Status
Alright, so I'm aware this blog is pretty uninteresting lately, but goddamnit it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.
The paxil had some heavy side effects. Anything from the poop shoots to the inability to jerk it. After a single dose I decided it wasn't doing me any favors and didn't take another. Then I hit a few mild withdrawal symptoms. On one dose. Absurd.
Dizziness has kept up through the lot. It's been my main enemy these past few weeks, despite the distractions of an eye sore (literally. I mean, I have no idea why, but it came and went) and a somewhat painful swollen lymph node under an armpit. The good news is I saw an ENT, and in her relatively stressed-out-and-technically-not-MD opinion, it wasn't too concerning. She did, however, manage to pull an inch and a half long thing of earwax from my right ear. You can imagine how I felt aftwards (sorry, no pictures - no forethought :(). So it seems as though that helped and the dizziness has been less of an issue the past couple of days.
Saw a psych today who put me on some lexapro. Not only is it a milder drug than paxil, it's a significantly lower dosage (half-pill of the minimum available dose to start). Here's hoping that sees me with more success. Gonna give it a whirl tomorrow morning.
So I panic attacked pretty hard tonight. I think, I hope it was a panic attack. After working out I ended up choking on some spit, and the choking kept up (I usually choke an awful lot for no good reason after the fact). By the time I was heading home, I was freaking out about breathing. When I got home, I was mostly doing alright, calming down, etc... But still focused on my breathing. Finally, my left arm started to get quite tingly which, from what I understand via an EMT (for whatever that's worth), can just be hyperventilation. This was annoying and a bit disconcerting, but I took it in stride and kept focusing on my breathing. I started calming down, watching TV, when the big thing hit. Suddenly I didn't have the ability to breathe any longer; breaths just weren't coming in. Coinciding with that, I could feel my pulse weakening dramatically and my entire body quite suddenly went pins and needles. A moment later, the fear-induced adrenaline kicked in and my pulse was up, my breathing to match.
The tingling didn't stop outright until I took a lorazepam and a dump and calmed down a bit. Pulse and breathing are normal now. I'm naturally fearful it's something more sinister, especially since I've played out this exact situation three, maybe four times now (although the body tingling thing is a bit new). But the fact that the anti-anxiety med really helped cool things off tells me otherwise. If nothing else, tonight's experience shows precisely why I need to be on meds.
The paxil had some heavy side effects. Anything from the poop shoots to the inability to jerk it. After a single dose I decided it wasn't doing me any favors and didn't take another. Then I hit a few mild withdrawal symptoms. On one dose. Absurd.
Dizziness has kept up through the lot. It's been my main enemy these past few weeks, despite the distractions of an eye sore (literally. I mean, I have no idea why, but it came and went) and a somewhat painful swollen lymph node under an armpit. The good news is I saw an ENT, and in her relatively stressed-out-and-technically-not-MD opinion, it wasn't too concerning. She did, however, manage to pull an inch and a half long thing of earwax from my right ear. You can imagine how I felt aftwards (sorry, no pictures - no forethought :(). So it seems as though that helped and the dizziness has been less of an issue the past couple of days.
Saw a psych today who put me on some lexapro. Not only is it a milder drug than paxil, it's a significantly lower dosage (half-pill of the minimum available dose to start). Here's hoping that sees me with more success. Gonna give it a whirl tomorrow morning.
So I panic attacked pretty hard tonight. I think, I hope it was a panic attack. After working out I ended up choking on some spit, and the choking kept up (I usually choke an awful lot for no good reason after the fact). By the time I was heading home, I was freaking out about breathing. When I got home, I was mostly doing alright, calming down, etc... But still focused on my breathing. Finally, my left arm started to get quite tingly which, from what I understand via an EMT (for whatever that's worth), can just be hyperventilation. This was annoying and a bit disconcerting, but I took it in stride and kept focusing on my breathing. I started calming down, watching TV, when the big thing hit. Suddenly I didn't have the ability to breathe any longer; breaths just weren't coming in. Coinciding with that, I could feel my pulse weakening dramatically and my entire body quite suddenly went pins and needles. A moment later, the fear-induced adrenaline kicked in and my pulse was up, my breathing to match.
The tingling didn't stop outright until I took a lorazepam and a dump and calmed down a bit. Pulse and breathing are normal now. I'm naturally fearful it's something more sinister, especially since I've played out this exact situation three, maybe four times now (although the body tingling thing is a bit new). But the fact that the anti-anxiety med really helped cool things off tells me otherwise. If nothing else, tonight's experience shows precisely why I need to be on meds.