Manly Request Week: Three of Hearts (FFIV, for Icca)
Title: Three of Hearts
Fandom: FFIV
Characters/Pairings included: Cecil, Kain, Rosa
Rating: K+
Warnings: I'm a drama queen.
Summary: A story in three parts. One longing, one running, and one resigned. Too close for jealousy; too far for comfort.
For icca. Written for Manly Request Week. Long, because the idea took off on me.
---
When Rosa'd gone missing, Cecil had felt himself drowning in fear and determination and courage: he'd fought his way through everything - Mount Ordeals included - to follow Golbez and get her back. It had been in those terms as well: get her back, as if his heart had known that Rosa was already his.
And now Kain was leaving.
He shouldn't have felt the same lurch in his heart he had when Rosa'd been taken. It shouldn't have been that much stronger. He shouldn't have been standing there in the balcony, watching his friend, and wanting to take two strong and solid steps across the stone floor and kiss Kain senseless - and wondering whether it would make a difference.
"I'm sorry, Cecil," Kain said, turning around; his face was dulled in sorrow and anger and some sort of shame Cecil couldn't recognize. "I can't stay here any more."
Cecil shook his head, words failing him as he tried to think of a way to make the dragoon stay. Everything that had crossed his mind made no sense, so in the end he said simply: "Kain, I need you."
Kain shook his head. "You'll be better off with me far from here."
"No, Kain," Cecil said, the pain throbbing in his heart like a dull ache. "You don't understand what I need. You're -"
"You don't understand," Kain interjected, his voice rough and broken. "I can't stand here and just watch..." His voice trailed off, full of emotion, and Cecil wondered what those things were that Kain wouldn't say.
"Kain, this friendship is..." But how could he say it? How could he tell the dragoon of all the times he'd watched him sidelong? All the times they'd rested around a fire and Cecil had wanted to reach over and touch him? He'd wanted to impress Kain for so long, even since they were children: he'd excelled at his training for Kain, he'd become a Dark Knight so that they could fight together. The results had made Rosa's eyes brighten, but Kain's eyes had darkened with jealousy. And still Cecil had wanted him.
It had been this draw that had convinced Cecil to let Kain back into their party - both times - with instant forgiveness: how could one condemn the man one loved?
"I..." The king couldn't find the words. "It's something more. Something special." Cecil started to pace somewhat, trying to collect his emotions.
"I know," Kain said softly, and now he sounded defeated. "And I can't stay here and ruin it."
Cecil stopped abruptly, his head snapping up; his heart was pounding now. Certainly there was no way that Kain felt the same way? But these emotions were so powerful, the pull to Kain's body almost irresistable; perhaps he did feel it as well?
Kain's head was hanging, his gaze on the courtyard below the balcony, details lost in the night for midnight blue and muggy haze. "I can't stay here and be jealous of you," Kain said softly, but vehemently. "I will learn to quench the - the feelings I have for - for her." He was struggling with the words already, lost in anguish, and Cecil turned away.
Kain sighed and clenched a fist. "I will not let my feelings control me." He turned to go; there was a pause, followed by soft footsteps. "Goodbye, Cecil."
Cecil remained, frozen, his eyes unseeing: Kain was leaving. His one chance to tell the dragoon how he really felt, what he really wanted - he could reach out and grab Kain's arm, pull him closer, show him - but:
Jealous of you. For Kain, it had always been Rosa.
He'd married Rosa because she would make a good Queen - a better Queen than he would a King - and he did love her, and had for most of his life. He knew he would be happy with her. But he'd never been drawn like he was to Kain - he'd never wanted anything quite like he wanted the dragoon.
Cecil's fingers clenched themselves around the guardrail forcefully as he attempted to quench the pain and agony once again: Kain was his best friend, and Rosa his wife, and this strange jealousy would do none of them any good and was not befitting of a King. Cecil, once again, would have to lock these feelings away, much as he had when he'd been but a Dark Knight and Kain a Baronian Dragoon in the King's service.
"I will not let my feelings control me," Cecil whispered into the evening, echoing the man he loved.
---
Within Baron Castle was mostly calm silence: the soft shuffles of servants and keepers making rounds and closing doors for the evening. Kain slipped through the archway and down the corridor, meaning to leave, but a soft rustle from behind stopped him.
His heart beat involuntarily as Rosa emerged from the shadows, pale light softening the cream of her gown and the shining gold of her hair. He glanced over his shoulder, where Cecil's shadow still fell slightly through the doorway, and then turned back to her. Even in the dark Rosa was a beacon of light in Kain's eyes.
"How much did you hear?" Kain whispered.
"Enough," Rosa replied, her voice a soft murmur of silk in the darkness. "How much did you hear, Kain?"
One eyebrow raised. "What do you mean?"
Rosa shook her head, almost exasperated, golden curls swinging back and forth; Kain longed to reach out, to brush them from her pale face before touching her lips. "He loves you, Kain," she said. "You cannot leave him."
Kain shook his head, distracted, the thoughts still buzzing around his head and the urge to reach out to Rosa, to pull her to him just once, was overwhelming - he took a step backwards. "I must, Rosa, for both of our sakes." For everyone's sake.
"You're not listening, Kain." Her voice took on a new urgency, an almost frustrated sort of push. "He loves you." She stepped forward, one soft footstep lost in the rustle of skirts. "If you leave, you're going to break his heart."
Kain turned away. How could he explain? Every moment around Cecil was painful, and not because of Cecil: because of Rosa, the delicate dancer between them. She was the blooming flower, the prize Cecil had won with his knighthood and his goodness. He knew he needed to get control of these feelings before it ruined the friendship completely, and that - that meant he had to get away. Distance was the only thing that would save him now.
"No, Rosa." He forced himself to take another step, enforcing the distance between them. "I must learn to control myself."
"Do you know what it's like," Rosa whispered into the darkness, "to watch someone always, to love them from afar, and not even have them around?"
The pain clenched around his heart as Kain whispered back: "Yes, Rosa. I do."
And then he was gone.
---
Rosa stood a moment longer, alone in the darkness, watching her husband's shadow on the balcony outside and hearing Kain's solid footsteps fade behind her.
She knew. She'd known of Cecil's feelings for Kain long before Cecil himself had acknowledged them; she'd seen the glances, heard the unsaid words. And she knew of Kain's feelings - he'd told her, in the Tower of Zot; he'd spat them into her face, almost threatening her with them as if shaking a sword over her head. She knew, and it was breaking her heart, because the man she loved could never be happy.
What tangled webs. Rosa bowed her head, hiding her face behind her curls.
Yes, she'd married Cecil anyway. She loved him. She'd loved him from the very beginning, his strength and determination, even if it hadn't been for her. She could lie awake at night and pretend it was, pretend that he had picked up the Dark Sword to impress her and not Kain. She'd always wondered if she could win his heart, just given the chance - and when the chance had come, when Cecil had asked her, she'd taken it.
She'd seen quickly that while Cecil was happy to make her happy, she'd never own that deepest part of his heart: the part that belonged to Kain.
Once she'd seen the truth - seen it in Cecil's eyes as he danced with her, felt it every time they made love - she knew she'd always only be second. Only Rosa. In moments of weakness she wondered whether she could learn to love Kain as he loved her, whether she could find happiness there; but no one controls their own heart.
What she found she wanted in the end was Cecil's happiness. And if she wasn't enough to provide it ...she had hoped he'd find it with the man he loved. The man who loved her. If Cecil knew, would he be jealous of her?
Rosa sighed and stepped out of the shadows, approaching her husband from behind, noting his utter frustration and agony as he clutched the balcony railing in anger. She would never tell him how much she knew. She'd only be there to hold him, and wipe his tears, and hopefully someday it would be enough.
Fandom: FFIV
Characters/Pairings included: Cecil, Kain, Rosa
Rating: K+
Warnings: I'm a drama queen.
Summary: A story in three parts. One longing, one running, and one resigned. Too close for jealousy; too far for comfort.
For icca. Written for Manly Request Week. Long, because the idea took off on me.
---
When Rosa'd gone missing, Cecil had felt himself drowning in fear and determination and courage: he'd fought his way through everything - Mount Ordeals included - to follow Golbez and get her back. It had been in those terms as well: get her back, as if his heart had known that Rosa was already his.
And now Kain was leaving.
He shouldn't have felt the same lurch in his heart he had when Rosa'd been taken. It shouldn't have been that much stronger. He shouldn't have been standing there in the balcony, watching his friend, and wanting to take two strong and solid steps across the stone floor and kiss Kain senseless - and wondering whether it would make a difference.
"I'm sorry, Cecil," Kain said, turning around; his face was dulled in sorrow and anger and some sort of shame Cecil couldn't recognize. "I can't stay here any more."
Cecil shook his head, words failing him as he tried to think of a way to make the dragoon stay. Everything that had crossed his mind made no sense, so in the end he said simply: "Kain, I need you."
Kain shook his head. "You'll be better off with me far from here."
"No, Kain," Cecil said, the pain throbbing in his heart like a dull ache. "You don't understand what I need. You're -"
"You don't understand," Kain interjected, his voice rough and broken. "I can't stand here and just watch..." His voice trailed off, full of emotion, and Cecil wondered what those things were that Kain wouldn't say.
"Kain, this friendship is..." But how could he say it? How could he tell the dragoon of all the times he'd watched him sidelong? All the times they'd rested around a fire and Cecil had wanted to reach over and touch him? He'd wanted to impress Kain for so long, even since they were children: he'd excelled at his training for Kain, he'd become a Dark Knight so that they could fight together. The results had made Rosa's eyes brighten, but Kain's eyes had darkened with jealousy. And still Cecil had wanted him.
It had been this draw that had convinced Cecil to let Kain back into their party - both times - with instant forgiveness: how could one condemn the man one loved?
"I..." The king couldn't find the words. "It's something more. Something special." Cecil started to pace somewhat, trying to collect his emotions.
"I know," Kain said softly, and now he sounded defeated. "And I can't stay here and ruin it."
Cecil stopped abruptly, his head snapping up; his heart was pounding now. Certainly there was no way that Kain felt the same way? But these emotions were so powerful, the pull to Kain's body almost irresistable; perhaps he did feel it as well?
Kain's head was hanging, his gaze on the courtyard below the balcony, details lost in the night for midnight blue and muggy haze. "I can't stay here and be jealous of you," Kain said softly, but vehemently. "I will learn to quench the - the feelings I have for - for her." He was struggling with the words already, lost in anguish, and Cecil turned away.
Kain sighed and clenched a fist. "I will not let my feelings control me." He turned to go; there was a pause, followed by soft footsteps. "Goodbye, Cecil."
Cecil remained, frozen, his eyes unseeing: Kain was leaving. His one chance to tell the dragoon how he really felt, what he really wanted - he could reach out and grab Kain's arm, pull him closer, show him - but:
Jealous of you. For Kain, it had always been Rosa.
He'd married Rosa because she would make a good Queen - a better Queen than he would a King - and he did love her, and had for most of his life. He knew he would be happy with her. But he'd never been drawn like he was to Kain - he'd never wanted anything quite like he wanted the dragoon.
Cecil's fingers clenched themselves around the guardrail forcefully as he attempted to quench the pain and agony once again: Kain was his best friend, and Rosa his wife, and this strange jealousy would do none of them any good and was not befitting of a King. Cecil, once again, would have to lock these feelings away, much as he had when he'd been but a Dark Knight and Kain a Baronian Dragoon in the King's service.
"I will not let my feelings control me," Cecil whispered into the evening, echoing the man he loved.
---
Within Baron Castle was mostly calm silence: the soft shuffles of servants and keepers making rounds and closing doors for the evening. Kain slipped through the archway and down the corridor, meaning to leave, but a soft rustle from behind stopped him.
His heart beat involuntarily as Rosa emerged from the shadows, pale light softening the cream of her gown and the shining gold of her hair. He glanced over his shoulder, where Cecil's shadow still fell slightly through the doorway, and then turned back to her. Even in the dark Rosa was a beacon of light in Kain's eyes.
"How much did you hear?" Kain whispered.
"Enough," Rosa replied, her voice a soft murmur of silk in the darkness. "How much did you hear, Kain?"
One eyebrow raised. "What do you mean?"
Rosa shook her head, almost exasperated, golden curls swinging back and forth; Kain longed to reach out, to brush them from her pale face before touching her lips. "He loves you, Kain," she said. "You cannot leave him."
Kain shook his head, distracted, the thoughts still buzzing around his head and the urge to reach out to Rosa, to pull her to him just once, was overwhelming - he took a step backwards. "I must, Rosa, for both of our sakes." For everyone's sake.
"You're not listening, Kain." Her voice took on a new urgency, an almost frustrated sort of push. "He loves you." She stepped forward, one soft footstep lost in the rustle of skirts. "If you leave, you're going to break his heart."
Kain turned away. How could he explain? Every moment around Cecil was painful, and not because of Cecil: because of Rosa, the delicate dancer between them. She was the blooming flower, the prize Cecil had won with his knighthood and his goodness. He knew he needed to get control of these feelings before it ruined the friendship completely, and that - that meant he had to get away. Distance was the only thing that would save him now.
"No, Rosa." He forced himself to take another step, enforcing the distance between them. "I must learn to control myself."
"Do you know what it's like," Rosa whispered into the darkness, "to watch someone always, to love them from afar, and not even have them around?"
The pain clenched around his heart as Kain whispered back: "Yes, Rosa. I do."
And then he was gone.
---
Rosa stood a moment longer, alone in the darkness, watching her husband's shadow on the balcony outside and hearing Kain's solid footsteps fade behind her.
She knew. She'd known of Cecil's feelings for Kain long before Cecil himself had acknowledged them; she'd seen the glances, heard the unsaid words. And she knew of Kain's feelings - he'd told her, in the Tower of Zot; he'd spat them into her face, almost threatening her with them as if shaking a sword over her head. She knew, and it was breaking her heart, because the man she loved could never be happy.
What tangled webs. Rosa bowed her head, hiding her face behind her curls.
Yes, she'd married Cecil anyway. She loved him. She'd loved him from the very beginning, his strength and determination, even if it hadn't been for her. She could lie awake at night and pretend it was, pretend that he had picked up the Dark Sword to impress her and not Kain. She'd always wondered if she could win his heart, just given the chance - and when the chance had come, when Cecil had asked her, she'd taken it.
She'd seen quickly that while Cecil was happy to make her happy, she'd never own that deepest part of his heart: the part that belonged to Kain.
Once she'd seen the truth - seen it in Cecil's eyes as he danced with her, felt it every time they made love - she knew she'd always only be second. Only Rosa. In moments of weakness she wondered whether she could learn to love Kain as he loved her, whether she could find happiness there; but no one controls their own heart.
What she found she wanted in the end was Cecil's happiness. And if she wasn't enough to provide it ...she had hoped he'd find it with the man he loved. The man who loved her. If Cecil knew, would he be jealous of her?
Rosa sighed and stepped out of the shadows, approaching her husband from behind, noting his utter frustration and agony as he clutched the balcony railing in anger. She would never tell him how much she knew. She'd only be there to hold him, and wipe his tears, and hopefully someday it would be enough.