(no subject)
sometimes my nights are harder than others.
there are nights like monday
when I went out with Nick and Nicole and had dinner and went to a movie.
Then I went to the bookstore and just wandered around for an hour or so and left with goodies to keep me occupied for a couple of days.
Those are the nights that I feel whole... I feel complete and that I'm doing everything right.
Those nights I feel like I'm in control.
but then there are nights like tonight.
where I just miss what has already happened in my life. Nights where I miss old friends..
like Mitch and Jarrett.
And Alex.
Alicia and Chenee.
The summers with Ian and Mandi.
Nights where we'd go to the park and sing and dance to music.
Nights where we'd stay up and just talk or watch movies.
These nights I feel lost.
These nights I feel as if I'm not in control.
Sometimes I think I've grown up to fast.
and I guess that isn't such a bad thing....
just different.
I'm 21 years old and I SHOULD be acting my age but instead I choose to stay in with a book and a cup of coffee.
and I have fun doing that.
and I think that may be why I have yet to look for a room mate...
....because I don't want to be around people. I love my time alone.
I love coming home and curling up with a book in bed and not being disturbed by ANYONE.
I'm afraid if I were to have a roommate again, social activities would be forced on me and I'm not a very social person...
then again I may be feeling the way I'm feeling because I just finished reading
"the perks of being a wallflower"
today...
it's definitely a book I won't forget any time soon and one I will read again and again.
i can feel it.
there are nights like monday
when I went out with Nick and Nicole and had dinner and went to a movie.
Then I went to the bookstore and just wandered around for an hour or so and left with goodies to keep me occupied for a couple of days.
Those are the nights that I feel whole... I feel complete and that I'm doing everything right.
Those nights I feel like I'm in control.
but then there are nights like tonight.
where I just miss what has already happened in my life. Nights where I miss old friends..
like Mitch and Jarrett.
And Alex.
Alicia and Chenee.
The summers with Ian and Mandi.
Nights where we'd go to the park and sing and dance to music.
Nights where we'd stay up and just talk or watch movies.
These nights I feel lost.
These nights I feel as if I'm not in control.
Sometimes I think I've grown up to fast.
and I guess that isn't such a bad thing....
just different.
I'm 21 years old and I SHOULD be acting my age but instead I choose to stay in with a book and a cup of coffee.
and I have fun doing that.
and I think that may be why I have yet to look for a room mate...
....because I don't want to be around people. I love my time alone.
I love coming home and curling up with a book in bed and not being disturbed by ANYONE.
I'm afraid if I were to have a roommate again, social activities would be forced on me and I'm not a very social person...
then again I may be feeling the way I'm feeling because I just finished reading
"the perks of being a wallflower"
today...
it's definitely a book I won't forget any time soon and one I will read again and again.
i can feel it.