what do the five fingers say to the face?
have come to the conclusion (well one of many that i have stumbled upon recently, thanks marijuana!) that i have been a giant PUSSY lately. i've become the biggest emotional bitch in these past 5 or so months. and i apologize for that. the few of you who may have known me for awhile know that that is really not me.
it's fucking ridiculous what one really bad heartbreak does to a person. really fucking ridiculous.
anyway, i've worn my heart on my fucking sleeve for too long. i'm tired of being a walking open wound and shit. i don't need it. what i do need is a little more self-confidence like i used to have. and the guts i used to have too.
i guess i'm just sick of being the person everyone runs to when the person they think they're in love with walks on their heart like a doormat. for once i'd like to be the person sending them off. as mean as that sounds, everyone needs to be a little mean sometimes. it does in a way preserve sanity.
oh yeah, and as far as relationships go - fuck that nonsense. there's only one person i would at the moment even consider dating. i'm not going to push my heart on and off of people just to forget shit that's happened in my past. no one needs that bullshit.
perhaps what brought me to that little idea was the fact that i realized that danielle is full of
SHIT
and that i will no longer waste my time with her. she's over and done with. it makes me reallyfuckingangry that you can't try to go back to something that made you happy in the past if you want to be happy now because it won't work.
if life were only that simple. ha.
so i'm just going to try to realize the blessing of a life that i have right now and not think about anything else.
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on a side note:
rolled with the pirate crew to the evergreen terrace show tonight.
it fucking owned
and i got a fucking job. yes.