I dont wanna feel like this!
Its only monday and already i wanna give up and just die. And just pretend i'm not here and this life doesnt exist and everything i want will come to me in the end. I truly believe that God has his reasons for the things he does in my life. And i wanna believe that i wouldnt be jealous of other people and that i deserve to be just as happy as them. And that my sleep deprivation will go away and i'll be able to calm down and get a decent night of sleep. But that isnt me. Cause once i'm breaking down there is no stopping it. I will fall till i hit rock bottom. Until every part of me realizes that i'm better than this and that no everyone is as perfect as i make them seem. I hope i wake up from my nightmare soon.