sometimes, you just... fall.

[britneyrp1]

everyone has their moments of weakness.. and i guess this right here is mine. i've never believed true feelings could be expressed through a song like this one does for me. everyone knows about the long trials i've been through.. and this is just one of those nights.. pain seeped through. please know i meant every word that i said to jc and justin. but right now.. theres some things i have to get off my chest. im asking you.. if you think this may make you feel bad, hurt, upset.. don't click this button, i know its like a fucking car wreck. but this is the way i feel. this is my journal. i was thinking of locking this journal entry. but whats the point. the feelings expressed here are about the closest people to me in my life. if i block it friends only.. they'd still see it. just.. know.. i love you. each. and every. one of you.



-slides on the piano bench slowly and slides my fingers over the ivory keys.. plays a few notes before pressing down on a certain petal and licks lips quick-

-takes a breath and closes eyes-

-sings softly and starts to play-

would have given up my life ...for you, -a look of soft pain falls over my features-

guess its true what they say about love, its blind.

boy you lied straight to my face, lookin in my eyes,

and i believed you cause i loved you more than life,

-swallows and looks down at the keys.. concentrating on them fully-

and all you had to do, was appologize,

-eyes gloss over with tears-

you didn't say you're sorry, i dont understand,

you dont' care that you hurt me,

and now i'm half the girl that i used to be, when it was you and me, you didn't love me enough ..

my heart may never mend.. and you'll never get to love me.. again... -hums softly- no no no..

-takes a breath and keeps playing.. closes my eyes tight-

sadness has me at the end.. of the line.

helpless, watched you break this heart, of mine..

and loneliness only wants you back, here with me..

conscience knows that you're not good enough for me..

and all you had to do was appologize and mean it ..

-licks lips quick and a tear falls slowly down my cheek-

but you didn't say you're sorry.. i dont understand..

you dont care that you hurt me..

and now im half the girl..that i used to be.. when it was you and me, you didn't love me enough ..

my heart may never mend.. and you'll never get to love me..

-closes eyes tight and sings with every part of my soul and heart-

wish like hell i could go back.. in time..

maybe then i could see how..

forgiveness says that i should give you one more try..

but its too late.. its over now..

-lets out a breath and lets fingers slide over the keys-

you didn't say you're sorry, i dont understand,

you dont' care that you hurt me,

and now i'm half the girl that i used to be, when it was you and me,

you didn't love me ...enough .. .....

my heart may never mend..

and you'll never get to love me......

again

again.. yeah yeah... again again again yeah yeah.. never get to love me...

-lets fingers slide away from the keys and rubs the back of my neck letting my eyes flutter open my face wet with tears.. gets up slowly and walks away from the piano.. through the door and shuts it softly-