confused.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the days of high school; back when life was far less complicated. Serious commitments to anything other than a sport were unheard of. The days of living under your parent's roof, not having to worry about paying rent of buying groceries. The days of acceptable immaturity, irresponsibility, and freedom that were handed to you as a sort of "get out of jail free" card. There may have been unrealistic drama and stupid rumors, cliques and dirty looks, but most of the time poeple ignored the childish antics presented by "the popular crowd". Those were the days where you'd have three different boyfriends in one month, and numerous crushes more. You were never expected to commit to one person, because dating was promoted by even your parents.
As you grow older, you realize that as a person matures, so does their heart; and somehow, this leaves you more vulnerable to being hurt. You do your best to avoid being heart broken, and, as you finally begin to listen to that voice they call a consience, you make every attempt not to break anyone else's heart, as well. Complications arise. Are you in love? Are they? Where is this relationship going? Is this someone you could spend forever with?
The pool in which you used to select your opposite sex interests lessens as you begin to understand that a "bad boy" image isn't everything you once thought it was. But this only complicates matters more. Now you have a limited number of men you'd be willing to date, but everyone of them is sweet, kind, romantic, caring. Each one shares your interests, opens your doors, pays for your dinners, and gushes over how beautiful you are. But they do nothing to set themselves apart from one another. Sure, one may be more handsome or perhaps one can dance better, but they each treat you with the overwhelming respect you have come to love.
And, like a selfish child, you want them all to yourselves. It's impractical to date more than one, but perhaps you date one while stringing along the other. These guys are not your's, but you'd loike to think so. And whilst you want no other woman to steal their hearts away, you justify your reasonings in giving away tiny pieces of your heart to multiple people.
Pictures of one significant other cover your work desk, yet while gazing off at them, you find yourself thinking of another. Guilt strikes deep; you know what you're doing is wrong and could inevitably hurt many people. Still, you continue on your escapade because you're too afraid to lose perhaps the attention, love, or "the right one". Spending one night with this person and the next night with the other, giving yourself completely to each, but holding back so much.
Oh, what tangled webs we weave in our pursuit to find happiness, fulfilment, true love. Trying to create our own destiny when it's already been laid out by the stars above. The same stars you stood under with each boy on different nights, holding them close and not letting go. Because you can't let go once you've given a piece of yourself to someone. Feelings grow deeper and lies become easier, and you ignore that voice that is pleading with you to make things right. But what is right? Once a heart is involved, the line between right and wrong becomes a blur and we dance back and forth from each side without notice.. ignoring the hearts we hold in our hands and the immense power we have to break them.
As you grow older, you realize that as a person matures, so does their heart; and somehow, this leaves you more vulnerable to being hurt. You do your best to avoid being heart broken, and, as you finally begin to listen to that voice they call a consience, you make every attempt not to break anyone else's heart, as well. Complications arise. Are you in love? Are they? Where is this relationship going? Is this someone you could spend forever with?
The pool in which you used to select your opposite sex interests lessens as you begin to understand that a "bad boy" image isn't everything you once thought it was. But this only complicates matters more. Now you have a limited number of men you'd be willing to date, but everyone of them is sweet, kind, romantic, caring. Each one shares your interests, opens your doors, pays for your dinners, and gushes over how beautiful you are. But they do nothing to set themselves apart from one another. Sure, one may be more handsome or perhaps one can dance better, but they each treat you with the overwhelming respect you have come to love.
And, like a selfish child, you want them all to yourselves. It's impractical to date more than one, but perhaps you date one while stringing along the other. These guys are not your's, but you'd loike to think so. And whilst you want no other woman to steal their hearts away, you justify your reasonings in giving away tiny pieces of your heart to multiple people.
Pictures of one significant other cover your work desk, yet while gazing off at them, you find yourself thinking of another. Guilt strikes deep; you know what you're doing is wrong and could inevitably hurt many people. Still, you continue on your escapade because you're too afraid to lose perhaps the attention, love, or "the right one". Spending one night with this person and the next night with the other, giving yourself completely to each, but holding back so much.
Oh, what tangled webs we weave in our pursuit to find happiness, fulfilment, true love. Trying to create our own destiny when it's already been laid out by the stars above. The same stars you stood under with each boy on different nights, holding them close and not letting go. Because you can't let go once you've given a piece of yourself to someone. Feelings grow deeper and lies become easier, and you ignore that voice that is pleading with you to make things right. But what is right? Once a heart is involved, the line between right and wrong becomes a blur and we dance back and forth from each side without notice.. ignoring the hearts we hold in our hands and the immense power we have to break them.