(no subject)
now this journal is for me no one can read it an i dont want things to get out i have problums this i no an i also no that i am the only one that can help scince i dont trust ne one enough to talk to them ... last night i was lookin at my arm an i was lookin at my scares as if they were a window to my past wit kris an then i look at the tattoo on my hand as another window to the time i was wit e an how i lost my blood no one nows wat my tattoo really stands for but i did it when e had the abortion done the three lines above the cross stand for her an the two kids that i have lost an i wonder how things would be if the abortion never happened an i didnt hit dave in the head wit the pipe after wat he did to her now the scares i dont look at an think bnout the good times kris an i have had but i look at them an i say to myself how could i ever let ne one get so close to me an care that much for someone that i would try to end my life over them yea i no that i said that i am goin to kill myself as soon as i get wat i want but i dont want to die no one actually wants to stop livein but i put it on my dead kids an now i have to so i will get the gun an go talk to kris one last time an tell her every thing an i will say bye to all my family an i let every one no wat has been goin on cause no one nos it my jus be easier to leave a note behind an i will but i want to tell ppl to there face wat i am an wat i am not anthen i will write wat i feel anwat drove me to do it right before i do i dont blame ne one an i hope no one feels that they r to blame an i dont want to do this but i have to for the sake of my dead kin