i'll start with something i wrote a while ago....

[britty_gotback]

...then at night, when i'm all alone, thoughts of loneliness and honesty and fate come sneaking up on me. i'll sit and i'll think and i'll think to repeat and the sounds and the fears swallow me whole. when i look and i speak and i think to repeat, i feel safe and calm and one. but tonight, when i'm all alone, no thoughts control my mind but

Comments

[wendydarling]

I don't see how you could think that I'd be scared off. This is going to sound really cheesy, but right now I have so much respect for you, and what you just did. You just spilled your heart out and set it on a platform, and you don't care what people say. I always hold you with such high regard - I always go, "wow, Brittany's got so much courage, and inner strength, I wish I could hold myself the way she does." ..and you know.. Even though sometimes, I know when you have a lot on your mind, and somethings up, I still think you have a lot of courage. I wish I could offer you more than just support in certain things, but I can't. In a way, I don't really mind all that much, because I know you get it from other places - like Travis. You always get scared that you talk about him too much with me, or something like that. I always tell you that you don't, but sometimes I don't think you believe me. I love hearing you talk about Travis. Even if it's a repeat of things said before - I just sit there and smile, and go, "aw.." and release my inner girl at it all, and count blessings on all the stars in the sky for the both of you, and the fact that you'll always have each other. You guys make each other happy, and the two of you offer the other what one doesn't have. It's a beautiful thing to watch and hear about from both you and Travis - that's why I never mind. I lvoe you forever ******, and nothing will ever change that. I'll always be here for you, as long as I can be. Even though sometimes I can't be there in person to listen.. Or if I'm too wound up in myself to pay attention, know that I still care about you more than you could ever know. I know this was sort've longish and dorky, but I meant every word.. I hope you can understand it. We both know what a goober I am when it comes to being one with the articulate. *laughs* I lvoe you, fish lips.

[britty_gotback]

ew, ******. very ew. can we stop with the crying? wanna know the reason why i get so paranoid and think everyone wants to be your best friend? because i still can't believe you picked me. -shakes head- you're the most beautiful person in the world and you drive me crazy sometimes because you don't see it. i love listening to you talk about orlando. there's noone in the world i would rather get extremely girly with. i know we both tried to fight it, but we must embrace the chick in us and as kate for tips on how to be girlier in 10 days. heh get it? i refuse to go see the movie Troy, because it will forever be known as the movie that stole a part of my heart away and took it to tokyo. or london, whatever. i could write a novel on you and how much you've influenced me as a person and still need to write 2 sequels to include how much i love and respect you as a person. so can you see now why i get so scared? why i freak out when you start making new friends. i'll steal the hair of the person who takes my place. i lvoe you more, contessa.

BFF 4 EVA,

dutchess.

[wendydarling]

*laughs* No way, ******, boogers forever! And you have no reason to ever fear. Ever. I didn't even pick you, to be perfectly honest. To be even more so.. I even tried to fight it. I didn't like it, how easily and quickly you could call me out and be right. How you could see right through me, and bring up crap that I didn't want to talk about - or let be seen. You're too much like me, for me to have felt safe with. I always feel like.. even just talking to me, you always are able to see through me, and call me on things. That scared me. So I .. didn't want to be your friend. I even tried to dislike you. You wormed your ass into my feelings, and thoughts, though, and eventually.. okay, so it didn't exactly take that long, but you wiggled like the ltitle sperm you were into my heart. *laughs* Sorry, had to. I was writing wiggled, and I thought about our talk about Look Who's Talking the other day which lead me to th.. yeah, anyway. I still don't see myself through the eyes of you, I just.. I know that you lvoe me, and that's good enough for me. I just never want to disappoint you, and sometimes I'm afraid that it's such a real possibility. I know I have in the past, and I know that I will in the future. But I know you'll love me anyway. We always say we'll give into the girliness of our situations but it seems like most of the time - we keep fighting it. That's okay with me, because fighting it with you, is sort've.. adventurous. In a weird, really boogery, scary way. And you know damn straight you'll go see Troy, because you're going to be holding my hand throughout the movie, and you'll gossip with me during the entire thing about how great Orlando's ass is in his little skirt. *snorts, snickers* Ahem. Anyway. *nods* *stage whisper* Brad looks like Xenon Warrior Princess! *dies* And it's LONDON. And MALTA. Brat. *laughs* And if you ever write a book like that, I'd lock you up and have you eat every page you write - it's your influence and guidance that helps me a lot. You point it out to me that I'm behaving irashionally at times, or childish, or even way out of line. You'll make a single comment, off the wall, and I'll be immediately chastising myself because you pointed out rather bluntly - I was acting like an idiot. You help me kick my ass whenever I'm out of line, and then you kick my ass some more when I'm not giving myself enough credit. Sometimes you're wrong, and sometimes you irritate me, and then there are times when I get upset because no matter what I do to hide it, you point out exactly what I don't want to hear. But all the things you do are in a weird way within the bond of the friendship that we have, and I can't help but go back to lvoing you. You're staying my best friend forever - even if I have to superglue your hair to mine so no matter what your hair will ALWAYS be the best. We'll even get a good special helmet made for us. I lvoe you EQUALLY (hey, stick to the rules! :P), Dutchess. No matter what - even if you don't shampoo your hair for a ..okay a month is all I'll give you. ewww. You're my favorite one-eyed stick-cartoon ever. *grins, blows nose* Booger? - Contessa

[wendydarling]

And yeah, I know I spelled irrationally wrong. shuddap, woman.

[britty_gotback]

i was just thinking that! i was about to whip out my dictionary and tell you that it was wrong. gah. ruin my fun.:-* yeah we've said all that needed to be said. i can't tell you i lvoe you again because that's just too much! and yes i'll go see troy with you and gossip and be mean. because that's what italian bitches do best. we were given fish lips for a reason and it's not the nasty dirty one that we both like doing but the other one.....talking bad about people we don't like. -snorts- and that's alotta people. i edited the entry for you, tara, and kate. i hope you'll go back and read it again.

for ever and alway,

******

[wendydarling]

*laughs* you need a dictionary to tell me I spelled irrationally wrong? lmfao. And I agree! You know forever that I lvoe you, and that you'll always be my best friend. I should show you pictures. I'm not kidding when I say Xenon. He's even wearing, "the boots". :-X Girl's who don't like doing the nasty dirty one only don't like it cuz they can't do it right. And I love talking abd about people with you, because like I told Kate last night when we were talking.. I can only really 'insult' or say mean things about people to you, Kate, and Michelle, without you guys thinking I'm lame, loserish, petty or even in some cases 'jealous', which seems to be a popular one. Didn't I tell you to stop editing the post? :P But again, it just makes me stop and become really aware of how strong you are. :) I lvoe you, my sperm. *snickers* You shall always be sperm to me now. lmfao.