(no subject)
I don't like it when people don't say bless you when someone sneezes. It's almost a borderline deal-breaker with girls. I'm kind of weird about it. Like it's not a religious thing or even so much a courtesy thing. In some odd way it just makes me feel connected to people. Like if somebody says "Bless you" when I sneeze than it makes me feel like they give a shit that I actually sneezed. And even if they didn't give a damn at least they heard it, acknowledged it, and said something. It's just humans interacting with humans. And I'm always kinda weirded out when people sneeze and no one says bless you. Like I was wanderin' 'round Wal-Mart the other day and some random lady sneezed like 30 feet away from me and I practically yelled "Bless you!"
I dunno if it mattered much to her. But it's just one of those oddball little things that matters more to me than it probably should.
I hate when people don't hold doors for people. Or when they call girls "females". The door thing is just a common courtesy. I have no clue what my deal with with the word females derives from. I guess it just sounds weird in my head. Not quite disrespectful yet it doesn't really encapsulate what girls are in my in my brain. Speakin' of that, what age am I 'sposed to stop callin' them girls and start callin' them women? Is a girl a girl till she's like 30? 40? I like to call them girls. It sounds more innocent.
Woman? I don't think I've ever slept, dated, or hell even chased a woman before. Not in my head at least. With a woman it just seems so MA-TOUR and committed. I suck at committing to things.
Case in point, I'm 28 years old and never once been a legal tenant. I just kinda always scooted in under friend's leases and just paid them whatever. Never had a power bill in my name. Or a cable bill. Or any bill really other than a cell phone when I was far to ill-equipped to actually have one in my dumbass early 20's.
I just have a hard time committing. I always like to keep my options open. Which is just code for I prefer to always have one foot out the door. An escape plan. Exit strategy. Whatever you wanna call it.
I want to commit to something though. I'm gonna start by gettin' my own apartment here in a month and a half. And then what? A gym membership? Maybe a credit card? A real girlfriend? Who knows. It's kinda scary to me. I'm not scared really of much of anything, but committing to something freaks me out. It always has. I reckon I might as well give it a whirl though. What's that sayin'? If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
That makes a little more sense at this stage in the game than it did when I first heard it.
I think I'm gonna ask for next Saturday night off. I was wanderin' about the Queen's City today enjoyin' the lovely day. But I couldn't truly enjoy it because all I could think about was that I'd hafta go to work at 11. And then once that time came it was a PERFECT night. The sky had those whacky clouds that are accentuated by the glow of the full moon. And it reminded me of home. Where I spent Lord knows how many hours just lookin' at the sky. It made me wanna have a bonfire. And drink some beer and laugh at stupid stories.
I just want a Saturday night where I can go out and enjoy my damn city for a change. Goin' out durin' the week is lame because everybody's done by midnight. And midnight is just when I get good and ready to go. I'm better after the sun goes down.
I miss PTPT on Saturday nights. Where you start out doin' something that doesn't seem all that excitin' initially then next thing you know it's past 3am and you've been havin' the time of your life and you don't want the night to end. I miss those. Most of my Saturday nights since I've been here have been spent sittin' here on my ass in this very hotel. And while I appreciate the monies and don't wholly despise my jobbie. I'm becomin' more and more disenfranchised with this whole "ALWAYS Here on Friday and Saturday nights deal" It kinda sucks dude.
So I've been voicin' my concerns to my bosses over the past couple of weeks. And they said once somebody else was trained on this shift then I could start havin' some weekends to do stuff. On June 26 I will have been here two years! TWO years is a long ass time for me to be ANYWHERE! Let alone at one jobbie. I've worked very hard. I haven't called in one single time. I've covered countless shifts on short notices. Yet somehow I'm the second longest tenured front desk person here and I'm the ONLY person in front desk land that works all three shifts. Sometimes I work three different shifts all in one week.
I just want to feel like my hard work is worth it ya know? And the bosses said we'd talk at my two year mark and hopefully I'm due a raise and don't hafta do this night audit on the weekends crap anymore. I wanna get out and live man. Find a girl. Meet new and interesting people. Bust up comfort zones and have good long conversations over night-caps till the wee hours of the morning. I miss all that stuff.
And I mean it all had to go down this way because otherwise I never would've learned that I could be self sufficient and make it on my own. And it has been a solid way to curtail my wicky-wicky wile wild ways. BUT I'm ok now. And I wanna go out and do new shit. I get bored easily. And when I get bored I become a shell and bein' a shell is no fun atall.
So here's hopin' to another stellar summer. Last year was pretty damn good all things considered. But I want this one to be even better. Summer is the time when you go out and chase things. Whether you believe you can catch 'em or not. The pursuit is the fun part. Summer is 'sposed to be fun. I'm not havin' enough fun and that's gotta change.
Welp I hope all you EL-ARs are enjoyin' the influx of journal posts as of late. I think writin' in here helps me get all the shit that's in my head into words I can see and actually process. So it's therapeutic in a way.
Time to finish up this work business and go home and catch some Z's. Lookin' like it'll be a nice ass day today. Perfect for a little roundball. WOOOO!
I dunno if it mattered much to her. But it's just one of those oddball little things that matters more to me than it probably should.
I hate when people don't hold doors for people. Or when they call girls "females". The door thing is just a common courtesy. I have no clue what my deal with with the word females derives from. I guess it just sounds weird in my head. Not quite disrespectful yet it doesn't really encapsulate what girls are in my in my brain. Speakin' of that, what age am I 'sposed to stop callin' them girls and start callin' them women? Is a girl a girl till she's like 30? 40? I like to call them girls. It sounds more innocent.
Woman? I don't think I've ever slept, dated, or hell even chased a woman before. Not in my head at least. With a woman it just seems so MA-TOUR and committed. I suck at committing to things.
Case in point, I'm 28 years old and never once been a legal tenant. I just kinda always scooted in under friend's leases and just paid them whatever. Never had a power bill in my name. Or a cable bill. Or any bill really other than a cell phone when I was far to ill-equipped to actually have one in my dumbass early 20's.
I just have a hard time committing. I always like to keep my options open. Which is just code for I prefer to always have one foot out the door. An escape plan. Exit strategy. Whatever you wanna call it.
I want to commit to something though. I'm gonna start by gettin' my own apartment here in a month and a half. And then what? A gym membership? Maybe a credit card? A real girlfriend? Who knows. It's kinda scary to me. I'm not scared really of much of anything, but committing to something freaks me out. It always has. I reckon I might as well give it a whirl though. What's that sayin'? If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.
That makes a little more sense at this stage in the game than it did when I first heard it.
I think I'm gonna ask for next Saturday night off. I was wanderin' about the Queen's City today enjoyin' the lovely day. But I couldn't truly enjoy it because all I could think about was that I'd hafta go to work at 11. And then once that time came it was a PERFECT night. The sky had those whacky clouds that are accentuated by the glow of the full moon. And it reminded me of home. Where I spent Lord knows how many hours just lookin' at the sky. It made me wanna have a bonfire. And drink some beer and laugh at stupid stories.
I just want a Saturday night where I can go out and enjoy my damn city for a change. Goin' out durin' the week is lame because everybody's done by midnight. And midnight is just when I get good and ready to go. I'm better after the sun goes down.
I miss PTPT on Saturday nights. Where you start out doin' something that doesn't seem all that excitin' initially then next thing you know it's past 3am and you've been havin' the time of your life and you don't want the night to end. I miss those. Most of my Saturday nights since I've been here have been spent sittin' here on my ass in this very hotel. And while I appreciate the monies and don't wholly despise my jobbie. I'm becomin' more and more disenfranchised with this whole "ALWAYS Here on Friday and Saturday nights deal" It kinda sucks dude.
So I've been voicin' my concerns to my bosses over the past couple of weeks. And they said once somebody else was trained on this shift then I could start havin' some weekends to do stuff. On June 26 I will have been here two years! TWO years is a long ass time for me to be ANYWHERE! Let alone at one jobbie. I've worked very hard. I haven't called in one single time. I've covered countless shifts on short notices. Yet somehow I'm the second longest tenured front desk person here and I'm the ONLY person in front desk land that works all three shifts. Sometimes I work three different shifts all in one week.
I just want to feel like my hard work is worth it ya know? And the bosses said we'd talk at my two year mark and hopefully I'm due a raise and don't hafta do this night audit on the weekends crap anymore. I wanna get out and live man. Find a girl. Meet new and interesting people. Bust up comfort zones and have good long conversations over night-caps till the wee hours of the morning. I miss all that stuff.
And I mean it all had to go down this way because otherwise I never would've learned that I could be self sufficient and make it on my own. And it has been a solid way to curtail my wicky-wicky wile wild ways. BUT I'm ok now. And I wanna go out and do new shit. I get bored easily. And when I get bored I become a shell and bein' a shell is no fun atall.
So here's hopin' to another stellar summer. Last year was pretty damn good all things considered. But I want this one to be even better. Summer is the time when you go out and chase things. Whether you believe you can catch 'em or not. The pursuit is the fun part. Summer is 'sposed to be fun. I'm not havin' enough fun and that's gotta change.
Welp I hope all you EL-ARs are enjoyin' the influx of journal posts as of late. I think writin' in here helps me get all the shit that's in my head into words I can see and actually process. So it's therapeutic in a way.
Time to finish up this work business and go home and catch some Z's. Lookin' like it'll be a nice ass day today. Perfect for a little roundball. WOOOO!