this song's not ours
(i)
“Hey, you're Jung Jessica, right?”
“No. They call me Ice Princess because I'm, well, I'm cold and probably heartless. I kill people by just randomly spacing out and making them freeze in an ice cube. What about you?”
Jinki thinks she's being humorous but a second later after she finishes, Jessica kept the same face without any hint of laughter but Jinki gives props to her for being funny regardless.
“I.....I don't have a name but you can call me Sandman since you're the first person to ask.”
“Sandman, that's cool. Do you have a last name?”
“Lee. Sandman Lee.”
“That's cool, Lee Jinki, you can always try to be a comedian instead. Waste your singing voice and years of training. That kid that hangs out a lot with Kibum, you'll surely make him cry.”
“Jonghyun? Woah, wait...wait wait wait wait wait. You, Jung Jessica, the Ice Princess knows me?”
“Why not?” She cocks a brow like it was a miracle that she knew him.
“Well...I just thought you don't pay attention to other trainees.”
“That's pretty sad coming from you. Anyway, good luck with your life, Jinki.”
“U-Uhhh....yeah....t-thank you and Good luck as well.”
Starting that day, Jinki tells himself that he'll try to be the best that he can be. For himself and more for her. Suddenly, a hand reaches for his but he jerks away.
“I guess you don't like coffee.”
Jessica offers him a cup of coffee and shakes the cup in front of him. He takes it, more because of the fear that the hot liquid would spill all over him. Jinki lets out a chuckle and thanks her and she bids him goodbye just like that. He starts walking again and realizes that the so-called Ice Princess has really warm hands.
Then logic soon takes over. It must be the coffee.
For once, he's sure of one thing that he's probably thinking too much about her and too much was never a good thing. Too much was never healthy but no one told him to stop and so Jinki doesn't.
The third time they meet, Jinki pauses and takes his time to watch them (her) twirling their skirts to a song he's sure he had heard before. He gathers enough courage before approaching her and the moment his eyes land on her figure, she's already staring back.
“Ahh, Jinki-sshi, have you heard? We'll be debuting soon.”
“Yeah. So Nyuh Shi Dae, is it? I never imagined that they would debut a girl group that big.”
“I was hoping for a better name but we can't change what the management gives. How about you?”
“We're still....doing well. No name yet. Since I'm the eldest in the bunch, I'm guessing they'll pick me as leader since I don't expect anything from Jonghyun, really.”
Jessica laughs.
Jinki notices that Jessica is really pretty when she laughs. Like her voice suddenly turns into a symphony or a calm a Capella and her eyes are really pretty too; she brings her hand up to cover her mouth and compares her to something insanely beautiful like the love sick crackhead that he is.
Hyoyeon interferes them a few minutes later, saying that they still need Jessica for practice and gives him a knowing smile.
“Uh oh” His brain supplies. He can be so obvious at times.
The passing days, he makes it appoint to ignore all existence and signs of Jessica because it is all too much for his tiny heart to suffer. Jinki has tiny hands too. Seoul is pretty small too. In fact, the whole training center seems smaller and crowded as moments pass by, almost like it was mocking him - telling him that he has no escape.
That Jessica Jung (in one, perhaps two conversations) already has Jinki completely (completely, completely) tied on her fingertips.
...in lov- Jinki shakes his head and refuses to let that thought penetrate his pure brain. He can't be. He's young. He's stupid. She's young, beautiful and all other good characteristics a male teen going through adolescences looks for. How else would you see the story go?
On the day of their debut, he stays in bed (even with Minho's countless efforts of dragging him to their living room to watch television. “Hyung, come on. Sica-nuna will be on soon.”)
Minho wins.
After the tragic event, he shoos Minho away and tells him to study his Mandarin. Jinki goes back to his bed and the next thing he knows, he's thinking about her again. And again, the next day and the day after that and after that and there are already so many 'and's in this sentence that there's no way to make it sound less awkward.
He sees less of her after that and sometimes he peeks into their practice room to take his chances of seeing her or just steal a glance. They are practicing, like usual yet unlike old times, Jinki feels their determination and will-power. Whatever those are, those are definitely strong forces of good o'le hard work.
And Jinki gets through his day with a smile.
(ii)
Jessica turned eighteen a few months earlier than he does but they celebrate it together. They wrap themselves in warm clothes before going. December is a cold month, after all.
Jinki raises his glass. “To independence!”
“It's odd when you say that. Our lives are basically anything but that.” She raises her glass anyway and with a 'clink', they move it closer to their lips and chug it in an instant.
The alcohol makes her cheeks red and it makes him stare more. It might be a good day after all.
“Isn't it much more odd that you were born in April? That would be...spring. Spring is pretty nice. I'm born in December. Winter and scarves and thick jackets. Shouldn't I be the cold one instead?”
Jessica's about to interject some witty reply but Jinki kept on talking so she just did the listening part.
“In fact, I like spring better than winter but that doesn't mean I don't like the cold. I like the cold. Just...just...”
She nods and understands what he means. Half of her brain tells her that it must be just the alcohol talking and the other half explains to her that sometimes alcohol is the truth serum.
“Drink your heart out, Jinki. We'll never be eighteen again.”
(iii)
Jinki, now Onew, sees less and less of Jessica.
(iv)
They sing a duet. A song about leaving a person you love. Onew stares wide-eyed at his copy in the studio. It's all too sudden for his brain to process. He's listening to the demo when she arrives. Onew bows to her direction and to the other girls as well.
“Ahh, Lee Jinki, we meet again.”
“We've been both really busy lately.” Jinki smiles. “Good luck with your new album. The new concept really suits you.”
“Thanks. SHINee's doing really well too.”
They're back to the 'hi', 'hello' and 'thank you' period and the friendship they tried to create is back to step one.
///
“How tiring. I want to sleep.” Jessica slumps back on the couch outside the recording studio.
“Don't you have a schedule to attend to.”
Jinki sits down next to her. She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
“You really shouldn't be sleeping here, Sica.”
A moment of dull silence passes. Onew just leans his back on the soft cushion and glances at her. She's still the same sleepy-head lazy ice princess and he's still the same average dreamer who dreams of having her. Dreamers and princesses don't belong together.
“You know...” Jessica mutters out of the blue.
“What?”
“One year later is such a weird song.”
Onew chuckles. “Is it? Why?”
“I don't know. One year seems to be really short. Forgetting is really hard too. Every situation portrayed was just weird to me. It wasn't just one year for me after all...”
“So you related your own experiences of love to our song?” Onew disregards that fact that she did but his heart stings a little.
Onew doesn't emphasize that it's their song but she notices it and she can't help but smile a little. “I'm just saying.”
“I don't understand you.”
“You don't? Well, I am the ice princess after all.” She teases him and laugh.
“Yes, you are.” It's Onew's turn to close his eyes. He hums a song. Their song and forgets everything else.
Jessica stares at him and a sudden urge to move closer takes over. Jessica's not the type to long for human affection. Maybe because she has eight girls who are always there for her and Krystal too.
Onew makes it seem like Jessica was needy of anything...everything and somehow, she feels like Onew would be the only one who can suffice that craving. She moves closer and plants a kiss on his cheek, an action that surprised both of them.
She looks away and avoids his glance. “I've waited for a long time to do that.”
Onew cups her face in his hands and faces her. He inches closer and kisses her full on the lips. He longed for this too. He waited for a very long time too, knowing nothing that she feels the same way.
He pulls away and smiles at her. “I waited for four years to do that.”
She smiles at him too and holds his hand tightly like it would escape her grasp and forever be lost. “We should play 'One year Later' four times then.”
Jinki laughs. “Maybe, we should.”
(v)
“Sica-nuna is such an interesting character.” Kibum says as he pushes Jonghyun's head lower in their hide-out.
“And together with Jinki, they are even an interesting pair.” Jonghyun nods as they watch the pair share their happiest moment together.
***
I am so sorry for ooc!jessica. the dialogue in the first part just took over the whole thing. I don't like writing long pieces but my fingers kept on typing so here you go. Yes, this is long for me. This is written in a whatever-i-don't-care manner so excuse my mistakes. I'm only human.