Sigh.........
I hate where I am, is it normal for a parent to demand $50 a week to live in their house once you turn 18? I don't have enough money that I can just throw it at them when they waste so much of their own money. So depressed, joy. I miss Sian, the only thing that makes me happy, I've got nothing here in Brisbane. Fucking father and step-mother, they complain I'm not paying them and yet the keep on nagging me to 'go out' with 'friends' which would cost over $50 each time........FUCK!!!!!!
What is so wrong with wanting to spend my time alone, so fucking what, I'm anti-social, I know and they know it, GET THE FUCK OVER IT. I do't like people, I don't like being around people, so why the fuck would I put myself through that? To look normal? To gain friends? I'm leaving in a couple of months so why would I want to be close to anyone. Yeah I've been here a year, so what if I'm sorta friends with only 4 or 5 people? I can't wait till I'm back in Maryborough, I know it's a shit hole, but at least there, I have friends who know me and accept me, at least there my mother knows what I'm like and accepts that without constant nagging, she knows some of the shit I've been through and that the last thing I need is more pressure. Even though I don't like Cliff, I'd feel a fuckload more comfortable and welcome there then here.
They keep on bitching about Sian, that whenever she's up they never see me, that she doesn't talk to them, that she should be thanking them profusely for the pleasure of being allowed to stay in this house, because it's theirs. I mean fuck, they told her to get a job or fuck off that she couldn't live here, why the fuck would anyone want to talk to them again after that......I hate everything about being here. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK, I seriously need a less stressful environment or an outlet, I don't particularly want to go back to cutting at this stage, fuck this, I wish Sian was here, she'd make everything better, sigh. If Sian and I get married, I don't think I'll invite them.
They said I should be ashamed because I let Sian leave this house after living here for 6 months without saying anything to Mel, they said she should be ashamed and they said Sian's parents should be ashamed for raising her the way they did......I hate them for saying that, and if they bring it up again, I'll be calling Sian's parents so that they can tell them themselves, that they should be ashamed of their daughter because after being told to fuck off she didn't say thanks for having me.
I hate people so much........
What is so wrong with wanting to spend my time alone, so fucking what, I'm anti-social, I know and they know it, GET THE FUCK OVER IT. I do't like people, I don't like being around people, so why the fuck would I put myself through that? To look normal? To gain friends? I'm leaving in a couple of months so why would I want to be close to anyone. Yeah I've been here a year, so what if I'm sorta friends with only 4 or 5 people? I can't wait till I'm back in Maryborough, I know it's a shit hole, but at least there, I have friends who know me and accept me, at least there my mother knows what I'm like and accepts that without constant nagging, she knows some of the shit I've been through and that the last thing I need is more pressure. Even though I don't like Cliff, I'd feel a fuckload more comfortable and welcome there then here.
They keep on bitching about Sian, that whenever she's up they never see me, that she doesn't talk to them, that she should be thanking them profusely for the pleasure of being allowed to stay in this house, because it's theirs. I mean fuck, they told her to get a job or fuck off that she couldn't live here, why the fuck would anyone want to talk to them again after that......I hate everything about being here. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK, I seriously need a less stressful environment or an outlet, I don't particularly want to go back to cutting at this stage, fuck this, I wish Sian was here, she'd make everything better, sigh. If Sian and I get married, I don't think I'll invite them.
They said I should be ashamed because I let Sian leave this house after living here for 6 months without saying anything to Mel, they said she should be ashamed and they said Sian's parents should be ashamed for raising her the way they did......I hate them for saying that, and if they bring it up again, I'll be calling Sian's parents so that they can tell them themselves, that they should be ashamed of their daughter because after being told to fuck off she didn't say thanks for having me.
I hate people so much........