Journal Entry: July 11, 2000 - PRIVATE TO SELF, PUBLIC
Missed another session with Dr. Burke. You'd think she'd owl or something, but I guess she did say she wouldn't chase me down to show up. Something about it being my choice or something.
I don't know. I always think I'm going to go. It's not like they aren't - something. Nice? No. Helpful? No bloody clue. Constructive? Enlightening? I don't even think I know what those are supposed to feel like. It just gets down to it and when I should be flooing over there...I don't. Next thing you know it's too late to go and so I continue not to. Then I've missed it all together and I'm relieved. Maybe I should stop going? Maybe I should make sure I go next week? Maybe...I don't know.
And it's July. I fucking hate July. And Hermione wants to have this party and I've been such a prat to her and should let her...but she doesn't get it. No one really gets it. I went so long without celebrating it and then Voldemort marked it by attacking Azkaban and freeing the Deatheaters a couple years back, and I've ignored it since then. Why do I need to celebrate it now? I didn't even think I'd live to see it, and unlike Hermione, I don't think that's a reason to have a party.
But I'll play nice and try not to snap anybody's head off and bloody hell, I'll bet she's inviting Ginny & the Twins. I may not live to see 20 after all.
[/PRIVATE]
I hate July.