It's almost 2am, I have an early class tomorrow, and I'm on LJ
I didn't cry when my parents left me in Gainesville and drove back to my old life in Palm Beach County. I saw a lot of tearful goodbyes in my dorm hall...but none of it really seemed like it was happening. I guess some changes are so big, you can't even really grasp their full impact while they're in the midst of happening.
I sat in my empty dorm room (my roomies were off somewhere) and thought, "Okay. Now what?" Very anticlimactic.
Now the year is over and I don't really know how to describe it. I can't say I've found my new best friends, but I've learned some new things about my old ones. I've accomplished a fair amount, and I've done things I'm not proud of. I'm not sure anymore who I'm becoming, or who I want to be, for that matter.
I hate that uncertainty.
Then again, I got up in front of my public speaking class this week, and amongst all the other persuasive speeches about recycling and sending help to Darfur, I gave an impassioned speech to convince my audience to "dance like there's ants in your pants" anywhere, anytime. Note: transitioning from a speech on Darfur to one on random acts of dance...awkward. Once my professor got over her initial shock and confusion, she told me she wouldn't be failing me because it was fairly amusing to watch me dance in front of the entire class. Some things never change.
It would have really sucked if she failed me, though. I'd probably cry and never dance again. Sad.
Three more weeks.
I used to believe that kids who'd been in college for a year understood the "college life"...that they were settled into the lifestyle.
ha. yeah, well fuck that idea.
I have no idea what I'm doing. I've switched circles of friends and my major several times, and apparantly, the only conviction I can hold regards breaking out into random dance numbers.
It's the end of the year, and it might as well be the first day. Everything is bound to change all over again anyway.
I sat in my empty dorm room (my roomies were off somewhere) and thought, "Okay. Now what?" Very anticlimactic.
Now the year is over and I don't really know how to describe it. I can't say I've found my new best friends, but I've learned some new things about my old ones. I've accomplished a fair amount, and I've done things I'm not proud of. I'm not sure anymore who I'm becoming, or who I want to be, for that matter.
I hate that uncertainty.
Then again, I got up in front of my public speaking class this week, and amongst all the other persuasive speeches about recycling and sending help to Darfur, I gave an impassioned speech to convince my audience to "dance like there's ants in your pants" anywhere, anytime. Note: transitioning from a speech on Darfur to one on random acts of dance...awkward. Once my professor got over her initial shock and confusion, she told me she wouldn't be failing me because it was fairly amusing to watch me dance in front of the entire class. Some things never change.
It would have really sucked if she failed me, though. I'd probably cry and never dance again. Sad.
Three more weeks.
I used to believe that kids who'd been in college for a year understood the "college life"...that they were settled into the lifestyle.
ha. yeah, well fuck that idea.
I have no idea what I'm doing. I've switched circles of friends and my major several times, and apparantly, the only conviction I can hold regards breaking out into random dance numbers.
It's the end of the year, and it might as well be the first day. Everything is bound to change all over again anyway.