(no subject)
ok so i have pretty much been dead for the past two days and it was nice being back at school. i was glad to see that some people missed me and apparently bunches asked tiff how i was, but i was probably to drugged up on antibiotics OR of course sleeping to have heard her tell me or give her the chance to tell me...hee hee, but i was kinda surprised at some of the people that i thought would have noticed me gone...that the hallways are much more quiet without me there. i understand all things in turn must come to an end, but i guess i hadn't realized how quickly and unexpected some things happen...in the blink of an eye my friendship with one of the sweetest girls i knew just kind of ceased to exist. this girl...was my hero. she made me feel like i wasnt alone because no matter what i was dealing with it, she was going through it to. this girl gave amazing advice, and took constructive criticism in the most mature and responsible way. this girl was respected and i was her best friend. i look back and laugh at memories of stupid things, car rides, grocery stores even...but now i am pretty much invisible. we don't talk, if we do we get in an argument. we pass each other in the hall and look right past each other. not even a smile, how are you? anything...nothing. am i the only one that notices? sometimes i feel kind of hurt that if we do call she tells us shes not feeling well but somehow or other we find out she was off with other people...doing other things. i wish she would tell us the truth...i wish things had never changed. there is a change...you can see it in her eyes too...she is drowning in her own tears of desperation...in a way she grew up but didnt mature quite with her problems. her smile is seldom and her laughter far off, with her thoughts, until her crying brings her back to her reality. i am sorry for the friendship lost, but it seems we are not happy nor upset with each other, we are just...gone. two different paths. invisible if i must be, but ill still be there watching until the end.