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[brokensmile9]

well, talking to people tonight have made me realize how unhappy I've been lately. Not all the time, but, in general. (I'm sorry about the emo-ness Julie. I'm trying, I really am) It kinda brings everything to a head. Atleast with some people. And I don't know which way in the fork to take

Comments

[niceguyhobbit]

Bryan my man. I'm going to be as serious and emotional as I can right now given the limitations of our respective manlyness and the fact that we're semi naked together every other day.

Here, I wrote this to get into college, maybe it applies on some level
Self Examination
By Eric Lamont

Left unattended the mind begins to wander.
Thoughts come so slow,
Coming to a subject to ponder,
Sinking into cerebral quicksand below.

A question to ask.
An answer to seek.
Enlightenment is a self-appointed task.
One not suited for the meek.

Yet it’s so trite to be introspective.
Anyone can sit and stare
And think about what it is to live,
But is anything going on up there?

My confidence is shaken
By careful self examination
What if I am mistaken?
Questions met with questions and no explanation

As I sink into my own confusion
The simple answers are the ones I find
The turmoil of self is a fusion,
A swirl of heart and mind.

They parry and thrust,
Fighting for my reason to be.
Which one can I trust?
When both are as humanly flawed as the rest of me?

To develop myself today is my only choice.
Improve who I am and what I do,
So that I may one day hear my inner voice,
And my reason to be will come into view.

Moral of the story? Fuck if I know why I'm here, what to do in life, and how I should be happy. Life changes a lot, if you haven't noticed yet man. Just about everything and everyone you know will change over time, maybe for the better or for the worse. My un-requested advice? Find the stuff that doesn't change. Sure you'll still be lost in life, we all are. But at least you'll have a refrence point.

So, what doesn't change? Well that's up to you. I would suggest looking at some of your core beliefs and understandings of how life works. Those don't tend to change as easily and are one of the simplest ways to "know thyself"

But, what do I know? I'm a dork just as fucked up as you if not worse but so is everyone else man. You're not alone on this life thing. There are many paths to take, but you wont find many of them empty and devoid of help. What help I can be remains offered to you untill your path strays too far from mine.

Oh, and just to ensure that no one thinks i'm too sensitive and deep. Go watch boondock saints, have a steak and go kill something, ya fag.

[brokensmile9]

hahaha, mfg, i love you Eric. In the least sexual way possible. When did you write that? Because I swear I have read atleast part of it before, maybe way back in 10th grade science. Its an awesome poem, and I'm so turned on by how sensitive you are man. lol, thanx bro

[niceguyhobbit]

I wrote it earlier this year. The only time I can think of that you may have seen it was a few weeks ago Hargrave used the last stanza as a quote of the day.

[brokensmile9]

nah, i just remember some random poem you wrote about being deep, and how its BS sometiems. And I thought that was hilarious