with me if his "personal factors" hadn't intervened (truly personal and quite confidential, so I'm leaving it at that). Really, I'm quite relieved he wasn't in the position to date properly as I'm not interested and this way I got to take the chickenshit route and not tell him so outright. I asked if we couldn't get together on occasion like normal friends do, go for coffee/movie/beer/dinner/whatever like we had that night. He very deliberately did the "body sweep with eyes" thing and responded "Oh, I couldn't do that." Purely bravado, and he'd done so very successfully that night, but I suspect he'll stick to it, so I probably won't be seeing him again.
Had a meeting with the other grad students (Suzie, Steph, Jenny and Joanne) and Bill James yesterday. I think I'm the one who's planning on finishing my Master's Essay earliest, although Jenny's the furthest forward. She really is in a position just to paste different term papers together and edit them, whereas I have chunks to actually write. But she's planning on staying here in Kingston next year to work for James Miller as research assistant, so I guess she's not in much of a hurry.
Then, also yesterday, Jennifer (this is Jen D, my former roommate, not Jen B., my coursemate) cut my phone off. I'm quite annoyed about this, although she did say something about doing so on that particular day. It's just my understanding was that she was trying to get through to Tara (who's taken over the lease, and who'd buggered off to TO without leaving either of us a number) and speak to her about the hydro and phone and if she couldn't get through to her, she'd just cut them off. Well, I know for a fact that she did get through to Tara because Tara told me so. Tara's completely unwilling to start up the phone till September, which I can kind of understand. Apparently some previous subletter stuck her with a phone bill for $200. "It's not that I think you're going to do that," she says, which is bollocks, really, because if she didn't think that she wouldn't be refusing to hook the line up early, but there you go. She doesn't know me that well. No, the person I'm really cross with is Jen, which is an odd position to be in because she's been so sweet up to now. We agreed at the beginning of the summer that I'd just pay the bills. Anyway, whatever, I can live without a phone at home, I've a line at the office and email's terribly handy. It's certainly not worth my while to pay $60 to get the damn thing hooked up for one month.
Of course, this could all prove to be somewhat problematic as Tara's got some subletter she wants to get into the apartment. This in itself is rather annoying. I was perfectly willing to share with a subletter, or at least find one to take my place come July, but Tara said, no, no, she didn't want a subletter at all, it was just convenient for her that I happened to be staying, and she'd even refund me my rent if I decided not to stay for July. Her mum, however, says this is not at all the case, they can't afford to pay the rent for the rest of the summer and they need a subletter. However, now is not at all a convenient time for one to be moving in. First off, of course, is the amount of work I have to do in the next month. This is not a good time for my apartment to be turned upside down while some stranger moves in. In the second place, I'm going to Halifax next week. Tuesday, to be exact. So if the subletter wants to even see the place before I go, she'd better be damned quick about it. I've only had one phone call from her, just before the phone was cut off, to say she didn't have a phone number I could reach her at, but she'd keep trying me. Well, that's not exactly going to work now, is it?? I wish these stupid women would find a story and stick to it. I just want to be bloody well left alone to do my work and pay my bills when necessary. Fuuuuuck.
Anyway, I'm going to call Jen today and tell her I'm leaving town, call Tara and tell her the same thing and that my phone has been cut off and then they can bloody well work it out between them. I'm sick of this nonsense. This was exactly what I liked so much about the original deal with Jen. She had been living here for three years, she had everything figured out and all she wanted me to do was fork over my share of the money. Now all of a sudden she's in luuuuurve so she feels she can bugger off and leave me to deal with the fallout. Well that wasn't the deal!
Oh well, this time next year none of this will be of any importance. Of course, Goddess only knows where I'll be then... *shudders*
We are made to bleed, and scab, and heal, and bleed again,
And turn every scar into a joke
We are made to fight, and fuck and talk and fight again
And sit around and laugh until we choke
I'd spent all day Saturday (the last time I wrote) fussing over Solomon (he really is gorgeous) and watching videos at K's house. Came home at around seven and decided to attack (read: clean) the kitchen and living room. Well, I got the kitchen pretty much scrubbed as thoroughly as it could be, and tidied up in the living room. I was zonked, but it wasn't even 10:30. I read till eleven, still exhausted, and collapsed into bed.
I woke up to the phone ringing. I felt as if I'd had a good, long sleep and was therefore sure that it was 4 or 5 a.m., so I was a bit disoriented when I picked up the phone and Jameel apologised for calling so late. It was a rather strange phone call (he told me after he was a bit drunk) but he basically wanted to get together for coffee. "What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked. "Er... tomorrow?" I replied, struggling to make my brain function. Tomorrow. Sunday. Church. Then nothing. Free afternoon. Watching Solomon. Possibly go for a run. "Nothing much." "OK, tomorrow, 7:30, at the Sleepless Goat?" "OK," I responded, wanting nothing much more now than my bed. After I got off the phone I peered vaguely around the study and said, "How am I going to remember?" I looked at some scraps of paper, then at my watch, saw that it was twenty to two, replied "Eh, I'll remember," and toddled off back to bed.
Luckily, the next morning I did remember (I'm inclined to do things in my sleep and then forget all about them -- rather inconvenient on occasion) but I more than half suspected that it was all a dream. When I walked down to the Goat the next evening, I was adding up evidence in my head. Weirdness factor: Very random phone call. Meeting at the Goat, which I wasn't aware was a hang out of his. Wants to take me out for coffee, not beer! Genuine of Jameel: Said "Hey," only, expecting me to recognise his voice. Called late at night, assuming I'd be up, then apologised anyway. Also, it didn't seem like a dream. Everything in my study was where it should be, there were no dream-like aspects, and I'm not inclined to have entirely realistic, could-really-happen-in-real-life type dreams.
Jameel was very late. He finally showed up at 8, and I might have given up and left by that time if Jeremy wasn't sitting outside, so that I decided to hang out with him for a bit. Lucky for Jameel. Turns out he just wanted to have coffee (and yes, later, beer... he's mildly alcoholic, I suspect), and a walk, and tell me how much he would have liked to have a relationship with me if his "personal factors" hadn't intervened (truly personal and quite confidential, so I'm leaving it at that). Really, I'm quite relieved he wasn't in the position to date properly as I'm not interested and this way I got to take the chickenshit route and not tell him so outright. I asked if we couldn't get together on occasion like normal friends do, go for coffee/movie/beer/dinner/whatever like we had that night. He very deliberately did the "body sweep with eyes" thing and responded "Oh, I couldn't do that." Purely bravado, and he'd done so very successfully that night, but I suspect he'll stick to it, so I probably won't be seeing him again.
Had a meeting with the other grad students (Suzie, Steph, Jenny and Joanne) and Bill James yesterday. I think I'm the one who's planning on finishing my Master's Essay earliest, although Jenny's the furthest forward. She really is in a position just to paste different term papers together and edit them, whereas I have chunks to actually write. But she's planning on staying here in Kingston next year to work for James Miller as research assistant, so I guess she's not in much of a hurry.
Then, also yesterday, Jennifer (this is Jen D, my former roommate, not Jen B., my coursemate) cut my phone off. I'm quite annoyed about this, although she did say something about doing so on that particular day. It's just my understanding was that she was trying to get through to Tara (who's taken over the lease, and who'd buggered off to TO without leaving either of us a number) and speak to her about the hydro and phone and if she couldn't get through to her, she'd just cut them off. Well, I know for a fact that she did get through to Tara because Tara told me so. Tara's completely unwilling to start up the phone till September, which I can kind of understand. Apparently some previous subletter stuck her with a phone bill for $200. "It's not that I think you're going to do that," she says, which is bollocks, really, because if she didn't think that she wouldn't be refusing to hook the line up early, but there you go. She doesn't know me that well. No, the person I'm really cross with is Jen, which is an odd position to be in because she's been so sweet up to now. We agreed at the beginning of the summer that I'd just pay the bills. Anyway, whatever, I can live without a phone at home, I've a line at the office and email's terribly handy. It's certainly not worth my while to pay $60 to get the damn thing hooked up for one month.
Of course, this could all prove to be somewhat problematic as Tara's got some subletter she wants to get into the apartment. This in itself is rather annoying. I was perfectly willing to share with a subletter, or at least find one to take my place come July, but Tara said, no, no, she didn't want a subletter at all, it was just convenient for her that I happened to be staying, and she'd even refund me my rent if I decided not to stay for July. Her mum, however, says this is not at all the case, they can't afford to pay the rent for the rest of the summer and they need a subletter. However, now is not at all a convenient time for one to be moving in. First off, of course, is the amount of work I have to do in the next month. This is not a good time for my apartment to be turned upside down while some stranger moves in. In the second place, I'm going to Halifax next week. Tuesday, to be exact. So if the subletter wants to even see the place before I go, she'd better be damned quick about it. I've only had one phone call from her, just before the phone was cut off, to say she didn't have a phone number I could reach her at, but she'd keep trying me. Well, that's not exactly going to work now, is it?? I wish these stupid women would find a story and stick to it. I just want to be bloody well left alone to do my work and pay my bills when necessary. Fuuuuuck.
Anyway, I'm going to call Jen today and tell her I'm leaving town, call Tara and tell her the same thing and that my phone has been cut off and then they can bloody well work it out between them. I'm sick of this nonsense. This was exactly what I liked so much about the original deal with Jen. She had been living here for three years, she had everything figured out and all she wanted me to do was fork over my share of the money. Now all of a sudden she's in luuuuurve so she feels she can bugger off and leave me to deal with the fallout. Well that wasn't the deal!
Oh well, this time next year none of this will be of any importance. Of course, Goddess only knows where I'll be then... *shudders*
We are made to bleed, and scab, and heal, and bleed again,
And turn every scar into a joke
We are made to fight, and fuck and talk and fight again
And sit around and laugh until we choke