i feel like the rainy day thats all around me
i wish i could drown in it. maybe i'll go lay down and never get back up. maybe i'll go wander through the woods until i fall off the edge of the world. i went to sleep beside matt and i felt sad. i woke up next to him many times this morning and i felt sad. i have no reason to feel this way. i wish i could leave this town for a little while. i wish that i wasn't so annoyed with my family, ecspecially my dad. but i can't help but feel hurt because he has this whole other family and hes so wrapped up in doing everything for them he doesn't care about the children he left behind. he told us he didn't want kody and victoria to turn out like we did. we are that bad. mostly its me. but one day i'm not going to need him. and i'm going to leave. and hes not going to matter. and hes going to wonder about the daughter he abandoned. his life is so miserable well thats fine. he ran. shane and christy ran. my mom ran. i'm the only one who stayed. the only one who decided to fight and will continue to long after any of them. fuck it. i'm so tired of caring about people who won't even stand up for themselves. i don't want any of them.