I just need to vent.

[brisk_amore]

I don't think things can get much worse right now.  So it was my first real practice for varsity volleyball.   This practice sucked because we did conditioning the whole time.  Well right in the middle of everything my knee decides to give out.  Yes!  My kneecap slid out.  IThere is no agonizing pain involved in that at all.. And wait that surgery I had this summer to fix that was really helpful!  I had to sit out the rest of practice and I felt like a complete idiot.  The worst part is that my coach didn't even come over to see what was wrong until practically the end of practice.  It was like she didn't care.  My worst fear is that she thought I became tired so I decided to be lazy and sit down.  That is in no way, shape, or form who I am.  I really wish she knew how much I want this.  Why do I have to have a freakin injury during the first effing practice?!I want her to know that I am NOT a slacker.  I am going to work hard and give everything my all!  Of course, I am competing for my spot.  How am I supposed to fight for it if I can't even walk?  Why is my coach acting like this?  Does this affect my chances for the whole season? Why do I have to get hurt?  Why is this happening to me?  Why can't I be a normal high schooler w/o medical issues affecting my life 24/7? Why why why????????

I can't take the stress that my whole season could come down to this one practice.  I just don't know what to do.  I don't know how to handle this.

I really need to scream.  And punch someone.