Losing Hope
Titel: Losing Hope
Characters: Nichkhun, Wooyoung
Genre: Romance, Angst
PG: 13+
Warning: Maybe a bit overdramatic? Oh, and fluffy like a sheep :D
Summery: Nichkhun ignores, Junsu comforts, Wooyoung
loses hope and Junho doesen't know what's going on...
I do not own Nichkhun or Wooyoung nor one of the
other persons. They belong just to themselves ^^
He was doing it again. He ignored him during almost the whole concert, sticking to Junho all the time. Wooyoung tried to distract himself and played dorky. But even he, himself knew that his grin looked faked.
Nichkhun didn’t even look at him and he touched Junho almost every second. Wooyoung told himself that it was just fan service, but then again… Khunyoung was an act as well. Just not for the younger. Every success, every crisis he experienced together with the Thai has made him fall in love.
Deeper and deeper, until there was no comeback.
He didn’t want Nichkhun to know, so he played his own act, pretending that everything was alright. He was happy to have Nichkhun as his best friend; it was enough, it had to be.
But even their friendship seemed to fade. Nichkhun recently started to hang out with Junho, more than with Wooyoung. It wasn’t that bad in the beginning, but then the Thai started to completely ignore him when the Rain double was around. Sure, it wasn’t fair to be angry at Junho for being close to Nichkhun. Their hyung was a person, you feel automatically drawn to, after all. And still, Wooyoung started to hate Junho for stealing his best friend.
Childish things like glaring at his dongsaeng for nothing satisfied him for a short moment. He even went far enough to shout at Junho, for being, how much, five seconds too late for their shooting? Junho didn’t know what he did wrong to Wooyoung, but whenever he tried to ask him what happened, the older would just walk away, without saying anything.
After a week, Wooyoung started to rather hate himself, for being mean to his brother and for being stupid enough to fall in love with ‘the Thai Prince’. When Junho eventually apologized to Wooyoung, even though he didn’t actually know why, Wooyoung couldn’t take it anymore. He hugged his younger friend and apologized as well, for being mean, glaring at him, shouting at him and finally for not being able to explain why he behaved like a jerk.
But Junho just wrapped his arms around him and hugged him back, saying it was alright, he didn’t have to push himself. “I’m just happy, you aren’t angry at me anymore.” He said. Wooyoung was grateful for that; he couldn’t really hate his dongsaeng after all.
---
Nevertheless he felt bad, no awful right now, seeing Nichkhun once again wrapping his arms around Junho, hearing the screaming of their fans, who enjoyed this little act. He felt tears burning in his eyes and quickly said something randomly stupid to distract himself. But this time it didn’t help; in the contrary, he felt his already cracked heart, break even more, because even now, when everyone else looked at him, dumbfounded over his comment, Nichkhun’s eyes were still attached to Junho’s face.
Wooyoung squeezed his eyes shut when he saw the Thai lifting his hand, to brush off some sweat from Junho’s forehead. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Junsu, who eyed him worryingly.
“Are you alright?” he whispered.
Wooyoung tried his best to show an honest smile, “Yes, I’m fine. Just a headache.”, but he was pretty sure that he failed, because Junsu didn’t look convinced at all.
“I want to talk to you after the show.” The oldest member said and quickly flashed a smile when he saw a camera coming their way. “Understood?”
The younger nodded nervously. Did his act bust? He wasn’t sure.
The next few minutes he did his best to behave normally, when, all of a sudden, Nichkhun stood beside him.
“Junsu said you have a headache.” He whispered, sounding worried. “Are you alright?” Wooyoung didn’t look at him; he knew if he did look now, he would probably break. “Wooyoung?” Nichkhun tried to take his hand, but he quickly pulled back and went to Chansung, acting as if he didn’t notice the Thai at all. The maknae immediately flashed a grin at him and put his arm around his shoulder. Thankful, for the warm feeling that floated through his body, whenever he was with Chansung, Wooyoung rested his head on his shoulder. His youngest brother was like a personal sun.
Wooyoung didn’t see the sad glance that Nichkhun send him.
---
After the show, they exited through the stage’s back and made their way to their locker room. Wooyoung was walking at the end of the line, a bit apart from the others. He was too busy watching his shoes to notice that Nichkhun detached himself from the group to join him.
“Wooyoung, what…” he stopped himself when he saw how Wooyoung tensed, looking up to him with widened eyes. A single teardrop ran down his cheek. Nichkhun’s eyes widened as well and he lifted one hand to brush the tear away. “Wooyoung…”
“I’m sorry.” The younger interrupted. “I… I have to go to Junsu hyung.” He added and almost ran to the front of the line where the oldest was. When everyone else was in the dressing room, the two of them waited for Nichkhun, who made an attempt to talk to Wooyoung again, but this time Junsu was he one to interrupt him.
He wrapped an arm around the younger’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry, Nichkhun, but could you please wait? I have to talk to Wooyoung for a minute.” He said with a smile, but in an ‘I’m your hyung so you have to listen to me’ - voice. The Thai seemed to hesitate, but then he gritted his teeth and went through the door.
---
Junsu turned around and gestured Wooyoung to follow him. He went into an empty shooting room and closed the door behind them. “So… Could you please tell me what happened. You weren’t yourself lately…” he started, but stopped when he heard a thud from behind. When he turned around, he saw that Wooyoung had collapsed onto his knees, face buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking slightly. “Shit.” Junsu quickly sank down next to him, pulling him into a tight hug.
“I hate it, hyung. I hate him, I hate myself, I just hate everything.” The younger sobbed. “I don’t want to be like this.” He buried his face in the elder’s chest, who just pulled him even closer.
“Shh… You can tell me everything, but first you need to relax.” Junsu said, slowly stroking his dongsaeng’s hair.
After calming down, Wooyoung relaxed even more into his arms, cuddling up to him and sighed. “Thank you.” He whispered softly.
“You’re welcome.” Junsu chuckled slightly, but then lifted Wooyoung’s head a bit, to look at his face. “But, Woo, you know you can tell me everything. Your different behaviour recently; it’s because of Nichkhun, right?” he asked.
Wooyoung nodded slowly, his gaze pinned to the wall above Junsu’s right shoulder. “I love him hyung. I really do. But he already seems to get tired of me.” He smiled sadly. “I’m just the awkward kid from Busan, after all.”
“Yah! Don’t say something like that.” Junsu pinched his cheek painfully. “Why do you even think, he’s getting tired of you?”
“Well, didn’t you notice?” Wooyoung asked, rubbing his reddening cheek. “He’s always with Junho recently. He completely ignored me during the whole concert. He always does that when Junho is around. I think he really likes Junho.”
Junsu gulped. ”Well, I hope not, since Junho’s my boyfriend.” He muttered
“… what?” Wooyoung looked at him with wide eyes. “Your… boyfriend?”
“Did I just say that out loud?” The younger nodded and Junsu sighed. “Damn. But, yes, he’s my boyfriend.” He admitted.
“Then why aren’t you even jealous when you see them together like this?” Wooyoung was confused.
“Of course I am! I could kill Nichkhun for every touch. But I know that Junho loves me. He wouldn’t betray me.” Junsu looked really convinced that it was the truth. He trusted Junho.
“How can you be so sure?” The younger asked helplessly.
“Look, I was really afraid at the beginning of our relationship. But I know Junho.” He pulled Wooyoung into a hug, again. “And I know Nichkhun, Wooyoung. I don’t think he’s…”
In this moment the door slammed open and revealed a furious looking Thai. When he saw their position, he knitted his eyebrows together.
“Yah! Kim Junsu, hands off or I’ll kill you right now.” he shouted in English, causing Junsu to sweat drop. No one wanted to deal with an angry Nichkhun.
At least no one, except Jang Wooyoung, apparently.
“Hyung!” The younger stood up and looked at him, not less mad. “Don’t speak to him like this.” He positioned himself between Junsu, who stood up as well, and the Thai.
“Oh, so you’re protecting him now, yes? To me, you won’t even talk.” the older snapped, talking in Korean now.
“What the hell? Are you even listening to what you say?” Wooyoung asked, but Nichkhun didn’t even try to calm down, instead he went a step further.
“I was wondering what he wanted to do with you, alone.” He sneered. “So he just wanted to get his hands on you.”
SMACK!
Nichkhun put his hand on his slowly reddening cheek, eyes widening as he looked at Wooyoung, whose hand was still lifted a bit.
“How dare you?” he growled. “Even if he wanted to ‘get his hands on me’, it wouldn’t be your business.” He almost spit the words out. “But unfortunately for you, he’s already Junho’s boyfriend. So think twice before you insult him again.” Wooyoung turned to Junsu, who quietly watched the scene. “I’ll go change, hyung. We can continue our talk in the dorm.” He said and went past Nichkhun to the door.
“Wooyoung…” The Thai wanted to grab his wrist, but was shaken off.
“Don’t touch me.” Wooyoung hissed and exited the room.
Nichkhun ruffled his hair and sighed. “I really screwed that up, didn’t I?” he asked when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
”Yes, you did.” There was no pity in the words. Just a simple fact. Although he knew that Nichkhun didn’t actually mean what he said, he was still a bit offended by his harsh words.
“I’m sorry, hyung. For shouting like this even though I know about you and Junho.” The Thai closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I just freaked out. First he ignored me, and then I see him with you…”
“Well, you can’t blame him.” Junsu said sharply. He liked Nichkhun, but seeing Wooyoung so desperate made him angry.
“What do you mean?” the younger asked confused.
“He thinks that you are tired of him and lately even that you are in love with my boyfriend.” Junsu explained.
The Thai looked at him disbelieving and then groaned. “He thinks I am in love with Junho? Why the hell’s that?”
Junsu raised his eyebrows. “You did act overly friendly with him lately.”
“But that was because JYP told us our fans wanted to see some KhunHo.” Nichkhun stated exasperated. “He should know it was just fan service.”
“Nichkhun, Khunyoung is fan service as well, you know?” Junsu reminded him.
“It’s not to me…”
“And how is he supposed to know that?” Junsu sighed. “You didn’t actually walk around with a shield saying ‘I’m in love with Jang Wooyoung’. And he’s right. You did ignore him these past months.”
Nichkhun’s shoulders slumped. “I tried to give him breathing space.” He admitted.
Although he knew the Thai was a mess at the moment, Junsu snorted at the comment. “Well, he breaths as freely as a bird now.” At the defeated look he received, he sighed again. “You know, instead of talking to me you should clear it up with him. It sure as hell won’t be easy.”
“I know.”
---
When they entered the locker room, they were told that Wooyoung went ahead, saying that he needed a walk. So Nichkhun had to wait until they were back in their dorm house. But he didn’t consider that Wooyoung would avoid him like the plague.
Every time he tried to talk to him, the younger ignored him and just went to another band member. Nichkhun almost lost his hope, but then he got an idea - he had a room for himself after all. A smirk appeared on his face.
The Thai waited until it was night and he was sure everyone else was asleep. He then tiptoed to the living room where Chansung and Wooyoung slept. He went to the smaller frame and put his hand over Wooyoung’s mouth.
His eyes shot open, but he relaxed when he saw Nichkhun. The older flashed him a grin that caused Wooyoung to frown. He then pulled him up in one go. The younger widened his eyes, but Nichkhun still had his hand pressed against his mouth, so no sound escaped his lips. Then the Thai half dragged, half carried him into his room, closing and locking the door, before turning around to Wooyoung, with a victorious smile.
“What the hell are you doing?” The younger hissed quietly, not wanting to wake the others up.
“I’m trying to talk to you.” The Thai answered “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You didn’t really leave me a choice.” He went to Wooyoung and sat down next to him, gripping his arm when he tried to stand up. “Let’s talk.” He then demanded.
“About what?” The other hissed, trying to free himself.
“About us.” Nichkhun took him by his shoulder, turning his body to face his own.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Wooyoung pinned his gaze on the elder’s blanket. “There is no ‘us’.”
“There is.” Nichkhun started to get frustrated. “Wooyoung look at me.” He grabbed his chin with one hand, lifting his head. “Look into my eyes and tell me, there is nothing between us.”
“It’s just fan service, hyung.” Wooyoung said coldly, but his eyes were still focused on the blanket.
“It’s not!” The Thai desperately shook him. “Wooyoung, please. Don’t be like this.”
“What do you except from me? Now that you know that Junho is already taken, you want me as a replacement?” This time Wooyoung looked fully into his eyes. “Am I suddenly good enough?” Nichkhun could see the pain in his eyes - and the anger.
“I am not in love with Junho!” The older stood up and went through the room, ruffling his hair. “I know that he’s Junsu’s boyfriend since the day they started going out, damn it.” He turned around again and looked at Wooyoung, who just sat silently, looking at the bed. “That’s fan service, just an act. The coordinators of the concert asked us to do that. We were just acting, Wooyoung.” He desperately said, returning to Wooyoung and kneeling down in front of him. “Why don’t you believe me?”
Wooyoung was silent for a moment, but then he looked at Nichkhun. “You’ve been avoiding me. You ignored me for a damn month, how can I believe you?” Unshed tears burned in his eyes, but he still looked angry at the Thai. “I thought you hate me.” He whispered, roughly brushing off drops that escaped.
Nichkhun couldn’t take it anymore; he pulled Wooyoung down into a hug, tightly pressing their bodies together. “How could I ever hate you when you are the most important person in my life?” Wooyoung’s heart started racing. Did he just hear that right? Could it be possible? “I’m serious; you’re my everything, Wooyoung.” The Thai said, as if he heard his thoughts.
“But… why… Junho?” Wooyoung couldn’t think straight. Did he understand everything wrong? “Why did you ignore me then?” he asked frowning, finally forming a whole sentence.
“I’m sorry, I’ll explain it to you.” Nichkhun pulled back a bit, but let his hands rest on the younger’s shoulders. “Junho is easy: JYP and the concert staff told us we should do some KhunHo, so it was all just an act. Do you believe me that now?” he asked, slowly stroking over the younger’s hair.
“Yes.” Wooyoung said it without thinking, but it was true. He believed Nichkhun.
“Good. The next isn’t so easy to explain, though. I… I didn’t mean to avoid you and I definitely could never ignore you. Maybe even that’s the reason for my behaviour. I mean, I…” The older stopped and bit his lips. “I like you, Wooyoung. I always notice you. You are the first person, I think about when I wake up, you are the first person I want to see, you are the person that I dream about.” He smiled weakly. “You see, it would be impossible for me to ignore you.”
Wooyoung was too surprised to say something. He just looked blankly at Nichkhun’s face. He never even imagined him saying something like that, because he always thought he was the only one, who felt like this. He never noticed Nichkhun looking at him often or anything.
“I kind of started avoiding you, because I needed to deal with my feelings.“ Nichkhun continued. “I didn’t know what it meant, when I dreamed about you, when my eyes naturally looked around a room to find you. I needed some time for myself. And on the other hand I didn’t want to suffocate you with attention, before I could explain it to you.”
“You could have told me.” Wooyoung’s tears have stopped. He was sad that Nichkhun didn’t trust him enough to tell him his feelings. But then again, he didn’t tell the Thai what he felt either. “You scarred me. I thought you are tired of me.”
Nichkhun pulled him into another hug, snuggling his face into his neck. “Never.” He whispered and looked into Wooyoung’s eyes. Slowly he leaned forward until his lips captured Wooyoung’s into a soft kiss. The younger’s eyes widened, caught off guard, but then he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Nichkhun’s neck.
“I love you, Wooyoung.”
Characters: Nichkhun, Wooyoung
Genre: Romance, Angst
PG: 13+
Warning: Maybe a bit overdramatic? Oh, and fluffy like a sheep :D
Summery: Nichkhun ignores, Junsu comforts, Wooyoung
loses hope and Junho doesen't know what's going on...
I do not own Nichkhun or Wooyoung nor one of the
other persons. They belong just to themselves ^^
He was doing it again. He ignored him during almost the whole concert, sticking to Junho all the time. Wooyoung tried to distract himself and played dorky. But even he, himself knew that his grin looked faked.
Nichkhun didn’t even look at him and he touched Junho almost every second. Wooyoung told himself that it was just fan service, but then again… Khunyoung was an act as well. Just not for the younger. Every success, every crisis he experienced together with the Thai has made him fall in love.
Deeper and deeper, until there was no comeback.
He didn’t want Nichkhun to know, so he played his own act, pretending that everything was alright. He was happy to have Nichkhun as his best friend; it was enough, it had to be.
But even their friendship seemed to fade. Nichkhun recently started to hang out with Junho, more than with Wooyoung. It wasn’t that bad in the beginning, but then the Thai started to completely ignore him when the Rain double was around. Sure, it wasn’t fair to be angry at Junho for being close to Nichkhun. Their hyung was a person, you feel automatically drawn to, after all. And still, Wooyoung started to hate Junho for stealing his best friend.
Childish things like glaring at his dongsaeng for nothing satisfied him for a short moment. He even went far enough to shout at Junho, for being, how much, five seconds too late for their shooting? Junho didn’t know what he did wrong to Wooyoung, but whenever he tried to ask him what happened, the older would just walk away, without saying anything.
After a week, Wooyoung started to rather hate himself, for being mean to his brother and for being stupid enough to fall in love with ‘the Thai Prince’. When Junho eventually apologized to Wooyoung, even though he didn’t actually know why, Wooyoung couldn’t take it anymore. He hugged his younger friend and apologized as well, for being mean, glaring at him, shouting at him and finally for not being able to explain why he behaved like a jerk.
But Junho just wrapped his arms around him and hugged him back, saying it was alright, he didn’t have to push himself. “I’m just happy, you aren’t angry at me anymore.” He said. Wooyoung was grateful for that; he couldn’t really hate his dongsaeng after all.
---
Nevertheless he felt bad, no awful right now, seeing Nichkhun once again wrapping his arms around Junho, hearing the screaming of their fans, who enjoyed this little act. He felt tears burning in his eyes and quickly said something randomly stupid to distract himself. But this time it didn’t help; in the contrary, he felt his already cracked heart, break even more, because even now, when everyone else looked at him, dumbfounded over his comment, Nichkhun’s eyes were still attached to Junho’s face.
Wooyoung squeezed his eyes shut when he saw the Thai lifting his hand, to brush off some sweat from Junho’s forehead. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Junsu, who eyed him worryingly.
“Are you alright?” he whispered.
Wooyoung tried his best to show an honest smile, “Yes, I’m fine. Just a headache.”, but he was pretty sure that he failed, because Junsu didn’t look convinced at all.
“I want to talk to you after the show.” The oldest member said and quickly flashed a smile when he saw a camera coming their way. “Understood?”
The younger nodded nervously. Did his act bust? He wasn’t sure.
The next few minutes he did his best to behave normally, when, all of a sudden, Nichkhun stood beside him.
“Junsu said you have a headache.” He whispered, sounding worried. “Are you alright?” Wooyoung didn’t look at him; he knew if he did look now, he would probably break. “Wooyoung?” Nichkhun tried to take his hand, but he quickly pulled back and went to Chansung, acting as if he didn’t notice the Thai at all. The maknae immediately flashed a grin at him and put his arm around his shoulder. Thankful, for the warm feeling that floated through his body, whenever he was with Chansung, Wooyoung rested his head on his shoulder. His youngest brother was like a personal sun.
Wooyoung didn’t see the sad glance that Nichkhun send him.
---
After the show, they exited through the stage’s back and made their way to their locker room. Wooyoung was walking at the end of the line, a bit apart from the others. He was too busy watching his shoes to notice that Nichkhun detached himself from the group to join him.
“Wooyoung, what…” he stopped himself when he saw how Wooyoung tensed, looking up to him with widened eyes. A single teardrop ran down his cheek. Nichkhun’s eyes widened as well and he lifted one hand to brush the tear away. “Wooyoung…”
“I’m sorry.” The younger interrupted. “I… I have to go to Junsu hyung.” He added and almost ran to the front of the line where the oldest was. When everyone else was in the dressing room, the two of them waited for Nichkhun, who made an attempt to talk to Wooyoung again, but this time Junsu was he one to interrupt him.
He wrapped an arm around the younger’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry, Nichkhun, but could you please wait? I have to talk to Wooyoung for a minute.” He said with a smile, but in an ‘I’m your hyung so you have to listen to me’ - voice. The Thai seemed to hesitate, but then he gritted his teeth and went through the door.
---
Junsu turned around and gestured Wooyoung to follow him. He went into an empty shooting room and closed the door behind them. “So… Could you please tell me what happened. You weren’t yourself lately…” he started, but stopped when he heard a thud from behind. When he turned around, he saw that Wooyoung had collapsed onto his knees, face buried in his hands. His shoulders were shaking slightly. “Shit.” Junsu quickly sank down next to him, pulling him into a tight hug.
“I hate it, hyung. I hate him, I hate myself, I just hate everything.” The younger sobbed. “I don’t want to be like this.” He buried his face in the elder’s chest, who just pulled him even closer.
“Shh… You can tell me everything, but first you need to relax.” Junsu said, slowly stroking his dongsaeng’s hair.
After calming down, Wooyoung relaxed even more into his arms, cuddling up to him and sighed. “Thank you.” He whispered softly.
“You’re welcome.” Junsu chuckled slightly, but then lifted Wooyoung’s head a bit, to look at his face. “But, Woo, you know you can tell me everything. Your different behaviour recently; it’s because of Nichkhun, right?” he asked.
Wooyoung nodded slowly, his gaze pinned to the wall above Junsu’s right shoulder. “I love him hyung. I really do. But he already seems to get tired of me.” He smiled sadly. “I’m just the awkward kid from Busan, after all.”
“Yah! Don’t say something like that.” Junsu pinched his cheek painfully. “Why do you even think, he’s getting tired of you?”
“Well, didn’t you notice?” Wooyoung asked, rubbing his reddening cheek. “He’s always with Junho recently. He completely ignored me during the whole concert. He always does that when Junho is around. I think he really likes Junho.”
Junsu gulped. ”Well, I hope not, since Junho’s my boyfriend.” He muttered
“… what?” Wooyoung looked at him with wide eyes. “Your… boyfriend?”
“Did I just say that out loud?” The younger nodded and Junsu sighed. “Damn. But, yes, he’s my boyfriend.” He admitted.
“Then why aren’t you even jealous when you see them together like this?” Wooyoung was confused.
“Of course I am! I could kill Nichkhun for every touch. But I know that Junho loves me. He wouldn’t betray me.” Junsu looked really convinced that it was the truth. He trusted Junho.
“How can you be so sure?” The younger asked helplessly.
“Look, I was really afraid at the beginning of our relationship. But I know Junho.” He pulled Wooyoung into a hug, again. “And I know Nichkhun, Wooyoung. I don’t think he’s…”
In this moment the door slammed open and revealed a furious looking Thai. When he saw their position, he knitted his eyebrows together.
“Yah! Kim Junsu, hands off or I’ll kill you right now.” he shouted in English, causing Junsu to sweat drop. No one wanted to deal with an angry Nichkhun.
At least no one, except Jang Wooyoung, apparently.
“Hyung!” The younger stood up and looked at him, not less mad. “Don’t speak to him like this.” He positioned himself between Junsu, who stood up as well, and the Thai.
“Oh, so you’re protecting him now, yes? To me, you won’t even talk.” the older snapped, talking in Korean now.
“What the hell? Are you even listening to what you say?” Wooyoung asked, but Nichkhun didn’t even try to calm down, instead he went a step further.
“I was wondering what he wanted to do with you, alone.” He sneered. “So he just wanted to get his hands on you.”
SMACK!
Nichkhun put his hand on his slowly reddening cheek, eyes widening as he looked at Wooyoung, whose hand was still lifted a bit.
“How dare you?” he growled. “Even if he wanted to ‘get his hands on me’, it wouldn’t be your business.” He almost spit the words out. “But unfortunately for you, he’s already Junho’s boyfriend. So think twice before you insult him again.” Wooyoung turned to Junsu, who quietly watched the scene. “I’ll go change, hyung. We can continue our talk in the dorm.” He said and went past Nichkhun to the door.
“Wooyoung…” The Thai wanted to grab his wrist, but was shaken off.
“Don’t touch me.” Wooyoung hissed and exited the room.
Nichkhun ruffled his hair and sighed. “I really screwed that up, didn’t I?” he asked when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
”Yes, you did.” There was no pity in the words. Just a simple fact. Although he knew that Nichkhun didn’t actually mean what he said, he was still a bit offended by his harsh words.
“I’m sorry, hyung. For shouting like this even though I know about you and Junho.” The Thai closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I just freaked out. First he ignored me, and then I see him with you…”
“Well, you can’t blame him.” Junsu said sharply. He liked Nichkhun, but seeing Wooyoung so desperate made him angry.
“What do you mean?” the younger asked confused.
“He thinks that you are tired of him and lately even that you are in love with my boyfriend.” Junsu explained.
The Thai looked at him disbelieving and then groaned. “He thinks I am in love with Junho? Why the hell’s that?”
Junsu raised his eyebrows. “You did act overly friendly with him lately.”
“But that was because JYP told us our fans wanted to see some KhunHo.” Nichkhun stated exasperated. “He should know it was just fan service.”
“Nichkhun, Khunyoung is fan service as well, you know?” Junsu reminded him.
“It’s not to me…”
“And how is he supposed to know that?” Junsu sighed. “You didn’t actually walk around with a shield saying ‘I’m in love with Jang Wooyoung’. And he’s right. You did ignore him these past months.”
Nichkhun’s shoulders slumped. “I tried to give him breathing space.” He admitted.
Although he knew the Thai was a mess at the moment, Junsu snorted at the comment. “Well, he breaths as freely as a bird now.” At the defeated look he received, he sighed again. “You know, instead of talking to me you should clear it up with him. It sure as hell won’t be easy.”
“I know.”
---
When they entered the locker room, they were told that Wooyoung went ahead, saying that he needed a walk. So Nichkhun had to wait until they were back in their dorm house. But he didn’t consider that Wooyoung would avoid him like the plague.
Every time he tried to talk to him, the younger ignored him and just went to another band member. Nichkhun almost lost his hope, but then he got an idea - he had a room for himself after all. A smirk appeared on his face.
The Thai waited until it was night and he was sure everyone else was asleep. He then tiptoed to the living room where Chansung and Wooyoung slept. He went to the smaller frame and put his hand over Wooyoung’s mouth.
His eyes shot open, but he relaxed when he saw Nichkhun. The older flashed him a grin that caused Wooyoung to frown. He then pulled him up in one go. The younger widened his eyes, but Nichkhun still had his hand pressed against his mouth, so no sound escaped his lips. Then the Thai half dragged, half carried him into his room, closing and locking the door, before turning around to Wooyoung, with a victorious smile.
“What the hell are you doing?” The younger hissed quietly, not wanting to wake the others up.
“I’m trying to talk to you.” The Thai answered “Oh, don’t look at me like that. You didn’t really leave me a choice.” He went to Wooyoung and sat down next to him, gripping his arm when he tried to stand up. “Let’s talk.” He then demanded.
“About what?” The other hissed, trying to free himself.
“About us.” Nichkhun took him by his shoulder, turning his body to face his own.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Wooyoung pinned his gaze on the elder’s blanket. “There is no ‘us’.”
“There is.” Nichkhun started to get frustrated. “Wooyoung look at me.” He grabbed his chin with one hand, lifting his head. “Look into my eyes and tell me, there is nothing between us.”
“It’s just fan service, hyung.” Wooyoung said coldly, but his eyes were still focused on the blanket.
“It’s not!” The Thai desperately shook him. “Wooyoung, please. Don’t be like this.”
“What do you except from me? Now that you know that Junho is already taken, you want me as a replacement?” This time Wooyoung looked fully into his eyes. “Am I suddenly good enough?” Nichkhun could see the pain in his eyes - and the anger.
“I am not in love with Junho!” The older stood up and went through the room, ruffling his hair. “I know that he’s Junsu’s boyfriend since the day they started going out, damn it.” He turned around again and looked at Wooyoung, who just sat silently, looking at the bed. “That’s fan service, just an act. The coordinators of the concert asked us to do that. We were just acting, Wooyoung.” He desperately said, returning to Wooyoung and kneeling down in front of him. “Why don’t you believe me?”
Wooyoung was silent for a moment, but then he looked at Nichkhun. “You’ve been avoiding me. You ignored me for a damn month, how can I believe you?” Unshed tears burned in his eyes, but he still looked angry at the Thai. “I thought you hate me.” He whispered, roughly brushing off drops that escaped.
Nichkhun couldn’t take it anymore; he pulled Wooyoung down into a hug, tightly pressing their bodies together. “How could I ever hate you when you are the most important person in my life?” Wooyoung’s heart started racing. Did he just hear that right? Could it be possible? “I’m serious; you’re my everything, Wooyoung.” The Thai said, as if he heard his thoughts.
“But… why… Junho?” Wooyoung couldn’t think straight. Did he understand everything wrong? “Why did you ignore me then?” he asked frowning, finally forming a whole sentence.
“I’m sorry, I’ll explain it to you.” Nichkhun pulled back a bit, but let his hands rest on the younger’s shoulders. “Junho is easy: JYP and the concert staff told us we should do some KhunHo, so it was all just an act. Do you believe me that now?” he asked, slowly stroking over the younger’s hair.
“Yes.” Wooyoung said it without thinking, but it was true. He believed Nichkhun.
“Good. The next isn’t so easy to explain, though. I… I didn’t mean to avoid you and I definitely could never ignore you. Maybe even that’s the reason for my behaviour. I mean, I…” The older stopped and bit his lips. “I like you, Wooyoung. I always notice you. You are the first person, I think about when I wake up, you are the first person I want to see, you are the person that I dream about.” He smiled weakly. “You see, it would be impossible for me to ignore you.”
Wooyoung was too surprised to say something. He just looked blankly at Nichkhun’s face. He never even imagined him saying something like that, because he always thought he was the only one, who felt like this. He never noticed Nichkhun looking at him often or anything.
“I kind of started avoiding you, because I needed to deal with my feelings.“ Nichkhun continued. “I didn’t know what it meant, when I dreamed about you, when my eyes naturally looked around a room to find you. I needed some time for myself. And on the other hand I didn’t want to suffocate you with attention, before I could explain it to you.”
“You could have told me.” Wooyoung’s tears have stopped. He was sad that Nichkhun didn’t trust him enough to tell him his feelings. But then again, he didn’t tell the Thai what he felt either. “You scarred me. I thought you are tired of me.”
Nichkhun pulled him into another hug, snuggling his face into his neck. “Never.” He whispered and looked into Wooyoung’s eyes. Slowly he leaned forward until his lips captured Wooyoung’s into a soft kiss. The younger’s eyes widened, caught off guard, but then he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Nichkhun’s neck.
“I love you, Wooyoung.”