Look, an Arrow episode
Holy shit, it's been forever since I've watched this. I totes forgot Malcolm showed up! And is Thea's father! So that's awesome.
Can I just start by saying this whole super soldier thing is bullshit? I guess if it gets us Slade back I'm good with it. Aw, poor widdle security guards get all beat up.
Moira and Felicity! Too bad it was so awkward, I could go with that. This is her company too. Take that, Isabel! I would tell you to suck it, but you always look like you have a Warhead in your mouth anyway.
Hi, Quentin! Ah, this is a Queen warehouse. That's why we're supposed to care. Too soon for earthquake jokes, Ex-Detective. Aw, hi Barry! Were you always the CSI version of Peter Parker? I remember you being cockier and mouthier. But that was after you got your powers. Why would anyone steal a centrifuge? You can buy those. That is a damn large machine, whatever it was. I COULD SO SHIP BARRY AND FELICITY EXCEPT FELICITY IS OLLIE'S STEP OFF BARRY. AND THE FIRST THING QUENTIN THINKS OF IS CALLING ARROW <3!!!
Damn, Slade, you're looking kind of even rougher than usual. So, Shado, how do you feel about Ollie now?
100% do not remember Barry being such a dork. Felicity is way into him. Does Barry already have his powers, or is he going to get dosed by Brother Blood?
Is Ollie's solution to every social problem a party? Thea's right, I guess it is normal for them. Hi, Roy. Bye, Roy. What's so urgent, Roy?
Barry, dude, why your hard-on for the vigilante? The innuendo in this conversation is going right over Barry's head. Of course he has Dead Mom Syndrome. People can't just do things because it's the right thing to do, they all have to have a Motivating Tragic Past. Sugar? Is there a sugar factory in town?
Hi, Sin. Missing friend? Blood? WTFever.
Jesus, Malcolm, walk loudly. And whose fault is it Thea is all you have left, Malcolm? Fuck I hope Ollie electroshocks you into amnesia. Have some Vertigo, please. Lots of Vertigo.
Stolen sugar truck is 100% better than hiding in a sugar refinery. Blood now? That would make the centrifuge make sense (that's a lot of blood they're planning on spinning). It must be a vital component of the serum, or the serum causes a lot of bleeding.
Since my DVR has decided to freeze on Brother Cyrus' fucked up mask, let's talk about Flash for a minute here. I only really know him from the highly underrated live action TV show that came on right after Max Headroom (why haven't they rebooted Max?) and the occasional managing to catch a Justice League (or Superfriends, because let's be honest) cartoon. But I like him. A lot. Sometimes having someone with no angst around is pretty awesome. Flash is like "I like to go fast. Sometimes that helps people. Sometimes it just means I can race Superman around the world Whatever." Awesome. DC needs more levity. I think the humor is part of Marvel's secret sauce. Humor and awesome women. I was going to say DC needs more of both, but they have some pretty awesome women in their stable, if they would only condescend to use them correctly. Or use them at all. Do I think it's complete bullshit Wonder Woman is going to be a sideshow in the Display of Fail that Batman vs. Superman will inevitably be? Yep. Do I think what they've done to Starfire in New 52 is unforgivable? Oh hell yes. I also think Katie Sackhoff should play Carol Danvers, so what do I know? Everything I know about Captain Marvel I learned from Tumblr. And occasionally AO3. Anyway, Flash is cool, I'm glad to have him here, even if I would rather this 'verse be kept powers-free.
Okay, so fast-forwarding broke the freeze, and I've landed on Ollie and Cyrus fighting in a truck, and I guess Ollie tried to stab the bastard with an arrow, which worked but only sort of, because the point is covered in blood but also crumpled. I guess Barry's comment about greater penetration was supposed to be a Chekov?
Ollie, dude. You need some armor in the hoodie. Seriously. I'm starting to think you're a masochist or something. I bet Starling City has at least one professional dominatrix who isn't a supervillain (or hero) who could help you with that. No need to get beat up by people who aren't willing to give you proper aftercare. Anyway, I'm down with all the information-sharing going on in this scene. Plot complications because of refusing to tell your allies what you know are bullshit. "Why couldn't you have been marooned on Aruba?" And all teary eyed too. Oh, Felicity, you are a darling. So, who is Barry? Let's share some of that information.
Was that a submarine? Look, not all of us have giant HD screens, Show.
Lightning while they're in the lab? How cliched. Barry is at least a genuine geek. YOU DO TOO LIKE OLIVER FELICITY SHUT UP. Not too good on your feet, Barry? Is that supposed to be irony or a cover?
Oops, Roy just figured out the connection between Blood and missing artists. And his place is under surveillance? Why?
More about this particle accelerator? What kind of gun are they putting over the mantle with that? Oh, just an assistant. No big dark secret identity. Oh FFS, his Tragic Backstory wasn't already tragic enough? THERE WAS ANOTHER FLASH BEFORE BARRY? AN EVIL FLASH WTF? What's he going to do when he becomes one of the cases nobody believes are possible? He's a pretty good CSI, for an intern. Stephen's spent this entire episode looking like he's about to cry. Does he have a cold, or is it a character choice for some reason. I mean, I'm sure this whole thing has Ollie flashing back HARD, but um. Ollie didn't say "get out". Barry just took it as implied and left.
I have the hardest time recognizing Felicity without her glasses. Aw, Ollie throws a shitty party. Poor Queens. OH MY GODS, ROY, THAT IS THE WORLD'S FUGLIEST OUTFIT. BLACK SHIRTS NEVER GO WITH BLACK JACKETS AND WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THAT BOW TIE?! I wonder how many pieces Max is in. OH HAI, BARRY. Hee hee, they will card him. Hee. Air on the G String? This is not dancing music, random ensemble Ollie hired. Bach did not write dance music (generally). I'm still not sure how I feel about Isabel. Which is fine, because Ollie clearly doesn't either. Moira, however, I almost trust Moira's judgment.
Okay, so it was a submarine. Cool. Where's Nemo? Do they really think the serum can save Slade? Shado's pretty ruthless, even for a realist.
I still think Chez Queen should be Wayne Manor. It's waaaaaay too Gothic for the Queens. Moira's never going to tell Thea the truth and Malcolm will out himself in a big way and Thea will be alienated from her family forever. It's going to suck and hurt and gah.
Poor Barry. Ketamine? Why does the thief need Special K after he's been injected? Does it keep him from moving too fast?
That cop is going to be trouble for Roy and Sin. There was no other reason to give him that close-up.
Muscle density like concrete? How do his bones not break just from moving? Did the serum strengthen his tendons and ligaments too? WTF?
See you on the flip side, Slade. Don't go too evil on us.
[sigh] Ollie, just fucking train Roy already. Shooting him won't do much except make him less receptive to being saved. Dumbshit.
Hi, Moira. FFFFFF, Malcolm, I loved you last season, but I think I'm ready for you to be dead and stay that way. DAMMIT ALL STOP SAYING RAS' NAME WRONG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. AHAHAHAHA, THE BIG DOG'S COMING FOR YOU, YOU FECKLESS THUG. Wonder how he and Ollie will like each other. Ollie could do with some Assassin training. He's already got the parkour part down. Now he just needs some tomahawks or throwing knives or something.
Heh, pinning his shoes to the floor was pretty smart, Ollie. I hope that's serum in those needles and not just ketamine (that's a shitload of ketamine). Ollie is getting to the point where mere human isn't good enough.
Coded vials are good when you're a bad guy, not so smart for actual medical professionals. Felicity's totally going to call Barry.
Or dart gun Barry. That works too. Poor bastard really is a born loser. "please save my friend". Like he can't tell that's not Oliver Queen laying there. Mask, Ollie, mask. And not the spa facial kind.