he knows
Changmin never fancied watching dramas. It was ridiculous and pointless. He wondered why people plop on their couch and turn their TV on to watch some late noon time drama almost everyday.
And so he wondered why he did the same a particular Thursday night without any of the members. He was just bored and there was nothing else to do, he reasoned out but he knew that there was something more.
A familiar face flashed on the screen. Changmin knew her face well, knew the basics things about her life, knew that she was in that drama, knew that she was part of So nyeo shi dae, knew that her name was Im Yoona.
Other than that, he discovered more of her from Jungsoo. They chatted about her when he brought up the topic of food. The spark died. Jungsoo knew Yoona better than he does. Jungsoo knew that Yoona laughed with her mouth wide open, knew that she was a great dancer, knew that she didn't have a good relationship with her mother.
He bet even Junsu knew Yoona more than he does.
Because all he knew were the basic things and that won't get him anywhere.
He remembered he was fourteen when he first entered SM. She was twelve back then but he looked up to her. At such a young age, he couldn't imagine what pains and long nights she must have gone through to achieve just a stupid dream.
(And somewhere in between, the beauty that she had, it was pulling him closer to her. It was no joke when trainees called her an angel.)
Except it wasn't a stupid dream back then. For him, it was so much more.
Maybe for her too. He remembered the fourteen year old Yoona who cried because she wasn't one of the people who debuted and the sixteen year old coward that he was for not approaching her.
Yoona reached the age of eighteen when they announce that she'll debut soon. He remembered that was the first time he ever spoke to her. A simple 'congratulations' was all that he could manage and a shy smile was all that she could give in return.
Except it wasn't just a smile when it was Yoona. Changmin knew that from the beginning.
Their age didn't matter at this time. Changmin was a coward all along. He could have done something, said something, changed something but he was a coward and cowards do nothing.
He turned the TV off before the anticipated scene for the day's episode.
When Yoona reached the age of nineteen, Changmin didn't need a reminder that he was in love with her, nonetheless, that her smile brought his heart to haywire. That every thing that she does, to him was beautiful.
However, it was equally painful that at the age of nineteen, Yoona knew the right way to prick and hurt a young man's heart. She acted a character well. A character that was in love with a brave person who was ready to fight whatever it takes.
Changmin was not that person.
Dramas have twisted plots, unpredictable situations, cruel characters and sometimes, two people who were just plainly happy with each other.
He knew reality well. That was exactly why, Changmin never fancied any dramas.
(They met again that same night. A simple 'congratulations' was all that he could manage but she didn't wear her usual smile, instead she pouted. “Changmin-sunbae, you saw it?”
He nodded and patted her head. “You were great, Yoona-sshi. Your training really paid off well.”
“Thank you.” With that, she wore her usual smile - that made his knees weak and heart beat increasingly - and ran off.
This was their reality and no twisted plot can change the coward that he was.)
/////
i think i got this from a prompt and pairing generator. i don't remember.
i might ship. who knows.
And so he wondered why he did the same a particular Thursday night without any of the members. He was just bored and there was nothing else to do, he reasoned out but he knew that there was something more.
A familiar face flashed on the screen. Changmin knew her face well, knew the basics things about her life, knew that she was in that drama, knew that she was part of So nyeo shi dae, knew that her name was Im Yoona.
Other than that, he discovered more of her from Jungsoo. They chatted about her when he brought up the topic of food. The spark died. Jungsoo knew Yoona better than he does. Jungsoo knew that Yoona laughed with her mouth wide open, knew that she was a great dancer, knew that she didn't have a good relationship with her mother.
He bet even Junsu knew Yoona more than he does.
Because all he knew were the basic things and that won't get him anywhere.
He remembered he was fourteen when he first entered SM. She was twelve back then but he looked up to her. At such a young age, he couldn't imagine what pains and long nights she must have gone through to achieve just a stupid dream.
(And somewhere in between, the beauty that she had, it was pulling him closer to her. It was no joke when trainees called her an angel.)
Except it wasn't a stupid dream back then. For him, it was so much more.
Maybe for her too. He remembered the fourteen year old Yoona who cried because she wasn't one of the people who debuted and the sixteen year old coward that he was for not approaching her.
Yoona reached the age of eighteen when they announce that she'll debut soon. He remembered that was the first time he ever spoke to her. A simple 'congratulations' was all that he could manage and a shy smile was all that she could give in return.
Except it wasn't just a smile when it was Yoona. Changmin knew that from the beginning.
Their age didn't matter at this time. Changmin was a coward all along. He could have done something, said something, changed something but he was a coward and cowards do nothing.
He turned the TV off before the anticipated scene for the day's episode.
When Yoona reached the age of nineteen, Changmin didn't need a reminder that he was in love with her, nonetheless, that her smile brought his heart to haywire. That every thing that she does, to him was beautiful.
However, it was equally painful that at the age of nineteen, Yoona knew the right way to prick and hurt a young man's heart. She acted a character well. A character that was in love with a brave person who was ready to fight whatever it takes.
Changmin was not that person.
Dramas have twisted plots, unpredictable situations, cruel characters and sometimes, two people who were just plainly happy with each other.
He knew reality well. That was exactly why, Changmin never fancied any dramas.
(They met again that same night. A simple 'congratulations' was all that he could manage but she didn't wear her usual smile, instead she pouted. “Changmin-sunbae, you saw it?”
He nodded and patted her head. “You were great, Yoona-sshi. Your training really paid off well.”
“Thank you.” With that, she wore her usual smile - that made his knees weak and heart beat increasingly - and ran off.
This was their reality and no twisted plot can change the coward that he was.)
/////
i think i got this from a prompt and pairing generator. i don't remember.
i might ship. who knows.