(no subject)
people have asked for help from me for as long as i can remember. opinions, fine. but most of the time, i mean, real answer. they ask me what to do.
they do it at work, my old classmates, my friends, and those too close to call friends. they look to me.
"what do i do now?"
sometimes i want to just step back, ask them how i should know? but they still come. most of them say i'm usually/always right. they want me to help them in their lives.
i don't understand my own. and i don't have all the answers. when something pops up that i don't understand, i just bullshit my way through it. it's worked so far.
don't misunderstand, it thrills me that people like my judgements(usually). it's just that most of the time, i'm scared. i'm scared i'll make a bad call. i'm scared something that isn't my fault will come back at me, or that someone will say my name.
if i no longer speak to you, it's probably because i could give a rats ass if you died. some of them, yes, they'd be a fine party. and this also goes for those of you: i do not give a shit about your pathetic existances, so why should i bring your names into my conversations? no, i say nothing about you, if its worth saying to someone else its worth rubbing in your face.
i'm tired. i'm worn. i'm trying to understand. alots on at the moment. alots been on for awhile, but its starting to become noticable. i'm cracking around the edges. you'd have to truly know me to understand.
the dreams are starting to get to me. they're getting really bad. and my body hurts. mostly my shoulders.
i think i'm gonna go lay down.
goodnight
~Nessa~
they do it at work, my old classmates, my friends, and those too close to call friends. they look to me.
"what do i do now?"
sometimes i want to just step back, ask them how i should know? but they still come. most of them say i'm usually/always right. they want me to help them in their lives.
i don't understand my own. and i don't have all the answers. when something pops up that i don't understand, i just bullshit my way through it. it's worked so far.
don't misunderstand, it thrills me that people like my judgements(usually). it's just that most of the time, i'm scared. i'm scared i'll make a bad call. i'm scared something that isn't my fault will come back at me, or that someone will say my name.
if i no longer speak to you, it's probably because i could give a rats ass if you died. some of them, yes, they'd be a fine party. and this also goes for those of you: i do not give a shit about your pathetic existances, so why should i bring your names into my conversations? no, i say nothing about you, if its worth saying to someone else its worth rubbing in your face.
i'm tired. i'm worn. i'm trying to understand. alots on at the moment. alots been on for awhile, but its starting to become noticable. i'm cracking around the edges. you'd have to truly know me to understand.
the dreams are starting to get to me. they're getting really bad. and my body hurts. mostly my shoulders.
i think i'm gonna go lay down.
goodnight
~Nessa~